Fisticuffs

     It's been a fightin' week on GH, from Nina's magazine-throwing tirade at Julian on Monday to Sonny and Dante sparring in the ring yesterday to the show of fisticuffs that goes down at Wyndemere today.   After discovering that Nikolas had Haychel shot, Sam confronts Nikolas at his castle of residence and brings Jason along.  Nikolas, already on edge due to the presence of Curtis, feels the noose tighten around his neck when his cousin threatens to squeal to the cops.

       Elsewhere in The Chuckles (and outside of it), Kristina tells Molly about their mom's reaction to her possible gayness.  Julian warns Ava about Sonny.  Carly doesn't want Sonny anywhere near Carrrrrrrrrrlos.   Alexis confronts Parker about Kristina.

      WYNDEMERE

           NIKOLAS:  No, Haychel, your friend cannot sleep over.
           CURTIS:  Hey Princey-Prince, we've got the goods on your attempt on your wife Haychel's life.
           NIKOLAS:  Oh really, tough guy?  Do you expect me to be impressed with your Photoshop skills?   This loveless marriage based on distrust and lies is between me and Haychel.
           HAYCHEL:  Curtis stays or you're future is in jumpsuits.


       JASON'S NEW APARTMENT

           SAM:  OMG, Nikolas tried to have Haychel MURDERED!   Not that I like that poor man's Sam McCall, but I didn't want her DEAD.
           JASON:  The dude's a Cassadine.  Isn't it par for the course?
           SAM:  But...but he was the GOOD Cassadine!
           JASON:  Yeah, I don't think that applies anymore.

    
        ALEXIS & JULIAN'S HOUSE

          KRISTINA:  So I told Mom about Parker and that I have a gay side that is anywhere from 10 to 100% of me and she's like "No you DON'T!  You're just CONFUSED!"
          MOLLY:  Well, Krissy, are you or are you not confused about your sexuality?
          KRISTINA:  I am, but Mom was totally in denial that any percent of me could be gay.   I'm like, "Jeez Mom, why don't you go out and vote Republican while you're at it".
          MOLLY:  That was shockingly unenlightened of Mom.   I'm going to have to sit her down and take her temperature.

       
        WESLEYAN

         ALEXIS:  Remember me?  I'm the mother of the impressionable young student you manipulated into questioning her sexuality.
         PARKER:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAT???   I did no such thing!   She was ALREADY questioning her sexuality.
         ALEXIS:  But she's never BEEN a lesbian before.  She didn't just become one overnight.   She was married to a MAN.   Granted it lasted 5 minutes and he died and she was a rather different person then, but she gave me NO indication that she bats for the other team.
         PARKER:  Who knows?  Maybe she's a switch hitter?   The point is, she's confused and she needs her mama.
       

         CORINTHOS HOUSE

      CARLY:  Sonny, why don't you just forget about this whole Carrrrrrrrrlos thing and save yourself the trouble of getting shot and stressing me the hell out.
      SONNY:  Carrrrrrrrrlos needs to be brought to justice and I'm gonna be the one to bring him there.  I got the law on my side this time, Carly.   Once I find that sonofabitch, I'm gonna hand him over to Anna and the feds and he's gonna turn Julian's ass in for putting the hit out on Duke.  Do you need a refresher course on how the mob works?
      CARLY:  But can't you be a less dangerous mob or something?
      SONNY:  I'll be a "less dangerous mob" when pigs fly.

   
        WYNDEMERE

        SAM:  BAD Nikolas!   BAD, BAD, BAD!!!  I should have known there was no such thing as a "good Cassadine."  I'm calling the cops.
         NIKOLAS:  Hello?   Since when have you even LIKED Haychel?
         SAM:  SO not the point, murderous cousin!   You're going DOWN for this!  (starts dialing her phone)
         NIKOLAS:  Gimme that phone!
         SAM:  What are you going to do if I don't?   Hire a goon to plug ME with lead too?    Have you turned into your GRANDMOTHER?
          JASON: DEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS, NIKKY BOY!  POW! 
          CURTIS:  What's this dude's problem?  (lunges for Jason)
          JASON: THWACK! 
          NIKOLAS: SMACK!  
          JASON: (grabs Nikolas and tries to break his neck)
          HAYCHEL:  OMG, Jason is going to KILL Nikolas!
          SAM:  DOWN, Jason!  DOWN!   Does anyone have a stun gun?   My ex-hubby's about to kill my murderous cousin!
          JASON:  GRRRRRRRRRRR!
          SAM:  LET HIM GO! 
          JASON:  FINE, DAMMIT!  I was 2 seconds away from snapping his pompous royal neck!
          SAM:  Jason, let me refresh your memory on what happens to people who kill other people:  They go to prison.   Remember that place we were the other day?   You don't want to end up there.

       
          CORINTHOS HOUSE

       AVA:  It was YOU!   What kind of sicko are you, threatening me with black roses while I was siting vigil by my comatose daughter's bedside?
       SONNY:  Don't flatter yourself, Ava.  I didn't send you flowers.
       AVA:  You know Kiki's getting sprung from that hospital soon, don't you?   That means Avery's coming to live with ME, Kiki, and my service hedgehog.

       
          JASON'S NEW APARTMENT

        SAM:  You almost killed my cousin.  Let's have sex.
        JASON:  Okay, ex-wife.  If that's what does it for ya...

     
         AVA'S BEDROOM

        AVA:  AAGGGGHHHHH!!!!   When did I get a cat?   Do service hedgehogs drag in dead birds too?


          WYNDEMERE

      NIKOLAS:  (takes dagger out of drawer and places it on nightstand)  Good night, Haychel.   I would recommend sleeping with one eye open.
      HAYCHEL:  (takes knife off of nightstand and holds it in her hand)  I've got a better idea.
      HELENA PAINTING:  BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!   Sleeping with knives now, are we?   How very diabolically Cassadine!