Sam invites Jake over for a play date with Danny and tries to pry information about his "secret" out of him. Lulu catches Valerie in a state of undress with an unapologetic Dante. Nikolas tells Laura that Helena is dead. Hayden meets with Shawn's friend Curtis about finding evidence against Nikolas. Sonny has his first supervised visit with Avery. Paul tells Ava to oversee his "shipment". Liz ask Jason to talk to Diane about divorcing Sam.
HOSPITAL
JASON: Gotta go talk to Diane Miller about some legal, and probably illegal, Jason Morgan stuff.
LIZ: While you have her ear, see about divorcing Sam. PRONTO!
JASON: Yeah, sure, whatever.
DANTE'S APARTMENT
DANTE: Guess what, Valerie? I had sex with you and I don't regret it! Is that progress or what?
VALERIE: Totally don't regret Turkey Day sex. It was SO worth pretending to give a crap about football.
WYNDEMERE
LAURA: (on phone with Lulu) Honey, did you go make up with Dante yet?
LULU: On my way there, Mom. Thanks for the motherly advice. By the way, have you seen Rocco? I think I left him at the MetroCourt. Dang kid must wear a cloak of invisibility because half the time, I totally forget he exists.
HOSPITAL
AVA: It's your lucky day, Sonny! You get to visit our dear little Crypt Baby and this lady over here will make sure you behave.
YVONNE: Hi, I'm Yvonne, your court-ordered babysitter.
SONNY: What the??? This chick's gonna WATCH me sing songs to my daughter? Did she at least bring a tambourine?
HAUNTED STAR
CURTIS: Hi. I'm Curtis. I'm Shawn's sexy sidekick from outside of P-ville. I hope you don't mind if I smoke this here cigar.
HAYDEN: Sure! Why don't you send up smoke signals while you're at it. This little arrangement is supposed to be on the down-low. Why else would I be dressed like Carmen Sandiego?
CURTIS: You have a point. What do you want?
HAYDEN: I need evidence to nail my so-called boyfriend for sending an assassin after me. You help me get said evidence and you buddy Shawn goes free. Got it?
WYNDEMERE
LAURA: I'm so glad you're back, Nikolas! I was afraid Helena might have eaten Jason, then polished you off for dessert.
NIKOLAS: Helena's kaput, Mother. As in dead. But strangely, I'm sorta kinda grieving her.
LAURA: Well, in addition to being the bogeywoman, she was your grandmother. But at least she won't rat you and Elizabeth out for keeping The Big Secret from Jason. Now that Hayden is another story.
NIKOLAS: I trust Hayden. Sort of.
LAURA: Like you trusted that Britt girl who conspired with a 9-year-old to scare the crap out of you?
DANTE'S APARTMENT
LULU: OMG, Dante, is Valerie NAKED under that blanket??? You two had TURKEY DAY NOOKIE didn't you? Tell me, was it as DIRTY and NASTY as FOURTH OF JULY NOOKIE?
DANTE: But...but...YOU served me separation papers!
LULU: Hello? Don't you know there's a 24-hour waiting period for sex with your wife's cousin after signing separation papers???
DANTE: I guess I didn't get the memo on that.
VALERIE: Dante and I had STEAMING HOT THANKSGIVING SEX because YOU dumped him HEADFIRST into the recycle bin. At least you were being green, I guess.
LULU: YOU, my skanky hubby-stealing cousin, are blaming ME for the two of you creating a holiday boinkfest ritual?
VALERIE: Damn straight I am! Christmas is coming, Lulu. Enjoy your lump of coal while Dante and I are gettin' it on by the light of the Christmas tree!
LULU: I have half a mind to sic Helena Cassadine on you! She eats Spencers for breakfast.
GHOST HELENA: It looks like YOU didn't get the memo this time, my dear. I'm "dead". For the time being, you will have to handle your strumpet of a cousin all by yourself.
HOSPITAL
CARLY: Listen, Yvonne, I'll give you $100 if you disappear for an hour or so while Sonny visits Avery.
YVONNE: I'll be right outside the door.
SONNY: Hey there, Avery! Remember me? I'm your daddy! Yeah, I know this chair's freaking you out, but I'll be out of it in no time and you'll be living with me and Carly and your big brother Morgan. How's that sound?
AVERY: Baby! Baby baby baby baby baby!
SONNY: She's saying REAL WORDS now! My baby's saying REAL WORDS!
AVERY: My Baby!
SONNY: Come on, Avery. Let's sing a song before that "nice lady" comes to give you back to your fire-breathing dragon of a mother. Beautiful dreamer...
GALLERY
PAUL: Ava, I'd like you to meet your new best friend Raj. Raj, this is Ava. She will be overseeing our "shipments".
AVA: What exactly are we shipping?
PAUL: If I tell you, I'm going to have to...well, you get the idea.
AVA: You do know I'm trying to keep my daughter, don't you?
PAUL: Two words: Flash drive.
AVA: Fine. Dammit! I'll take care of your friggin' "shipments"
HOSPITAL
JASON: (on the phone with Sam) What is it, wife I don't remember having?
SAM: Can you bring Jake over to hang out with Danny?
JASON: Yeah, I guess. I'll bring him over on the way to Diane's.
PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE
SAM: So, Jake, you've heard of the Internet, haven't you?
JAKE: Yeah, Cam says it makes people tweet like birds and make videos about cats.
SAM: So I was reading this article I found on the Internet that said that letting go of secrets is good for the soul. Do you have any secrets you want to let go of?
JAKE: Well, my mom and my grandma have a secret about my dad.
SAM: Oh really? (to herself) What the hell do you think you're doing, Sam, interrogating an 8-year-old? What's WRONG with you? (to Jake) Well, that's enough confession for today.
HAUNTED STAR
LAURA: Ding dong, the witch is dead! Which old witch? The wicked witch! Ding dong the wicked witch is dead!
GHOST HELENA: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Poor, misguided Laura. Surely you must know by now that for a Cassadine, death is but a temporary state?
GALLERY:
AVA: Son of a...GUNS??? Paul, you naughty, naughty boy, you!
Monday, November 30, 2015
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Talkin' Turkey, Part II: Let's Get Pizza!
Dillon and Paul's experiment with a deep fryer goes awry and the Q Thanksgiving disaster tradition continues. Thus, the Qs have their annual Turkey Day pizza. At the Drakes, Patrick invites Dr. Maddox, who has an awkward encounter with his patient, Anna. At Alexis and Julian's brand spankin' new lake house, the Davis girls, minus Sam, Julian, Leo and Olivia, and Ava and Avery put aside differences and partake of a ginormous feast. Laura has a quiet Thanksgiving with Lulu and Rocco. Dante is joined by Valerie and they continue a rather disturbing tradition.
Q MANSION
DILLON: Get ready for some deep-fried turkey. Dad and I are going do some much-belated father-son bonding with a deep fryer and whip up a Q Thanksgiving feast for the ages.
TRACY: This can't end well.
PAUL: I think I'm insulted! Who says a district attorney can't fry a turkey and mash some yams?
MONICA: The same people who know exactly what will happen when Lucy holds a football for Charlie Brown to kick.
MICHAEL: Where's Jason? I want to tell him he's going to be a great-uncle.
SABRINA: (to herself) I hope Carrrrrrrrrrlos isn't still camped out on my couch.
PATRICK & SAM'S HOUSE
PATRICK: Guess who's coming to Thanksgiving Dinner? The new town shrink, that's who. Dr. Andre Maddox, meet the fam. My daughter Emma, my fiancee Sam, Sam's boy Danny, and my ex mother-in-law Anna.
ANNA: (to herself) Thanksgiving with my shrink. Awkward much? (to Dr. Maddox) Nice to meet you.
DR. MADDOX: (to himself) So much for professional distance from my patients. (to Anna) Nice to meet you too.
EMMA: Hi Andre. I'm Emma. Are you single?
DR. MADDOX: I tend to like my women a little older.
EMMA: You like older women? You should date my grandma!
ALEXIS & JULIAN'S LAKE HOUSE
JULIAN: Who wants Italian food for Thanksgiving?
ALEXIS: The Quartermaines? They always end up ordering pizza.
OLIVIA: I come bearing chicken parm ...and cannolis. I'm never without cannolis.
BABY UNCLE LEO: (translated from Baby) Have I been here before? Is this guy my daddy? I'm so confused.
MOLLY: Mom, do I have to be nice to Julian because it's Thanksgiving?
ALEXIS: No. You have to be nice to Julian because it's Thursday. And tomorrow you'll have to be nice to him because it's Friday. And on Saturday...
MOLLY: I get it, mom. I get it.
KRISTINA: Well, he did get you this amazing brand spankin' new house.
MOLLY: Only because he blew the other one up.
KRISTINA: You have a point.
ALEXIS: To be fair, Julian didn't blow that house up himself. Luke did when he was being inhabited by the evil ghost of his horrible, bigoted, abusive father.
METROCOURT
AVERY: (translated from Baby) Thanksgiving in a HOTEL RESTAURANT? Seriously, Mom?
AVA: You have a point, sweetie. Let's crash your uncle Julian's Thanksgiving at that brand spankin' new lake house he bought Alexis.
LULU: I did it. I dropped the separation papers off at Dante's.
LAURA: And? Did he sign them?
ROCCO: Where's Daddy?
LULU: No, but he didn't rip them to shreds like I secretly wanted him to either.
LAURA: How very passive-aggressive of you, honey. Do YOU want to separate from Dante?
LULU: I despise his cheating cheaterface, but I also still love him. I'M SO CONFUSED!
LAURA: You can always un-separate from him.
LULU: That's what I'll do. I'll have Alexis file the un-separation papers and I'll surprise him.
DANTE'S APARTMENT
DANTE: How did I know it would be you, Valerie? Oh, yeah, it's a holiday and Lulu and I are on the outs.
VALERIE: I kinda wanted to make you Thanksgiving dinner because, let's face it, where the hell else was I going to go? Aunt Bobbie and Carly are with your dad. Lulu hates me. I barely know Lucas. Wyndemere is still creepy. That leaves you.
DANTE: Like football?
VALERIE: Hell yeah. Go Bills! Someone has to beat the Patriots.
DANTE: Stick around. Just to watch the game. It's no fun yelling at the TV and hating on all things Boston sports by myself.
Q MANSION
MICHAEL: Jason, you came! Great news! You're going to be a great-uncle. Me and Sabs are having a brand new Q.
JASON: Congrats! At least this will be one member of this Q family that I will actually remember.
MICHAEL: No luck there?
JASON: Helena bought the farm before she could tell me anything of use. She was too busy cursing Sam and arguing with Elizabeth to fill me in the first however many years of my life I've completely forgotten.
JAKE: The Empress is dead? (drops crystal decoration that somewhat resembles The Ice Princess)
LIZ: What the? Jake, are you okay?
SPIRIT OF HELENA: Fear not, my child. Cassadines do not die. Death is for peasants. The Empress lives. My silly grandson merely laced my tea with a little something-something to make me sleep for awhile.
SAM & PATRICK'S HOUSE
EMMA: I'm going to play Tiny Tim in A Christmas Carol. It's about this guy Scrooge who hates Christmas and these ghosts that show him his future and make him a nicer person. It's kind of like the Grinch, but more old-timey and stuff.
ANNA: (to herself) Speaking of ghosts, is Carrrrrrrrrrrrlos still a ghost or is he alive and I'm off the hook?
DR. MADDOX: (to himself) Ms. Devane has unresolved ghost issues. Maybe she should skip this play. I think she just turned a shade of green.
ALEXIS & JULIAN'S LAKEHOUSE
AVA: Would you deny this adorable baby a cozy family Thanksgiving dinner?
OLIVIA: Um, yeah. (slams door in Ava's face)
AVA: (rings doorbell again) If at first you don't succeed, Avery, you need to try, try again.
JULIAN: Come on in, sis. Hey there, Avery.
AVERY: Baby!
JULIAN: This is your baby cousin Leo.
AVERY: Baby!
KRISTINA: Hi Avery. I'm your big sister Kristina. Your mommy won't let you see your daddy, who's my daddy too.
AVERY: BABY BABY BABY!
BABY UNCLE LEO: (Translated from Baby) What's a cousin? Does that mean I'm her uncle too? I'M SO CONFUSED!!!!
Q MANSION
SAM: OMG, Jason, what are YOU doing here?
JASON: They tell me I'm a Quartermaine and this is where the Quartermaines live.
DANNY: DADDY!!!!
LIZ: Sam, can we, like, try not to hate each other too much on Thanksgiving?
SAM: I don't know, Elizabeth. Can we?
LIZ: Hey, at least I tried to not mention the cranberry sauce stain on your shirt.
JAKE: Hey Danny, my grandma told me a secret about our daddy.
TURKEY FRIER: BZZZZZZZTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSS crackle crackle crackle. Who needs electricity anyway?
EVERYONE AT THE Q MANSION: What the????
PAUL: Sorry guys. We lost an argument with a turkey and the deep fryer blew a fuse.
DILLON: Looks like the grid got deep fried instead.
JASON: I'm feeling like some pizza.
LIZ: (to herself) CRAP! He remembers the Q Thanksgiving traditions and soon he's going to remember EVERYTHING!
MONICA: Did you just REMEMBER something, Jason?
JASON: What? I was just more in a mood for pizza than turkey.
ALEXIS & JULIAN'S LAKEHOUSE
ALEXIS: Ladies, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, let's pretend not to hate each other for, I don't know, at least an hour.
AVA: I'm in if Italian Mama is in.
OLIVIA: It's probably not a good idea to go Real Housewives in front of the babies.
AVERY: BABY!
OLIVIA: Let's all join hands and bless the turkey.
AVERY: NO!
JULIAN: Hey, it's okay Avery. We're open to all spiritual beliefs here, right Baby Mama?
DANTE'S APARTMENT
DANTE: Don't look now, but your team might just actually win this game.
VALERIE: OMG! Touchdown!
DANTE: It's a holiday. Lulu served me separation papers so I won't technically be cheating if we have sex.
VALERIE: I'll have holiday sex with you anytime. And we don't have to wait another 4 months because Christmas is just around the corner.
Q MANSION
MONICA: Pizza's here.
DANNY: Let me at it!
TRACY: First we sing, then we eat.
EVERYONE AT THE Q MANSION: We gather together...
JASON: Is this sing along and pizza shindig a thing every year?
MICHAEL: Pretty much.
Q MANSION
DILLON: Get ready for some deep-fried turkey. Dad and I are going do some much-belated father-son bonding with a deep fryer and whip up a Q Thanksgiving feast for the ages.
TRACY: This can't end well.
PAUL: I think I'm insulted! Who says a district attorney can't fry a turkey and mash some yams?
MONICA: The same people who know exactly what will happen when Lucy holds a football for Charlie Brown to kick.
MICHAEL: Where's Jason? I want to tell him he's going to be a great-uncle.
SABRINA: (to herself) I hope Carrrrrrrrrrlos isn't still camped out on my couch.
PATRICK & SAM'S HOUSE
PATRICK: Guess who's coming to Thanksgiving Dinner? The new town shrink, that's who. Dr. Andre Maddox, meet the fam. My daughter Emma, my fiancee Sam, Sam's boy Danny, and my ex mother-in-law Anna.
ANNA: (to herself) Thanksgiving with my shrink. Awkward much? (to Dr. Maddox) Nice to meet you.
DR. MADDOX: (to himself) So much for professional distance from my patients. (to Anna) Nice to meet you too.
EMMA: Hi Andre. I'm Emma. Are you single?
DR. MADDOX: I tend to like my women a little older.
EMMA: You like older women? You should date my grandma!
ALEXIS & JULIAN'S LAKE HOUSE
JULIAN: Who wants Italian food for Thanksgiving?
ALEXIS: The Quartermaines? They always end up ordering pizza.
OLIVIA: I come bearing chicken parm ...and cannolis. I'm never without cannolis.
BABY UNCLE LEO: (translated from Baby) Have I been here before? Is this guy my daddy? I'm so confused.
MOLLY: Mom, do I have to be nice to Julian because it's Thanksgiving?
ALEXIS: No. You have to be nice to Julian because it's Thursday. And tomorrow you'll have to be nice to him because it's Friday. And on Saturday...
MOLLY: I get it, mom. I get it.
KRISTINA: Well, he did get you this amazing brand spankin' new house.
MOLLY: Only because he blew the other one up.
KRISTINA: You have a point.
ALEXIS: To be fair, Julian didn't blow that house up himself. Luke did when he was being inhabited by the evil ghost of his horrible, bigoted, abusive father.
METROCOURT
AVERY: (translated from Baby) Thanksgiving in a HOTEL RESTAURANT? Seriously, Mom?
AVA: You have a point, sweetie. Let's crash your uncle Julian's Thanksgiving at that brand spankin' new lake house he bought Alexis.
LULU: I did it. I dropped the separation papers off at Dante's.
LAURA: And? Did he sign them?
ROCCO: Where's Daddy?
LULU: No, but he didn't rip them to shreds like I secretly wanted him to either.
LAURA: How very passive-aggressive of you, honey. Do YOU want to separate from Dante?
LULU: I despise his cheating cheaterface, but I also still love him. I'M SO CONFUSED!
LAURA: You can always un-separate from him.
LULU: That's what I'll do. I'll have Alexis file the un-separation papers and I'll surprise him.
DANTE'S APARTMENT
DANTE: How did I know it would be you, Valerie? Oh, yeah, it's a holiday and Lulu and I are on the outs.
VALERIE: I kinda wanted to make you Thanksgiving dinner because, let's face it, where the hell else was I going to go? Aunt Bobbie and Carly are with your dad. Lulu hates me. I barely know Lucas. Wyndemere is still creepy. That leaves you.
DANTE: Like football?
VALERIE: Hell yeah. Go Bills! Someone has to beat the Patriots.
DANTE: Stick around. Just to watch the game. It's no fun yelling at the TV and hating on all things Boston sports by myself.
Q MANSION
MICHAEL: Jason, you came! Great news! You're going to be a great-uncle. Me and Sabs are having a brand new Q.
JASON: Congrats! At least this will be one member of this Q family that I will actually remember.
MICHAEL: No luck there?
JASON: Helena bought the farm before she could tell me anything of use. She was too busy cursing Sam and arguing with Elizabeth to fill me in the first however many years of my life I've completely forgotten.
JAKE: The Empress is dead? (drops crystal decoration that somewhat resembles The Ice Princess)
LIZ: What the? Jake, are you okay?
SPIRIT OF HELENA: Fear not, my child. Cassadines do not die. Death is for peasants. The Empress lives. My silly grandson merely laced my tea with a little something-something to make me sleep for awhile.
SAM & PATRICK'S HOUSE
EMMA: I'm going to play Tiny Tim in A Christmas Carol. It's about this guy Scrooge who hates Christmas and these ghosts that show him his future and make him a nicer person. It's kind of like the Grinch, but more old-timey and stuff.
ANNA: (to herself) Speaking of ghosts, is Carrrrrrrrrrrrlos still a ghost or is he alive and I'm off the hook?
DR. MADDOX: (to himself) Ms. Devane has unresolved ghost issues. Maybe she should skip this play. I think she just turned a shade of green.
ALEXIS & JULIAN'S LAKEHOUSE
AVA: Would you deny this adorable baby a cozy family Thanksgiving dinner?
OLIVIA: Um, yeah. (slams door in Ava's face)
AVA: (rings doorbell again) If at first you don't succeed, Avery, you need to try, try again.
JULIAN: Come on in, sis. Hey there, Avery.
AVERY: Baby!
JULIAN: This is your baby cousin Leo.
AVERY: Baby!
KRISTINA: Hi Avery. I'm your big sister Kristina. Your mommy won't let you see your daddy, who's my daddy too.
AVERY: BABY BABY BABY!
BABY UNCLE LEO: (Translated from Baby) What's a cousin? Does that mean I'm her uncle too? I'M SO CONFUSED!!!!
Q MANSION
SAM: OMG, Jason, what are YOU doing here?
JASON: They tell me I'm a Quartermaine and this is where the Quartermaines live.
DANNY: DADDY!!!!
LIZ: Sam, can we, like, try not to hate each other too much on Thanksgiving?
SAM: I don't know, Elizabeth. Can we?
LIZ: Hey, at least I tried to not mention the cranberry sauce stain on your shirt.
JAKE: Hey Danny, my grandma told me a secret about our daddy.
TURKEY FRIER: BZZZZZZZTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSS crackle crackle crackle. Who needs electricity anyway?
EVERYONE AT THE Q MANSION: What the????
PAUL: Sorry guys. We lost an argument with a turkey and the deep fryer blew a fuse.
DILLON: Looks like the grid got deep fried instead.
JASON: I'm feeling like some pizza.
LIZ: (to herself) CRAP! He remembers the Q Thanksgiving traditions and soon he's going to remember EVERYTHING!
MONICA: Did you just REMEMBER something, Jason?
JASON: What? I was just more in a mood for pizza than turkey.
ALEXIS & JULIAN'S LAKEHOUSE
ALEXIS: Ladies, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, let's pretend not to hate each other for, I don't know, at least an hour.
AVA: I'm in if Italian Mama is in.
OLIVIA: It's probably not a good idea to go Real Housewives in front of the babies.
AVERY: BABY!
OLIVIA: Let's all join hands and bless the turkey.
AVERY: NO!
JULIAN: Hey, it's okay Avery. We're open to all spiritual beliefs here, right Baby Mama?
DANTE'S APARTMENT
DANTE: Don't look now, but your team might just actually win this game.
VALERIE: OMG! Touchdown!
DANTE: It's a holiday. Lulu served me separation papers so I won't technically be cheating if we have sex.
VALERIE: I'll have holiday sex with you anytime. And we don't have to wait another 4 months because Christmas is just around the corner.
Q MANSION
MONICA: Pizza's here.
DANNY: Let me at it!
TRACY: First we sing, then we eat.
EVERYONE AT THE Q MANSION: We gather together...
JASON: Is this sing along and pizza shindig a thing every year?
MICHAEL: Pretty much.
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Talkin' Turkey, Part I
I got ALL THE FEELS watching the Corinthos family Thanksgiving, especially Sonny & Morgan. Big props to Maurice Benard and Bryan Craig.
Sam comes home from Cassadine Island to reaffirm her love for Patrick. Carrrrrrrrrrrlos insists Sabrina's baby is his. Morgan asks a favor of Carly. Ava visits Kiki at the PCPD. Kristina is back in town for Thanksgiving. Dante and Lulu argue and go their separate ways for the holiday. Maxie and Nathan head to Portland to see Georgie.
PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE
SAM: I'm back and I'm so over Jason 2.0. Do you still want to marry me?
PATRICK: Um, yeah, but what happened in Greece?
SAM: Let's see...I got into a fight with Elizabeth on the plane, Helena cursed me, then she died, Jason still doesn't remember being Jason and I'm getting a serious friendzone vibe from him.
PATRICK: Awesome! Next time you're having doubts about our relationship, I'll just put you on a plane and send you out of the country.
MORGAN'S HOSPITAL ROOM
MORGAN: Who knew going on a fake fishing trip would make me end up in the hospital? Maybe it was the fake hunting that did it.
SONNY: Look, son, I know you hate being here. Trust me, I know the feeling. But you're gonna get some help here. There's a new shrink here who can help you figure out why you were shooting imaginary wabbits.
MORGAN: Hey Mom, I know Kiki ran you off the road and nearly killed you, but can you slip her a Get Out Of Jail Free card for me? She knows she screwed the pooch on Halloween and she didn't even touch the vodka we found at the cabin.
CARLY: Seeing that she helped us put you in this place, I'm kinda over the being run off the road thing. Besides, it was not like that wedding was going to happen anyway. I'll do it.
AVA'S PENTHOUSE
PAUL: Newsflash, Ava. Your daughter's been cuffed.
AVA: That's ridiculous, Paul! She's only a year old!
PAUL: Wrong daughter, Sweet Lips.
AVA: Oh, you mean Kiki? What did she do?
PAUL: She ran Sonny's wife off the road while hammered.
AVA: So, let her off the hook.
PAUL: No can do. Suspicious minds.
SABRINA'S APARTMENT
CARLOS: Buenos dias, Querrrrrrrrrrrrida!
SABRINA: OMG, Carrrrrrrrrrrrlos! I dreamed you were alive!
CARLOS: Am I the best lookin' zombie you ever seen?
SABRINA: I hate to be rude, but you kinda can't be here. Remember Felix, my bestie? He still lives here and this place isn't big enough for the three of us.
CARLOS: So, let's leave the country together and raise our little Carrrrrrrrrrrrlos Jr or Carrrrrrrrrrrla together. Come on, Zabrrrrrrrrrrrrrina!
SABRINA: The baby is Michael's. I hope.
PCPD
JORDAN: Detective West, leave Kiki to me. Your sister is her fake sorta mother which would make you her fake sorta uncle.
NATHAN: Isn't everybody fake sorta related in this town?
AVA: Kiki! Mommy's here.
KIKI: Go away!
CARLY: Let Kiki go. I'm so over that accident.
JORDAN: That's up to the D.A.
PAUL: Uh...OKAY.
KIKI: OMG, Thank you, Carly!
AVA: Come have turkey with me and your adorable little sister who has forgotten what you look like.
KIKI: So, Carly, how's Morgan? I hope they didn't put him in a rubber room.
CARLY: Come see for yourself.
KIKI: Totally.
DANTE & LULU'S APARTMENT
LULU: UGH, this place reeks of CHEATING! I'm going to grab some more clothes for me and Rocco and get the hell out of here.
MAXIE: Yeah, that's probably a good idea.
LULU: OMG! VALERIE left her LIPSTICK in the BATHROOM! They are SO still doing the nasty.
MAXIE: Hello? I GAVE you that lipstick.
DANTE: (picking up separation papers) What are these?
LULU: What do they LOOK like, CHEATER?
DANTE: So you're lawyering up already.
LULU: We're HISTORY, Dante. Those papers just make it official.
MORGAN'S HOSPITAL ROOM
DR. MADDOX: Hey there, Morgan. I'm the new shrink in town. Welcome to your new home until we can figure out what's wrong with you.
MORGAN: Here? How long are you going to make me stay in this hospital?
DR. MADDOX: We need to run tests, you know, like ink blots and all. If you continue to see wabbits, it may give us some insight into what we're facing here.
MORGAN: I gotcha. Do you think I've got that bipolar thing my dad has?
DR. MADDOX: Maybe, maybe not. Hence, the tests.
MORGAN: Why else would I dress up like the Gorton's fisherman and jump in ice cold water?
SABRINA'S APARTMENT
MICHAEL: Sabrina, are you ready for some Q Thanksgiving pizza?
SABRINA: Just a minute. (to Carrrrrrrrlos) Carrrrrrrrrrlos, you have to hide until I leave, then get the heck out of my apartment.
CARLOS: But...but...Querrrrrrrrrrida...
SABRINA: GO!
AVA'S PENTHOUSE
AVA: Thank you for setting Kiki free. And here you told me you couldn't do me any favors.
PAUL: I did it for Carly.
AVA: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAT?
PAUL: I have to suck up to her so she doesn't think I'm sniffing after Sonny's territory.
AVA: When you put it that way...Say how about sharing some turkey with me and Avery?
PAUL: Thanks, but no thanks. I have to make an appearance at the Q family Thanksgiving and have at least one slice of pizza.
MORGAN'S HOSPITAL ROOM
MORGAN: Sorry I went all nutsy cuckoo, Dad.
SONNY: I know the feeling, son. Maybe you have bipolar or maybe you just got the Corinthos barware-smashin' temper, but you mother and I have your back. We're gonna get through this.
MORGAN: Thanks, Dad. I'm not even all that pissed that I'm here. How weird is that?
DANTE & LULU'S APARTMENT
DANTE: We can be fixed, Lulu, can't we?
LULU: Ever see a vase after it is smashed, then glued back together? Our marriage would be that vase. But you can still see Rocco dress up as an Italian pilgrim.
DANTE: Yeah, well, there's that.
LULU: Happy Thanksgiving. But not really because you cheated with my cousin.
DANTE: Happy Thanksgiving. I guess.
PCPD
NATHAN: Workaholic much?
MAXIE: The fashion world never sleeps, Nathan. It has no time for turkey. Have you ever seen a turkey on a runway?
NATHAN: Hey, I got a little stuffed turkey for Georgie. I guess it doesn't get the fashionista seal of approval, but she's what, 2?
MAXIE: You are the BEST SEXY COP EVER! Stupid teleporter is in the shop so we actually have to FLY to Portland.
MORGAN'S HOSPITAL ROOM
BOBBIE: I come bearing Thanksgiving dinner!
MORGAN: As long as it wasn't made in this hospital, I'm all over it.
SONNY: Ain't family great? I'm getting ALL THE FAMILY FEELS now!
KRISTINA, CARLY, KIKI, MORGAN, & BOBBIE: So are we!
Sam comes home from Cassadine Island to reaffirm her love for Patrick. Carrrrrrrrrrrlos insists Sabrina's baby is his. Morgan asks a favor of Carly. Ava visits Kiki at the PCPD. Kristina is back in town for Thanksgiving. Dante and Lulu argue and go their separate ways for the holiday. Maxie and Nathan head to Portland to see Georgie.
PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE
SAM: I'm back and I'm so over Jason 2.0. Do you still want to marry me?
PATRICK: Um, yeah, but what happened in Greece?
SAM: Let's see...I got into a fight with Elizabeth on the plane, Helena cursed me, then she died, Jason still doesn't remember being Jason and I'm getting a serious friendzone vibe from him.
PATRICK: Awesome! Next time you're having doubts about our relationship, I'll just put you on a plane and send you out of the country.
MORGAN'S HOSPITAL ROOM
MORGAN: Who knew going on a fake fishing trip would make me end up in the hospital? Maybe it was the fake hunting that did it.
SONNY: Look, son, I know you hate being here. Trust me, I know the feeling. But you're gonna get some help here. There's a new shrink here who can help you figure out why you were shooting imaginary wabbits.
MORGAN: Hey Mom, I know Kiki ran you off the road and nearly killed you, but can you slip her a Get Out Of Jail Free card for me? She knows she screwed the pooch on Halloween and she didn't even touch the vodka we found at the cabin.
CARLY: Seeing that she helped us put you in this place, I'm kinda over the being run off the road thing. Besides, it was not like that wedding was going to happen anyway. I'll do it.
AVA'S PENTHOUSE
PAUL: Newsflash, Ava. Your daughter's been cuffed.
AVA: That's ridiculous, Paul! She's only a year old!
PAUL: Wrong daughter, Sweet Lips.
AVA: Oh, you mean Kiki? What did she do?
PAUL: She ran Sonny's wife off the road while hammered.
AVA: So, let her off the hook.
PAUL: No can do. Suspicious minds.
SABRINA'S APARTMENT
CARLOS: Buenos dias, Querrrrrrrrrrrrida!
SABRINA: OMG, Carrrrrrrrrrrrlos! I dreamed you were alive!
CARLOS: Am I the best lookin' zombie you ever seen?
SABRINA: I hate to be rude, but you kinda can't be here. Remember Felix, my bestie? He still lives here and this place isn't big enough for the three of us.
CARLOS: So, let's leave the country together and raise our little Carrrrrrrrrrrrlos Jr or Carrrrrrrrrrrla together. Come on, Zabrrrrrrrrrrrrrina!
SABRINA: The baby is Michael's. I hope.
PCPD
JORDAN: Detective West, leave Kiki to me. Your sister is her fake sorta mother which would make you her fake sorta uncle.
NATHAN: Isn't everybody fake sorta related in this town?
AVA: Kiki! Mommy's here.
KIKI: Go away!
CARLY: Let Kiki go. I'm so over that accident.
JORDAN: That's up to the D.A.
PAUL: Uh...OKAY.
KIKI: OMG, Thank you, Carly!
AVA: Come have turkey with me and your adorable little sister who has forgotten what you look like.
KIKI: So, Carly, how's Morgan? I hope they didn't put him in a rubber room.
CARLY: Come see for yourself.
KIKI: Totally.
DANTE & LULU'S APARTMENT
LULU: UGH, this place reeks of CHEATING! I'm going to grab some more clothes for me and Rocco and get the hell out of here.
MAXIE: Yeah, that's probably a good idea.
LULU: OMG! VALERIE left her LIPSTICK in the BATHROOM! They are SO still doing the nasty.
MAXIE: Hello? I GAVE you that lipstick.
DANTE: (picking up separation papers) What are these?
LULU: What do they LOOK like, CHEATER?
DANTE: So you're lawyering up already.
LULU: We're HISTORY, Dante. Those papers just make it official.
MORGAN'S HOSPITAL ROOM
DR. MADDOX: Hey there, Morgan. I'm the new shrink in town. Welcome to your new home until we can figure out what's wrong with you.
MORGAN: Here? How long are you going to make me stay in this hospital?
DR. MADDOX: We need to run tests, you know, like ink blots and all. If you continue to see wabbits, it may give us some insight into what we're facing here.
MORGAN: I gotcha. Do you think I've got that bipolar thing my dad has?
DR. MADDOX: Maybe, maybe not. Hence, the tests.
MORGAN: Why else would I dress up like the Gorton's fisherman and jump in ice cold water?
SABRINA'S APARTMENT
MICHAEL: Sabrina, are you ready for some Q Thanksgiving pizza?
SABRINA: Just a minute. (to Carrrrrrrrlos) Carrrrrrrrrrlos, you have to hide until I leave, then get the heck out of my apartment.
CARLOS: But...but...Querrrrrrrrrrida...
SABRINA: GO!
AVA'S PENTHOUSE
AVA: Thank you for setting Kiki free. And here you told me you couldn't do me any favors.
PAUL: I did it for Carly.
AVA: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAT?
PAUL: I have to suck up to her so she doesn't think I'm sniffing after Sonny's territory.
AVA: When you put it that way...Say how about sharing some turkey with me and Avery?
PAUL: Thanks, but no thanks. I have to make an appearance at the Q family Thanksgiving and have at least one slice of pizza.
MORGAN'S HOSPITAL ROOM
MORGAN: Sorry I went all nutsy cuckoo, Dad.
SONNY: I know the feeling, son. Maybe you have bipolar or maybe you just got the Corinthos barware-smashin' temper, but you mother and I have your back. We're gonna get through this.
MORGAN: Thanks, Dad. I'm not even all that pissed that I'm here. How weird is that?
DANTE & LULU'S APARTMENT
DANTE: We can be fixed, Lulu, can't we?
LULU: Ever see a vase after it is smashed, then glued back together? Our marriage would be that vase. But you can still see Rocco dress up as an Italian pilgrim.
DANTE: Yeah, well, there's that.
LULU: Happy Thanksgiving. But not really because you cheated with my cousin.
DANTE: Happy Thanksgiving. I guess.
PCPD
NATHAN: Workaholic much?
MAXIE: The fashion world never sleeps, Nathan. It has no time for turkey. Have you ever seen a turkey on a runway?
NATHAN: Hey, I got a little stuffed turkey for Georgie. I guess it doesn't get the fashionista seal of approval, but she's what, 2?
MAXIE: You are the BEST SEXY COP EVER! Stupid teleporter is in the shop so we actually have to FLY to Portland.
MORGAN'S HOSPITAL ROOM
BOBBIE: I come bearing Thanksgiving dinner!
MORGAN: As long as it wasn't made in this hospital, I'm all over it.
SONNY: Ain't family great? I'm getting ALL THE FAMILY FEELS now!
KRISTINA, CARLY, KIKI, MORGAN, & BOBBIE: So are we!
Monday, November 23, 2015
You Can't Kill A Cassadine! You Just CAN'T!!!!!
So Helena supposedly kicks the bucket and punches her ticket to whatever circle of hell Mikkos is in for freezing the world. Except she's a Cassadine and this is Port Chuckles and Cassadines specialize in death-simulating drugs, so yeah... It was great to see Constance Towers again and I'm gonna miss her something fierce like I always do when Helena dies/gets sent to prison/exiled to Antarctica or Greece.
Back in The Chuckles or thereabouts, Morgan's getting nuttier by the minute and Kiki's scared out of her wits, so she calls Michael for help. Anna 'fesses up to the very handsome Dr. Maddox about offing Carrrrrrrrrrrlos, only Carrrrrrrrrrlos isn't quite as dead has he seems. Because Port Chuckles... Sonny and Epiphany have a heart-to-heart at the gym. Sabrina nearly spills the beans to Michael about Carrrrrrrrlos possibly being the baby's father, then gets a visitor who knocks her off her feet.
CASSADINE ISLAND
JASON: So, am I gonna get my memory back or what?
HELENA: How should I know? I cannot take credit for erasing your memory. The driver of that SUV who saw fit to use you as a speed bump was responsible for that. I really should send said driver a Thank You card. He, or she, made it all the easier for me to install your conditioning.
JASON: Install? Am I just one big Ipad to you?
HELENA: Ah, Mr. Morgan, you are most amusing!
SAM: Come on crazy step-granny. Just give Jason his memories back so we can get the hell out of this house of horrors.
HELENA: Would you like another curse, you bastard of a bastard?
CABIN
MORGAN: Them cops are after us, Kiki! THEY'RE AFTER US! Imma go skeer 'em away!
KIKI: Step AWAY from the Red Bull, Morgan.
MORGAN: (gun in hand, goes out the front door and starts shooting) Oooo I hate dem wabbits! BANG!
KIKI: OMG! He shot someone!
MORGAN: (comes back into the cabin) Calm down, it was just a wabbit!
KIKI: You murdered a bunny rabbit????
MORGAN: I hear more noises. We gots to keel dem for real dis time! (leaves again)
KIKI: (over phone) Michael, I need your help. Morgan is Looney Tunes. Literally. He actually said "wabbit".
DR. MADDOX'S OFFICE
DR. MADDOX: What is it you are really running from Ms. Devane?
ANNA: I told you, the ghost of Carrrrrrrlos--I mean my grief for Duke--I mean the creepy new D.A.--I mean...DAMMIT, I KILLED CARRRRRRRRRRRRLOS!
DR. MADDOX: Ding ding ding! Do we have a breakthrough or what?
ANNA: You're not going to rat me out to the police force I used to run now, are you?
DR. MADDOX: I'm playing the confidentiality card on this one. After all, if you can't trust your shrink, who can you trust? Do you trust me, Ms. Devane?
ANNA: I'm getting there.
DR. MADDOX: I guess that's progress.
SABRINA'S APARTMENT
MICHAEL: Being a dad is going to be so awesome. I've already had Brand Spankin' New Q onesies specially made for him, or her.
SABRINA: Um, about that. Michael, I...uh...there's something...(Michael's phone rings)
MICHAEL: (picks up phone) Kiki? What about Morgan? He's turned into Sylvester the Cat and he scratched you? I'll be right there! (to Sabrina) Sorry, Sabs. I have to go. My brother's gone cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!
GYM
CARLY: I think Morgan's cray cray dial is ratcheting up to some dangerous levels, Sonny. I tried to get him to see a shrink, but he wasn't having it.
MICHAEL: We gotta go find Morgan, Mom! Kiki called and said he's off his rocker.
SONNY: Where the hell is he?
MICHAEL: Somewhere thataway of Rte 31. I'm on my way there.
CARLY: I'm coming with.
SONNY: What am I supposed to do? Just sit back in this GODDAMN WHEELCHAIR and wait for my kid to self-destruct????
CASSADINE ISLAND
HELENA: Mr. Morgan, why do you bother with these two tedious women? Your wife is a bastard's bastard and your fiancee is an insipid trollop.
NIKOLAS: (to himself, while looking at his watch) What's taking this damn poison so long. Hurry up and croak, grandmother, before you out me and Liz for knowing about Jason.
JASON: Still waiting for answers, Hells Bells.
HELENA: Why of course you are, Mr. Morgan. I shall...I shall tell...you...every ---
JASON: Helena?
NIKOLAS: Grandmother?
SAM: Very funny, step-granny. We get it. You Punk'd us. You can wake up now.
LIZ: I know CPR!
DOC: Yeah, she's a goner.
DEAD HELENA: Really? You PLEBES think you can kill a Cassadine? Your naivete is most amusing.
CABIN:
MORGAN: All that wabbit-hunting has turned me on, Tweety. Let's make like the birds and the bees.
KIKI: OMG, Morgan! You are more bonkers than Franco and Nina COMBINED!
CARLY: Morgan, what the hell do you think you're doing?
MORGAN: Mom? Who called Mom? Mikey? What are YOU doing here?
KIKI: Sorry, Morgan. I had to tell them you flipped your lid because you were scaring the crap out of me.
CARLY: You need help, Morgan.
MORGAN: I ain't seein' no stinkin' SHRINK, Mom. I have converted to SCIENTOLOGY!
MICHAEL: Come on, Morgan. That's BS and you know it. We're here to help you. This is an INTERVENTION.
MORGAN: Nobody intervenes on THE CAPTAIN. NO-BODY!
GYM
SONNY: It's all my fault Morgan's gone bananas. I gave him this bipolar thing to begin with.
EPIPHANY: It's not like you had a choice. Just like I didn't have a choice when I lost Stan.
SONNY: Yeah, I'm sorry about that, Epiphany. If I lost one of my kids, they'd have to put me in a rubber room.
CASSADINE ISLAND
JASON: You killed her, Nikky. You killed your own grandmother so she wouldn't rat you out.
NIKOLAS: Since when did YOU give a crap about my grandmother? Since you wanted something from her? It's like you're a totally different person now, Jason. You might as well be Jake Doe.
JASON: Dem's fightin' words! (attacks Nikolas)
LIZ: Come on, Jason. Let's go home and forget about remembering.
NIKOLAS: So, grandmother, how did you find your tea? A little strong for you? Don't you hate when unfortunate peasants put a little something-something in there that you didn't ask for?
DEAD HELENA: Poisoning Granny wasn't the wisest move you've ever made, my darling. You know how cross I get! I can still curse you from the afterlife, or when I come back for another visit on this dreary planet. Ta-ta, prodigal grandson.
PIER 54
ANNA: Carrrrrrrrrlos? Why don't you give this haunting me thing a rest? I already told my shrink what I did to you.
SABRINA'S APARTMENT
CARLOS: Zabrrrrrrrrrrina! I'm baaaaaaaaack! You'll never guess who I met on my trip to the '70s! Time travel heals all gunshot wounds to the chest.
SABRINA: Carrrrrr--(faints)
Back in The Chuckles or thereabouts, Morgan's getting nuttier by the minute and Kiki's scared out of her wits, so she calls Michael for help. Anna 'fesses up to the very handsome Dr. Maddox about offing Carrrrrrrrrrrlos, only Carrrrrrrrrrlos isn't quite as dead has he seems. Because Port Chuckles... Sonny and Epiphany have a heart-to-heart at the gym. Sabrina nearly spills the beans to Michael about Carrrrrrrrlos possibly being the baby's father, then gets a visitor who knocks her off her feet.
CASSADINE ISLAND
JASON: So, am I gonna get my memory back or what?
HELENA: How should I know? I cannot take credit for erasing your memory. The driver of that SUV who saw fit to use you as a speed bump was responsible for that. I really should send said driver a Thank You card. He, or she, made it all the easier for me to install your conditioning.
JASON: Install? Am I just one big Ipad to you?
HELENA: Ah, Mr. Morgan, you are most amusing!
SAM: Come on crazy step-granny. Just give Jason his memories back so we can get the hell out of this house of horrors.
HELENA: Would you like another curse, you bastard of a bastard?
CABIN
MORGAN: Them cops are after us, Kiki! THEY'RE AFTER US! Imma go skeer 'em away!
KIKI: Step AWAY from the Red Bull, Morgan.
MORGAN: (gun in hand, goes out the front door and starts shooting) Oooo I hate dem wabbits! BANG!
KIKI: OMG! He shot someone!
MORGAN: (comes back into the cabin) Calm down, it was just a wabbit!
KIKI: You murdered a bunny rabbit????
MORGAN: I hear more noises. We gots to keel dem for real dis time! (leaves again)
KIKI: (over phone) Michael, I need your help. Morgan is Looney Tunes. Literally. He actually said "wabbit".
DR. MADDOX'S OFFICE
DR. MADDOX: What is it you are really running from Ms. Devane?
ANNA: I told you, the ghost of Carrrrrrrlos--I mean my grief for Duke--I mean the creepy new D.A.--I mean...DAMMIT, I KILLED CARRRRRRRRRRRRLOS!
DR. MADDOX: Ding ding ding! Do we have a breakthrough or what?
ANNA: You're not going to rat me out to the police force I used to run now, are you?
DR. MADDOX: I'm playing the confidentiality card on this one. After all, if you can't trust your shrink, who can you trust? Do you trust me, Ms. Devane?
ANNA: I'm getting there.
DR. MADDOX: I guess that's progress.
SABRINA'S APARTMENT
MICHAEL: Being a dad is going to be so awesome. I've already had Brand Spankin' New Q onesies specially made for him, or her.
SABRINA: Um, about that. Michael, I...uh...there's something...(Michael's phone rings)
MICHAEL: (picks up phone) Kiki? What about Morgan? He's turned into Sylvester the Cat and he scratched you? I'll be right there! (to Sabrina) Sorry, Sabs. I have to go. My brother's gone cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!
GYM
CARLY: I think Morgan's cray cray dial is ratcheting up to some dangerous levels, Sonny. I tried to get him to see a shrink, but he wasn't having it.
MICHAEL: We gotta go find Morgan, Mom! Kiki called and said he's off his rocker.
SONNY: Where the hell is he?
MICHAEL: Somewhere thataway of Rte 31. I'm on my way there.
CARLY: I'm coming with.
SONNY: What am I supposed to do? Just sit back in this GODDAMN WHEELCHAIR and wait for my kid to self-destruct????
CASSADINE ISLAND
HELENA: Mr. Morgan, why do you bother with these two tedious women? Your wife is a bastard's bastard and your fiancee is an insipid trollop.
NIKOLAS: (to himself, while looking at his watch) What's taking this damn poison so long. Hurry up and croak, grandmother, before you out me and Liz for knowing about Jason.
JASON: Still waiting for answers, Hells Bells.
HELENA: Why of course you are, Mr. Morgan. I shall...I shall tell...you...every ---
JASON: Helena?
NIKOLAS: Grandmother?
SAM: Very funny, step-granny. We get it. You Punk'd us. You can wake up now.
LIZ: I know CPR!
DOC: Yeah, she's a goner.
DEAD HELENA: Really? You PLEBES think you can kill a Cassadine? Your naivete is most amusing.
CABIN:
MORGAN: All that wabbit-hunting has turned me on, Tweety. Let's make like the birds and the bees.
KIKI: OMG, Morgan! You are more bonkers than Franco and Nina COMBINED!
CARLY: Morgan, what the hell do you think you're doing?
MORGAN: Mom? Who called Mom? Mikey? What are YOU doing here?
KIKI: Sorry, Morgan. I had to tell them you flipped your lid because you were scaring the crap out of me.
CARLY: You need help, Morgan.
MORGAN: I ain't seein' no stinkin' SHRINK, Mom. I have converted to SCIENTOLOGY!
MICHAEL: Come on, Morgan. That's BS and you know it. We're here to help you. This is an INTERVENTION.
MORGAN: Nobody intervenes on THE CAPTAIN. NO-BODY!
GYM
SONNY: It's all my fault Morgan's gone bananas. I gave him this bipolar thing to begin with.
EPIPHANY: It's not like you had a choice. Just like I didn't have a choice when I lost Stan.
SONNY: Yeah, I'm sorry about that, Epiphany. If I lost one of my kids, they'd have to put me in a rubber room.
CASSADINE ISLAND
JASON: You killed her, Nikky. You killed your own grandmother so she wouldn't rat you out.
NIKOLAS: Since when did YOU give a crap about my grandmother? Since you wanted something from her? It's like you're a totally different person now, Jason. You might as well be Jake Doe.
JASON: Dem's fightin' words! (attacks Nikolas)
LIZ: Come on, Jason. Let's go home and forget about remembering.
NIKOLAS: So, grandmother, how did you find your tea? A little strong for you? Don't you hate when unfortunate peasants put a little something-something in there that you didn't ask for?
DEAD HELENA: Poisoning Granny wasn't the wisest move you've ever made, my darling. You know how cross I get! I can still curse you from the afterlife, or when I come back for another visit on this dreary planet. Ta-ta, prodigal grandson.
PIER 54
ANNA: Carrrrrrrrrlos? Why don't you give this haunting me thing a rest? I already told my shrink what I did to you.
SABRINA'S APARTMENT
CARLOS: Zabrrrrrrrrrrina! I'm baaaaaaaaack! You'll never guess who I met on my trip to the '70s! Time travel heals all gunshot wounds to the chest.
SABRINA: Carrrrrr--(faints)
Friday, November 20, 2015
I CURSE You!
Oxygen tank be damned, Helena can still deliver a curse like nobody else. Sam is on the receiving end when she taunts the bedridden, but quite talkative Queen of The Damned. Franco gets passive-aggressive with Nina when she rats out Kiki to her cop brother Nathan. Morgan's cray-cray dial is ratcheting up to disturbing levels as he and Kiki escape to a cabin in the woods. Carly talks to Patrick about Sam. Epiphany takes a wheelchair-bound Sonny to his boxing gym.
CASSADINE ISLAND
JASON: Start talking, lady. Gimme back my memories NOW!
HELENA: So impatient, Mr. Morgan! Here I am basking in all of this attention and you want me to hurry it along as if you are faced with the overwhelming urge to relieve yourself?
SAM: That's Cassadine for "Whatsamatter? You have to go pee or something?"
HELENA: Samantha Morgan, I'd thank you to refrain from speaking such vulgarities, however far removed your bastard branch is from the true Cassadine family tree.
PCPD
NINA: Kiki did it.
NATHAN: And I'm Jabba The Hutt. Come on, sis. It was Franco's car. Franco did it. Case closed.
NINA: Hello? Kiki LIVES with us. She swiped Franco's keys when she was blotto and drove to the Haunted Star. Right, Franco?
FRANCO: Sorry. My hearing aid's not on.
NINA: (shouting) I SAID KIKI DID IT AND YOU'RE INNOCENT, FRANCO. IN-NO-CENT!
FRANCO: Je ne parle pas l'anglais. Je m'appelle Francois. Comment allez-vous? (Translation: I don't speak English. My name is Francois. How are you?)
CABIN
MORGAN: Are you ready, Kiki? Are you ready to go fishin' and huntin' and swimmin' and skiin', and hikin', kayakin' with Captain Morgan!
KIKI: Red bull much, Captain?
MORGAN: Come on, Keeks! You'll never know the thrill of catching the big one until you try.
KIKI: Whose place is this anyway?
MORGAN: You know my dad. His mob money has bought him houses even I don't know about. Maybe this is one of them.
HOSPITAL
CARLY: Distracted much, Patrick?
PATRICK: Sam's off chasin' Jason in Greece.
CARLY: Wait, Jason's in GREECE? What's he doing there, trying to strangle his lost memories out of Helena?
PATRICK: Pretty much. And if Helena coughs them up, then I can kiss my life with Sam goodbye.
CARLY: If he was going to jump on a plane to another country, why didn't he invite ME????
GYM
SONNY: What is my wheelchair-bound ass doing here?
EPIPHANY: Ever heard of a field trip?
SONNY: Is making me depressed supposed to be therapeutic?
EPIPHANY: We came here to teach you how to FIGHT because obviously you've forgotten.
CASSADINE ISLAND
SAM: Are you JEALOUS because your beloved Mikkos knocked my grandmother up with my mom because he didn't feel like climbing into bed with YOU?
HELENA: I CURSE YOU, SAMANTHA MORGAN!
JASON: Whoa, Hells Bells. Don't go cursing my supposed wife-turned-adventure buddy!
HELENA: My my! It appears our circus has encountered some rather tedious sideshows.
LIZ: Helena, you're a frail, dying baddie hooked up to oxygen. Save your last few breaths and let us all go.
HELENA: Elizabeth Webber, you are an insipid little trollop who is incapable of comprehending what I am about to reveal to Mr. Morgan. AFTER I partake of my afternoon tea. Nikolas, darling, I must have my tea at once.
PCPD
NATHAN: Well, look what we have here. Sis, you were right. It was Kiki behind the wheel.
FRANCO: Ever heard of Halloween? I was feeling groovy so I broke out my blond wig and bellbottoms and dressed up like Marcia Brady.
NINA: I never cared for Marcia. I was more of a Jan. What do you think about Jan, Franco?
FRANCO: I'm all about Marcia. She would never throw Cindy under the bus like Jan would.
NINA: Marcia Marcia Marcia! Are you breaking up with me? Because when Silas and I would fight, I was always afraid he would break up with me and go back with that slut A-VA!
CABIN
KIKI: (over the phone with Franco) Franco, is that you?
FRANCO: Run, Kiki, RUN! They're after you!
KIKI: OMG!
MORGAN: Man, that was one invigorating dip in the ice-cold lake. I feel ALIIIIIIIIVE! Your turn, Keeks!
KIKI: (pukes all over Morgan) BLEEEECCCCHHHHHAAAAGHHH The guilt! It's eating me alive! I have to 'fess up.
MORGAN: (grabs hunting rifle and loads it) I hear a noise. It's the cops. They're comin' after us. I'LL PROTECT YOU, KIKI!!!!
GYM
PATRICK: I could punch somebody right now.
SONNY: I know the feeling, doc.
PATRICK: Don't worry, Sonny. I don't make it a habit of punching my patients. But your buddy Jason, on the other hand, I'm going to pretend like that punching bag is him.
SONNY: Watch the hands, doc. You saved my life with those hands.
CARLY: Where's Morgan? The cops are after him.
CASSADINE ISLAND
JASON: Time's a-wastin' Helena. You could croak at any minute, despite all appearances to the contrary. Start talking already!
HELENA: Are you SURE you want to hear EVERY harrowing, quite possibly DISTURBING detail from the moment my associates pulled you from the harbor? The information you are about to receive will be most CHILLING.
CASSADINE ISLAND
JASON: Start talking, lady. Gimme back my memories NOW!
HELENA: So impatient, Mr. Morgan! Here I am basking in all of this attention and you want me to hurry it along as if you are faced with the overwhelming urge to relieve yourself?
SAM: That's Cassadine for "Whatsamatter? You have to go pee or something?"
HELENA: Samantha Morgan, I'd thank you to refrain from speaking such vulgarities, however far removed your bastard branch is from the true Cassadine family tree.
PCPD
NINA: Kiki did it.
NATHAN: And I'm Jabba The Hutt. Come on, sis. It was Franco's car. Franco did it. Case closed.
NINA: Hello? Kiki LIVES with us. She swiped Franco's keys when she was blotto and drove to the Haunted Star. Right, Franco?
FRANCO: Sorry. My hearing aid's not on.
NINA: (shouting) I SAID KIKI DID IT AND YOU'RE INNOCENT, FRANCO. IN-NO-CENT!
FRANCO: Je ne parle pas l'anglais. Je m'appelle Francois. Comment allez-vous? (Translation: I don't speak English. My name is Francois. How are you?)
CABIN
MORGAN: Are you ready, Kiki? Are you ready to go fishin' and huntin' and swimmin' and skiin', and hikin', kayakin' with Captain Morgan!
KIKI: Red bull much, Captain?
MORGAN: Come on, Keeks! You'll never know the thrill of catching the big one until you try.
KIKI: Whose place is this anyway?
MORGAN: You know my dad. His mob money has bought him houses even I don't know about. Maybe this is one of them.
HOSPITAL
CARLY: Distracted much, Patrick?
PATRICK: Sam's off chasin' Jason in Greece.
CARLY: Wait, Jason's in GREECE? What's he doing there, trying to strangle his lost memories out of Helena?
PATRICK: Pretty much. And if Helena coughs them up, then I can kiss my life with Sam goodbye.
CARLY: If he was going to jump on a plane to another country, why didn't he invite ME????
GYM
SONNY: What is my wheelchair-bound ass doing here?
EPIPHANY: Ever heard of a field trip?
SONNY: Is making me depressed supposed to be therapeutic?
EPIPHANY: We came here to teach you how to FIGHT because obviously you've forgotten.
CASSADINE ISLAND
SAM: Are you JEALOUS because your beloved Mikkos knocked my grandmother up with my mom because he didn't feel like climbing into bed with YOU?
HELENA: I CURSE YOU, SAMANTHA MORGAN!
JASON: Whoa, Hells Bells. Don't go cursing my supposed wife-turned-adventure buddy!
HELENA: My my! It appears our circus has encountered some rather tedious sideshows.
LIZ: Helena, you're a frail, dying baddie hooked up to oxygen. Save your last few breaths and let us all go.
HELENA: Elizabeth Webber, you are an insipid little trollop who is incapable of comprehending what I am about to reveal to Mr. Morgan. AFTER I partake of my afternoon tea. Nikolas, darling, I must have my tea at once.
PCPD
NATHAN: Well, look what we have here. Sis, you were right. It was Kiki behind the wheel.
FRANCO: Ever heard of Halloween? I was feeling groovy so I broke out my blond wig and bellbottoms and dressed up like Marcia Brady.
NINA: I never cared for Marcia. I was more of a Jan. What do you think about Jan, Franco?
FRANCO: I'm all about Marcia. She would never throw Cindy under the bus like Jan would.
NINA: Marcia Marcia Marcia! Are you breaking up with me? Because when Silas and I would fight, I was always afraid he would break up with me and go back with that slut A-VA!
CABIN
KIKI: (over the phone with Franco) Franco, is that you?
FRANCO: Run, Kiki, RUN! They're after you!
KIKI: OMG!
MORGAN: Man, that was one invigorating dip in the ice-cold lake. I feel ALIIIIIIIIVE! Your turn, Keeks!
KIKI: (pukes all over Morgan) BLEEEECCCCHHHHHAAAAGHHH The guilt! It's eating me alive! I have to 'fess up.
MORGAN: (grabs hunting rifle and loads it) I hear a noise. It's the cops. They're comin' after us. I'LL PROTECT YOU, KIKI!!!!
GYM
PATRICK: I could punch somebody right now.
SONNY: I know the feeling, doc.
PATRICK: Don't worry, Sonny. I don't make it a habit of punching my patients. But your buddy Jason, on the other hand, I'm going to pretend like that punching bag is him.
SONNY: Watch the hands, doc. You saved my life with those hands.
CARLY: Where's Morgan? The cops are after him.
CASSADINE ISLAND
JASON: Time's a-wastin' Helena. You could croak at any minute, despite all appearances to the contrary. Start talking already!
HELENA: Are you SURE you want to hear EVERY harrowing, quite possibly DISTURBING detail from the moment my associates pulled you from the harbor? The information you are about to receive will be most CHILLING.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
What A Conundrum!
Words spoken by the bedridden, oxygen tank-dependent, but still chic and glamorous Helena Cassadine when her goons brought in Sam and Liz. Can we ever get a scene with Helena and Spinelli. It would be a linguistic coup, that's for sure.
Liz and Sam have a spat on the flight over to Greece. Nina is appalled that Franco would get himself sent to prison to save Kiki. Morgan talks Kiki out of confessing to causing the accident. Hayden gives Shawn some good news.
PCPD INTERROGATION ROOM
NINA: What the what? Jay, you can't arrest Franco. We're normal people now.
NATHAN: I can arrest Franco, sis, and I did. We have photographic evidence that he is the one who ran Carly Corinthos off the road and could have killed her.
FRANCO: That's funny. Nina and I stayed in on Halloween night watching horror movies, handing out pre-screened candy and yelling at Kiki's mother.
NATHAN: So it was a ghost driving your car on Rte 31 that night?
FRANCO: Hey, there's no shortage of those in this town. Some of them even have accents and roll their Rs. (to self) CRAP! It was Kiki who was driving my car and she was drunk as a skunk! I can't let Kiki go to jail. I'm her fake father! (to Nathan) Wait! I took a late night drive. Yeah, that's it. I had to get Freddy Kreuger out of my head so I drove on Rte 31.
PENTONVILLE
HAYDEN: Remember me? I'm the woman you got sent up the river for shooting.
SHAWN: Of all the times for me to miss my mark. I'm sorry, Ms. Barnes.
HAYDEN: No sweat. I was in a coma for a few months, so it gave me a convenient excuse to fake some memory loss. By the way, I have some good news. You didn't shoot me.
SHAWN: Well, I sure as hell didn't shoot Jake Doe.
HAYDEN: Yeah, about that. Jake Doe isn't Jake Doe anymore. He's Jason Morgan.
SHAWN: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???
CASSADINE ISLAND
JASON: (sliding down the rope) It's a good thing I read the MacGyver Guide to Badass Entrances on the flight over. Hey Goon Boy! (knocks the goon out and takes his keycard)
ON THE AIRPLANE
LIZ: Jason loves ME!
SAM: PFFFFFFT!!! Jason is SOOOOOO out of your league it's not even funny.
LIZ: What about Patrick? Aren't you supposed to be in LURVE with him?
SAM: I DO love Patrick. But Jason is my husband and he deserves to at least REMEMBER being my husband.
LIZ: How convenient that he doesn't.
SAM: Convenient for YOU!
LIZ: You're a slut.
SAM: (throws water into Liz's face) Oops! Didn't meant to get you wet. NOT!
METROCOURT
MORGAN: So, you gainfully employed?
KIKI: I start tonight. I hope my fake dad stops by. He can even bring Nina if he wants.
MORGAN: About that...Franco's in the slammer.
KIKI: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAT????
MORGAN: He got arrested for running my mom off the road.
KIKI: OMG! I ran your mom off the road.
MORGAN: How lucky are you that your fake dad the ex-serial killer is taking the rap for you?
KIKI: Too bad I have this thing called a conscience.
CASSADINE ISLAND
JASON: Hey Nikolas, stalk much?
NIKOLAS: I'm checking up on dear ol' ailing grandmother. She likes to play with explosives and seeing she's hooked up to an oxygen tank, that can be problematic.
JASON: Mind getting the hell out of the way so I can get some answers out of dear ol' ailing grandma?
NIKOLAS: That's hilarious. Like I'm just going to let you in to interrogate my grandmother.
JASON: What do you care? You can't stand the woman and had her exiled here. Move or I'll plug ya.
ON THE AIRPLANE
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Knock it off, you two, or you get sent to a Greek jail.
SAM: Have you ever SEEN Cassadine Island? It IS a Greek jail. Speaking of Cassadines, what does Nikolas want with Jason anyway? He has his own goons.
LIZ: Are you calling Jason a GOON?
SAM: Jason works for the mob, Elizabeth, in case you have forgotten. But you wanted to turn him into Mr. Sunshine Man.
LIZ: Jason LOVES me. He chose ME over you this time. Deal with it.
SAM: Once Jason gets his memory back, he'll remember who he belongs with and drop your simpering ass like a hot potato.
LIZ: (throws water in Sam's face)
PCPD INTERROGATION ROOM
KIKI: What are you doing, Franco? You didn't run Carly off the road. I did.
FRANCO: Yeah, and I'm gonna be a good fake daddy and protect you and your bright future as a...as a...did you take my advice and get yourself a job?
KIKI: I'm waiting tables at the MetroCourt.
FRANCO: As a waitress, then. Your bright waitressing future will NOT be put in jeopardy.
KIKI: You would really do that?
FRANCO: What are fake daddies for?
CASSADINE ISLAND
HELENA: Why hello, Mr. Morgan! We meet again.
JASON: Look, I know you're all oxygened up, but you owe me some answers, lady. NOW!
HELENA: Ask and you shall receive, my darling. As I am on my farewell redemption tour, it is imperative that I, what is that word, REPENT, for the many wrongs I have committed on this earth.
JASON: Hey, Nik, is Granny delirious or something?
PENTONVILLE
HAYDEN: I have to find out who shot me but if I start looking around, I might as well go shopping for a casket.
SHAWN: You're afraid the guy--assuming it's a guy--might finish the job?
HAYDEN: Damn straight I am.
SHAWN: I've got people on the outside who can help you with that.
PCPD INTERROGATION ROOM
MORGAN: Franco, you're actually kinda awesome right now. Come on Kiki. Let Franco be awesome and take the fall for you.
KIKI: Um...okay...thank you, Franco.
PCPD
NINA: Jay, I KNOW Franco didn't do this. Kiki did.
METROCOURT
KIKI: I'm getting ALL the guilt feels, Morgan. I have to go back and confess.
MORGAN: Like HELL! We're going to skip town and get new identities.
KIKI: Okay.
CASSADINE ISLAND
GOON: Look who we found?
HELENA: My my my! Strumpett #1 and Strumpett # 2. Or are they Trollop #1 and Trollop #2? Perhaps my oxygen tank isn't working properly.
JASON: What the hell are you two doing here?
SAM: I'm here to help you get your memory back.
LIZ: And I'm here to tell you to forget about your memory and come home to me and the boys.
HELENA: Well, JASON, shall we proceed? It is a most fascinating tale. Nikolas, my darling, would you see to it that the children behave?
Liz and Sam have a spat on the flight over to Greece. Nina is appalled that Franco would get himself sent to prison to save Kiki. Morgan talks Kiki out of confessing to causing the accident. Hayden gives Shawn some good news.
PCPD INTERROGATION ROOM
NINA: What the what? Jay, you can't arrest Franco. We're normal people now.
NATHAN: I can arrest Franco, sis, and I did. We have photographic evidence that he is the one who ran Carly Corinthos off the road and could have killed her.
FRANCO: That's funny. Nina and I stayed in on Halloween night watching horror movies, handing out pre-screened candy and yelling at Kiki's mother.
NATHAN: So it was a ghost driving your car on Rte 31 that night?
FRANCO: Hey, there's no shortage of those in this town. Some of them even have accents and roll their Rs. (to self) CRAP! It was Kiki who was driving my car and she was drunk as a skunk! I can't let Kiki go to jail. I'm her fake father! (to Nathan) Wait! I took a late night drive. Yeah, that's it. I had to get Freddy Kreuger out of my head so I drove on Rte 31.
PENTONVILLE
HAYDEN: Remember me? I'm the woman you got sent up the river for shooting.
SHAWN: Of all the times for me to miss my mark. I'm sorry, Ms. Barnes.
HAYDEN: No sweat. I was in a coma for a few months, so it gave me a convenient excuse to fake some memory loss. By the way, I have some good news. You didn't shoot me.
SHAWN: Well, I sure as hell didn't shoot Jake Doe.
HAYDEN: Yeah, about that. Jake Doe isn't Jake Doe anymore. He's Jason Morgan.
SHAWN: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???
CASSADINE ISLAND
JASON: (sliding down the rope) It's a good thing I read the MacGyver Guide to Badass Entrances on the flight over. Hey Goon Boy! (knocks the goon out and takes his keycard)
ON THE AIRPLANE
LIZ: Jason loves ME!
SAM: PFFFFFFT!!! Jason is SOOOOOO out of your league it's not even funny.
LIZ: What about Patrick? Aren't you supposed to be in LURVE with him?
SAM: I DO love Patrick. But Jason is my husband and he deserves to at least REMEMBER being my husband.
LIZ: How convenient that he doesn't.
SAM: Convenient for YOU!
LIZ: You're a slut.
SAM: (throws water into Liz's face) Oops! Didn't meant to get you wet. NOT!
METROCOURT
MORGAN: So, you gainfully employed?
KIKI: I start tonight. I hope my fake dad stops by. He can even bring Nina if he wants.
MORGAN: About that...Franco's in the slammer.
KIKI: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAT????
MORGAN: He got arrested for running my mom off the road.
KIKI: OMG! I ran your mom off the road.
MORGAN: How lucky are you that your fake dad the ex-serial killer is taking the rap for you?
KIKI: Too bad I have this thing called a conscience.
CASSADINE ISLAND
JASON: Hey Nikolas, stalk much?
NIKOLAS: I'm checking up on dear ol' ailing grandmother. She likes to play with explosives and seeing she's hooked up to an oxygen tank, that can be problematic.
JASON: Mind getting the hell out of the way so I can get some answers out of dear ol' ailing grandma?
NIKOLAS: That's hilarious. Like I'm just going to let you in to interrogate my grandmother.
JASON: What do you care? You can't stand the woman and had her exiled here. Move or I'll plug ya.
ON THE AIRPLANE
FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Knock it off, you two, or you get sent to a Greek jail.
SAM: Have you ever SEEN Cassadine Island? It IS a Greek jail. Speaking of Cassadines, what does Nikolas want with Jason anyway? He has his own goons.
LIZ: Are you calling Jason a GOON?
SAM: Jason works for the mob, Elizabeth, in case you have forgotten. But you wanted to turn him into Mr. Sunshine Man.
LIZ: Jason LOVES me. He chose ME over you this time. Deal with it.
SAM: Once Jason gets his memory back, he'll remember who he belongs with and drop your simpering ass like a hot potato.
LIZ: (throws water in Sam's face)
PCPD INTERROGATION ROOM
KIKI: What are you doing, Franco? You didn't run Carly off the road. I did.
FRANCO: Yeah, and I'm gonna be a good fake daddy and protect you and your bright future as a...as a...did you take my advice and get yourself a job?
KIKI: I'm waiting tables at the MetroCourt.
FRANCO: As a waitress, then. Your bright waitressing future will NOT be put in jeopardy.
KIKI: You would really do that?
FRANCO: What are fake daddies for?
CASSADINE ISLAND
HELENA: Why hello, Mr. Morgan! We meet again.
JASON: Look, I know you're all oxygened up, but you owe me some answers, lady. NOW!
HELENA: Ask and you shall receive, my darling. As I am on my farewell redemption tour, it is imperative that I, what is that word, REPENT, for the many wrongs I have committed on this earth.
JASON: Hey, Nik, is Granny delirious or something?
PENTONVILLE
HAYDEN: I have to find out who shot me but if I start looking around, I might as well go shopping for a casket.
SHAWN: You're afraid the guy--assuming it's a guy--might finish the job?
HAYDEN: Damn straight I am.
SHAWN: I've got people on the outside who can help you with that.
PCPD INTERROGATION ROOM
MORGAN: Franco, you're actually kinda awesome right now. Come on Kiki. Let Franco be awesome and take the fall for you.
KIKI: Um...okay...thank you, Franco.
PCPD
NINA: Jay, I KNOW Franco didn't do this. Kiki did.
METROCOURT
KIKI: I'm getting ALL the guilt feels, Morgan. I have to go back and confess.
MORGAN: Like HELL! We're going to skip town and get new identities.
KIKI: Okay.
CASSADINE ISLAND
GOON: Look who we found?
HELENA: My my my! Strumpett #1 and Strumpett # 2. Or are they Trollop #1 and Trollop #2? Perhaps my oxygen tank isn't working properly.
JASON: What the hell are you two doing here?
SAM: I'm here to help you get your memory back.
LIZ: And I'm here to tell you to forget about your memory and come home to me and the boys.
HELENA: Well, JASON, shall we proceed? It is a most fascinating tale. Nikolas, my darling, would you see to it that the children behave?
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Chasin' Jason
Spinelli helps Jason locate the compound on Cassadine Island. Patrick reluctantly accepts Sam's decision to follow Jason to Greece. Liz wants in on Operation Chasin' Jason and the two get ready to leave for Greece together. Maxie and Lulu hack into Dante's work email and find a suspicious-sounding note from Valerie. Dr. Maddox runs into Anna at the hospital. Unbeknownst to Michael, Sabrina cancels her sonogram appointment.
SPINELLI'S APARTMENT, PORTLAND, OREGON
SPINELLI: Stone Cold?
JASON: Isn't that an ice cream place where they make your sundae on some cold rock?
SPINELLI: Many apologies. I failed to take into consideration your current amnesic state. I am most gratified that you are Jason Morgan and you are alive in more than merely the metaphysical sense.
JASON: Yeah, I kinda need your help, Spinelli. I need to find Helena Cassadine. She stole my life and my memory of being this Jason Morgan character away from me.
SPINELLI: And you require my assistance to hack into the Cassadine mainframe in order to ascertain the location of this diabolical, yet most elegantly attired octogenarian?
JASON: Yeah, something like that.
PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE
SAM: I haven't heard from Jason. That means he must have skipped town. I have to follow him and help him find his answers.
PATRICK: What if he doesn't want your help?
SAM: He'd never actually ASK me for it. That's not who Jason is.
PATRICK: But Jason has FORGOTTEN who Jason is. Isn't that the whole point of his journey to find himself?
SAM: He shouldn't be traipsing around Cassadine Island by himself. That place is probably rigged with booby traps.
PATRICK: Nice turn of phrase there, Sam. What about us? What about you, me, and my brokenhearted daughter Emma who thinks you and Danny will be leaving her forever?
METROCOURT
LULU: O to the MG! Just when I thought maybe, just MAYBE Dante and I could talk and work things out and stuff, I see him and Valerie CANOODLING in his cop car. CANOODLING, Maxie!
MAXIE: Shut the front door! CANOODLING?!? That SLUT! Did you walk up to that car and bitch slap her into next week? If you did and you got it on video, it would SO go viral!
LULU: No, I just rage-skulked away. I bet he's been banging her for months.
MAXIE: I know a way to find out. Being friends with Spinelli really comes in handy in times like these. OMG, check this out.
LULU: That's it! I'm going to take a little field trip over to the PCPD and cut someone. Maybe two someones. Wish me luck.
Q MANSION
MICHAEL: I can't wait to see our baby for the first time.
SABRINA: (to Michael) Well, you're not going to SEE much. (to herself) Michael CANNOT see how far along I am. What if the baby looks like Carrrrrrrrrrrlos?
LIZ: Where's Jason?
MICHAEL: You mean he's not with you?
LIZ: No. He's not with you either?
MICHAEL: Nope.
LIZ: I bet I know where he is AND who he's with.
PCPD
VALERIE: We nailed a perp AND I LIKED IT!
DANTE: Valerie, allow me to explain the concept of OBSERVATION.
VALERIE: Aw, come on, we had FUN busting that perp, didn't we?
MICHAEL: So, Dante, will you be arresting Nikolas anytime soon so I can get ELQ back?
HOSPITAL
ANNA: (on the phone with Patrick) How's Emma? Have they found her stranger danger lady yet?
PATRICK: Not yet. Nobody who fits her description comes up in the criminal database. I sure wish you were still commish.
ANNA: We need to talk. I'll see you when you come in.
DR. MADDOX: Drop something?
ANNA: Thank you.
DR. MADDOX: What do we have here? Self-medication?
ANNA: Save your questions for your actual patients, Dr. Maddox.
DR. MADDOX: You need to confront your demons, Ms. Devane. Particularly the ghost of Carrrrrrrrlos.
METROCOURT
MAXIE: The Homewrecker strikes again! I know you and Dante were CANOODLING in his cop car last night and I KNOW you sent him a sappy lovey-dovey email this morning.
VALERIE: Break the law much, Maxie? Count your lucky stars I'm not a cop yet.
MAXIE: At least I'm not banging my cousin's hubby. Seriously, Valerie, she's YOUR COUSIN!
VALERIE: And she's acting like a little bitch. Not that it's any of your business, but I'm a cadet at the police academy and they ASSIGNED me to ride along with Dante and work a stakeout and I'll have you know we NAILED that perp. THAT'S what the email was about. The thrill of nailing perps. YOU HAPPY NOW, Lulu's vigilante BFF???
PCPD
LULU: Dante Falconeri, you are a lying, cheating ASS and I KNOW you've been snuggling up to my cousin. I KNOW about the email.
DANTE: Lulu, can we not do this here? Come into the interrogation room.
LULU: So now you want to INTERROGATE ME? I'm the one who should be interrogating YOU!
HOSPITAL
PATRICK: (on the phone with Sam) So what did you decide.
SAM: I have to find Jason. I have to help him recover his Jason-ness.
PATRICK: Be careful with those Cassadines. That step-grandmother of yours has more knives than this whole hospital has scalpels and she has guns too.
SAM: I AM a Cassadine. That's why Jason needs my help. I know all the secret Cassadine handshakes from back when I didn't loathe Nikolas.
PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE
LIZ: Where's Jason?
SAM: That's what I'm about to find out.
LIZ: No you ARE NOT! YOU are staying home and I am going to go find Jason because he loves ME and he FORGOT about loving you.
SAM: I am TOO going to find Jason and I'm leaving right now
LIZ: Then I'm coming with you.
SAM: (sighing loudly) FINE. But you're Ethel. I'm Lucy. Are we clear?
INTERROGATION ROOM
LULU: So, you don't want me throwing shade at you in front of your cop friends? Boo-freakin'-HOO!
DANTE: I was trying to save you from confessing to a crime in front of "my cop friends". You're welcome.
LULU: I committed a crime? ME? BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
DANTE: Last I checked, hacking is illegal.
LULU: Last I checked, people in the 17th century who cheated on their spouses got stoned and hanged. That is, after they wore a big red A on their chest for ADULTERY!
DANTE: As far as I know, your brother Nikolas's family still believes in that sort of punishment. Around here, we just throw people in cells and occasionally give them juice boxes. And that's only if they ACTUALLY COMMIT CRIMES. Look, I only slept with Valerie ONCE. ONCE on July 4th. She's in the police academy and she got assigned to me for a stakeout, which was successful, by the way. Catching perps took a lot out of her on her first day, so she dozed off, that's all.
HOSPITAL
PATRICK: So, Sam's gone chasin' Jason.
ANNA: Good for her.
PATRICK: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
ANNA: She needs to find out if there's anything left between the two of them. It wouldn't be fair to either of you if she didn't. Have a little faith in Sam, Patrick.
SABRINA: Hey, Stephanie, right? Stephanie, can you cancel my appointment with Dr. Lee. I can't have my boyfriend knowing that I'm further along than he thinks and I might be carrying my ex's baby.
STEPHANIE: Ooooooookay.
ANNA: Hello, Sabrina. Is everything okay with the baby?
SABRINA: Everything's fine. Any word on who killed Carrrrrrrrrrrrrlos? (to herself) whose baby I might be having
ANNA: (to herself) It was ME! (to Sabrina) That case is colder than a dead Cassadine in a cryo lab. See ya.
GHOST CARRRRRRRRRLOS: (clapping slowly) Muy bien, Anna! Fantastico! Carrrrrrrrrrrlos lives forever IN YOUR MIIIIIIIND!
ANNA: Dr. Maddox, I'm ready to face my ghosts--I mean my demons.
DR. MADDOX: Come on in. This town has to have the most entertaining patients I've ever had. No wonder they call it Port Chuckles!
SPINELLI'S APARTMENT, PORTLAND, OREGON
SPINELLI: Stone Cold?
JASON: Isn't that an ice cream place where they make your sundae on some cold rock?
SPINELLI: Many apologies. I failed to take into consideration your current amnesic state. I am most gratified that you are Jason Morgan and you are alive in more than merely the metaphysical sense.
JASON: Yeah, I kinda need your help, Spinelli. I need to find Helena Cassadine. She stole my life and my memory of being this Jason Morgan character away from me.
SPINELLI: And you require my assistance to hack into the Cassadine mainframe in order to ascertain the location of this diabolical, yet most elegantly attired octogenarian?
JASON: Yeah, something like that.
PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE
SAM: I haven't heard from Jason. That means he must have skipped town. I have to follow him and help him find his answers.
PATRICK: What if he doesn't want your help?
SAM: He'd never actually ASK me for it. That's not who Jason is.
PATRICK: But Jason has FORGOTTEN who Jason is. Isn't that the whole point of his journey to find himself?
SAM: He shouldn't be traipsing around Cassadine Island by himself. That place is probably rigged with booby traps.
PATRICK: Nice turn of phrase there, Sam. What about us? What about you, me, and my brokenhearted daughter Emma who thinks you and Danny will be leaving her forever?
METROCOURT
LULU: O to the MG! Just when I thought maybe, just MAYBE Dante and I could talk and work things out and stuff, I see him and Valerie CANOODLING in his cop car. CANOODLING, Maxie!
MAXIE: Shut the front door! CANOODLING?!? That SLUT! Did you walk up to that car and bitch slap her into next week? If you did and you got it on video, it would SO go viral!
LULU: No, I just rage-skulked away. I bet he's been banging her for months.
MAXIE: I know a way to find out. Being friends with Spinelli really comes in handy in times like these. OMG, check this out.
LULU: That's it! I'm going to take a little field trip over to the PCPD and cut someone. Maybe two someones. Wish me luck.
Q MANSION
MICHAEL: I can't wait to see our baby for the first time.
SABRINA: (to Michael) Well, you're not going to SEE much. (to herself) Michael CANNOT see how far along I am. What if the baby looks like Carrrrrrrrrrrlos?
LIZ: Where's Jason?
MICHAEL: You mean he's not with you?
LIZ: No. He's not with you either?
MICHAEL: Nope.
LIZ: I bet I know where he is AND who he's with.
PCPD
VALERIE: We nailed a perp AND I LIKED IT!
DANTE: Valerie, allow me to explain the concept of OBSERVATION.
VALERIE: Aw, come on, we had FUN busting that perp, didn't we?
MICHAEL: So, Dante, will you be arresting Nikolas anytime soon so I can get ELQ back?
HOSPITAL
ANNA: (on the phone with Patrick) How's Emma? Have they found her stranger danger lady yet?
PATRICK: Not yet. Nobody who fits her description comes up in the criminal database. I sure wish you were still commish.
ANNA: We need to talk. I'll see you when you come in.
DR. MADDOX: Drop something?
ANNA: Thank you.
DR. MADDOX: What do we have here? Self-medication?
ANNA: Save your questions for your actual patients, Dr. Maddox.
DR. MADDOX: You need to confront your demons, Ms. Devane. Particularly the ghost of Carrrrrrrrlos.
METROCOURT
MAXIE: The Homewrecker strikes again! I know you and Dante were CANOODLING in his cop car last night and I KNOW you sent him a sappy lovey-dovey email this morning.
VALERIE: Break the law much, Maxie? Count your lucky stars I'm not a cop yet.
MAXIE: At least I'm not banging my cousin's hubby. Seriously, Valerie, she's YOUR COUSIN!
VALERIE: And she's acting like a little bitch. Not that it's any of your business, but I'm a cadet at the police academy and they ASSIGNED me to ride along with Dante and work a stakeout and I'll have you know we NAILED that perp. THAT'S what the email was about. The thrill of nailing perps. YOU HAPPY NOW, Lulu's vigilante BFF???
PCPD
LULU: Dante Falconeri, you are a lying, cheating ASS and I KNOW you've been snuggling up to my cousin. I KNOW about the email.
DANTE: Lulu, can we not do this here? Come into the interrogation room.
LULU: So now you want to INTERROGATE ME? I'm the one who should be interrogating YOU!
HOSPITAL
PATRICK: (on the phone with Sam) So what did you decide.
SAM: I have to find Jason. I have to help him recover his Jason-ness.
PATRICK: Be careful with those Cassadines. That step-grandmother of yours has more knives than this whole hospital has scalpels and she has guns too.
SAM: I AM a Cassadine. That's why Jason needs my help. I know all the secret Cassadine handshakes from back when I didn't loathe Nikolas.
PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE
LIZ: Where's Jason?
SAM: That's what I'm about to find out.
LIZ: No you ARE NOT! YOU are staying home and I am going to go find Jason because he loves ME and he FORGOT about loving you.
SAM: I am TOO going to find Jason and I'm leaving right now
LIZ: Then I'm coming with you.
SAM: (sighing loudly) FINE. But you're Ethel. I'm Lucy. Are we clear?
INTERROGATION ROOM
LULU: So, you don't want me throwing shade at you in front of your cop friends? Boo-freakin'-HOO!
DANTE: I was trying to save you from confessing to a crime in front of "my cop friends". You're welcome.
LULU: I committed a crime? ME? BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
DANTE: Last I checked, hacking is illegal.
LULU: Last I checked, people in the 17th century who cheated on their spouses got stoned and hanged. That is, after they wore a big red A on their chest for ADULTERY!
DANTE: As far as I know, your brother Nikolas's family still believes in that sort of punishment. Around here, we just throw people in cells and occasionally give them juice boxes. And that's only if they ACTUALLY COMMIT CRIMES. Look, I only slept with Valerie ONCE. ONCE on July 4th. She's in the police academy and she got assigned to me for a stakeout, which was successful, by the way. Catching perps took a lot out of her on her first day, so she dozed off, that's all.
HOSPITAL
PATRICK: So, Sam's gone chasin' Jason.
ANNA: Good for her.
PATRICK: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
ANNA: She needs to find out if there's anything left between the two of them. It wouldn't be fair to either of you if she didn't. Have a little faith in Sam, Patrick.
SABRINA: Hey, Stephanie, right? Stephanie, can you cancel my appointment with Dr. Lee. I can't have my boyfriend knowing that I'm further along than he thinks and I might be carrying my ex's baby.
STEPHANIE: Ooooooookay.
ANNA: Hello, Sabrina. Is everything okay with the baby?
SABRINA: Everything's fine. Any word on who killed Carrrrrrrrrrrrrlos? (to herself) whose baby I might be having
ANNA: (to herself) It was ME! (to Sabrina) That case is colder than a dead Cassadine in a cryo lab. See ya.
GHOST CARRRRRRRRRLOS: (clapping slowly) Muy bien, Anna! Fantastico! Carrrrrrrrrrrlos lives forever IN YOUR MIIIIIIIND!
ANNA: Dr. Maddox, I'm ready to face my ghosts--I mean my demons.
DR. MADDOX: Come on in. This town has to have the most entertaining patients I've ever had. No wonder they call it Port Chuckles!
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
My Fair Nina
Maxie has a makeover project in her new "boss" Nina. Dr. Maddox interviews Franco and is not lost for questions. Franco and Morgan inspire Kiki to look for a job. Alexis asks a favor of Olivia. Carly hires Epiphany as Sonny's physical therapist. Valerie begins her first day as a police academy cadet by working a stakeout with Dante. Olivia appeals to Lulu to try to work things out with Dante. A visit from Carly brings out rage in Ava.
CRIMSON OFFICE
MAXIE: We need to save Crimson from going down the toilet.
NINA: Yeah, we need to do that. How are we doing to do that?
MAXIE: I'm confused. Who is whose boss here?
NINA: I hired you to tell me what the hell to do, so I'm your boss and I'm telling you to tell me what to do.
MAXIE: Glad we got that cleared up. Here. Read this magazine and get some inspiration.
NINA: We need to do a photo shoot in an African country just like this magazine.
NINA/FRANCO/KIKI'S APARTMENT
FRANCO: You need to get a job and be nicer to Nina.
KIKI: Okay, whatever.
DR. MADDOX'S OFFICE
DR. MADDOX: So, Franco, you call yourself? It says here you are a serial killer artist obsessed with death.
FRANCO: That's when I looked like this other guy and I had a serial killer tumor in my brain.
DR. MADDOX: Intriguing. However, you have been involved in some criminal activity since said tumor was removed.
FRANCO: That resulted in no loss of life, thank you very much. I was just trying to help my friend, well she's my girlfriend now even though all we've done is make out, and things got out of hand when she lost her mind and thought another woman's baby was hers.
DR. MADDOX: I see. So you helped this girlfriend of yours kidnap a baby and flee the country.
FRANCO: We went to Canada. Big deal. I had to help her realize that it wasn't her kid without all those pesky distractions around.
DR. MADDOX: Here's another interesting tidbit from your fascinating history: Just this year, you injected yourself with a disturbingly high dose of LSD.
FRANCO: Come on, doc! My crazy mother was about to shoot up my girlfriend with a lethal dose of the stuff. I saved her life, doc.
DR. MADDOX: Are you, or have you ever, affiliated yourself with the Pastafarians and/or worshiped the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
FRANCO: The thought crossed my mind, but do you see a colander on my head?
DR. OBRECHT: Now zat's enough of zat! Zis session is over. Velcome back to vork, Franco!
METROCOURT
LULU: Alexis, I want to file for separation with Dante. Please make it happen.
ALEXIS: Sure. Just call my people and we'll set something up.
OLIVIA: OMG, Julian! Leo just said his first full sentence!
JULIAN: Please tell me it was "Where is Da-Da?"
OLIVIA: Close, it was "Cannolis are yummy, Mama."
ALEXIS: He's, what, five months old?
OLIVIA: Oh and he can speak some Italian too.
JULIAN: As long as he knows who his Papa is, right?
AVA'S PENTHOUSE
PAUL: Now don't go all domestic on me, Ava. Your next assignment is to sex some information out of Morgan about his father.
AVA: Real mature, Paul. Morgan already thought of that one. Nobody pimps Ava Jerome out.
PAUL: Well, you'd better rustle up some of that killer instinct before I rustle up a certain flash drive with a certain recording that can get you sent right back to the pen.
SONNY'S HOUSE
EPIPHANY: I'm here and I'm ready to get your ass outta that wheelchair.
SONNY: Say WHAAAAAAAAAT? What the hell, Carly?
CARLY: You want to walk again?
EPIPHANY: I'll take it from here, Mrs. Corinthos. As for you, scram!
CARLY: But...but...
EPIPHANY: You don't mess with Piph!
DANTE'S COP CAR
VALERIE: You know how I just started cop school? Guess who gets to train me?
DANTE: This isn't going to be awkward at all.
VALERIE: So, how's Lulu? Does she still hate both of our guts?
DANTE: Basically, yeah.
NINA/FRANCO/KIKI'S APARTMENT
KIKI: Franco says I need a job.
MORGAN: It couldn't hurt. What can you do?
KIKI: Hmmm...good question. I can sell crabs.
MORGAN: Seeing that my mom owns half of the MetroCourt, you could always wait tables.
NATHAN: Knock knock
KIKI: Nina's not here. She's at "work".
NATHAN: I'm here for Franco.
KIKI: He's at work too. Sort of.
METROCOURT
OLIVIA: Lulu, you've got to talk to Dante and work things out with him because he loves you SO SO SO SO much.
LULU: I'm still WAY too pissed at Dante over that little thing he did called cheating on me WITH MY COUSIN.
AVA'S PENTHOUSE
CARLY: Are you happy you psycho BITCH, for that stunt you pulled in court with my hubby?
AVA: It's not like I was the one threatening to riddle HIM with bullets.
CARLY: There's no way in HELL you are keeping Sonny's little girl. We're coming after you, AVA. Oh, and stay away from Morgan while you're at it.
AVA: As IF he could stay away from ME.
CRIMSON OFFICE
NINA: Julian, can we go to Africa and take some pretty pictures for the magazine?
JULIAN: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You have a budget of two dollars and forty-five cents. Good luck with that.
NINA: Maxie, what are we going to do? I have no idea how to run a magazine on a shoestring. I'm a friggin' HEIRESS for crying out loud!
MAXIE: You're going to be the new face of Crimson. MAKEOVER TIME!!!!!
SONNY'S HOUSE
SONNY: What the hell are we doin' here?
EPIPHANY: Making sure your legs don't turn to jello while your brain can't make them move, that's what.
SONNY: Make sense, I guess. How long is this gonna take?
EPIPHANY: Didn't Drake, Jr. explain to you how the brain and spinal cord work? It's up to ME to make sure you do your exercises so you got legs to walk on again.
SONNY: (phone rings) I gotta take this.
EPIPHANY: (grabs phone and tosses it) What did I say about messin' with Piph? YA JUST DON'T DO IT!
AVA'S PENTHOUSE
AVA: TO HELL with Sonny and Carly! They WILL NOT take my daughter away from me
and they will most certainly NOT take away MY TERRITORY!
PAUL: The fire's back, Ava Jerome. THE FIRE IS BACK! (Has sex with Ava)
METROCOURT
ALEXIS: Um, Olivia, do you and Baby Leo want to come over and have some turkey at my brand spankin' new house? I would really love to hear him speak Italian.
OLIVIA: Sure, we'll drop by. Maybe Rocco can hang out with his little baby uncle.
KIKI: My fake dad and my ex-boyfriend think I need a job. Can you help me?
DANTE'S COP CAR
VALERIE: Stakeouts are exhausting (falls asleep on Dante's shoulder)
OUTSIDE DANTE'S CAR
LULU: OMG! They just can't stay AWAY FROM EACH OTHER! Screw separation! I am SO filing for divorce now.
CRIMSON OFFICE
MAXIE: We need to save Crimson from going down the toilet.
NINA: Yeah, we need to do that. How are we doing to do that?
MAXIE: I'm confused. Who is whose boss here?
NINA: I hired you to tell me what the hell to do, so I'm your boss and I'm telling you to tell me what to do.
MAXIE: Glad we got that cleared up. Here. Read this magazine and get some inspiration.
NINA: We need to do a photo shoot in an African country just like this magazine.
NINA/FRANCO/KIKI'S APARTMENT
FRANCO: You need to get a job and be nicer to Nina.
KIKI: Okay, whatever.
DR. MADDOX'S OFFICE
DR. MADDOX: So, Franco, you call yourself? It says here you are a serial killer artist obsessed with death.
FRANCO: That's when I looked like this other guy and I had a serial killer tumor in my brain.
DR. MADDOX: Intriguing. However, you have been involved in some criminal activity since said tumor was removed.
FRANCO: That resulted in no loss of life, thank you very much. I was just trying to help my friend, well she's my girlfriend now even though all we've done is make out, and things got out of hand when she lost her mind and thought another woman's baby was hers.
DR. MADDOX: I see. So you helped this girlfriend of yours kidnap a baby and flee the country.
FRANCO: We went to Canada. Big deal. I had to help her realize that it wasn't her kid without all those pesky distractions around.
DR. MADDOX: Here's another interesting tidbit from your fascinating history: Just this year, you injected yourself with a disturbingly high dose of LSD.
FRANCO: Come on, doc! My crazy mother was about to shoot up my girlfriend with a lethal dose of the stuff. I saved her life, doc.
DR. MADDOX: Are you, or have you ever, affiliated yourself with the Pastafarians and/or worshiped the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
FRANCO: The thought crossed my mind, but do you see a colander on my head?
DR. OBRECHT: Now zat's enough of zat! Zis session is over. Velcome back to vork, Franco!
METROCOURT
LULU: Alexis, I want to file for separation with Dante. Please make it happen.
ALEXIS: Sure. Just call my people and we'll set something up.
OLIVIA: OMG, Julian! Leo just said his first full sentence!
JULIAN: Please tell me it was "Where is Da-Da?"
OLIVIA: Close, it was "Cannolis are yummy, Mama."
ALEXIS: He's, what, five months old?
OLIVIA: Oh and he can speak some Italian too.
JULIAN: As long as he knows who his Papa is, right?
AVA'S PENTHOUSE
PAUL: Now don't go all domestic on me, Ava. Your next assignment is to sex some information out of Morgan about his father.
AVA: Real mature, Paul. Morgan already thought of that one. Nobody pimps Ava Jerome out.
PAUL: Well, you'd better rustle up some of that killer instinct before I rustle up a certain flash drive with a certain recording that can get you sent right back to the pen.
SONNY'S HOUSE
EPIPHANY: I'm here and I'm ready to get your ass outta that wheelchair.
SONNY: Say WHAAAAAAAAAT? What the hell, Carly?
CARLY: You want to walk again?
EPIPHANY: I'll take it from here, Mrs. Corinthos. As for you, scram!
CARLY: But...but...
EPIPHANY: You don't mess with Piph!
DANTE'S COP CAR
VALERIE: You know how I just started cop school? Guess who gets to train me?
DANTE: This isn't going to be awkward at all.
VALERIE: So, how's Lulu? Does she still hate both of our guts?
DANTE: Basically, yeah.
NINA/FRANCO/KIKI'S APARTMENT
KIKI: Franco says I need a job.
MORGAN: It couldn't hurt. What can you do?
KIKI: Hmmm...good question. I can sell crabs.
MORGAN: Seeing that my mom owns half of the MetroCourt, you could always wait tables.
NATHAN: Knock knock
KIKI: Nina's not here. She's at "work".
NATHAN: I'm here for Franco.
KIKI: He's at work too. Sort of.
METROCOURT
OLIVIA: Lulu, you've got to talk to Dante and work things out with him because he loves you SO SO SO SO much.
LULU: I'm still WAY too pissed at Dante over that little thing he did called cheating on me WITH MY COUSIN.
AVA'S PENTHOUSE
CARLY: Are you happy you psycho BITCH, for that stunt you pulled in court with my hubby?
AVA: It's not like I was the one threatening to riddle HIM with bullets.
CARLY: There's no way in HELL you are keeping Sonny's little girl. We're coming after you, AVA. Oh, and stay away from Morgan while you're at it.
AVA: As IF he could stay away from ME.
CRIMSON OFFICE
NINA: Julian, can we go to Africa and take some pretty pictures for the magazine?
JULIAN: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You have a budget of two dollars and forty-five cents. Good luck with that.
NINA: Maxie, what are we going to do? I have no idea how to run a magazine on a shoestring. I'm a friggin' HEIRESS for crying out loud!
MAXIE: You're going to be the new face of Crimson. MAKEOVER TIME!!!!!
SONNY'S HOUSE
SONNY: What the hell are we doin' here?
EPIPHANY: Making sure your legs don't turn to jello while your brain can't make them move, that's what.
SONNY: Make sense, I guess. How long is this gonna take?
EPIPHANY: Didn't Drake, Jr. explain to you how the brain and spinal cord work? It's up to ME to make sure you do your exercises so you got legs to walk on again.
SONNY: (phone rings) I gotta take this.
EPIPHANY: (grabs phone and tosses it) What did I say about messin' with Piph? YA JUST DON'T DO IT!
AVA'S PENTHOUSE
AVA: TO HELL with Sonny and Carly! They WILL NOT take my daughter away from me
and they will most certainly NOT take away MY TERRITORY!
PAUL: The fire's back, Ava Jerome. THE FIRE IS BACK! (Has sex with Ava)
METROCOURT
ALEXIS: Um, Olivia, do you and Baby Leo want to come over and have some turkey at my brand spankin' new house? I would really love to hear him speak Italian.
OLIVIA: Sure, we'll drop by. Maybe Rocco can hang out with his little baby uncle.
KIKI: My fake dad and my ex-boyfriend think I need a job. Can you help me?
DANTE'S COP CAR
VALERIE: Stakeouts are exhausting (falls asleep on Dante's shoulder)
OUTSIDE DANTE'S CAR
LULU: OMG! They just can't stay AWAY FROM EACH OTHER! Screw separation! I am SO filing for divorce now.
Monday, November 16, 2015
Jason Morgan, Superstar
There's a new musical coming to Port Chuckles! Jason Morgan Superstar, the journey of Jason Morgan's search for what made him Jason Morgan. Leading ladies are plentiful, with Liz and Sam grabbing top billing, followed closely by Carly. Here are a few of the showstoppers from the production *
* Not all of the musical numbers are parodies of songs from Jesus Christ Superstar. I'm an equal opportunity showtune spoofer.
1. "Jason On Their Minds" Performed by Nikolas Cassadine
2. "Memory (Where The Hell Is My Memory?)" Performed by Jason Morgan
3 "I Know Just How To Love Him" Performed by Liz Webber and Sam Morgan, with a few lines from Carly Corinthos and Robin Scorpio-Drake.
4. "If I Were A Jake Doe" performed by Jason Morgan
5. "Getting To Know Me" performed by Jason Morgan, Carly Corinthos, Liz Webber, Sam Morgan, Robin Scorpio Drake and Helena Cassadine
6. "You're The Enforcer I Want" Performed by Sonny Corinthos and Jason Morgan
7. "People Will Say I'm A Thug" Performed by Jason Morgan
8. "Suddenly Stone Cold" Performed by Damien Spinelli
9. "Daddy Can You Hear Me?" Performed by Jake Spencer and Danny Morgan
10. "The Winner Takes Him Home" Performed by Liz Webber and Sam Morgan
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