Nina went fake crazy over Avery so she could go back to Shadybrook to be with Franco. Meanwhile Franco may be faking his LSD crazy because he heard everything Olivia said about being preggers with Julian's baby. Spencer is transferred to Shriners Hospital for Children, where Nikolas speaks with his doctors about his recovery. Michael goes forward in pursuing custody of Avery. Jake/Jason has a weird dream about Liz. Ava explains to Silas how she survived being shot and falling off a bridge. Morgan and NuBlondeKiki are ready to say goodbye to Ava, but Julian isn't about to count his sister out.
KELLY'S
MORGAN: Ava is dead. She was shot and she fell off a bridge into ice cold water. Ergo, dead. Time to close the book and move on.
KIKI: You're probably right, Morgan. Who could have survived that? Should I have the memorial or shouldn't I?
JULIAN: You two are awfully quick to give up on Ava. I'm not so sure she's dead. Never count Ava Jerome out.
NYC HOSPITAL
SILAS: Wakey, wakey, Ava! You're in the Secret Green Room in a Manhattan hospital so no cops or Corinthoses can find you.
AVA: Silas, am I happy to see you! Who'd have thunk I would swim out of that water, stagger through the woods with a bleeding gunshot wound and manage to hitchhike my way to safety?
SILAS: You're a survivor, Ava. By the way, I had to lie to Kiki and not tell her you are alive. If anyone in Port Chuckles finds out, it's back to Pentonville, or worse.
AVA: Kiki is grieving me? That's so sad. And she has to take care of Avery too.
SILAS: Yeah, about that. She had to give Avery back to Sonny, but Michael is suing for custody.
AVA: Say WHAAAAAATTTTT?????
COURTHOUSE
NINA: That's MY BABY! A stranger is holding MY BABY! I want MY BABY back NOW or I'll throw a nutter that will get me sent back to Shadybrook!
ALEXIS: Nathan, calm your hysterical sister down. I suggest herbal tea.
NATHAN: Whoa, Nina, dial down the crazy! If I didn't know better, I'd think you WANT to get sent back to Shadybrook.
NINA: I wanna see the judge. I wanna get MY BABY back!
NATHAN: Sorry, Alexis. It looks like her brief foray into sanity has come and gone. I'd better take her back.
SHADYBROOK
FRANCO: Where's Phyllis?
OLIVIA: I don't know who the hell Phyllis is, but I'm not her.
FRANCO: I know that! You're the pizza mama! Mama Celeste and Papa John are gonna have a little piece of pizza pie. That's Amore!
OLIVIA: Whatever. Anyway, I hear you got the Heather Webber Special just like I did, so I can ramble on about stuff I don't want any sane person hearing like that I'm carrying Julian Jerome's baby.
FRANCO: When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's amore!
OLIVIA: OF COURSE I run into Julian and Alexis at the hospital in the way to my OB appointment and...
FRANCO: When the stars make you drool like a pasta fazool, that's amore!
OLIVIA: ...Ned jumps in and says the baby's his! Julian bought it, but Alexis, I'm not so sure.
FRANCO: Bells will ring, ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling...
OLIVIA: It felt great to get that off my chest.
FRANCO: You can confess to Father Franco anytime you like, Olivia.
HOSPITAL
JAKE: I had a weird dream about you, Uhlizabeth. It was like bizarro world. You were hurt and in a hospital bed and I was helping you.
LIZ: Reversed roles, that's interesting. By the way, I'm sorry about Ric and his trying to send you to prison. I'm kinda not that into him right now.
JAKE: Hey, don't let me be the cause of your breakup with Ric.
COURTHOUSE
MICHAEL: I was raised by Sonny The Mobster and took a bullet that put me in a coma for a year. My brother was sent to military school because of Sonny. My sister was held hostage by one of Sonny's enemies. Sonny shot my other brother. Sonny is the root of all evil and should not raise my little sister.
RIC: Objection! Sonny's not all that bad, and this is coming from a guy who used to hate his guts.
ALEXIS: I would SO rather be having sex with Julian right now.
CARLY: But...but...but...Avery needs her father's love!
NYC HOSPITAL
AVA: I don't want Sonny OR Michael raising MY DAUGHTER! I need to get over to that courthouse and claim her for myself.
SILAS: Did I mistakenly inject you with LSD??? If you show your face in Port Charles, you will either get shot, arrested, or both. For the love of that baby girl, stay put!
Out of respect for Shriners Hospital and what they do to help sick and seriously injured children, I will not be parodying any of the scenes with Spencer getting treatment there. I will say, however, that Tyler Christopher has been knocking it out of the park in his portrayal of the distraught father Nikolas.
Friday, February 27, 2015
Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Sick Day :(
Sorry, no blog today because I'm really under the weather. I hope to be back tomorrow or Friday.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
SPENCER!!!!
Spencer gets trapped as the Swag Bag Fire spreads around him when he runs back in the room for his Uncle Sonny Boxing Robe. Sam takes her turn in Jake's revolving door hospital room. Olivia eats a ton of pie and worries about what Ned has gotten himself into by saying he's her baby daddy. Alexis obsesses about Ned and Olivia but Julian just wants to have sex with her. Liz & Ric talk about Jake. Patrick and Nikolas also talk about Jake.
WYNDEMERE
EMMA: Does this room smell smoky to you, Spencer?
FIRE: FINALLY I'M NOTICED!
SPENCER: We gotta get out of here.
FIRE: Yeah, that would be a good idea, kiddo. I can get really big really fast and then you're kinda screwed.
HOSPITAL
JAKE: The revolving door keeps on revolving. Hi Sam.
SAM: Sorry to wake you, Jake. What were you saying about rings?
JAKE: Rings?
SAM: One ring, actually. You said before you went in for surgery that there was only one ring.
JAKE: I dunno why I was talking about a ring. Maybe I had a weird dream about being in a dirty bathtub.
SAM: I'll ask Nikolas
JAKE: By Nikolas, do you mean a Cassadine? Sorry, but I don't want anything to do with any more Cassadines.
SAM: I'm a Cassadine. Nikolas is my cousin.
JAKE: Okay, I'll make an exception for you, but as for the rest of the Addams Family, I'd rather keep my distance.
KELLY'S
OLIVIA: Nom Nom Nom! Me love pie!
NED: That's MY pie!
OLIVIA: Not anymore. I'm eating for two. Are you sure about this "I'm your baby daddy" business?
NED: I wouldn't have said anything if I weren't. I don't just blurt out false baby daddy confessions for kicks. Wait a minute...
OLIVIA: Alexis might be onto you.
NED: Alexis suffers from Chronic Lawyer Syndrome. She can't turn Lawyer Brain off.
JULIAN'S APARTMENT
JULIAN: Let's have sex.
ALEXIS: Not until I've obsessed about Ned and his baby daddy confession some more.
JULIAN: Talk about a buzzkill.
ALEXIS: Ned pulled this before, but it was for me, with Kristina. I didn't want Sonny to know about her so he pretended to be the dad. Then we broke up, he hooked up with Skye and I had to dress like the Quartermaine butler to see my daughter, but that's beside the point.
JULIAN: It would have been kinda cool to raise a kid from birth, you know.
ALEXIS: I know the feeling. Sam, remember?
JULIAN: Duh! She's my kid too.
ALEXIS: Well, we have Danny. Let's go at it, Grandpa!
JULIAN: Um, about that...
WYNDEMERE
NIKOLAS: Patrick, how did Jake Doe's surgery go? Did he remember who he is?
PATRICK: Nope, still has no clue. Why the interest in Jake?
NIKOLAS: I know what it's like to lose my memory after a car wreck, that's all.
PATRICK: The surgery was a success as far as removing the *ahem* device. As for regaining his memory of who he is, that still remains to be seen.
LIZ'S HOUSE
LIZ: I'm still pissed at you, Ric. How dare you try to send Jake to jail for the rest of his life to get him "out of the way"
RIC: Are you still into Jake, Elizabeth?
LIZ: Hi Cameron! How was the party?
CAMERON: It was pretty cool, even if I can't stand Spencer.
LIZ: I heard you and Emma had a falling out. What happened?
CAMERON: We broke up. I dumped her for Josslyn Jacks. She was more into me anyway.
LIZ: It's time for you to go to bed. Say goodnight to Ric.
CAMERON: Night, Ric
RIC: Night, Cam.
LIZ: I'm going to hit the sack too. Can you, like, go home now?
RIC: Are you still into Jake?
LIZ: Ummmm
WYNDEMERE
SPENCER: Now that we're safe, I need to go get my robe. Uncle Sonny gave it to me so it's extra special.
FIRE: How stupid can you be, kid? I'm devouring your birthday decor as we speak and I'm still hungry!
EMMA: Don't do that Spencer! It's too dangerous!
FIRE: Listen to your lady love and get the hell outta here. I really don't want to have to eat you.
SPENCER: I'm trapped Help me!
FIRE: Told you so.
EMMA: Mr. Cassadine! Daddy! Spencer is in trouble! The living room's on fire and he's in the middle of it and can't get out!
NIKOLAS: Patrick, call 911. I'm going to go use my Super Cassadine Prince Powers to walk through fire and save my kid.
PATRICK: dials 911 There's a fire at Wyndemere on Spoon Island with a 10 year old child trapped. Get here, like, YESTERDAY!
EMMA: I'M SO SCARED! IS SPENCER GOING TO DIE?
OUTSIDE
NIKOLAS: Spencer, wake up! SPENCER!!!
PATRICK: I'm not feeling a pulse.
NIKOLAS: SPENCER!!!!
WYNDEMERE
EMMA: Does this room smell smoky to you, Spencer?
FIRE: FINALLY I'M NOTICED!
SPENCER: We gotta get out of here.
FIRE: Yeah, that would be a good idea, kiddo. I can get really big really fast and then you're kinda screwed.
HOSPITAL
JAKE: The revolving door keeps on revolving. Hi Sam.
SAM: Sorry to wake you, Jake. What were you saying about rings?
JAKE: Rings?
SAM: One ring, actually. You said before you went in for surgery that there was only one ring.
JAKE: I dunno why I was talking about a ring. Maybe I had a weird dream about being in a dirty bathtub.
SAM: I'll ask Nikolas
JAKE: By Nikolas, do you mean a Cassadine? Sorry, but I don't want anything to do with any more Cassadines.
SAM: I'm a Cassadine. Nikolas is my cousin.
JAKE: Okay, I'll make an exception for you, but as for the rest of the Addams Family, I'd rather keep my distance.
KELLY'S
OLIVIA: Nom Nom Nom! Me love pie!
NED: That's MY pie!
OLIVIA: Not anymore. I'm eating for two. Are you sure about this "I'm your baby daddy" business?
NED: I wouldn't have said anything if I weren't. I don't just blurt out false baby daddy confessions for kicks. Wait a minute...
OLIVIA: Alexis might be onto you.
NED: Alexis suffers from Chronic Lawyer Syndrome. She can't turn Lawyer Brain off.
JULIAN'S APARTMENT
JULIAN: Let's have sex.
ALEXIS: Not until I've obsessed about Ned and his baby daddy confession some more.
JULIAN: Talk about a buzzkill.
ALEXIS: Ned pulled this before, but it was for me, with Kristina. I didn't want Sonny to know about her so he pretended to be the dad. Then we broke up, he hooked up with Skye and I had to dress like the Quartermaine butler to see my daughter, but that's beside the point.
JULIAN: It would have been kinda cool to raise a kid from birth, you know.
ALEXIS: I know the feeling. Sam, remember?
JULIAN: Duh! She's my kid too.
ALEXIS: Well, we have Danny. Let's go at it, Grandpa!
JULIAN: Um, about that...
WYNDEMERE
NIKOLAS: Patrick, how did Jake Doe's surgery go? Did he remember who he is?
PATRICK: Nope, still has no clue. Why the interest in Jake?
NIKOLAS: I know what it's like to lose my memory after a car wreck, that's all.
PATRICK: The surgery was a success as far as removing the *ahem* device. As for regaining his memory of who he is, that still remains to be seen.
LIZ'S HOUSE
LIZ: I'm still pissed at you, Ric. How dare you try to send Jake to jail for the rest of his life to get him "out of the way"
RIC: Are you still into Jake, Elizabeth?
LIZ: Hi Cameron! How was the party?
CAMERON: It was pretty cool, even if I can't stand Spencer.
LIZ: I heard you and Emma had a falling out. What happened?
CAMERON: We broke up. I dumped her for Josslyn Jacks. She was more into me anyway.
LIZ: It's time for you to go to bed. Say goodnight to Ric.
CAMERON: Night, Ric
RIC: Night, Cam.
LIZ: I'm going to hit the sack too. Can you, like, go home now?
RIC: Are you still into Jake?
LIZ: Ummmm
WYNDEMERE
SPENCER: Now that we're safe, I need to go get my robe. Uncle Sonny gave it to me so it's extra special.
FIRE: How stupid can you be, kid? I'm devouring your birthday decor as we speak and I'm still hungry!
EMMA: Don't do that Spencer! It's too dangerous!
FIRE: Listen to your lady love and get the hell outta here. I really don't want to have to eat you.
SPENCER: I'm trapped Help me!
FIRE: Told you so.
EMMA: Mr. Cassadine! Daddy! Spencer is in trouble! The living room's on fire and he's in the middle of it and can't get out!
NIKOLAS: Patrick, call 911. I'm going to go use my Super Cassadine Prince Powers to walk through fire and save my kid.
PATRICK: dials 911 There's a fire at Wyndemere on Spoon Island with a 10 year old child trapped. Get here, like, YESTERDAY!
EMMA: I'M SO SCARED! IS SPENCER GOING TO DIE?
OUTSIDE
NIKOLAS: Spencer, wake up! SPENCER!!!
PATRICK: I'm not feeling a pulse.
NIKOLAS: SPENCER!!!!
Monday, February 23, 2015
Burnin' Swag
Wyndemere's burning up, all because Cameron didn't want his swag bag from Spencer's birthday party. Nathan and Spinelli fight over Maxie. Jake wakes up but doesn't remember who he is after his "chipectomy". Anna shows off her Fed badge to Jordan. Shawn and Sonny compare notes on Jake.
WYNDEMERE
SLOANE: What are we going to do about Jake?
NIK: Dunno, but I exiled Grandmother.
SLOANE: Good riddance! That woman drove me nuts, pestering me about letting her and Luke Spencer out of the clink.
KELLY'S
NATHAN: Maxie, why didn't you tell me your geek baby daddy's still in love with you?
MAXIE: You were too busy being pissed at me about Johnny Zacchara.
SPINELLI: If I may interject--
NATHAN: SHUT UP!
MAXIE: You guys aren't going to get all triangley over me, are you?
NATHAN: So who do you love? Me, or him?
MAXIE: That answers that question.
HOSPITAL
LIZ: Jake, who are you?
JAKE: I forgot.
PATRICK: He was under the sauce when he remembered, so it makes sense that he's already forgotten.
LIZ: Don't worry, Jakey! Now that your Helena Robot Chip is gone, you're that nice guy I met who made fun of Dr. O and gave me a sketching kit.
CARLY: Move over, Elizabeth. My turn to talk Jake's ear off.
JORDAN'S MOTEL ROOM
JORDAN: Anna, I thought you were still in Washington having the book thrown at you.
ANNA: Yet here I am, with a federal agent's credentials in my hand. The shoe is on the other foot now and I am investigating Sloane.
JORDAN: So can I quit playing Undercover Secret Agent Badass and be a mom to my son now?
ANNA: You wish!
WYNDEMERE
CAMERON: Hey Emma, you STILL haven't told me why you didn't tell me that Josslyn's in love with me.
EMMA: Cameron, will you stop BOTHERING me about that.
JOSSLYN: Whatsamatter, Emma? Are you threatened by the worldly sophistication that is Josslyn Jacks?
SPENCER: It's okay, Emma. You can always dump the TOWNIE and be with my AWESOME 10-year-old self.
CAMERON: This birthday party is STUPID! I like Josslyn now because she likes ME!
JOSSLYN: What can I say? I know how to get my man. I AM my mother's daughter.
SONNY'S HOUSE
SONNY: Hey Shawn, what's the deal with Jake? Did Carly hook up with him?
SHAWN: They got close.
SONNY: Keep an eye on him.
SHAWN: Will do.
HOSPITAL
CARLY: Hey, Jake! Is that still your name? Or are you Tom from Arizona with a wife, three kids, a dog, a cat and two goldfish?
JAKE: No such luck. I'm still Jake. Apparently, just as I was going under, I remembered who I was, but when I woke up, I forgot again.
CARLY: That's kind of a good thing because I didn't want you to go back to Arizona. We're friends, right?
JAKE: I guess so.
WYNDEMERE
SPENCER: Hey Townie, don't forget your swag bag!
CAMERON: Burn Swag Bag, Burn!
SPENCER: Don't listen to him, Emma. He's just a townie. Dance with me.
EMMA: Okay.
SPENCER: Great Grandmother taught me how to waltz. Where is she? Oh well! Let's dance.
FIRE: HELLO! DOESN'T ANYBODY SMELL ME? Thank God for no sprinkler system at this here castle because otherwise I'd be long dead by now.
WYNDEMERE
SLOANE: What are we going to do about Jake?
NIK: Dunno, but I exiled Grandmother.
SLOANE: Good riddance! That woman drove me nuts, pestering me about letting her and Luke Spencer out of the clink.
KELLY'S
NATHAN: Maxie, why didn't you tell me your geek baby daddy's still in love with you?
MAXIE: You were too busy being pissed at me about Johnny Zacchara.
SPINELLI: If I may interject--
NATHAN: SHUT UP!
MAXIE: You guys aren't going to get all triangley over me, are you?
NATHAN: So who do you love? Me, or him?
MAXIE: That answers that question.
HOSPITAL
LIZ: Jake, who are you?
JAKE: I forgot.
PATRICK: He was under the sauce when he remembered, so it makes sense that he's already forgotten.
LIZ: Don't worry, Jakey! Now that your Helena Robot Chip is gone, you're that nice guy I met who made fun of Dr. O and gave me a sketching kit.
CARLY: Move over, Elizabeth. My turn to talk Jake's ear off.
JORDAN'S MOTEL ROOM
JORDAN: Anna, I thought you were still in Washington having the book thrown at you.
ANNA: Yet here I am, with a federal agent's credentials in my hand. The shoe is on the other foot now and I am investigating Sloane.
JORDAN: So can I quit playing Undercover Secret Agent Badass and be a mom to my son now?
ANNA: You wish!
WYNDEMERE
CAMERON: Hey Emma, you STILL haven't told me why you didn't tell me that Josslyn's in love with me.
EMMA: Cameron, will you stop BOTHERING me about that.
JOSSLYN: Whatsamatter, Emma? Are you threatened by the worldly sophistication that is Josslyn Jacks?
SPENCER: It's okay, Emma. You can always dump the TOWNIE and be with my AWESOME 10-year-old self.
CAMERON: This birthday party is STUPID! I like Josslyn now because she likes ME!
JOSSLYN: What can I say? I know how to get my man. I AM my mother's daughter.
SONNY'S HOUSE
SONNY: Hey Shawn, what's the deal with Jake? Did Carly hook up with him?
SHAWN: They got close.
SONNY: Keep an eye on him.
SHAWN: Will do.
HOSPITAL
CARLY: Hey, Jake! Is that still your name? Or are you Tom from Arizona with a wife, three kids, a dog, a cat and two goldfish?
JAKE: No such luck. I'm still Jake. Apparently, just as I was going under, I remembered who I was, but when I woke up, I forgot again.
CARLY: That's kind of a good thing because I didn't want you to go back to Arizona. We're friends, right?
JAKE: I guess so.
WYNDEMERE
SPENCER: Hey Townie, don't forget your swag bag!
CAMERON: Burn Swag Bag, Burn!
SPENCER: Don't listen to him, Emma. He's just a townie. Dance with me.
EMMA: Okay.
SPENCER: Great Grandmother taught me how to waltz. Where is she? Oh well! Let's dance.
FIRE: HELLO! DOESN'T ANYBODY SMELL ME? Thank God for no sprinkler system at this here castle because otherwise I'd be long dead by now.
Sunday, February 22, 2015
Helena Should Have Brainwashed Her Goons
Now that Nikolas has had Helena exiled to Greece for the foreseeable future, here's a little tribute to her latest exploits in The Chuckles
Screencaps from Lisa's GH Screencaps
Helena Should Have
Brainwashed Her Goons (To the tune of “Say Something” by A Great Big World)
Helena should have brainwashed her goons
Before they were bought out by Nikolas
She could have told them “You’re Active!”
Then she would not be exiled to Greece.
But now, the castle’s without its queen
Who will teach Spencer to waltz, when she’s not being
mean?
Helena should have brainwashed her goons
If she had she could have gone to Luke
She needs to be back for the Nurses’ Ball
So she can sing a song with Liesl.
Hells, she’s the epic mean girl
But her style is unmatched in the Port Chuckles world.
Helena should have brainwashed her goons!
Screencaps from Lisa's GH Screencaps
Friday, February 20, 2015
Exiled
Nik sent granny packing and I'm sure gonna miss her! I don't like to play favorites in this blog, but Constance Towers is awesome and I can't get enough of her portrayal of Helena, Queen of Darkness. Elsewhere in The Chuckles, Alexis calls BS on Ned's claiming to be Olivia's baby daddy. Tracy sees Luke change his tune on a dime when she mentions his childhood. Georgie and Rocco have their first playdate and epic cuteness ensues for about 30 seconds before the focus shifts to their mothers. Spinelli literally runs into Nathan at Kelly's. Patrick gives Jake's Greek chorus the lowdown on his brain surgery.
KELLY'S
SPINELLI: Muscular detective, I'm sorry I ran into your coffee cup. My clumsiness is most unfortunate. I'll buy you a new one.
NATHAN: No sweat, Spinelli. I'll skip the sugar. Gotta keep this physique hot and sexy for my woman.
SPINELLI: About your woman, I broke up with Ellie because I believe I may still fancy her affections.
NATHAN: Oooookaaaay.
SPINELLI: She told me that you and she had an altercation about a certain mobster.
NATHAN: She told you?
HOSPITAL
ALEXIS: Um, Ned, when did you have sex with Olivia? How can you be her baby daddy?
NED: When you were pissed at me in late November, early December.
ALEXIS: I love how you keep records of my moods.
JULIAN: Are you sure I'm not the baby daddy?
NED: The kid's mine, Jerome. Get over it.
WYNDEMERE
LIZ: Jake made it through surgery and the chip was removed, no thanks to you, Helena. Nikolas, send this woman packing.
NIKOLAS: I assure you, Liz, that my grandmother's stay is temporary. By the way, since my unsavory relative caused Jake to need brain surgery, I'll cover the costs.
HELENA: Honestly, Nurse Webber, can you be any more TEDIOUS?
LIZ: I have to go before Dr. O orders ME to undergo brain surgery.
HELENA: Send my regards to dear Liesl.
LIZ: Yeah, whatever.
NIKOLAS: I hope you enjoyed your stay at Wyndemere, Grandmother, because it's OVER! Gentlemen, would you kindly escort my grandmother to Cassadine Island?
HELENA: How dare you co-opt MY operatives.
NIKOLAS: They're MY goons now, Grandmother.
HELENA: I must speak with Luke.
NIKOLAS: I don't think so.
HELENA: If young Spencer should ask where I have gone, I hope you will be prepared to see the disappointment in his eyes when he hears that you have sent me away.
LULU AND DANTE'S APARTMENT
MAXIE: Look who's here! Rocco's got a new bestie! Or future girlfriend. By the way, I need help. Spinelli's still in love with me.
LULU: No way! Did you tell him you're with Nathan now?
MAXIE: Well, here's the thing: Nathan and I kind of had a fight about how I helped Johnny leave town.
LULU: You helped Johnny run from the law?
MAXIE: Come on, Lulu, you would have totally done the same thing.
LULU: Yeah, probably.
PCPD JAIL
LUKE: SOMEBODY HEEEEEEEELLLLLPPPP ME! WHAT'S HAAAAAAPPPPENNING TO ME?
TRACY: Well this is a different Luke than I saw when I was last here.
LUKE: It was that man. That man who had my face. But that man...I think he was me. Or a figment of my imagination. Or maybe I have another personality like that blond Falconeri woman.
TRACY: I had a little chat with Helena Cassadine. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I agree with her that something in your childhood, something terrible caused your mind to split in two.
LUKE: Helena? What does the Dragon Lady know about me? You need to stay away from that woman. She's bad news.
TRACY: Believe me, I don't make a habit of paying social calls to that lunatic, but I was desperate for answers.
LUKE: So you believe me. You believe I'm not this psycho who's been running around with my face?
TRACY: I believe you. Now let's talk about your childhood.
LUKE: Get out of here you nagging bitch! Go take a long walk off a short pier.
TRACY: I must have flipped the switch. I'm going to go find PATRICIA and get some answers!
HOSPITAL
PATRICK: Jake's surgery was successful. We took the Helena Chip out of his head, but we don't know yet whether or not there is any brain damage.
CARLY: Poor Jake! I hope he's going to be okay.
SAM: Do you think that if he wakes up, he'll remember who he is?
PATRICK: Ask Elizabeth. She said she heard him say something right before he went under the sauce.
LIZ: He said something like "I know who I am" but I couldn't make anything out after that.
LULU AND DANTE'S APARTMENT
TRACY: Lulu, I need to talk to you about Luke.
MAXIE: Don't worry, Tracy, I'm out of here.
LULU: What about Dad?
TRACY: There is something very seriously wrong with your father's mental state. One minute, he was scared and confused about who he was and what he had done and the next, he was back to being that Fluke monster he's been for the past year.
LULU: Poor Daddy! What could have happened in that childhood home to have messed with his mind like that?
HOSPITAL
LIZ: Jake, now that you're awake, who are you?
KELLY'S
SPINELLI: Muscular detective, I'm sorry I ran into your coffee cup. My clumsiness is most unfortunate. I'll buy you a new one.
NATHAN: No sweat, Spinelli. I'll skip the sugar. Gotta keep this physique hot and sexy for my woman.
SPINELLI: About your woman, I broke up with Ellie because I believe I may still fancy her affections.
NATHAN: Oooookaaaay.
SPINELLI: She told me that you and she had an altercation about a certain mobster.
NATHAN: She told you?
HOSPITAL
ALEXIS: Um, Ned, when did you have sex with Olivia? How can you be her baby daddy?
NED: When you were pissed at me in late November, early December.
ALEXIS: I love how you keep records of my moods.
JULIAN: Are you sure I'm not the baby daddy?
NED: The kid's mine, Jerome. Get over it.
WYNDEMERE
LIZ: Jake made it through surgery and the chip was removed, no thanks to you, Helena. Nikolas, send this woman packing.
NIKOLAS: I assure you, Liz, that my grandmother's stay is temporary. By the way, since my unsavory relative caused Jake to need brain surgery, I'll cover the costs.
HELENA: Honestly, Nurse Webber, can you be any more TEDIOUS?
LIZ: I have to go before Dr. O orders ME to undergo brain surgery.
HELENA: Send my regards to dear Liesl.
LIZ: Yeah, whatever.
NIKOLAS: I hope you enjoyed your stay at Wyndemere, Grandmother, because it's OVER! Gentlemen, would you kindly escort my grandmother to Cassadine Island?
HELENA: How dare you co-opt MY operatives.
NIKOLAS: They're MY goons now, Grandmother.
HELENA: I must speak with Luke.
NIKOLAS: I don't think so.
HELENA: If young Spencer should ask where I have gone, I hope you will be prepared to see the disappointment in his eyes when he hears that you have sent me away.
LULU AND DANTE'S APARTMENT
MAXIE: Look who's here! Rocco's got a new bestie! Or future girlfriend. By the way, I need help. Spinelli's still in love with me.
LULU: No way! Did you tell him you're with Nathan now?
MAXIE: Well, here's the thing: Nathan and I kind of had a fight about how I helped Johnny leave town.
LULU: You helped Johnny run from the law?
MAXIE: Come on, Lulu, you would have totally done the same thing.
LULU: Yeah, probably.
PCPD JAIL
LUKE: SOMEBODY HEEEEEEEELLLLLPPPP ME! WHAT'S HAAAAAAPPPPENNING TO ME?
TRACY: Well this is a different Luke than I saw when I was last here.
LUKE: It was that man. That man who had my face. But that man...I think he was me. Or a figment of my imagination. Or maybe I have another personality like that blond Falconeri woman.
TRACY: I had a little chat with Helena Cassadine. I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I agree with her that something in your childhood, something terrible caused your mind to split in two.
LUKE: Helena? What does the Dragon Lady know about me? You need to stay away from that woman. She's bad news.
TRACY: Believe me, I don't make a habit of paying social calls to that lunatic, but I was desperate for answers.
LUKE: So you believe me. You believe I'm not this psycho who's been running around with my face?
TRACY: I believe you. Now let's talk about your childhood.
LUKE: Get out of here you nagging bitch! Go take a long walk off a short pier.
TRACY: I must have flipped the switch. I'm going to go find PATRICIA and get some answers!
HOSPITAL
PATRICK: Jake's surgery was successful. We took the Helena Chip out of his head, but we don't know yet whether or not there is any brain damage.
CARLY: Poor Jake! I hope he's going to be okay.
SAM: Do you think that if he wakes up, he'll remember who he is?
PATRICK: Ask Elizabeth. She said she heard him say something right before he went under the sauce.
LIZ: He said something like "I know who I am" but I couldn't make anything out after that.
LULU AND DANTE'S APARTMENT
TRACY: Lulu, I need to talk to you about Luke.
MAXIE: Don't worry, Tracy, I'm out of here.
LULU: What about Dad?
TRACY: There is something very seriously wrong with your father's mental state. One minute, he was scared and confused about who he was and what he had done and the next, he was back to being that Fluke monster he's been for the past year.
LULU: Poor Daddy! What could have happened in that childhood home to have messed with his mind like that?
HOSPITAL
LIZ: Jake, now that you're awake, who are you?
Thursday, February 19, 2015
The Shoe's On The Other Foot
Anna and Sloane have switched jobs and now Anna is investigating Sloane's role in fixing the mayoral election and eating his lunch too. Helena gives Nikolas enough clues to figure out that Jake is Jason. Jake realizes he's Jason two seconds before the anesthesia kicks in. Patrick removes the chip but things get scary in the OR. Ned, Olivia, Alexis and Julian get into it at the hospital while Carly and Sam bond over Jake, Jason, and Sonny.
KELLY'S
ANNA: I'm BAAAAAACK! The charges were dropped and I have a new job. I'm the Fed now and you're the police commissioner. The tables have turned and now I am investigating YOU.
SLOANE: Who did you sleep with to make this happen?
ANNA: Very funny, Kyle. You're going down for helping rig an election. All this vindication is making me hungry. Don't mind if I steal some fries and that BLT?
SLOANE: Watch out, Anna Devane! You may be the hotshot fed now but I can still make a lot of trouble for you.
WYNDEMERE
NIKOLAS: Why did Sam give Jake a ring? Sam was never married to Jake?
HELENA: Two plus two equals...
NIKOLAS: JASON! Jake is Jason.
HELENA: Bingo! You, my darling grandson, get a gold star!
NIKOLAS: I have to tell Sam her husband is alive.
HELENA: Tell her and I will sing and I am not referring to "Shall We Dance". Two words: Election fraud.
NIKOLAS: You'd send me to jail?
HELENA: It's the last thing I want to have to do, but if you tell Sam that Jason is alive, our plans for taking over ELQ in true Cassadine fashion are finished.
NIKOLAS: It's not just Sam who has the right to know Jason is alive. Carly, Sonny, Michael, and Elizabeth do too.
LIZ: Was someone talking about ME?
OPERATING ROOM
JAKE: I...KNOW...WHO...I...AM. I...AM...JASON...MORGAN!
LIZ: What did you say?
JAKE: Out like a light.
PATRICK: Let's get this brain surgery on the road.
LIZ: I KNOW he said something.
HOSPITAL
ALEXIS: Ned, you were right that I am still in love with Julian. But we're still pals, right?
NED: Wrong! You have terrible taste in men.
JULIAN: I can hear you!
NED: Aren't you on your way back to the Big House?
JULIAN: Not anymore. Alexis got me off the hook.
NED: We're SO not friends anymore.
JULIAN: Do you want to take this outside? Or... inside the elevator?
NED: Bring it on!
OLIVIA: Okay, fine, I'm pregnant!
JULIAN: I'm going to be a father again!
NED: You WISH! The kid's mine.
OPERATING ROOM
PATRICK: Hey Elizabeth, hold this suction thingy while I pull the chip out of Jake's brain.
LIZ: Sure thing.
PATRICK: Here goes. Machines start beeping like mad CRAP! WE'RE LOSING HIM!
LIZ: Save him, Patrick, please! Save my Jakey!
Q MANSION
SABRINA: Boy, are you in a good mood.
MICHAEL: I just scored a major victory in my War On Sonny.
SABRINA: Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, is this for Avery or is this about you sticking it to Sonny?
MICHAEL: You're one to talk about Avery's best interests. You almost killed her.
SABRINA: So can't believe you went there.
MICHAEL: Sorry. Low blow. Avery isn't safe with Sonny.
SABRINA: Well, if it's about Avery's safety...
SONNY: Michael, we have to talk.
SABRINA: Gotta go.
MICHAEL: Talk to the hand.
SONNY: Michael, why are you doing this?
MICHAEL: I'm saving Avery from becoming a Mobular Crypt Baby who throws barware, screams "Son Of A Bitch" and kills someone's father.
SONNY: FYI, I'm not doing any mobbing. I'm leaving that up to Duke.
HOSPITAL
CARLY: I hear Jake's having brain surgery to get the Helena Chip out of his head.
SAM: My sweetie Patrick is drilling his skull as we speak.
CARLY: I'm sorry I didn't believe you about Jake doing the stuff you said he did. I was wrong.
SAM: Where's a recording device when I need one. Carly just apologized AND admitted she was wrong.
CARLY: Jake will be okay, right?
SAM: Maybe. But he could die. He said it was worth the risk to not be mind-controlled. How's Sonny? I heard he got pardoned.
CARLY: Wasn't that just the BEST! Now he can raise his daughter. That is, if Michael doesn't take Avery away from him.
SAM: Why would he do that?
CARLY: To get back at Sonny for murdering AJ. This is the worst case scenario, Sam. OMG, the two people I love most in the world are up against each other.
SONNY'S HOUSE
DUKE: I have a gift for Avery. You know, if she were my daughter she would be Avery Lavery?
SONNY: That's hilarious. Thank you for the gift, Duke. And thanks for minding the store while I was in lockup.
DUKE: Am I to assume you are ready to take the reigns from me?
SONNY: No. I can't be mobbing while this custody suit is going on.
DUKE: What custody suit?
SONNY: Michael is suing for custody of Avery.
KELLY'S
ANNA: I'm BAAAAAACK! The charges were dropped and I have a new job. I'm the Fed now and you're the police commissioner. The tables have turned and now I am investigating YOU.
SLOANE: Who did you sleep with to make this happen?
ANNA: Very funny, Kyle. You're going down for helping rig an election. All this vindication is making me hungry. Don't mind if I steal some fries and that BLT?
SLOANE: Watch out, Anna Devane! You may be the hotshot fed now but I can still make a lot of trouble for you.
WYNDEMERE
NIKOLAS: Why did Sam give Jake a ring? Sam was never married to Jake?
HELENA: Two plus two equals...
NIKOLAS: JASON! Jake is Jason.
HELENA: Bingo! You, my darling grandson, get a gold star!
NIKOLAS: I have to tell Sam her husband is alive.
HELENA: Tell her and I will sing and I am not referring to "Shall We Dance". Two words: Election fraud.
NIKOLAS: You'd send me to jail?
HELENA: It's the last thing I want to have to do, but if you tell Sam that Jason is alive, our plans for taking over ELQ in true Cassadine fashion are finished.
NIKOLAS: It's not just Sam who has the right to know Jason is alive. Carly, Sonny, Michael, and Elizabeth do too.
LIZ: Was someone talking about ME?
OPERATING ROOM
JAKE: I...KNOW...WHO...I...AM. I...AM...JASON...MORGAN!
LIZ: What did you say?
JAKE: Out like a light.
PATRICK: Let's get this brain surgery on the road.
LIZ: I KNOW he said something.
HOSPITAL
ALEXIS: Ned, you were right that I am still in love with Julian. But we're still pals, right?
NED: Wrong! You have terrible taste in men.
JULIAN: I can hear you!
NED: Aren't you on your way back to the Big House?
JULIAN: Not anymore. Alexis got me off the hook.
NED: We're SO not friends anymore.
JULIAN: Do you want to take this outside? Or... inside the elevator?
NED: Bring it on!
OLIVIA: Okay, fine, I'm pregnant!
JULIAN: I'm going to be a father again!
NED: You WISH! The kid's mine.
OPERATING ROOM
PATRICK: Hey Elizabeth, hold this suction thingy while I pull the chip out of Jake's brain.
LIZ: Sure thing.
PATRICK: Here goes. Machines start beeping like mad CRAP! WE'RE LOSING HIM!
LIZ: Save him, Patrick, please! Save my Jakey!
Q MANSION
SABRINA: Boy, are you in a good mood.
MICHAEL: I just scored a major victory in my War On Sonny.
SABRINA: Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, is this for Avery or is this about you sticking it to Sonny?
MICHAEL: You're one to talk about Avery's best interests. You almost killed her.
SABRINA: So can't believe you went there.
MICHAEL: Sorry. Low blow. Avery isn't safe with Sonny.
SABRINA: Well, if it's about Avery's safety...
SONNY: Michael, we have to talk.
SABRINA: Gotta go.
MICHAEL: Talk to the hand.
SONNY: Michael, why are you doing this?
MICHAEL: I'm saving Avery from becoming a Mobular Crypt Baby who throws barware, screams "Son Of A Bitch" and kills someone's father.
SONNY: FYI, I'm not doing any mobbing. I'm leaving that up to Duke.
HOSPITAL
CARLY: I hear Jake's having brain surgery to get the Helena Chip out of his head.
SAM: My sweetie Patrick is drilling his skull as we speak.
CARLY: I'm sorry I didn't believe you about Jake doing the stuff you said he did. I was wrong.
SAM: Where's a recording device when I need one. Carly just apologized AND admitted she was wrong.
CARLY: Jake will be okay, right?
SAM: Maybe. But he could die. He said it was worth the risk to not be mind-controlled. How's Sonny? I heard he got pardoned.
CARLY: Wasn't that just the BEST! Now he can raise his daughter. That is, if Michael doesn't take Avery away from him.
SAM: Why would he do that?
CARLY: To get back at Sonny for murdering AJ. This is the worst case scenario, Sam. OMG, the two people I love most in the world are up against each other.
SONNY'S HOUSE
DUKE: I have a gift for Avery. You know, if she were my daughter she would be Avery Lavery?
SONNY: That's hilarious. Thank you for the gift, Duke. And thanks for minding the store while I was in lockup.
DUKE: Am I to assume you are ready to take the reigns from me?
SONNY: No. I can't be mobbing while this custody suit is going on.
DUKE: What custody suit?
SONNY: Michael is suing for custody of Avery.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
I'M JASON!
Right as he is slipping under the sauce, Jake remembers who he is. Who the hell knows what's going on in Luke's brain. One minute he's mouthing off to Bobbie and the next, he's seeing his split personality in a prison guard uniform. Nikolas, Tracy, & Lulu try to extract information about Luke out of Helena, but Tracy and Lulu leave unsatisfied. Nik then grills his granny about Jake. Olivia freaks out about Julian finding out about her pregnancy. Alexis tells Julian how she got him out of going back to Pentonville.
HOSPITAL
PATRICK: So, now that you know this brain surgery can kill you, Jake, what are you going to do?
JAKE: I'm guessing Disneyland is out of the question.
PATRICK: Not unless you want to contract measles.
JAKE: Oh yeah, that. So I want to get Helena's soldier boy chip out of my head whether it kills me or not. When can you start drilling into my skull?
PATRICK: As soon as you can change into a hospital gown. What do we care if you have eaten something since late last night? After all, you are the only patient in this hospital and I am the only brain surgeon, so let's do it.
JAKE: Sweet! I keep forgetting, does the gown tie in the back or the front?
WYNDEMERE
TRACY: Spill it, Helena. What have you done to Luke?
HELENA: Luke is a very complex, very flawed man. Ergo, he must have had a traumatic childhood. Personally, I find this Luke very attractive.
TRACY: You would.
LULU: We are so not getting the answers we need.
TRACY: You can say that again. Full immunity my ass.
PCPD JAIL
BOBBIE: How could you, Luke? What has happened to my big brother? When did you become a monster?
LUKE: This is who I've always been, Barbara Jean. I've always had a dark side. Don't we all? My dark side has just become a little darker lately.
BOBBIE: A LITTLE? You tried to blow up a boat with your daughter, your wife, and a bunch of other innocent people on it.
LUKE: Bobbie? Barbara? What's happening to me? I'm turning GREEN! Am I the HULK???? SOMEBODY HEEEEEEELLLLLP MEEEEEEEE!
LUKE'S DARK SIDE: Shut up you raving imbecile!
LUKE: NOOOOO! This can't be happening! My muscles are bulging. My shirt is getting tight. HEEEEELLLLLLPPPPP!
Q MANSION
OLIVIA: Just kidding. I'm not pregnant. Home pregnancy tests always lie.
NED: But you got a blood test.
OLIVIA: PSYCH!!!! Got you again. I really am pregnant.
NED: What's up with you, Olivia? Why did you want me to think you weren't pregnant? Are you embarrassed that you're carrying Julian Jerome's spawn?
OLIVIA: Embarrassed is not the word. Freaked out is more like it. If Julian finds out, his mob boss will blow up my uterus to send him a message.
NED: We can't have any exploding uteri.
OLIVIA: Which is why I need to get out of Dodge and shack up with my Bensonhurst buddy.
HOSPITAL
JULIAN: Did you break up with Ned?
ALEXIS: Nope, not yet. I was to busy getting your ass out from under a prison sentence, thank you very much.
JULIAN: How did you swing that?
ALEXIS: I told them that the Anthony Zacchara confession was to save your skin and that you didn't falsely imprison Luke. I threw some fancy legal mumbo-jumbo in there for good measure.
JULIAN: Okay, you can kiss me. As soon as you break up with Ned.
WYNDEMERE
NIKOLAS: Back to our Jake discussion, Grandmother. Who is he? I want his name, date of birth, and social security number.
HELENA: The answers you are seeking are in this box.
NIKOLAS: Who are you, Confucius? All I see in this box is a ring.
HELENA: Read the inscription.
NIKOLAS: This ring belongs to Sam.
HELENA: And she gave it to Jake on their wedding day. Voila!
HOSPITAL
LIZ: Good luck on your surgery, Jake.
SAM: When you wake up, you'll be free of my whackjob step-grandmother's mind control chip.
JAKE: Here goes!
PATRICK: Time to put you to sleep, Jake.
JAKE: I...AM...JASON
HOSPITAL
PATRICK: So, now that you know this brain surgery can kill you, Jake, what are you going to do?
JAKE: I'm guessing Disneyland is out of the question.
PATRICK: Not unless you want to contract measles.
JAKE: Oh yeah, that. So I want to get Helena's soldier boy chip out of my head whether it kills me or not. When can you start drilling into my skull?
PATRICK: As soon as you can change into a hospital gown. What do we care if you have eaten something since late last night? After all, you are the only patient in this hospital and I am the only brain surgeon, so let's do it.
JAKE: Sweet! I keep forgetting, does the gown tie in the back or the front?
WYNDEMERE
TRACY: Spill it, Helena. What have you done to Luke?
HELENA: Luke is a very complex, very flawed man. Ergo, he must have had a traumatic childhood. Personally, I find this Luke very attractive.
TRACY: You would.
LULU: We are so not getting the answers we need.
TRACY: You can say that again. Full immunity my ass.
PCPD JAIL
BOBBIE: How could you, Luke? What has happened to my big brother? When did you become a monster?
LUKE: This is who I've always been, Barbara Jean. I've always had a dark side. Don't we all? My dark side has just become a little darker lately.
BOBBIE: A LITTLE? You tried to blow up a boat with your daughter, your wife, and a bunch of other innocent people on it.
LUKE: Bobbie? Barbara? What's happening to me? I'm turning GREEN! Am I the HULK???? SOMEBODY HEEEEEEELLLLLP MEEEEEEEE!
LUKE'S DARK SIDE: Shut up you raving imbecile!
LUKE: NOOOOO! This can't be happening! My muscles are bulging. My shirt is getting tight. HEEEEELLLLLLPPPPP!
Q MANSION
OLIVIA: Just kidding. I'm not pregnant. Home pregnancy tests always lie.
NED: But you got a blood test.
OLIVIA: PSYCH!!!! Got you again. I really am pregnant.
NED: What's up with you, Olivia? Why did you want me to think you weren't pregnant? Are you embarrassed that you're carrying Julian Jerome's spawn?
OLIVIA: Embarrassed is not the word. Freaked out is more like it. If Julian finds out, his mob boss will blow up my uterus to send him a message.
NED: We can't have any exploding uteri.
OLIVIA: Which is why I need to get out of Dodge and shack up with my Bensonhurst buddy.
HOSPITAL
JULIAN: Did you break up with Ned?
ALEXIS: Nope, not yet. I was to busy getting your ass out from under a prison sentence, thank you very much.
JULIAN: How did you swing that?
ALEXIS: I told them that the Anthony Zacchara confession was to save your skin and that you didn't falsely imprison Luke. I threw some fancy legal mumbo-jumbo in there for good measure.
JULIAN: Okay, you can kiss me. As soon as you break up with Ned.
WYNDEMERE
NIKOLAS: Back to our Jake discussion, Grandmother. Who is he? I want his name, date of birth, and social security number.
HELENA: The answers you are seeking are in this box.
NIKOLAS: Who are you, Confucius? All I see in this box is a ring.
HELENA: Read the inscription.
NIKOLAS: This ring belongs to Sam.
HELENA: And she gave it to Jake on their wedding day. Voila!
HOSPITAL
LIZ: Good luck on your surgery, Jake.
SAM: When you wake up, you'll be free of my whackjob step-grandmother's mind control chip.
JAKE: Here goes!
PATRICK: Time to put you to sleep, Jake.
JAKE: I...AM...JASON
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Shall We Dance?
Helena makes us momentarily forget she's evil incarnate with a charming dance lesson with Spencer in which she teaches the youngest Cassadine how to waltz. Tracy wants to know what's really going on with Luke. While she confronts Luke, Lulu confronts Helena. Carly has it out with Michael about his suing Sonny and Morgan and Sonny argue about Michael.
WYNDEMERE
HELENA: Shall we dance! On a bright cloud of music, shall we fly? Shall we dance? And one two three and one two three and one two three and one! Splendid, young prince!
SPENCER: Are you still evil, great grandmother?
HELENA: Only toward the townies of the world, my darling! I would NEVER hurt you or your father or anyone of proper Cassadine breeding.
SPENCER: Townies! Who needs them? Shall we continue, great grandmother?
HELENA: And one two three and one two three and one two three...
NIKOLAS: What is this? The King and I meets Great Grandmother Mame? Spencer, get ready for school. I need to wring some information out of your great grandmother.
HOSPITAL
TRACY: Go on, Patrick. Show us the scans of Luke's brain and where Helena planted the mind control chip.
PATRICK: No such luck, Tracy. Only Jake has the chip. Luke's brain is nothing but a few rusty nails, cauliflower, and gin, lots of gin.
LULU: That can't be right! I know Helena is controlling my dad's brain. Why else would he have turned into this monster?
LIZ: I'm so sorry, Lulu. I know this wasn't the answer you were looking for. But Jake can be fixed, right Patrick?
JAIL
LUKE: Nice little excursion to hospital to get our brains read, eh toy soldier?
JAKE: I for one would like to know if my brain can be fixed. I'm sick of being some crazy old lady's robot. Aren't you?
LUKE: I'm nobody's robot, kid. This is the real me. 100% pure Luke Spencer.
JAKE: So you'd rather think you're just a rat bastard who hates his own family than think you've been put up to all this?
LUKE: NOBODY tells me what to do!
SONNY'S HOUSE
MORGAN: How's Avery? Has she tossed her first piece of barware yet?
SONNY: Give it time, son. She's only three months old! Corinthos kids don't start throwing barware until they're four months.
MORGAN: I can't believe Michael is suing you for custody of Avery! Dude is seriously out of control. I'm gonna go sucker-punch some sense into him.
SONNY: You will do no such thing! I understand why Michael is still pissed at me.
MORGAN: Again you're defending the guy who's treating you like crap over your own flesh and blood?
Q MANSION
CARLY: Michael, you need to get the hell over your grudge against Sonny and drop that lawsuit.
MICHAEL: Avery is not safe living with a mobster. I lived with one and got shot, remember?
CARLY: Yeah, that sucked, but you knew Sonny and I loved you.
MICHAEL: But AJ...
CARLY: I KNOW you still love Sonny. You remembered you loved him when you thought he had been blown to bits and when you helped me save his life.
MICHAEL: That was when I thought he was going back to Pentonville. Now that he's not, I'm back to disowning him and wanting to hurt him.
KELLY'S
SPENCER: My birthday party is going to be the best birthday party ever!
JOSSLYN: I'm in love with you, Cameron!
CAMERON: Emma, why didn't you tell me Josslyn was in love with me?
EMMA: Why is this all MY fault?
WYNDEMERE
NIKOLAS: Why Jake, grandmother? Why did you decide to make him your robo-goon?
HELENA: You have seen him, haven't you, Nikolas? He fits the Helena Cassadine personal servant mold splendidly. He is young, physically fit, has a propensity for amnesia, what more can one want?
NIKOLAS: The amnesia didn't come until after the car accident.
HELENA: A most fortuitous development indeed.
LULU: Helena, you tell me what you did to my father RIGHT NOW!
HELENA: Or you'll what?
NIKOLAS: Or I will go to D.A. Baldwin and get your immunity deal reversed. I can send you right back to jail with your good friend Luke Spencer.
HELENA: Jail is most inconvenient. Sit down, Lulu. This might take awhile.
JAIL
TRACY: I don't buy for one second that you have all of the sudden turned into a psychopath. Did that time in Miscavige completely fry your brains or what?
LUKE: Come on, Tracy. This has always been me. I've always been ruthless and I want what Sonny has.
TRACY: You've never been a saint, but to want to kill me and your own daughter and sister? That's not you, Luke. It never has been. You've always loved your family.
LUKE: Family is overrated. You and Lulu and Bobbie all want to chain me to a recliner and crazy-glue a newspaper into my hand. You want to domesticate me and nobody domesticates Lucas Lorenzo Spencer.
TRACY: I still don't buy that something's not gone completely awry in that mind of yours. Whether it's Helena's mind control or one too many blows to the head, if you can be fixed, I'll find a way to get the fixing done.
WYNDEMERE
HELENA: Shall we dance! On a bright cloud of music, shall we fly? Shall we dance? And one two three and one two three and one two three and one! Splendid, young prince!
SPENCER: Are you still evil, great grandmother?
HELENA: Only toward the townies of the world, my darling! I would NEVER hurt you or your father or anyone of proper Cassadine breeding.
SPENCER: Townies! Who needs them? Shall we continue, great grandmother?
HELENA: And one two three and one two three and one two three...
NIKOLAS: What is this? The King and I meets Great Grandmother Mame? Spencer, get ready for school. I need to wring some information out of your great grandmother.
HOSPITAL
TRACY: Go on, Patrick. Show us the scans of Luke's brain and where Helena planted the mind control chip.
PATRICK: No such luck, Tracy. Only Jake has the chip. Luke's brain is nothing but a few rusty nails, cauliflower, and gin, lots of gin.
LULU: That can't be right! I know Helena is controlling my dad's brain. Why else would he have turned into this monster?
LIZ: I'm so sorry, Lulu. I know this wasn't the answer you were looking for. But Jake can be fixed, right Patrick?
JAIL
LUKE: Nice little excursion to hospital to get our brains read, eh toy soldier?
JAKE: I for one would like to know if my brain can be fixed. I'm sick of being some crazy old lady's robot. Aren't you?
LUKE: I'm nobody's robot, kid. This is the real me. 100% pure Luke Spencer.
JAKE: So you'd rather think you're just a rat bastard who hates his own family than think you've been put up to all this?
LUKE: NOBODY tells me what to do!
SONNY'S HOUSE
MORGAN: How's Avery? Has she tossed her first piece of barware yet?
SONNY: Give it time, son. She's only three months old! Corinthos kids don't start throwing barware until they're four months.
MORGAN: I can't believe Michael is suing you for custody of Avery! Dude is seriously out of control. I'm gonna go sucker-punch some sense into him.
SONNY: You will do no such thing! I understand why Michael is still pissed at me.
MORGAN: Again you're defending the guy who's treating you like crap over your own flesh and blood?
Q MANSION
CARLY: Michael, you need to get the hell over your grudge against Sonny and drop that lawsuit.
MICHAEL: Avery is not safe living with a mobster. I lived with one and got shot, remember?
CARLY: Yeah, that sucked, but you knew Sonny and I loved you.
MICHAEL: But AJ...
CARLY: I KNOW you still love Sonny. You remembered you loved him when you thought he had been blown to bits and when you helped me save his life.
MICHAEL: That was when I thought he was going back to Pentonville. Now that he's not, I'm back to disowning him and wanting to hurt him.
KELLY'S
SPENCER: My birthday party is going to be the best birthday party ever!
JOSSLYN: I'm in love with you, Cameron!
CAMERON: Emma, why didn't you tell me Josslyn was in love with me?
EMMA: Why is this all MY fault?
WYNDEMERE
NIKOLAS: Why Jake, grandmother? Why did you decide to make him your robo-goon?
HELENA: You have seen him, haven't you, Nikolas? He fits the Helena Cassadine personal servant mold splendidly. He is young, physically fit, has a propensity for amnesia, what more can one want?
NIKOLAS: The amnesia didn't come until after the car accident.
HELENA: A most fortuitous development indeed.
LULU: Helena, you tell me what you did to my father RIGHT NOW!
HELENA: Or you'll what?
NIKOLAS: Or I will go to D.A. Baldwin and get your immunity deal reversed. I can send you right back to jail with your good friend Luke Spencer.
HELENA: Jail is most inconvenient. Sit down, Lulu. This might take awhile.
JAIL
TRACY: I don't buy for one second that you have all of the sudden turned into a psychopath. Did that time in Miscavige completely fry your brains or what?
LUKE: Come on, Tracy. This has always been me. I've always been ruthless and I want what Sonny has.
TRACY: You've never been a saint, but to want to kill me and your own daughter and sister? That's not you, Luke. It never has been. You've always loved your family.
LUKE: Family is overrated. You and Lulu and Bobbie all want to chain me to a recliner and crazy-glue a newspaper into my hand. You want to domesticate me and nobody domesticates Lucas Lorenzo Spencer.
TRACY: I still don't buy that something's not gone completely awry in that mind of yours. Whether it's Helena's mind control or one too many blows to the head, if you can be fixed, I'll find a way to get the fixing done.
Monday, February 16, 2015
You're My Daughter
Franco has a flashback to when he was Todd and Kiki was Starr and they were father and daughter. Sonny and Carly bond with Avery. Michael is still filled with the righteous indignation. Spinelli can't shake the Maxie bug.
MAXIE'S APARTMENT
MAXIE: What do you mean you're still in love with me, Spinelli? Where were you when I was still in love with you?
SPINELLI: I understand your abject frustration, Maximista, but you did have an altercation with the very muscular detective, did you not?
SHADYBROOK
KIKI: Franco, do you remember me?
FRANCO: I remember you, but I don't know about this Franco guy. You're Starr, my daughter and no father should EVER be separated from his daughter.
KIKI: I don't know who this Starr is, but you make a good point. I won't sue Sonny for custody of Avery.
FRANCO: Okay. When did you dye your hair?
SONNY'S HOUSE
SONNY: Happy Valentine's Day, Carly! How about a romantic evening for two?
AVERY: Waaaaaaaaaah! Don't have fun without me! WAAAAAAAAAAH!
SONNY: Make that three. This time I'm going to be there for my daughter.
CARLY: And I will totes be right by your side.
SONNY: Son of a bitch! I'm being sued for custody of Avery...by Michael!
PCPD
DANTE: So Maxie GAVE her keys and her money to Johnny?
NATHAN: She emptied her purse and left the room while Johnny was still there, so yeah, she did.
DANTE: And here I was worried Johnny would go to Lulu.
NATHAN: Do you think Maxie and I can work through this? It's our first real angst since we've been a couple.
Q MANSION
MICHAEL: I'm going to hit Sonny where it hurts: In his bank account. If he can't launder his money through legit companies, he's screwed.
SABRINA: Are you sure you want to do that? I get the revenge thing because I was all trying to kill Ava's baby and everything, but Sonny did kinda save your life and everyone else's on that boat. With your help, of course.
MICHAEL: So he saved my life, big deal. He ENDED my father's life.
SABRINA: Just don't do something you might regret, like ruining your other father's life.
METROCOURT
OLIVIA: Ned, why are you here alone? Where's Alexis?
NED: Alexis and I had a huge fight. Some blonde chick who says she knows me told me to dump Alexis and get together with you. I think she has a point.
OLIVIA: I'm pregnant with Julian Jerome's baby.
NED: This night just gets better and better.
HOSPITAL
JULIAN: So you really want to be with me, Alexis? Really, truly, forever and ever and ever?
ALEXIS: Sure, why not.
JULIAN: I know I'm cuffed to a hospital bed, but let's make out.
I have company this week, so blogs may be short and/or skipped, depending on how much free time I have.
MAXIE'S APARTMENT
MAXIE: What do you mean you're still in love with me, Spinelli? Where were you when I was still in love with you?
SPINELLI: I understand your abject frustration, Maximista, but you did have an altercation with the very muscular detective, did you not?
SHADYBROOK
KIKI: Franco, do you remember me?
FRANCO: I remember you, but I don't know about this Franco guy. You're Starr, my daughter and no father should EVER be separated from his daughter.
KIKI: I don't know who this Starr is, but you make a good point. I won't sue Sonny for custody of Avery.
FRANCO: Okay. When did you dye your hair?
SONNY'S HOUSE
SONNY: Happy Valentine's Day, Carly! How about a romantic evening for two?
AVERY: Waaaaaaaaaah! Don't have fun without me! WAAAAAAAAAAH!
SONNY: Make that three. This time I'm going to be there for my daughter.
CARLY: And I will totes be right by your side.
SONNY: Son of a bitch! I'm being sued for custody of Avery...by Michael!
PCPD
DANTE: So Maxie GAVE her keys and her money to Johnny?
NATHAN: She emptied her purse and left the room while Johnny was still there, so yeah, she did.
DANTE: And here I was worried Johnny would go to Lulu.
NATHAN: Do you think Maxie and I can work through this? It's our first real angst since we've been a couple.
Q MANSION
MICHAEL: I'm going to hit Sonny where it hurts: In his bank account. If he can't launder his money through legit companies, he's screwed.
SABRINA: Are you sure you want to do that? I get the revenge thing because I was all trying to kill Ava's baby and everything, but Sonny did kinda save your life and everyone else's on that boat. With your help, of course.
MICHAEL: So he saved my life, big deal. He ENDED my father's life.
SABRINA: Just don't do something you might regret, like ruining your other father's life.
METROCOURT
OLIVIA: Ned, why are you here alone? Where's Alexis?
NED: Alexis and I had a huge fight. Some blonde chick who says she knows me told me to dump Alexis and get together with you. I think she has a point.
OLIVIA: I'm pregnant with Julian Jerome's baby.
NED: This night just gets better and better.
HOSPITAL
JULIAN: So you really want to be with me, Alexis? Really, truly, forever and ever and ever?
ALEXIS: Sure, why not.
JULIAN: I know I'm cuffed to a hospital bed, but let's make out.
I have company this week, so blogs may be short and/or skipped, depending on how much free time I have.
Friday, February 13, 2015
Who's Cuter, Georgie or Crypt Baby Avery?
To be honest, today's episode was a bit of a snooze, at least for me. I don't watch Baby Daddy, so the crossovers were lost on me. But there was one thing good that came out of today: the debut of Harper Barash as Georgie! She was cute enough to give Crypt Baby a run for her money!
METROCOURT
OLIVIA: Damn all those happy couples. I want my Nedly!
MELISSA: OMG OMG! Is that my old Bensonhurst gal pal Liv?
OLIVIA: OMG OMG! It's Mel!
MELISSA: So what are you doing all alone on Valentine's Day?
OLIVIA: I'm pining over Ned Ashton. He's with a woman, Alexis, who really wants to be with another guy. I slept with said other guy on NYE.
MELISSA: You go, girl! Tell this Alexis woman to step aside.
HOSPITAL:
JULIAN: So, kids, thanks for hanging out with your dear old injured dad. What are your plans for the big day?
SAM: Patrick and I are having a romantic dinner at the MetroCourt where we will try not to talk about phoenixes and sex.
LUCAS: I dunno. Brad's pissed at me because he told me he loved me and I was just like "Okaaaaay"
SAM: Lucas! You didn't say "I Love You" back to Brad? What's the matter with you?
LUCAS: I just freaked, I guess. Huge step, saying the ILYs.
JULIAN: Do you love the guy?
LUCAS: Hell yeah, but I suck at grand gestures.
BRAD: Hey Felix. I see you are back in the realm of existence. Can I bitch about my Lucas problem with you?
FELIX: Not really, but whatever.
BRAD: So I said "I love you" to Lucas but he totally didn't say it back. What's up with that?
FELIX: Dunno. Maybe he's just not that into you.
Q MANSION
NED: Thanks for coming Reality Cooking Show kid. I want everything to be perfect for Alexis.
J.L.: I made my special gazpacho.
NED: Awesome. Now all I have to do is wait for her to show up.
ALEXIS: Sorry I'm late.
NED: I had that J.L. kid from that reality show come cook Gazpacho for us.
ALEXIS: OMG! J.L.! Molly made me watch that show and he's the best!
NED: Why have you been hanging around Julian? I thought you were through with that scumbag.
ALEXIS: I had to tell him his sister is presumed dead after falling off a bridge. Oh, and let him know I'm representing him.
NED: You're REPRESENTING HIM? I KNEW IT, YOU TWO ARE BACK TOGETHER!
ALEXIS: Because every time a lawyer represents a client it means she wants to have sex with him.
NED: If you really loved me, you would kick Julian Jerome to the curb.
ALEXIS: Screw you, Ned! Jumps up, spills gazpacho everywhere.
HOSPITAL
PATRICK: Sam, you look hot! But I gotta work late. Obrecht is making me.
SAM: Are you the ONLY SURGEON in this hospital?
PATRICK: Apparently.
DEREK: Hey Drake, what's up?
PATRICK: Hey Derek. How do I know you? I guess we're playing another hospital at hockey or something. I have to work late on Valentine's Day. What else is new?
DEREK: I'll babysit your date for you while I wait for my date.
PATRICK: Sam, is that okay with you, hanging out with Derek until I can get off work?
SAM: I guess so, but hurry up.
LUCAS: Attention everyone. I'm in love with Brad Cooper and even though he likes doing grand romantic gestures and I suck at them, there you have it.
BRAD: Not bad. I'd give it a 6.
LUCAS: Hey, I'm new at this. Can we make out already?
PCPD:
NATHAN: Hey, random Assistant D.A. I've never met. What's up?
NATALIA: Do you know where Johnny Zacchara is?
NATHAN: Sure do. My girlfriend helped him escape.
NATALIA: Say WHAAAAT? Your girlfriend helped a fugitive escape the law?
NATHAN: He kinda broke in.
NATALIA: Without any signs of forced entry? When you have a key, it isn't called breaking and entering.
NATHAN: Who knows? He and my girlfriend were friends a long time ago and maybe he had a spare key.
MAXIE'S APARTMENT
MAXIE: Spinelli! Great to see you. And Georgie, you look so...different from the last time I saw you. It's like the transatlantic flight turned you into a different person, who looks more like ME!
SPINELLI: It is delightful to return to the fair city of Port Charles and to reunite with you, Maximista.
MAXIE: Where's Ellie.
SPINELLI: She had to work. I mean, she broke up with me because she thinks I'm still in love with you.
MAXIE: Say WHAAAAT?
SPINELLI: Where's your muscular officer of the law?
MAXIE: He had to work too, but he didn't break up with me, yet. But he's pissed because I helped Johnny Zacchara skip town.
GEORGIE: Johnny...he my daddy, right?
SPINELLI: Say WHAAAAT? I mean, for what reason did you engage in this questionable behavior?
MAXIE: I don't know, but I attract the supidity bug like some people attract mosquitoes.
METROCOURT
SAM: This is really awkward. Why don't you surprise your date at work? That's romantic.
DEREK: Patrick would have my ass if I deserted you.
SAM: I can handle Patrick. It's just really weird pretending to be on a date with an attractive guy I'm not really on a date with, you know?
DEREK: I can take the hint. Nice knowing ya.
Q MANSION
MELISSA: Hey Ned! Drop Alexis and hook up with my girl Olivia. Don't tell me you're not attracted to him.
NED: Do I know you?
METROCOURT
OLIVIA: Damn all those happy couples. I want my Nedly!
MELISSA: OMG OMG! Is that my old Bensonhurst gal pal Liv?
OLIVIA: OMG OMG! It's Mel!
MELISSA: So what are you doing all alone on Valentine's Day?
OLIVIA: I'm pining over Ned Ashton. He's with a woman, Alexis, who really wants to be with another guy. I slept with said other guy on NYE.
MELISSA: You go, girl! Tell this Alexis woman to step aside.
HOSPITAL:
JULIAN: So, kids, thanks for hanging out with your dear old injured dad. What are your plans for the big day?
SAM: Patrick and I are having a romantic dinner at the MetroCourt where we will try not to talk about phoenixes and sex.
LUCAS: I dunno. Brad's pissed at me because he told me he loved me and I was just like "Okaaaaay"
SAM: Lucas! You didn't say "I Love You" back to Brad? What's the matter with you?
LUCAS: I just freaked, I guess. Huge step, saying the ILYs.
JULIAN: Do you love the guy?
LUCAS: Hell yeah, but I suck at grand gestures.
BRAD: Hey Felix. I see you are back in the realm of existence. Can I bitch about my Lucas problem with you?
FELIX: Not really, but whatever.
BRAD: So I said "I love you" to Lucas but he totally didn't say it back. What's up with that?
FELIX: Dunno. Maybe he's just not that into you.
Q MANSION
NED: Thanks for coming Reality Cooking Show kid. I want everything to be perfect for Alexis.
J.L.: I made my special gazpacho.
NED: Awesome. Now all I have to do is wait for her to show up.
ALEXIS: Sorry I'm late.
NED: I had that J.L. kid from that reality show come cook Gazpacho for us.
ALEXIS: OMG! J.L.! Molly made me watch that show and he's the best!
NED: Why have you been hanging around Julian? I thought you were through with that scumbag.
ALEXIS: I had to tell him his sister is presumed dead after falling off a bridge. Oh, and let him know I'm representing him.
NED: You're REPRESENTING HIM? I KNEW IT, YOU TWO ARE BACK TOGETHER!
ALEXIS: Because every time a lawyer represents a client it means she wants to have sex with him.
NED: If you really loved me, you would kick Julian Jerome to the curb.
ALEXIS: Screw you, Ned! Jumps up, spills gazpacho everywhere.
HOSPITAL
PATRICK: Sam, you look hot! But I gotta work late. Obrecht is making me.
SAM: Are you the ONLY SURGEON in this hospital?
PATRICK: Apparently.
DEREK: Hey Drake, what's up?
PATRICK: Hey Derek. How do I know you? I guess we're playing another hospital at hockey or something. I have to work late on Valentine's Day. What else is new?
DEREK: I'll babysit your date for you while I wait for my date.
PATRICK: Sam, is that okay with you, hanging out with Derek until I can get off work?
SAM: I guess so, but hurry up.
LUCAS: Attention everyone. I'm in love with Brad Cooper and even though he likes doing grand romantic gestures and I suck at them, there you have it.
BRAD: Not bad. I'd give it a 6.
LUCAS: Hey, I'm new at this. Can we make out already?
PCPD:
NATHAN: Hey, random Assistant D.A. I've never met. What's up?
NATALIA: Do you know where Johnny Zacchara is?
NATHAN: Sure do. My girlfriend helped him escape.
NATALIA: Say WHAAAAT? Your girlfriend helped a fugitive escape the law?
NATHAN: He kinda broke in.
NATALIA: Without any signs of forced entry? When you have a key, it isn't called breaking and entering.
NATHAN: Who knows? He and my girlfriend were friends a long time ago and maybe he had a spare key.
MAXIE'S APARTMENT
MAXIE: Spinelli! Great to see you. And Georgie, you look so...different from the last time I saw you. It's like the transatlantic flight turned you into a different person, who looks more like ME!
SPINELLI: It is delightful to return to the fair city of Port Charles and to reunite with you, Maximista.
MAXIE: Where's Ellie.
SPINELLI: She had to work. I mean, she broke up with me because she thinks I'm still in love with you.
MAXIE: Say WHAAAAT?
SPINELLI: Where's your muscular officer of the law?
MAXIE: He had to work too, but he didn't break up with me, yet. But he's pissed because I helped Johnny Zacchara skip town.
GEORGIE: Johnny...he my daddy, right?
SPINELLI: Say WHAAAAT? I mean, for what reason did you engage in this questionable behavior?
MAXIE: I don't know, but I attract the supidity bug like some people attract mosquitoes.
METROCOURT
SAM: This is really awkward. Why don't you surprise your date at work? That's romantic.
DEREK: Patrick would have my ass if I deserted you.
SAM: I can handle Patrick. It's just really weird pretending to be on a date with an attractive guy I'm not really on a date with, you know?
DEREK: I can take the hint. Nice knowing ya.
Q MANSION
MELISSA: Hey Ned! Drop Alexis and hook up with my girl Olivia. Don't tell me you're not attracted to him.
NED: Do I know you?
Thursday, February 12, 2015
But Johnny's my FRIEEEEEND!
Maxie, Maxie, Maxie! Girl, Johnny may be your FRIEEEEND and your portrayer may be married to his portrayer in real life, but Nathan's your BOY-FRIEEEEND and he's SUPER PISSED!
MAXIE'S APARTMENT
MAXIE: Nathan, I know I aided and abetted a criminal, but Johnny's my FRIEEEEND! I couldn't turn my back on him, even if it meant putting you in an impossible position.
NATHAN: Friend, Shmiend, Maxie! I'm your BOYFRIEND and A FREAKIN' COP! The right and responsible thing for you to do was to call ME the moment Johnny sauntered into this apartment.
MAXIE: But...but...but...all I did was dump the contents of my purse on a chair and took a shower!
NATHAN: So Johnny could help himself to your cash and your keys. Brilliant, Maxie! Were you thinking of GEORGIE when you let Johnny "rob" you and skip town?
MAXIE: Don't bring my daughter into this.
NATHAN: What if Judge Walters found out what you did.
MAXIE: Don't you DARE tell him!
NATHAN: Don't be ridiculous...okay, it's too late for that, but I'll file a false report of breaking and entering because I love you so much. But if we get found out, we're SCREWED!
SILAS' APARTMENT
KIKI: Alexis, can you help me keep Crypt Baby Avery? She's too cute to hand over to a mobster.
ALEXIS: Kiki, Sonny is Avery's father. However, you can sue him for custody AFTER you let Avery go home with him.
KIKI: Would I have a case?
ALEXIS: Seeing that Sonny is a convicted murderer and a known mobster, probably. But if you take the kid and run, you are SCREWED!
PCPD JAIL
LULU: Helena brainwashed you, Dad! You're not really an evil psychopath who wanted to blow me, Tracy, Lucas, Bobbie, and a bunch of other people up.
LUKE: You think that woman could mess with my brain? I'm insulted, Cupcake!
LULU: Don't call me that because you are PodLuke and not my real dad.
LUKE: Poor little ostrich with her head in the sand. This is me, you simpering fool! This is your father, Luke Spencer.
LULU: Real Luke, if you're in there, I will find you and fix you.
LUKE: You may try your best but you won't succeed.
LULU: Tears are streaming down my face now!
LUKE: Is it because you lost someone you can't replace?
LULU: Lights will guide you home, Dad. They will ignite your bones because I will try to fix you.
COURTHOUSE
RIC: What do you mean, Not Guilty?
JAKE: Uhlizabeth believes in me.
RIC: How sweet.
LIZ: Ric, don't tell me you told him to plea guilty!
RIC: Come on, Elizabeth! There's no way he can escape all the charges racked up against him.
LIZ: So you just want him out of the way. You're JEALOUS of him!
RIC: Jealous of him? Pfffft!
LIZ: He has been nothing but respectful of me. He even moved out of my house to give you and me space.
RIC: He moved out because I told him to.
LIZ: WHAT???? Now I'm SUPER PISSED!!! I don't know you anymore, Ric.
PCPD
HELENA: If I'm not being released, Commissioner, what am I here for?
SLOANE: You're here because your grandson wants to chat with you.
NIKOLAS: That's right, grandmother. Time to 'fess up to what you did to Jake and Luke.
HELENA: For a price. If I am going to provide you any information, I want my immunity.
NIKOLAS: That's up to Scott Baldwin.
SCOTT: Over my dead body!
NIKOLAS: You will give my grandmother immunity, Scott, or I'll sing a song of corruption that will cost you your position as DA.
SCOTT: What kind of corruption?
NIKOLAS: I'll get creative. Now do we have a deal?
SCOTT: Fine, DAMMIT!
HELENA: Excellent work, my darling Nikolas. Shall we?
NIKOLAS: Not until you start spilling what you did to the minds of Luke and Jake. In writing.
HELENA: Very well.
SILAS' APARTMENT
SONNY: I'm here to pick up my daughter. Alexis, what are you doing here?
ALEXIS: Just going over legal mumbo jumbo with Kiki about her mother's estate.
KIKI: Do you HAVE to take Avery?
CARLY: Yeah, we kinda do. She's Sonny's kid, but we can arrange a playdate.
KIKI: Take this blanket with you. It is covered with Eau D'Ava.
SONNY: Oooookaaaay.
KIKI: Bye Crypt Baby Avery!
SONNY: Come to papa!
PCPD
HELENA: Here it is. Instructions for unscrambling the minds of Luke Spencer and Jake Doe. I hope you are well versed in Russian.
SLOANE: Thank you, Mrs. Cassadine.
HELENA: I have done my part. As they say in chess, your move.
SLOANE: Happy Immunity, Mrs. Cassadine.
NIKOLAS: Let's hope there is no funny business in this document. Grandmother has a rather macabre sense of humor.
LULU: Nikolas, what is SHE doing out of jail?
NIKOLAS: She coughed up the information we need to fix your dad and Jake in exchange for immunity.
SONNY'S PLACE:
CRYPT BABY AVERY: Ga ga where am I goo goo?
SONNY: You are home with your daddy and your Carly.
CRYPT BABY AVERY: Me want bottle!
CARLY: Here you go, sweetie
CRYPT BABY AVERY: No milk! Me want bottle WINE!
PCPD JAIL
JAKE: You're a rat bastard.
LUKE: You're a toy soldier
JAKE: You deserve whatever is coming to us.
LUKE: You don't even know your last name.
GUARD: Come on, boys. It's showtime!
MAXIE'S APARTMENT
MAXIE: Nathan, I know I aided and abetted a criminal, but Johnny's my FRIEEEEND! I couldn't turn my back on him, even if it meant putting you in an impossible position.
NATHAN: Friend, Shmiend, Maxie! I'm your BOYFRIEND and A FREAKIN' COP! The right and responsible thing for you to do was to call ME the moment Johnny sauntered into this apartment.
MAXIE: But...but...but...all I did was dump the contents of my purse on a chair and took a shower!
NATHAN: So Johnny could help himself to your cash and your keys. Brilliant, Maxie! Were you thinking of GEORGIE when you let Johnny "rob" you and skip town?
MAXIE: Don't bring my daughter into this.
NATHAN: What if Judge Walters found out what you did.
MAXIE: Don't you DARE tell him!
NATHAN: Don't be ridiculous...okay, it's too late for that, but I'll file a false report of breaking and entering because I love you so much. But if we get found out, we're SCREWED!
SILAS' APARTMENT
KIKI: Alexis, can you help me keep Crypt Baby Avery? She's too cute to hand over to a mobster.
ALEXIS: Kiki, Sonny is Avery's father. However, you can sue him for custody AFTER you let Avery go home with him.
KIKI: Would I have a case?
ALEXIS: Seeing that Sonny is a convicted murderer and a known mobster, probably. But if you take the kid and run, you are SCREWED!
PCPD JAIL
LULU: Helena brainwashed you, Dad! You're not really an evil psychopath who wanted to blow me, Tracy, Lucas, Bobbie, and a bunch of other people up.
LUKE: You think that woman could mess with my brain? I'm insulted, Cupcake!
LULU: Don't call me that because you are PodLuke and not my real dad.
LUKE: Poor little ostrich with her head in the sand. This is me, you simpering fool! This is your father, Luke Spencer.
LULU: Real Luke, if you're in there, I will find you and fix you.
LUKE: You may try your best but you won't succeed.
LULU: Tears are streaming down my face now!
LUKE: Is it because you lost someone you can't replace?
LULU: Lights will guide you home, Dad. They will ignite your bones because I will try to fix you.
COURTHOUSE
RIC: What do you mean, Not Guilty?
JAKE: Uhlizabeth believes in me.
RIC: How sweet.
LIZ: Ric, don't tell me you told him to plea guilty!
RIC: Come on, Elizabeth! There's no way he can escape all the charges racked up against him.
LIZ: So you just want him out of the way. You're JEALOUS of him!
RIC: Jealous of him? Pfffft!
LIZ: He has been nothing but respectful of me. He even moved out of my house to give you and me space.
RIC: He moved out because I told him to.
LIZ: WHAT???? Now I'm SUPER PISSED!!! I don't know you anymore, Ric.
PCPD
HELENA: If I'm not being released, Commissioner, what am I here for?
SLOANE: You're here because your grandson wants to chat with you.
NIKOLAS: That's right, grandmother. Time to 'fess up to what you did to Jake and Luke.
HELENA: For a price. If I am going to provide you any information, I want my immunity.
NIKOLAS: That's up to Scott Baldwin.
SCOTT: Over my dead body!
NIKOLAS: You will give my grandmother immunity, Scott, or I'll sing a song of corruption that will cost you your position as DA.
SCOTT: What kind of corruption?
NIKOLAS: I'll get creative. Now do we have a deal?
SCOTT: Fine, DAMMIT!
HELENA: Excellent work, my darling Nikolas. Shall we?
NIKOLAS: Not until you start spilling what you did to the minds of Luke and Jake. In writing.
HELENA: Very well.
SILAS' APARTMENT
SONNY: I'm here to pick up my daughter. Alexis, what are you doing here?
ALEXIS: Just going over legal mumbo jumbo with Kiki about her mother's estate.
KIKI: Do you HAVE to take Avery?
CARLY: Yeah, we kinda do. She's Sonny's kid, but we can arrange a playdate.
KIKI: Take this blanket with you. It is covered with Eau D'Ava.
SONNY: Oooookaaaay.
KIKI: Bye Crypt Baby Avery!
SONNY: Come to papa!
PCPD
HELENA: Here it is. Instructions for unscrambling the minds of Luke Spencer and Jake Doe. I hope you are well versed in Russian.
SLOANE: Thank you, Mrs. Cassadine.
HELENA: I have done my part. As they say in chess, your move.
SLOANE: Happy Immunity, Mrs. Cassadine.
NIKOLAS: Let's hope there is no funny business in this document. Grandmother has a rather macabre sense of humor.
LULU: Nikolas, what is SHE doing out of jail?
NIKOLAS: She coughed up the information we need to fix your dad and Jake in exchange for immunity.
SONNY'S PLACE:
CRYPT BABY AVERY: Ga ga where am I goo goo?
SONNY: You are home with your daddy and your Carly.
CRYPT BABY AVERY: Me want bottle!
CARLY: Here you go, sweetie
CRYPT BABY AVERY: No milk! Me want bottle WINE!
PCPD JAIL
JAKE: You're a rat bastard.
LUKE: You're a toy soldier
JAKE: You deserve whatever is coming to us.
LUKE: You don't even know your last name.
GUARD: Come on, boys. It's showtime!
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