Um...Still Confused

    I'm not buying that Luke and Fluke are one and the same and that Helena's been mind-controlling Luke for years.   Luke SHOT Helena almost two years ago and she had to be brought back from the dead via the Popsicle Method.   The identity of Luke/Fluke seems to be changing hourly and nothing makes sense, but seeing (F)Luke, Tracy, & Helena in scenes together is always a pleasure.  

    MORGUE

NATHAN:  All I can tell you is that the guy I have in custody has the same fingerprints as Luke Spencer.   I just came to town last year so I don't have the foggiest idea what Luke Spencer is really like, but, if the prints match...
TRACY:   That can't be!   My HUSBAND wouldn't canoodle with HELENA CASSADINE if she were the last woman on earth!  
LULU:  And MY DAD wouldn't try to blow up MY HUSBAND and ME TOO! 
TRACY: Unless, Helena rearranged his brains like he did to your brother's.  
LULU:  That's right.  She did brainwash Lucky back before I was SORASed.  
TRACY:  I'm going town to that jail cell and I'm going to confront those two myself!  
LULU:   I'm coming with.
NATHAN:  Not so fast, Lulu.  Dante wouldn't approve.
LULU:  EXCUSE ME?
NATHAN:  What I mean is that you should talk it over with Dante first.  He's my partner and my bestie and all so I think he has a right to be in the loop.   That's all.
LULU:  Fine, I'll call him.

    PCPD JAIL

(F)LUKE:  How cute.  Everyone still thinks I'm my poor long-dead cousin Bill Eckert.
HELENA:  Well, you did exhume his grave and stash his corpse in that dreadful basement. 
(F)LUKE:  Would you imagine that?  Luke and FLUKE are one and the same.   How badass am I!
HELENA:   Are you finished with your vulgar display of navel-gazing narcissism?
(F)LUKE:   YOU are accusing ME of being a narcissist?   Look in the mirror!   Ha ha ha, good one, Spencer!  Telling a narcissist to look in the mirror.   
HELENA:  That will be enough of that.  Do you have any brilliant suggestions as to how to escape our current quagmire? 
(F)LUKE:  Since when is it up to me?  Oh, I know!  Because your buddy the greasy new police commissioner has his hands tied.   And Soldier Boy is in the next cellblock over.   
HELENA:  That is most unfortunate.  It appears I underestimated Jake.  
(F)LUKE:  That's one way of putting it.  By the way, where is your glorious Cassadine family right now?
HELENA:  Leave my family out of this.   It's not like yours are coming around either.
TRACY:  Spoke too soon, Helena.  
LUKE:  Hi Spanky!   Coming to visit me?
TRACY:  Depends.  Am I here to see you or Helena's FLUKEBOT?  
LUKE:   Like that woman could control MY MIND! 
TRACY:   What did you do to him?  UNDO IT!  NOW! 
HELENA:  What makes you think I control your husband's mind?  
TRACY:  FIX HIM!
HELENA:  For a price. 
TRACY:  Name it. 
HELENA:  Full immunity. 

HOSPITAL

MICHAEL:  Hello?   Sonny killed my father!  He should be going back to Pentonville, not getting some bogus pardon!
GOVERNOR:  I'm sorry for your loss, kid, but Mr. Corinthos saved my daughter and all those other people on that boat.  Hey, weren't YOU on that boat?  
MICHAEL:  That's beside the point!   He still cut AJ's life tragically short.  Is my father's life less important than everybody else's, including my own?
SONNY:  Michael's right, Governor.  I deserve to go back to jail.   Because winning my favorite golden son's approval is more important than my freedom.
GOVERNOR:  You will do no such thing.  The pardon stands.  You're a free man.
MICHAEL:   And I'm still pissed at you, Sonny.  I may have forgotten my anger for five seconds when you jumped into the water with that bomb, but I woke up and remembered you still killed my bio dad.   How do I know you didn't set up this pardon all along?
SONNY:  Would I set up the pardon and then tell the governor to send me back to jail? 
MICHAEL:  That was all for show.  
CARLY:  Come on Michael!   Put aside your righteous indignation and see Sonny for the hero he is. 
MICHAEL:  Fat chance.   I'm outta here. 
IVY:  Mr. Corinthos, you are SO my hero!   Here's my number.  So call me, maybe? 


SILAS' APARTMENT

MORGAN:  So, Dad's heading back to the pokey. 
KIKI:   At least he's alive.  The commissioner came by and told me my mom is presumed dead. 
MORGAN:  So sorry I wasn't around when you got the news
KIKI:  My dad was here.   Silas is such a good daddy. 
MORGAN:  Glad to know you weren't alone. 
CRYPT BABY AVERY:  Ga ga goo goo  What am I, chopped liver?  Ga ga goo goo
KIKI:  Poor Crypt Baby Avery!  She will never see her mother again. 

WYNDEMERE

SPENCER:  Dad, Chandler said you needed to talk to me.  Did Alfred tell on me again?  
NIKOLAS:  No, Spencer, this is not about your secret stash of candy in your toybox.   This is about your great-grandmother.  She's in jail. 
SPENCER:  Why?  I mean, I know she's scary and she has snakes in her hair, but sometimes I kinda like her.   Does that make me a bad person if I sometimes like someone who does bad things?
NIKOLAS:  No, son.  Truth be told--and this is just between the two of us--sometimes I kinda like her too.  She loves us as much as she can love someone, but the problem is, we're the only people she loves.  She hates everyone else and tries to kill people.  Sometimes, she succeeds.   But don't worry about her.  She's paying for her crimes.