The NYE shindig at the MetroCourt is underway and everyone is in their festive finery. Maxie and Nathan get their wires crossed AGAIN, but reunite in the nick of time.
MAXIE: WHERE'S NATHAN WHERE'S NATHAN WHERE'S NATHAN???? Different airport? I'll come get you! WHERE'S NATHAN WHERE'S NATHAN WHERE'S NATHAN???? Not at THIS airport either? Crap, my car got towed. I'll take a cab home. WHERE'S NATHAN, WHERE'S NATHAN, WHERE'S NATHAN???? I got a lift home after my cab broke down. Who's at the door! NATHAN!!!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
NATHAN: Maxie, I'm at Beecher's Corners. (spotty cell reception) D--come--me--I--ab. Hey, Dante, Lulu, where's Maxie? Maxie, where are you? Dammit, our teleporters really need to get fixed! Hey Maxie, I went to pick you up and...JUST KIDDING! I'm here! Happy New Year, Maxie!
DANTE: Why do we have to wait up for Maxie for the 5,000th time? I'm hungry. What the hey, I'll have a rib or two.
LULU: Because Maxie's my bestie, that's why! I'll have a rib too. Nathan, you're back! Maxie? She's not with you? Jeez, can't one of you stay put long enough for the other to catch up? Dante, I'm tired. Let's go home.
RIC: Elizabeth, you look stunningly amazingly gorgeous! Oh look, there's the SOB who framed me. Thanks for snatching six months of my life, JULIAN! Don't go around playing the victim. You're in the mob. People get shot. Get used to it. Gotta go. See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya! Elizabeth, what's your drifter friend doing here?
LIZ: Oh, Ric, aren't you full of compliments tonight! Honey, let's stop antagonizing mob bosses and go upstairs to the party, okay? Jake? I didn't expect to see you here.
JULIAN: Lansing, it wasn't my fault. The devil--my nameless boss--made me do it. If it isn't Ted and Alexis. Hey preppy boy. What do you say we go outside and engage in some good ol' fashioned fisticuffs? What better way for the lover who jilted me to spend her New Year's Eve, in the ER with your sorry ass! So, Olivia, you hate seeing the object of your questionable affection with Alexis too, don't you. Let's dance and make the both of them jealous, shall we?
NED: Well, if it isn't the sore loser. Alexis is with me and, well, I don't see anyone with you. Sure, I'll kick the crap out of you if you want me to. Let's do it. What's wrong, Alexis? You don't like to see two men fighting over you? Olivia, why don't you want to be my friend?
ALEXIS: Will the two of you cut it out and stop acting like preschoolers arguing over a toy truck in the sandbox? Sam, I see you brought Patrick with you. What's the relationship status with the two of you? Did you book two rooms or one?
OLIVIA: Hey, there will be no fighting you two. Julian, you need to get some booze in you and I need to not see Ned and Alexis together so let's go upstairs. What has my life come to. I'm commiserating with Julian Jerome! Okay, Julian, one dance. This night can't end fast enough.
ANNA: So you and Lucy, Duke? No, Agent Sloane is not my...or is he? Hate to tell you this, Kyle, but I think your date has another date. She upgraded from a WSB agent to a prince. Good on her. You want to dance with me, a criminal, now?
DUKE: Lucy, you look lovely. Anna, where is that gentleman with whom you were having lunch earlier today? He is your date, isn't he?
AGENT SLOANE: My date's coming. Yes, she does exist. I met her at the gym. There she is. So, you're dumping me for the prince, are you? That's okay. I've got the target of my criminal investigation, the Faison-hider to squire around for the evening. Would you like to dance, Anna?
SHAWN: Jordan, you look amazing! Living dangerously, are we? I mean, you're a target of the Jeromes. You told Julian WHAT? How do I know you aren't playing Duke's organization against Julian's? Relax, I believe you but you need to convince Duke to hire you. Duke, Jordan and I need to have a private chat with you.
LUCY: Dukey-poo! I'm here! Don't I look FABULOUS? Hey, it's not nice to leave your date while you go off and have a private meeting somewhere!
JORDAN: Looking good, Shawn. Oh, Julian did try to kill me but I told him he'd better not antagonize you and Duke, because I'm working for you now. If you'll hire me that is. After all I saved Michael's life and helped you free Ric.
JAKE: Hi Carly. Could you give me a job so I can stop shoveling snow? Really, you'll let me be your bartender after I screwed up your martini? Okay, I can handle a tray of champagne glasses. I think...Want champagne Sam? I promise I won't abduct you. Thanks, Carly, for helping me save face. Your Jason was lucky to have you as a friend.
CARLY: Jake, you were out there shoveling snow? Of course I'll hire you. How about giving bartending another go? 2014 totally sucked for me. I spent most of it with a psycho and then lost my son and his father in the process. Happy New Year, everybody!
IVY: Kyle, is it okay if I dump you for Nikolas? I met him two seconds ago, but I kinda like him better.
NIKOLAS: Ivy, you don't happen to have a history of conspiring with 9-year-olds, do you? No? Then it's a date!
Tuesday, December 30, 2014
Monday, December 29, 2014
New Year's Wormhole Eve, Part I
Christmas Eve lasted one day, Christmas Day was nonexistent/offscreen, but New Year's Eve will probably give Halloween a run for its money in the Port Chuckles Holiday Time Warp. Badass improviser Jordan spares herself a bullet hole or two by saying she works for "Duke's Organization". Then again, this is Chuckletown, where guns are usually only conversation props. Jake says sayonara to Hotel Liz and hits the road in search of who the hell he really is. Maxie, Lulu, Nathan, and Spinelli are victims of a Gift of the Magi-style travel dilemma. Duke invites Lucy to spend New Year's Eve with him. Agent Sloane appears out of the blue to meet with Anna. Patrick and Sam decide to throw caution to the wind and go for it.
JORDAN: Is that a gun, Julian, or are you happy to see me? Look, I saved your pregnant sister from Sonny's men, so you kinda owe me for that. If you think about it, I did you a favor. Ric is Molly's father. Molly is Alexis's daughter. You do the math. Let's try this. Shoot me and you answer to Duke Lavery's men. Yes, Duke Lavery's men. Duke curses the ground you walk on. He hates you even more than Sonny does. Shoot me and you're a dead man. Anna, you win. I'm in with the Sonny/Duke mafia and TJ will have to wait even longer to find out I'm not a drug dealer.
JULIAN: Jordan, you're kinda gonna have to die. You sprung Ric and my boss is pissed. As usual, he sent me to do his dirty work because he's the biggest coward that walked the face of the earth. Looking for these? You know, Jordan, when you shoot a gun, it helps to have bullets in it. Just a helpful hint. By the way, about Faison, you didn't get the memo. He's left the building, so to speak. How do I know you're working for Lavery? Fine, you live, but I'll be watching you, Robert DeNiro-style. Sorry, Bossman. Jordan lives. We've got a problem.
ANNA: Duke, you know where I stand when it comes to you and your mobbishness. I may have squirreled Faison in a hole, but he deserved it. You are working for a mob kingpin and that's worse than hiding an international terrorist under the stables of a haunted island. So, we're still at a stalemate. Agent Sloane, what gives? You know I don't want to shoot the breeze with you, just as you don't want to shoot the breeze with me, so what's up? Are you looking for other terrorists who have escaped from holes?
DANTE: I swear, Maxie calls Lulu more than the station calls me. Fashion emergency, I presume. What's this about work, Luke? Did Kelly's hire a new BLT artist? You and Tracy are selling derivatives. Fascinating. Should I even ask what you're deriving?
LUKE-ALIKE: It's been fun kibitzing with you and my "daughter" but I've gotta go. Work calls. Yes, I'm gainfully employed, but don't tell Lulu. It's a big surprise, and boy will she be surprised! Tracy and I are going into business together selling derivatives! What are derivatives? Who cares? I leave those details to Tracy. See you around, "son-in-law". Hey, Duke, what's shakin? We have something in common. Faison has masks of both of us. Isn't that hilarious? So Julian, did you finish your "homework"? No? What sort of "problem" do we have?
DUKE: Luke Spencer, do what do I owe this visit? Yes, we have both been victimized by Cesar Faison and latex mask factory, but we have another important thing in common: Our first names rhyme! Why am I not 100% convinced you are Luke Spencer? Hello Anna. Maybe I am working on the wrong side of the law, but I never hid anyone, international terrorist or not, in a hole. Lucy Coe is here to see me. I sure am popular today. What is this, Lucy? You DON'T want to spend New Year's Eve with Scott Baldwin? I'll bite. Why don't you spend New Year's Eve with Port Charles's newest kilted mob boss?
LUCY: Hello, Duke! Hi Anna. Duke, I don't WANT to spend New Year's Eve with Scott. He chose BOOBIE over me and I REFUSE to be BOOBIE's sloppy seconds! So I'm gonna eat cookies, drink wine, and watch Ryan Seacrest. Spend New Years' Eve with YOU? I thought you'd NEVER ask!
AGENT SLOANE: Funny thing happened, Anna. The WSB, headed by your good buddy Frisco Jones, is now investigating ME for conflict of interest! Totes unfair! After all, if anyone has a conflict of interest, it's Frisco, being old, old, OLD friends with YOU!
LULU: Maxie, what's the emergency? Nathan's in PORTLAND? What wrinkle in the space-time continuum made THAT possible? And how did you get HERE so fast? Last I heard, your teleporter was on the fritz and so was Nathan's. Wait, wait, hold the phone! YOUR DAD is the new head of the WSB??? When did this happen? We ARE talking about Frisco and not Mac, right? Any dress would do, Maxie. Nathan thinks you're gorge even in a burlap sack. Nathan himself would be gorge in a burlap sack too, but that's beside the point. How was Portland and little...Georgie? I'm so happy for you even if Georgie used to be my daughter by a different name even though she obvi looked like Spinelli. But I have Rocco now so all is copacetic. Nathan thinks he can make it here by midnight? Awesomesauce!
MAXIE: OMG, Nathan's MISSING! Lulu, you HAVE to come over. I'm at my apartment and Nathan is NOT HERE! No way, he's in PORTLAND? HOW??? I thought his teleporter was just as broken as mine. My dad, the new director of the WSB (surprise, surprise!) helped me fix mine. This SUCKS! We were supposed to spend NEW YEAR'S EVE TOGETHER! WHAT are we going to DO? New Year's Day is NOT New Year's Eve! Nathan? How are you in PORTLAND now? That's totally crazy. If Spinelli can't fix a teleporter, no one can. Your mother-aunt's friend can turn her plane around? She is the BEST! Nathan's mother-aunt's rich friend's plane can get Nathan home by midnight. What should I WEAR? This slinky silver one? This halter? This blue one that goes with my shoes by might be too blue? Come on, Lulu, we used to work for Crimson together. Find your fashion sense ASAP!!!! (at the airport) WHERE'S NATHAN WHERE'S NATHAN WHERE'S NATHAN?????? Nathan? You're still in Portland? Tell Spinelli to kick his brain into turbo and fix that damn teleporter.
NATHAN: So Maxie's back in Port Chuckles? DAMMIT! It's like Gift of the Magi. For a cop, I am very literate. My mother-aunt insisted on the best education money can buy. She also arranged for one of her rich society friends to commandeer her private jet to get me here. I just have to find a way for her to get me back home. So, for a guy with a new girlfriend, you sound really into Maxie, but since you're on the other side of the continent, this new girl must be something special. Maxie, I had the same idea as you and I crossed the country and met your baby-daddy but you're not here. How did you get back home? Well, I'll try to catch Mother-Aunt's rich friend's plane before it leaves the airstrip and if I can, I'll be back by nine. So, Spinelli, I'd love to meet Maxie's daughter. Is she awake? Hey, Georgie. She looks just like Maxie...and you. A lot like you, actually. She's a beautiful, adorable girl and I hope Maxie and I...well, when the time comes. We need to go on our second date first.
SPINELLI: It is most unfortunate that you and Maximista's two planes, or teleporters, crossed in the night--or morning. How did you arrive at our fair city? Your mother as in the most fearsome Dr. Liesl Obrecht? Ah yes, your mother-aunt. Maxie is a unique and luminous creature. At present, I am romantically involved with another lovely, intelligent, and scientifically endowed creature named Ellie. You would like to make Georgie's acquaintance? I shall retrieve her. You are most adept with children. We must depart for the airport with haste.
PATRICK: What about that kiss, Sam? Hey, I'm just glad you haven't written me off completely after the Faison/Jason debacle. Do you want to give this relationship thing a try? I'm game if you are. Let's hit the MetroCourt for the New Year's Eve festivities. After I go perform some brain surgery. See you at nine.
SAM: Patrick, we need to talk about that kiss. Did it mean something. Are we a Samtrick now? Do you want to couple up? You answer first. Okay, I do too. New Year's Eve at the Metro Court. Sounds like fun. I'll find the phantom babysitter for Danny and I'll see you at nine.
JAKE: Uhlizabeth, thanks for putting me up for a month and change, but I'm outta here. Ric said I'm in the way. Besides, I've gotta go find my missing memory and my missing wife and missing kids who are missing me. I'm going to be shoveling some snow on Spoon Island and trying to find a better job. I suck at making martinis so bartending is out of the question. Thanks again, but I really gotta go. Tell the kiddos bye for me.
LIZ: Jake, why are you leaving? You know I have no problem with you staying. I love taking in stray--strangers. Please stay. I would feel totally guilt-ridden if you left because of me and Ric. Please stay, Jake! Pretty please with a cherry on top!
HOSPITAL CLOCK: It's three o'clock. Six hours sucked into the wormhole! It's now nine o'clock. Let the games begin!
JORDAN: Is that a gun, Julian, or are you happy to see me? Look, I saved your pregnant sister from Sonny's men, so you kinda owe me for that. If you think about it, I did you a favor. Ric is Molly's father. Molly is Alexis's daughter. You do the math. Let's try this. Shoot me and you answer to Duke Lavery's men. Yes, Duke Lavery's men. Duke curses the ground you walk on. He hates you even more than Sonny does. Shoot me and you're a dead man. Anna, you win. I'm in with the Sonny/Duke mafia and TJ will have to wait even longer to find out I'm not a drug dealer.
JULIAN: Jordan, you're kinda gonna have to die. You sprung Ric and my boss is pissed. As usual, he sent me to do his dirty work because he's the biggest coward that walked the face of the earth. Looking for these? You know, Jordan, when you shoot a gun, it helps to have bullets in it. Just a helpful hint. By the way, about Faison, you didn't get the memo. He's left the building, so to speak. How do I know you're working for Lavery? Fine, you live, but I'll be watching you, Robert DeNiro-style. Sorry, Bossman. Jordan lives. We've got a problem.
ANNA: Duke, you know where I stand when it comes to you and your mobbishness. I may have squirreled Faison in a hole, but he deserved it. You are working for a mob kingpin and that's worse than hiding an international terrorist under the stables of a haunted island. So, we're still at a stalemate. Agent Sloane, what gives? You know I don't want to shoot the breeze with you, just as you don't want to shoot the breeze with me, so what's up? Are you looking for other terrorists who have escaped from holes?
DANTE: I swear, Maxie calls Lulu more than the station calls me. Fashion emergency, I presume. What's this about work, Luke? Did Kelly's hire a new BLT artist? You and Tracy are selling derivatives. Fascinating. Should I even ask what you're deriving?
LUKE-ALIKE: It's been fun kibitzing with you and my "daughter" but I've gotta go. Work calls. Yes, I'm gainfully employed, but don't tell Lulu. It's a big surprise, and boy will she be surprised! Tracy and I are going into business together selling derivatives! What are derivatives? Who cares? I leave those details to Tracy. See you around, "son-in-law". Hey, Duke, what's shakin? We have something in common. Faison has masks of both of us. Isn't that hilarious? So Julian, did you finish your "homework"? No? What sort of "problem" do we have?
DUKE: Luke Spencer, do what do I owe this visit? Yes, we have both been victimized by Cesar Faison and latex mask factory, but we have another important thing in common: Our first names rhyme! Why am I not 100% convinced you are Luke Spencer? Hello Anna. Maybe I am working on the wrong side of the law, but I never hid anyone, international terrorist or not, in a hole. Lucy Coe is here to see me. I sure am popular today. What is this, Lucy? You DON'T want to spend New Year's Eve with Scott Baldwin? I'll bite. Why don't you spend New Year's Eve with Port Charles's newest kilted mob boss?
LUCY: Hello, Duke! Hi Anna. Duke, I don't WANT to spend New Year's Eve with Scott. He chose BOOBIE over me and I REFUSE to be BOOBIE's sloppy seconds! So I'm gonna eat cookies, drink wine, and watch Ryan Seacrest. Spend New Years' Eve with YOU? I thought you'd NEVER ask!
AGENT SLOANE: Funny thing happened, Anna. The WSB, headed by your good buddy Frisco Jones, is now investigating ME for conflict of interest! Totes unfair! After all, if anyone has a conflict of interest, it's Frisco, being old, old, OLD friends with YOU!
LULU: Maxie, what's the emergency? Nathan's in PORTLAND? What wrinkle in the space-time continuum made THAT possible? And how did you get HERE so fast? Last I heard, your teleporter was on the fritz and so was Nathan's. Wait, wait, hold the phone! YOUR DAD is the new head of the WSB??? When did this happen? We ARE talking about Frisco and not Mac, right? Any dress would do, Maxie. Nathan thinks you're gorge even in a burlap sack. Nathan himself would be gorge in a burlap sack too, but that's beside the point. How was Portland and little...Georgie? I'm so happy for you even if Georgie used to be my daughter by a different name even though she obvi looked like Spinelli. But I have Rocco now so all is copacetic. Nathan thinks he can make it here by midnight? Awesomesauce!
MAXIE: OMG, Nathan's MISSING! Lulu, you HAVE to come over. I'm at my apartment and Nathan is NOT HERE! No way, he's in PORTLAND? HOW??? I thought his teleporter was just as broken as mine. My dad, the new director of the WSB (surprise, surprise!) helped me fix mine. This SUCKS! We were supposed to spend NEW YEAR'S EVE TOGETHER! WHAT are we going to DO? New Year's Day is NOT New Year's Eve! Nathan? How are you in PORTLAND now? That's totally crazy. If Spinelli can't fix a teleporter, no one can. Your mother-aunt's friend can turn her plane around? She is the BEST! Nathan's mother-aunt's rich friend's plane can get Nathan home by midnight. What should I WEAR? This slinky silver one? This halter? This blue one that goes with my shoes by might be too blue? Come on, Lulu, we used to work for Crimson together. Find your fashion sense ASAP!!!! (at the airport) WHERE'S NATHAN WHERE'S NATHAN WHERE'S NATHAN?????? Nathan? You're still in Portland? Tell Spinelli to kick his brain into turbo and fix that damn teleporter.
NATHAN: So Maxie's back in Port Chuckles? DAMMIT! It's like Gift of the Magi. For a cop, I am very literate. My mother-aunt insisted on the best education money can buy. She also arranged for one of her rich society friends to commandeer her private jet to get me here. I just have to find a way for her to get me back home. So, for a guy with a new girlfriend, you sound really into Maxie, but since you're on the other side of the continent, this new girl must be something special. Maxie, I had the same idea as you and I crossed the country and met your baby-daddy but you're not here. How did you get back home? Well, I'll try to catch Mother-Aunt's rich friend's plane before it leaves the airstrip and if I can, I'll be back by nine. So, Spinelli, I'd love to meet Maxie's daughter. Is she awake? Hey, Georgie. She looks just like Maxie...and you. A lot like you, actually. She's a beautiful, adorable girl and I hope Maxie and I...well, when the time comes. We need to go on our second date first.
SPINELLI: It is most unfortunate that you and Maximista's two planes, or teleporters, crossed in the night--or morning. How did you arrive at our fair city? Your mother as in the most fearsome Dr. Liesl Obrecht? Ah yes, your mother-aunt. Maxie is a unique and luminous creature. At present, I am romantically involved with another lovely, intelligent, and scientifically endowed creature named Ellie. You would like to make Georgie's acquaintance? I shall retrieve her. You are most adept with children. We must depart for the airport with haste.
PATRICK: What about that kiss, Sam? Hey, I'm just glad you haven't written me off completely after the Faison/Jason debacle. Do you want to give this relationship thing a try? I'm game if you are. Let's hit the MetroCourt for the New Year's Eve festivities. After I go perform some brain surgery. See you at nine.
SAM: Patrick, we need to talk about that kiss. Did it mean something. Are we a Samtrick now? Do you want to couple up? You answer first. Okay, I do too. New Year's Eve at the Metro Court. Sounds like fun. I'll find the phantom babysitter for Danny and I'll see you at nine.
JAKE: Uhlizabeth, thanks for putting me up for a month and change, but I'm outta here. Ric said I'm in the way. Besides, I've gotta go find my missing memory and my missing wife and missing kids who are missing me. I'm going to be shoveling some snow on Spoon Island and trying to find a better job. I suck at making martinis so bartending is out of the question. Thanks again, but I really gotta go. Tell the kiddos bye for me.
LIZ: Jake, why are you leaving? You know I have no problem with you staying. I love taking in stray--strangers. Please stay. I would feel totally guilt-ridden if you left because of me and Ric. Please stay, Jake! Pretty please with a cherry on top!
HOSPITAL CLOCK: It's three o'clock. Six hours sucked into the wormhole! It's now nine o'clock. Let the games begin!
Friday, December 26, 2014
Step Into The Time Machine
The GH Time Wormhole strikes again. We've skipped over December 25-30 and the flux capacitor has been set to New Year's Eve. Maxie's teleportation device is on the fritz for the beginning of the episode, but it gets fixed by the end. Nathan's was working all along and it just took him to the end of the episode to decide to use it. Jordan is in an undisclosed location, where Dante and Anna try to convince her to switch to Team PCPD and infiltrate Camp Corinthos. Alexis is kibitzing with Duke & Sean. Ric pretty much tells Jake to get out of his way in regards to Liz. Ersatz Luke tells Julian to put up or shut up. Epiphany tells Liz to make up her dang mind between Ric & Jake.
MAXIE: See ya, Spinelli. I'm off to NYE with my honey. Oops! My teleportation device is BROKEN! I have to fly an ACTUAL PLANE! FLIGHT'S CANCELLED? But I HAVE to be back in The Chuckles tonight to ring in the new year with NATHAN!!! Does Portland have a shop where I can take my invisible portable teleportation unit? Awesome, I found my charger. It only takes 5 minutes to charge this thing and I'll be on the other side of the country in 2 seconds. (in Port Chuckles) SURPRISE! Nathan? NATHAN???
SPINELLI: I am loathe to disclose this to you, Maximista, but your flight has been cancelled. The airport is encircled in fog. Look on the less morose side, Maxie. Being inconveniently immobilized in Portland allows you to partake in more time with Georgie. Teleportation units have advanced considerably since I departed Port Charles. It used to take a half hour to charge such a powerful instrument of transportation. (answering the door) Your physique indicates that you are Detective Nathan West. I see you have taken similar advantage of the Invisible Portable Teleportation Device as the fair Maximista. I regret to inform you that Maxie has departed Portland, but since it takes all of two seconds to traverse this expansive nation with the teleportation device, you will be joining her in Port Charles in no time.
NATHAN: Thanks for the lift, Lulu. I sure am psyched for spending New Years Eve with Maxie. It will be our long overdue second date. No Levi, no Judge Walters in the way this time. Thanks for the eats and the bubbly. Maxie? Your plane's fogged in? No, don't try to fly out from another city. We can have our New Year's Eve tomorrow night, even if it won't actually be New Year's Eve. Well, so much for that. Wait a minute. I bet she forgot to charge her teleportation unit! Good thing I've charged mine. Happy New Year, Lulu! (in Portland) Damien Spinelli? Maxie isn't here? I teleported all the way across the country and Maxie isn't here?
LULU: You're very welcome, Nathan. Now don't over-exert yourself on New Year's Eve, if you know what I mean. I know how excited you are to have Maxie back home. I brought you some strawberries and Champagne. Maxie can't make it? That is a bummer, but there's always tomorrow night. I know it won't be the same as New Year's Eve, but your love for Maxie will still be there, right? By the way, your Portable Teleportation Unit is charged, isn't it? Hop in and get your butt to Portland already!
JORDAN: I am SO over this cover. Once I get out of hiding, I'm going to tell TJ everything. Why do I have to stay undercover? I brought Ric home safely. You want me to work for Duke and Shawn, to trade one criminal organization for another? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Duke your boyfriend? If I work for him while I'm undercover for you, I would be helping bring him down. I've got a lot to think about, Anna. Julian, what are you doing here?
ANNA: Jordan, I'm afraid breaking your cover is the last thing you should be doing right now. You need to come work for US and help us bring Sonny's organization down. You'll still be undercover, but you'll be switching sides. After all, it's not as if you haven't done so already by helping rescue Ric. The Jeromes are after you and the DEA can't offer you any protection anymore because you're no longer a DEA agent. Think about it, Jordan, but think quickly.
DANTE: I may be Sonny's son, Jordan, but I'm also on the opposite side of the law from him and I have no qualms about bringing him down.
SHAWN: I'm worried about Jordan. Carlos said in no uncertain terms that she's a dead woman. She betrayed the Jeromes by helping me save Ric. Don't thank us for saving Ric, Alexis. Thank Sonny. We did it on is orders.
ALEXIS: I wanted to thank you for bringing Ric back to Molly. You should have seen the look on her face when she answered the door and saw her father, alive and right in front of her. Ric has been splitting time between her and Elizabeth. Yes, Duke, I do have a problem with dating men who are involved in the mob. Julian and I are no longer together. He cannot give up the mob life, so there's no future for us.
DUKE: It's over between Anna and me too. She didn't want to be with anyone living on the other side of the law, but working for Sonny is my chance to bring the Jeromes down, to avenge all they did to me and my family.
LIZ: A funny thing happened on Christmas Eve, Epiphany. Ric appeared on my doorstep, ALIVE! Just as Jake and I were standing underneath the origami mistletoe. Before he "died" Ric and I were reconnecting and building a life together. He still loves me and I still love him, but...then there's Jake. I'm not sure how I feel about Jake. I feel like we're connecting, but...well, RIC! I have no clue what Jake's plans are for New Year's Eve. He's been making himself scarce ever since Ric came back. I think he might be a little scared of him.
EPIPHANY: You like my specs? Milo got them for me. Speaking of men, how are things with you & Jake. Uh oh, looks like you've got TWO men chasing after you. Nice problem to have. The question is, which one do YOU want? Jake's been living in your house for how long and you don't know what his plans are for New Year's? What, is he all of the sudden walking around in a cloak of invisibility? You need to find out what he's up to and figure out which man you want to be ringing in 2015 with so I'm giving you the rest of the day off.
RIC: So, Jake, here's the deal: Elizabeth and I have something real between us. Now that I'm not so dead, we want to pick up where we left off. Two's company, pal. Three's a crowd. For all you know, you have a wife and kids somewhere. Why don't you go searching for your missing memory so you can find them? Helpful hint, try the last place you remember seeing it. If not, dial it and listen for the ring. You can always put it on the back of a milk carton. Good luck, man.
JAKE: Hey, Ric. Uhlizabeth is at work. Why do you want to see me? Yeah, I got the feeling you guys were close. That's why I went to Wyndemere and shoveled snow for Helena Cassadine. I wanted to stay out of your way. Maybe I do have a wife and family somewhere. Hell if I know. My memory's AWOL. Last place I saw it? Probably under the SUV that ran me over. Maybe it got squooshed. I'll make a few phone calls, if I can remember which numbers to dial. Is it 1-800-WHO THE HELL AM I? Um, Uhlizabeth, I'm moving out. Your boyfriend doesn't want me to live here.
LUKE-ALIKE: Hey Jules, I hear Jordan Ashford is still breathing. I have a problem with that. Why haven't you offed her yet? Whatsamatter? You don't have the stomach for terminating traitors? The dog ate your trigger finger? Time's a wastin'! Get your murderous mobster on!
JULIAN: No, I haven't done it yet. I don't know where Jordan is. By the way, when have YOU ever done the dirty work in this organization? You sit there like some sort of king ordering me and Carlos around and you up and disappear whenever the hell you feel like it. Oh, and you don't even bother telling us who you really are. Fine, fine, I'll go kill Jordan Ashford. Jordan, going somewhere?
MAXIE: See ya, Spinelli. I'm off to NYE with my honey. Oops! My teleportation device is BROKEN! I have to fly an ACTUAL PLANE! FLIGHT'S CANCELLED? But I HAVE to be back in The Chuckles tonight to ring in the new year with NATHAN!!! Does Portland have a shop where I can take my invisible portable teleportation unit? Awesome, I found my charger. It only takes 5 minutes to charge this thing and I'll be on the other side of the country in 2 seconds. (in Port Chuckles) SURPRISE! Nathan? NATHAN???
SPINELLI: I am loathe to disclose this to you, Maximista, but your flight has been cancelled. The airport is encircled in fog. Look on the less morose side, Maxie. Being inconveniently immobilized in Portland allows you to partake in more time with Georgie. Teleportation units have advanced considerably since I departed Port Charles. It used to take a half hour to charge such a powerful instrument of transportation. (answering the door) Your physique indicates that you are Detective Nathan West. I see you have taken similar advantage of the Invisible Portable Teleportation Device as the fair Maximista. I regret to inform you that Maxie has departed Portland, but since it takes all of two seconds to traverse this expansive nation with the teleportation device, you will be joining her in Port Charles in no time.
NATHAN: Thanks for the lift, Lulu. I sure am psyched for spending New Years Eve with Maxie. It will be our long overdue second date. No Levi, no Judge Walters in the way this time. Thanks for the eats and the bubbly. Maxie? Your plane's fogged in? No, don't try to fly out from another city. We can have our New Year's Eve tomorrow night, even if it won't actually be New Year's Eve. Well, so much for that. Wait a minute. I bet she forgot to charge her teleportation unit! Good thing I've charged mine. Happy New Year, Lulu! (in Portland) Damien Spinelli? Maxie isn't here? I teleported all the way across the country and Maxie isn't here?
LULU: You're very welcome, Nathan. Now don't over-exert yourself on New Year's Eve, if you know what I mean. I know how excited you are to have Maxie back home. I brought you some strawberries and Champagne. Maxie can't make it? That is a bummer, but there's always tomorrow night. I know it won't be the same as New Year's Eve, but your love for Maxie will still be there, right? By the way, your Portable Teleportation Unit is charged, isn't it? Hop in and get your butt to Portland already!
JORDAN: I am SO over this cover. Once I get out of hiding, I'm going to tell TJ everything. Why do I have to stay undercover? I brought Ric home safely. You want me to work for Duke and Shawn, to trade one criminal organization for another? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Duke your boyfriend? If I work for him while I'm undercover for you, I would be helping bring him down. I've got a lot to think about, Anna. Julian, what are you doing here?
ANNA: Jordan, I'm afraid breaking your cover is the last thing you should be doing right now. You need to come work for US and help us bring Sonny's organization down. You'll still be undercover, but you'll be switching sides. After all, it's not as if you haven't done so already by helping rescue Ric. The Jeromes are after you and the DEA can't offer you any protection anymore because you're no longer a DEA agent. Think about it, Jordan, but think quickly.
DANTE: I may be Sonny's son, Jordan, but I'm also on the opposite side of the law from him and I have no qualms about bringing him down.
SHAWN: I'm worried about Jordan. Carlos said in no uncertain terms that she's a dead woman. She betrayed the Jeromes by helping me save Ric. Don't thank us for saving Ric, Alexis. Thank Sonny. We did it on is orders.
ALEXIS: I wanted to thank you for bringing Ric back to Molly. You should have seen the look on her face when she answered the door and saw her father, alive and right in front of her. Ric has been splitting time between her and Elizabeth. Yes, Duke, I do have a problem with dating men who are involved in the mob. Julian and I are no longer together. He cannot give up the mob life, so there's no future for us.
DUKE: It's over between Anna and me too. She didn't want to be with anyone living on the other side of the law, but working for Sonny is my chance to bring the Jeromes down, to avenge all they did to me and my family.
LIZ: A funny thing happened on Christmas Eve, Epiphany. Ric appeared on my doorstep, ALIVE! Just as Jake and I were standing underneath the origami mistletoe. Before he "died" Ric and I were reconnecting and building a life together. He still loves me and I still love him, but...then there's Jake. I'm not sure how I feel about Jake. I feel like we're connecting, but...well, RIC! I have no clue what Jake's plans are for New Year's Eve. He's been making himself scarce ever since Ric came back. I think he might be a little scared of him.
EPIPHANY: You like my specs? Milo got them for me. Speaking of men, how are things with you & Jake. Uh oh, looks like you've got TWO men chasing after you. Nice problem to have. The question is, which one do YOU want? Jake's been living in your house for how long and you don't know what his plans are for New Year's? What, is he all of the sudden walking around in a cloak of invisibility? You need to find out what he's up to and figure out which man you want to be ringing in 2015 with so I'm giving you the rest of the day off.
RIC: So, Jake, here's the deal: Elizabeth and I have something real between us. Now that I'm not so dead, we want to pick up where we left off. Two's company, pal. Three's a crowd. For all you know, you have a wife and kids somewhere. Why don't you go searching for your missing memory so you can find them? Helpful hint, try the last place you remember seeing it. If not, dial it and listen for the ring. You can always put it on the back of a milk carton. Good luck, man.
JAKE: Hey, Ric. Uhlizabeth is at work. Why do you want to see me? Yeah, I got the feeling you guys were close. That's why I went to Wyndemere and shoveled snow for Helena Cassadine. I wanted to stay out of your way. Maybe I do have a wife and family somewhere. Hell if I know. My memory's AWOL. Last place I saw it? Probably under the SUV that ran me over. Maybe it got squooshed. I'll make a few phone calls, if I can remember which numbers to dial. Is it 1-800-WHO THE HELL AM I? Um, Uhlizabeth, I'm moving out. Your boyfriend doesn't want me to live here.
LUKE-ALIKE: Hey Jules, I hear Jordan Ashford is still breathing. I have a problem with that. Why haven't you offed her yet? Whatsamatter? You don't have the stomach for terminating traitors? The dog ate your trigger finger? Time's a wastin'! Get your murderous mobster on!
JULIAN: No, I haven't done it yet. I don't know where Jordan is. By the way, when have YOU ever done the dirty work in this organization? You sit there like some sort of king ordering me and Carlos around and you up and disappear whenever the hell you feel like it. Oh, and you don't even bother telling us who you really are. Fine, fine, I'll go kill Jordan Ashford. Jordan, going somewhere?
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Merry Krampus!
Leave it to Dr. Obrecht to dress up as the German Christmas Ogre and scare the smallest Port Chuckleheads! Maxie visited Spinelli and Mini Spinelli, a.k.a. Georgie, who bears an uncanny resemblance to her TV dad. Ric has a happy reunion with Molly, then Liz. Sam and Patrick are back to being besties with benefits. St Nikolas hands out presents after Monica calms the scared kiddos down. Julian and Alexis have their 250th conversation about him being in the mob.
LIESL OBRECHT: A HA HA HA! It's KRAMPUS, ZE ANTI-SANTA CLAUS! ZAT'S KRAAAAM-POOOS! KRAMPUS comes from ze South Pole and he EATS ze naughty, bratty children. He CRUNCHES ZERE BONES!!! American kinder aah too soft. Ze German kinder love a good, SCARY story! KRAMPUS LIVES! Nassan, vat aah you doing out of bed. You aah supposed to be healing. Get back in bed before Krampus eats you! Mutter vas happy to help you, Nassan. All mutter had to do vas light a fire under Dr. Quartermaine. If she failed to freeze out ze judge until he changed his mind about Miss Jones, zen she would be replaced. I love you, Nassan. Mutter has a song for you. I vill even sing it in English.
NIKOLAS: Spencer, remember, mum's the word on your great-grandmother Medusa spending Christmas at Wyndemere. I will make sure the snakes stay hidden. Dr. Obrecht, that's enough with Krampus. Spencer, Emma, Cameron, there is no such thing as Krampus. That's what happens when Great Grandmother's best friend tells the Christmas story. (in Santa Suit) Ho Ho Ho! I'm St. Nikolas! Otherwise known as Santa Claus! Krampus is on the naughty list!
LIZ: What the hell is Obrecht doing scaring the kids like that? Jake, what do you know about this origami mistletoe? Are you sure it was Cameron's idea? I do care about you, Jake, it's just that -- RIC??? YOU'RE ALIVE? How is that possible? I missed you SOOO MUCH!!!!
JAKE: That's funny, I don't remember a Krampus. Then again, what do I remember? No thanks, Doc. No shrink needed here. One thing I do remember, Uhlizabeth, is that you are supposed to kiss if you find yourself under a mistletoe. It's bad luck if you don't. You know, I sorta kinda like-like you since you kept me company in the hospital, invited me to live in your house, and had hospital stairs picnic lunches with me. What about you? Do you like-like me back? Who's this dude? Don't mind me. I've got kiddie bikes to build.
SAM: Ric, I know things are still totes awkward between us but I'm happy that you made Molly's Christmas wish come true by, you know, not being dead. I'm going to go take Danny to the GH Christmas party to see Santa now that he can actually tell the big guy what he wants. Uh oh, Jake sighting. And guess who's sidling up to defend him. Merry Christmas, Patrick! I'm glad I'm not pissed at you anymore. You got me a cute little Christmas present? A keychain from the Space Cake capital of the world! We'll always have Amsterdam.
PATRICK: Hey, Obrecht, can we turn Krampus down a notch? The only kid who's not scared of that monster is a child of the corn. That should say something. I'm so glad to be back on your nice list, Sam. That naughty list was no fun at all. Got you a little something. I was going to give it to you in Amsterdam but I forgot. Well, whaddaya know? A mistletoe! Merry Christmas, Sam!
MOLLY: Dad, it's so good to have you alive and home for Christmas! I thought I'd NEVER see you again! For real! I read your letter over and over again. By the way, here's your wallet. Have you talked to Elizabeth yet? You need to let her know you're alive. It will make it the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER for her too. TJ, you won't BELIEVE what I got for Christmas this year! My DAD IS ALIVE! He was just here, but I told him he has to see Elizabeth. What is this? Awww, you are so sweet, TJ! A picture of me and my dad. This really is THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!
RIC: It sure is great to be with you again, Molly. I missed you so much when I was in Witness Protection going by the name of Joe Blow. Danny's getting so big! How old is he now? 3? 4? 12? Sam, I am happy that Molly is so happy. Molly, I can see Elizabeth tomorrow. Today I want to spend with you. Are you sure you don't mind if I see her? I will be back, Molly. Merry Christmas, Elizabeth! I'm alive! Who's your friend? The gunshot was staged and I was in Witness Protection for a few months. That totally sucked because I missed you and Molly. We were just starting a new relationship when the frame-up happened. Can we pick up where we left off?
JULIAN: Alexis? I thought you were through with me. Yes, I knew about Ric, but I was secretly hoping Carlos wouldn't shoot him. You know my deal, Alexis. I am a man of the mob. Can you accept that? I know it isn't easy to quit me. You've seen my body. Either we have something together, or we don't, Alexis.
ALEXIS: Julian, is there any chance that, being Christmas, you might ditch the mob and we can be together again? I miss what we have. What we had. But I can't have you if you're in the mob. We need to stop going in circles.
NATHAN: Come on, Maxie! You can do it. Knock on that door and see your daughter. Oh boy, what is my mother up to? I think she has Halloween and Christmas confused. Mother, that sure was interesting. I know, I know I'm supposed to be in bed but this Krampus guy was making so much noise I had to come out and see what was up. Thanks for what you did for Maxie. How did you get Judge Walters to change his mind? Hey, Maxie! Hey Georgie! Merry Christmas! Yes, mother. It is our first Noel.
MONICA: Kids, you can calm down now. Krampus has left the building. Here comes Santa Claus! Maxie reminds you of your daughter, so that's why you were so harsh on her? I can understand what it's like losing a child. I've lost all three of mine.
JUDGE WALTERS: Yes, Maxie reminds me of Kayla, who thought the rules didn't apply to her. That ended up costing her her life. I did what I did to teach Maxie a lesson I couldn't teach my own daughter until it was too late.
MAXIE: Nathan, I'm here in Portland. Nice bib! I'm sooo nervous! What if she hates me? Okay, here goes. Merry Christmas, Spinelli! Where's my little Georgie? She is sooooo cute and she's a pint-sized fashionista already! Wish Ellie a merry Christmas for me, Spinelli. Hey Georgie, I have someone I want you to meet. Nathan, here she is. Here is my little Georgie! THIS IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!
SPINELLI: Merry Christmas Maximista! My heart is filled with warmth at your arrival. Ellie is at the lab and she took little Georgie with her. Just jesting! Ellie is at the lab, but Georgie is present. Georgie, come here and meet your mother. She lights up at your countenance! That's Ellie. She wants me to inform her how the reunion proceeded.
SPENCER: I get it dad. No Great Grandma Medusa stories. WHAT IS THAT??? It's not a Chupacabra but it's even scarier than Great Grandmother! A Krampus? What's a Krampus?
EMMA: AAAAGGGGHHHH! Don't eat me, Krampus! Don't eat me!
CAMERON: I've been good, Krampus! Don't eat me either!
JOSSLYN: What are you all freaking out about? I think Krampus is hilarious! Besides, he doesn't like corn so I'm safe.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!!!!! Stay on Krampus's good side... He's in with Helena, Jerry, Obrecht, Faison, and the faux Luke!
LIESL OBRECHT: A HA HA HA! It's KRAMPUS, ZE ANTI-SANTA CLAUS! ZAT'S KRAAAAM-POOOS! KRAMPUS comes from ze South Pole and he EATS ze naughty, bratty children. He CRUNCHES ZERE BONES!!! American kinder aah too soft. Ze German kinder love a good, SCARY story! KRAMPUS LIVES! Nassan, vat aah you doing out of bed. You aah supposed to be healing. Get back in bed before Krampus eats you! Mutter vas happy to help you, Nassan. All mutter had to do vas light a fire under Dr. Quartermaine. If she failed to freeze out ze judge until he changed his mind about Miss Jones, zen she would be replaced. I love you, Nassan. Mutter has a song for you. I vill even sing it in English.
NIKOLAS: Spencer, remember, mum's the word on your great-grandmother Medusa spending Christmas at Wyndemere. I will make sure the snakes stay hidden. Dr. Obrecht, that's enough with Krampus. Spencer, Emma, Cameron, there is no such thing as Krampus. That's what happens when Great Grandmother's best friend tells the Christmas story. (in Santa Suit) Ho Ho Ho! I'm St. Nikolas! Otherwise known as Santa Claus! Krampus is on the naughty list!
LIZ: What the hell is Obrecht doing scaring the kids like that? Jake, what do you know about this origami mistletoe? Are you sure it was Cameron's idea? I do care about you, Jake, it's just that -- RIC??? YOU'RE ALIVE? How is that possible? I missed you SOOO MUCH!!!!
JAKE: That's funny, I don't remember a Krampus. Then again, what do I remember? No thanks, Doc. No shrink needed here. One thing I do remember, Uhlizabeth, is that you are supposed to kiss if you find yourself under a mistletoe. It's bad luck if you don't. You know, I sorta kinda like-like you since you kept me company in the hospital, invited me to live in your house, and had hospital stairs picnic lunches with me. What about you? Do you like-like me back? Who's this dude? Don't mind me. I've got kiddie bikes to build.
SAM: Ric, I know things are still totes awkward between us but I'm happy that you made Molly's Christmas wish come true by, you know, not being dead. I'm going to go take Danny to the GH Christmas party to see Santa now that he can actually tell the big guy what he wants. Uh oh, Jake sighting. And guess who's sidling up to defend him. Merry Christmas, Patrick! I'm glad I'm not pissed at you anymore. You got me a cute little Christmas present? A keychain from the Space Cake capital of the world! We'll always have Amsterdam.
PATRICK: Hey, Obrecht, can we turn Krampus down a notch? The only kid who's not scared of that monster is a child of the corn. That should say something. I'm so glad to be back on your nice list, Sam. That naughty list was no fun at all. Got you a little something. I was going to give it to you in Amsterdam but I forgot. Well, whaddaya know? A mistletoe! Merry Christmas, Sam!
MOLLY: Dad, it's so good to have you alive and home for Christmas! I thought I'd NEVER see you again! For real! I read your letter over and over again. By the way, here's your wallet. Have you talked to Elizabeth yet? You need to let her know you're alive. It will make it the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER for her too. TJ, you won't BELIEVE what I got for Christmas this year! My DAD IS ALIVE! He was just here, but I told him he has to see Elizabeth. What is this? Awww, you are so sweet, TJ! A picture of me and my dad. This really is THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!
RIC: It sure is great to be with you again, Molly. I missed you so much when I was in Witness Protection going by the name of Joe Blow. Danny's getting so big! How old is he now? 3? 4? 12? Sam, I am happy that Molly is so happy. Molly, I can see Elizabeth tomorrow. Today I want to spend with you. Are you sure you don't mind if I see her? I will be back, Molly. Merry Christmas, Elizabeth! I'm alive! Who's your friend? The gunshot was staged and I was in Witness Protection for a few months. That totally sucked because I missed you and Molly. We were just starting a new relationship when the frame-up happened. Can we pick up where we left off?
JULIAN: Alexis? I thought you were through with me. Yes, I knew about Ric, but I was secretly hoping Carlos wouldn't shoot him. You know my deal, Alexis. I am a man of the mob. Can you accept that? I know it isn't easy to quit me. You've seen my body. Either we have something together, or we don't, Alexis.
ALEXIS: Julian, is there any chance that, being Christmas, you might ditch the mob and we can be together again? I miss what we have. What we had. But I can't have you if you're in the mob. We need to stop going in circles.
NATHAN: Come on, Maxie! You can do it. Knock on that door and see your daughter. Oh boy, what is my mother up to? I think she has Halloween and Christmas confused. Mother, that sure was interesting. I know, I know I'm supposed to be in bed but this Krampus guy was making so much noise I had to come out and see what was up. Thanks for what you did for Maxie. How did you get Judge Walters to change his mind? Hey, Maxie! Hey Georgie! Merry Christmas! Yes, mother. It is our first Noel.
MONICA: Kids, you can calm down now. Krampus has left the building. Here comes Santa Claus! Maxie reminds you of your daughter, so that's why you were so harsh on her? I can understand what it's like losing a child. I've lost all three of mine.
JUDGE WALTERS: Yes, Maxie reminds me of Kayla, who thought the rules didn't apply to her. That ended up costing her her life. I did what I did to teach Maxie a lesson I couldn't teach my own daughter until it was too late.
MAXIE: Nathan, I'm here in Portland. Nice bib! I'm sooo nervous! What if she hates me? Okay, here goes. Merry Christmas, Spinelli! Where's my little Georgie? She is sooooo cute and she's a pint-sized fashionista already! Wish Ellie a merry Christmas for me, Spinelli. Hey Georgie, I have someone I want you to meet. Nathan, here she is. Here is my little Georgie! THIS IS THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!!!
SPINELLI: Merry Christmas Maximista! My heart is filled with warmth at your arrival. Ellie is at the lab and she took little Georgie with her. Just jesting! Ellie is at the lab, but Georgie is present. Georgie, come here and meet your mother. She lights up at your countenance! That's Ellie. She wants me to inform her how the reunion proceeded.
SPENCER: I get it dad. No Great Grandma Medusa stories. WHAT IS THAT??? It's not a Chupacabra but it's even scarier than Great Grandmother! A Krampus? What's a Krampus?
EMMA: AAAAGGGGHHHH! Don't eat me, Krampus! Don't eat me!
CAMERON: I've been good, Krampus! Don't eat me either!
JOSSLYN: What are you all freaking out about? I think Krampus is hilarious! Besides, he doesn't like corn so I'm safe.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY!!!!! Stay on Krampus's good side... He's in with Helena, Jerry, Obrecht, Faison, and the faux Luke!
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
General Hospital 2014 Year In Review
Inspired by JibJab's annual Year In Review, I have written a song to sum up 2014 on GH. I don't have the singing voice to record the song, nor the tech savvy to put together a video like that, but I have words! Words and pictures!
It All Went Down in 2014, sung to the tune of "The Times, They Are A Changin'" by Bob Dylan
It All Went Down in 2014, sung to the tune of "The Times, They Are A Changin'" by Bob Dylan
Come gather
Port Chuckleheads, lend me an ear
As I sing you a
song of an outrageous year
Unfreezings,
kidnappings and crazies to spare
There were
murders, mob wars, and Crypt Babies
Add non-weddings,
fugitives, estrangements in there
It all went
down in twenty-fourteen!
Heather snatched Carly and Robin skipped town
Luke fell into
a trap, he’s still gagged and bound
Dante’s Ben’s
father ‘cuz Liz snooped around
The kids were
scared of Chupacabras
Alexis learned
Ric Lansing is back in town
It all went
down in twenty-fourteen!
AJ told Ava he knew what she did
Sonny then shot
him and soon he was dead
He went to the
funeral to comfort his kid
And then he and
Ava had crypt sex
When Morgan
found out he went and flipped his lid
It all went
down in twenty-fourteen!
Nathan found Silas an innocent man
He didn’t drug
Nina or kill that pill man
His
mother-in-law almost put drugs in Sam
It was she who
caused Nina Clay’s coma
She told Nathan
she was not mommy, but aunt
It all went
down in twenty-fourteen!
A doppelganger
of Luke staked his claim
On ELQ,
Julian’s part of his game
He got hitched
to Tracy, no-one knows his name
He’s in with
Helena and Jerry
Everyone thought
he was Faison, for shame!
It all went
down in twenty-fourteen!
Maxie went soul-searching and she brought back
A smarmy fake
Aussie, who people skills lacked
On their wedding
day he went on the attack
He kidnapped
Maxie and Lulu
His jeweled
sword Maxie plunged into his back
It all went down
in twenty-fourteen!
At Crichton
Clark clinic, they emptied the room
Where Nina was
staying, so it was assumed
And Victor was
leading a legion of doom
There were
hostages in elevators
They all got
rescued before it went clink-BOOM!
It all went down
in twenty-fourteen!
Sonny found out
Ava offed his main squeeze
When he tried to
shoot her she said “Sonny, please!”
A bun’s in my
oven, so he’s like “Oh jeez!”
I can’t shoot
her if she’s really pregnant
So I’ll have to
keep her and hide all the keys
It all went down
in twenty-fourteen!
Franco was jealous when Carly would stray
From her ex
Sonny, could not stay away
He hid a spycam
on her neck and pressed “play”
He proposed to
her, then he said “Hell, no!”
He played
footage proving Sonny killed AJ
It all went down
in twenty-fourteen!
Nina awoke from
her two-decade snooze
To win back her Silas,
a wheelchair she used
She kept a
revenge list ‘cuz she felt abused
She went off the
rails when she was found out
She stole Ava’s
baby, her mind she did lose
It all went down in twenty-fourteen!
Ric has been
rescued and Sonny’s in jail
A guy named
Jake’s lost ‘cuz his memory’s failed
Faison’s skipped
town and for Franco, no bail
Helena’s back
plotting and scheming
And the year
twenty-fourteen’s ship will soon be sailed
What will happen
in twenty-fifteen?
What will happen
in twenty-fifteen?
There's plenty I missed, but so much happened that if I included it all, the song would go on for days! What a year 2014 was in The Chuckles!
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