Step Into The Time Machine

The GH Time Wormhole strikes again.  We've skipped over December 25-30 and the flux capacitor has been set to New Year's Eve.  Maxie's teleportation device is on the fritz for the beginning of the episode, but it gets fixed by the end.  Nathan's was working all along and it just took him to the end of the episode to decide to use it.   Jordan is in an undisclosed location, where Dante and Anna try to convince her to switch to Team PCPD and infiltrate Camp Corinthos.  Alexis is kibitzing with Duke & Sean.  Ric pretty much tells Jake to get out of his way in regards to Liz.  Ersatz Luke tells Julian to put up or shut up.   Epiphany tells Liz to make up her dang mind between Ric & Jake. 

MAXIE:  See ya, Spinelli.  I'm off to NYE with my honey.  Oops!  My teleportation device is BROKEN!   I have to fly an ACTUAL PLANE!   FLIGHT'S CANCELLED?   But I HAVE to be back in The Chuckles tonight to ring in the new year with NATHAN!!!   Does Portland have a shop where I can take my invisible portable teleportation unit?    Awesome, I found my charger.   It only takes 5 minutes to charge this thing and I'll be on the other side of the country in 2 seconds.  (in Port Chuckles) SURPRISE!   Nathan?   NATHAN???  

SPINELLI:   I am loathe to disclose this to you, Maximista, but your flight has been cancelled.   The airport is encircled in fog.   Look on the less morose side, Maxie.   Being inconveniently immobilized in Portland allows you to partake in more time with Georgie.  Teleportation units have advanced considerably since I departed Port Charles.  It used to take a half hour to charge such a powerful instrument of transportation.   (answering the door) Your physique indicates that you are Detective Nathan West.  I see you have taken similar advantage of the Invisible Portable Teleportation Device as the fair Maximista.  I regret to inform you that Maxie has departed Portland, but since it takes all of two seconds to traverse this expansive nation with the teleportation device, you will be joining her in Port Charles in no time. 

NATHAN:  Thanks for the lift, Lulu.  I sure am psyched for spending New Years Eve with Maxie.   It will be our long overdue second date.  No Levi, no Judge Walters in the way this time.   Thanks for the eats and the bubbly.   Maxie?   Your plane's fogged in?   No, don't try to fly out from another city.  We can have our New Year's Eve tomorrow night, even if it won't actually be New Year's Eve.   Well, so much for that.   Wait a minute.  I bet she forgot to charge her teleportation unit!  Good thing I've charged mine.  Happy New Year, Lulu!    (in Portland)  Damien Spinelli?   Maxie isn't here?   I teleported all the way across the country and Maxie isn't here?  

LULU:   You're very welcome, Nathan.   Now don't over-exert yourself on New Year's Eve, if you know what I mean.  I know how excited you are to have Maxie back home.   I brought you some strawberries and Champagne.   Maxie can't make it?   That is a bummer, but there's always tomorrow night.  I know it won't be the same as New Year's Eve, but your love for Maxie will still be there, right?   By the way, your Portable Teleportation Unit is charged, isn't it?   Hop in and get your butt to Portland already!  

JORDAN:  I am SO over this cover.   Once I get out of hiding, I'm going to tell TJ everything.  Why do I have to stay undercover?  I brought Ric home safely.  You want me to work for Duke and Shawn, to trade one criminal organization for another?   Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't Duke your boyfriend?   If I work for him while I'm undercover for you, I would be helping bring him down.   I've got a lot to think about, Anna.   Julian, what are you doing here? 

ANNA:  Jordan, I'm afraid breaking your cover is the last thing you should be doing right now.   You need to come work for US and help us bring Sonny's organization down.   You'll still be undercover, but you'll be switching sides.  After all, it's not as if you haven't done so already by helping rescue Ric.   The Jeromes are after you and the DEA can't offer you any protection anymore because you're no longer a DEA agent.   Think about it, Jordan, but think quickly.  

DANTE:  I may be Sonny's son, Jordan, but I'm also on the opposite side of the law from him and I have no qualms about bringing him down. 

SHAWN:  I'm worried about Jordan.   Carlos said in no uncertain terms that she's a dead woman.   She betrayed the Jeromes by helping me save Ric.   Don't thank us for saving Ric, Alexis.  Thank Sonny.  We did it on is orders. 

ALEXIS:  I wanted to thank you for bringing Ric back to Molly.   You should have seen the look on her face when she answered the door and saw her father, alive and right in front of her.   Ric has been splitting time between her and Elizabeth.   Yes, Duke, I do have a problem with dating men who are involved in the mob.   Julian and I are no longer together.  He cannot give up the mob life, so there's no future for us. 

DUKE:  It's over between Anna and me too.  She didn't want to be with anyone living on the other side of the law, but working for Sonny is my chance to bring the Jeromes down, to avenge all they did to me and my family.  

LIZ:  A funny thing happened on Christmas Eve, Epiphany.   Ric appeared on my doorstep, ALIVE!   Just as Jake and I were standing underneath the origami mistletoe.   Before he "died" Ric and I were reconnecting and building a life together.  He still loves me and I still love him, but...then there's Jake.   I'm not sure how I feel about Jake.  I feel like we're connecting, but...well, RIC!   I have no clue what Jake's plans are for New Year's Eve.  He's been making himself scarce ever since Ric came back.  I think he might be a little scared of him.  

EPIPHANY:  You like my specs?   Milo got them for me.  Speaking of men, how are things with you & Jake.   Uh oh, looks like you've got TWO men chasing after you.  Nice problem to have.  The question is, which one do YOU want?   Jake's been living in your house for how long and you don't know what his plans are for New Year's?   What, is he all of the sudden walking around in a cloak of invisibility?   You need to find out what he's up to and figure out which man you want to be ringing in 2015 with so I'm giving you the rest of the day off.  

RIC:  So, Jake, here's the deal:  Elizabeth and I have something real between us.   Now that I'm not so dead, we want to pick up where we left off.   Two's company, pal.  Three's a crowd.   For all you know, you have a wife and kids somewhere.   Why don't you go searching for your missing memory so you can find them?   Helpful hint, try the last place you remember seeing it.   If not, dial it and listen for the ring.   You can always put it on the back of a milk carton.   Good luck, man.  

JAKE:  Hey, Ric.  Uhlizabeth is at work.   Why do you want to see me?   Yeah, I got the feeling you guys were close.  That's why I went to Wyndemere and shoveled snow for Helena Cassadine.   I wanted to stay out of your way.   Maybe I do have a wife and family somewhere.  Hell if I know.  My memory's AWOL.   Last place I saw it?  Probably under the SUV that ran me over.   Maybe it got squooshed.   I'll make a few phone calls, if I can remember which numbers to dial.   Is it 1-800-WHO THE HELL AM I?   Um, Uhlizabeth, I'm moving out.  Your boyfriend doesn't want me to live here. 

LUKE-ALIKE:  Hey Jules, I hear Jordan Ashford is still breathing.   I have a problem with that.  Why haven't you offed her yet?   Whatsamatter?  You don't have the stomach for terminating traitors?  The dog ate your trigger finger?   Time's a wastin'!  Get your murderous mobster on!

JULIAN:  No, I haven't done it yet.  I don't know where Jordan is.   By the way, when have YOU ever done the dirty work in this organization?   You sit there like some sort of king ordering me and Carlos around and you up and disappear whenever the hell you feel like it.   Oh, and you don't even bother telling us who you really are.   Fine, fine, I'll go kill Jordan Ashford.   Jordan, going somewhere?