Standoff north of the border: Franco is confronted by Dante and the Canadian mounties. Silas tricks Nina into handing over Bionic Baby. Ava gets to hold her, but as soon as she passes the kid to Morgan, she gets cuffed. Johnny taunts Sonny, who is taking weaponizing lessons from Nina. Jake shows off his mad Soldier Boy skillz to Carly when Carrrrrlos shows up to threaten her. Sam and Liz get into it over Jake. Alexis tries to pry information about Ric's disappearance out of Julian.
FRANCO: Hey, look, it's the Canadian Mounties! Nice suits boys. What are you guys and Sonny's spawn doing here? Surrender the baby? Sure, if you want to make a cake. And here comes my lying ex Ava and another one of Sonny's spawn. Hi Kiki! Want the baby, Ava? Catch her! Ha ha ha! I wouldn't throw an actual BABY! Wanna make Christmas cookies? Five pounds of flour comes in handy this time of year. Whoa whoa whoa, back off, Morgan! You really are Sonny's kid. Nina and I are raising the Bionic Baby Jamie because Ava, you're going to prison and Morgan, you're, like 15 and have a bad temper. Well, since YOU asked, Kiki, Nina's upstairs with the REAL baby. Beware of infants in masks! Ha ha ha! I do read the paper, you know. Kiki, I want you to know, I didn't do this for myself. This was all for Nina. See how selfless I am?
NINA: Silas? You can't be here. Franco might find you when he comes back. He and I have a bitchin' little family going. Really, Silas? Silas, this is my baby. Mine and Franco's. I know I'm not the biological mother of this baby, but she's the baby I was supposed to have with YOU. Do you mean it, Silas? You want to raise this baby with me? Okay, I'll let you hold the baby. Her name is Jamie and she's BIONIC! Wait! You can't give her to Ava! GIMME MY BABY! GIMME MY BABY! You TRICKED ME, Silas and you're back to the top of MY LIST! I'M GONNA KILL YOU! GIMME MY BABY! GIMME MY BABY!!! I WANT MY BABY BACK BABY BACK BABY BACK!
SILAS: This is the place. And here is Franco, right on cue. Nina. Nina, open up. It's your husband, Silas. Look, Nina, I'm sorry I hurt you and lied to you. How about we start fresh, raise this baby, just the two of us? Yes, I am serious, Nina. We should have had a baby together. Now, we have one. Okay, it's not ours, but hey, Ava's going to the Big House for murder, Sonny's already there, and Morgan, well can you really see him taking care of a infant? Just ditch Franco and raise this baby with me. May I hold her? Hello, baby...what's her name? Hello, baby Jamie. Thank God you chose a normal name for this kid. I heard an ugly rumor that you named her after allergy medicine. Ava, here's the baby. Take her and go with Morgan. I'll handle Nina. Easy, Nina. Sssssh, It's going to be okay, Nina.
AVA: So this is where Franco and that wackadoo have been keeping MY BABY? Franco? Give me my baby, Franco. Please. She needs her mother. We both know that is me, not Nutty Nina. DON'T YOU DARE THROW HER! DAMMIT, FRANCO! It's a sack of flour? A FREAKIN' SACK OF FLOUR?? I WANT MY BABY!!!! Thank you Silas. My baby! Isn't she beeeyoootiful? So lovely, so pretty! Is she healthy? Is she okay? She looks to be about three months old. Of course you can hold her, Morgan. What? I'm under arrest??? BUT WHAT ABOUT MY BABY???
MORGAN: Franco, you bastard, hand over the baby! If you throw or drop that baby, I swear I'm going to kill you with my bare hands! Franco, you sick freak, a sack of flour? Where's the damn BABY? Where is she, Franco! Ava, we have the baby, now let's leave before that whackjob tries anything. She's a beautiful baby. Healthy, she looks fine to me. In fact, she is bigger than I thought she'd be, seeing that she was premature and all. Can I hold her? Hey little sister or daughter! I sure wish I knew which you were. I'm either your big brother or your daddy, but it looks like I'm raising you since your mom's getting hauled off to the slammer and you dad or grandpa's already locked up. Now tell me, cute little baby, how do I change your diaper?
KIKI: Franco, please give my mother her baby. Look, Ava isn't perfect and I know she's a murderess and all, but you have something that belongs to her. Or make that someone. Okay, then just tell me where the baby is. Please? I was your daughter for five minutes. Don't worry, Dante. I'm not helping Franco run from the law this time.
DANTE: Franco, come out with your hands up! Now surrender the baby. Don't make this harder than it has to be, Franco. The kid is not yours and she's not Nina's. Robert Frank, you are under arrest for kidnapping, stalking, aiding and abetting, and a bunch of other stuff. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Today's gonna be a busy day, arresting all these people. Full house down at the PCPD, that's for sure. Ava Jerome, you are under arrest for the murder of Connie Falconeri. Miranda rights, yada yada yada. I've gotta go cuff Nina now. Mountie Boys, keep an eye on these two. No funny business and if someone takes a hostage, don't let those two get away!
SONNY: Johnny, as flattered as I am that you find my life so fascinating, could you kindly mind your own beeswax? Dammit, Johnny, I HAVE A TOOTHBRUSH AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT! AND NOT ON MY TEETH, IF YOU GET THE PICTURE. Now don't you dare mention Carly's name, Connie's name, the baby's name, if you even know what it is, or anyone's name that I care about. You hear me, Johnny? Toothbrushes can be lethal if you use them properly. For a loony who kidnapped my daughter or granddaughter, that Nina woman knows how to be improvise a weapon. No, Johnny, I'm not letting you take over my territory and run my business. I have my other prison bro Duke Lavery for that job. Once he learns how to turn a kilt into a deadly weapon, all bets are off! What about my brother, Johnny?
JOHNNY: Sonny, my pal, how did things go with Carly? Have a nice conjugal visit, or do only presently married couples get those? I can picture the Corinthos family Christmas in jail. Grandpa Sonny, Grandma Carly, gathered around the bars for hot prison cocoa and carols. Whoa, whoa whoa, Sonny, have you taken up dentistry along with your life of crime? Apparently not because your toothbrush is upside down. You going to kill me with a flippin' TOOTHBRUSH? That's hilarious. Howz 'bout, instead of killing me, you let me run your business. Lavery? What's he going to do to rival organizations, pierce their eardrums with his bagpipes? Come on, Sonny! You can do so much better because if you don't that brother of yours that you may or may not hate anymore is gonna become my Christmas dinner. Yeah, Ric's been captured by my people. Witness protection no longer.
CARLY: Hey, haven't I seen you before? Oh yeah, you're the guy that reminds me so much of Jason. Yeah, Jake. The thing is, Jake, my ex-husband Sonny will not let me see him in jail anymore and I think he's being stupid. First, he sacrifices himself for me by refusing to go to trial when he could have gotten off on trying to save a woman from AJ the Drunk's attempt at strangling her. Then he breaks up with me over prison phone. You know you're a really good listener, Jake. And you have that trustworthy face. Well, my bartender's AWOL, so I'm looking for a new one. You're looking for a job as a bartender? Here's a test. Make me an extra-dirty martini. Carlos, what are you doing here? I'll handle him, Jake. Look Carlos, I'm sorry for whatever happened to you in jail. But you're out now, so no harm, no foul. Wow, Jake, you sure have some mad bodyguard skillz there. Your martini sucks, but I'd hire you as a security guard. What do you say to that?
JAKE: Can I help you with that, Carly? You met me at the hospital in that creepy serial killer artist's studio. I heard the wedding didn't go as planned. You're talking about your ex, Sonny, right? He's in prison? What for? Whoa, looks like he's in for the long haul. Geez, all this woman talks about is Sonny this and Sonny that. But I need a job, and a drink, so I'll keep on listenin' You need a bartender? How about me? I'll give it a shot. A little bit of this liquid, a little bit of that liquid, shake it up and voila! Hey, greasehead, lay off Mrs. Corinthos-Jacks, will ya? ACCEPT. HER. APOLOGY. Say, I accept your apology, Mrs. Corinthos-Jacks. Now get lost! No, I don't remember being a bodyguard, but what do I remember these days? Security guard, I'll have to think about that one. Hey, Uhlizabeth, wanna grab something to eat before Dr. Frankenfrau catches me here?
CARLOS: No martini can be filthy enough for this one here. She let me sit in P-ville while she covered up the real perp, her beloved Sonny Corintos! She just let me take the fall for a crime I didn't commit. Okay, okay, I accept your apology, Mrs. CORINTOS Jacks. But I'll be seeing more of the both of you!
LIZ: Sam, how are you doing. I heard you were taken hostage. Do you have any leads on who did it? YOU have a suspect? Who? JAKE? Based on what evidence? Him saying "I haven't got all day?" How many bazillion people say that all the time? Sam, you are reaching. It CAN'T be Jake. Jake is a nice guy and he's recovering from being run over by an SUV. He's not CAPABLE of taking you hostage and throwing you against a wall. HE'S MY JAKEY-POO! I WUV HIM! Jake? Oh, nothing. I was just pondering whether or not you're a terrorist. Sure, let's grab something to eat.
SAM: I'm fine. Just a few bruises. It could have been a lot worse. The police don't have any leads, but I have a suspect. It's your friend Jake. I was just with him yesterday and he was like "It's not like I haven't got all day" which is what the masked gunman said before he shot Nathan. How can you be so sure he isn't involved in this, Elizabeth? How well do you REALLY know this guy you've been living with? Have you been following him around all day every day? No? Then you can't say for SURE what he's been up to. We'll just have to agree to disagree on this, but don't be surprised if he spends a night or two in the pokey.
ALEXIS: Julian, I'm not here for a social visit. I'm here for my daughter. No, not OUR daughter, Julian. My daughter. Yes, Molly. The one whose father you framed. Remember him? It turns out he's not so dead after all. Anna made that up to make sure he and his family stayed safe, then shipped him off to Witness Protection. Only now, he's gone AWOL. No one knows where he is. Here I was about to tell Molly that her father, whom she MOURNED because of you, is alive and now he has DISAPPEARED! Do you know anything about this, Julian? Has Faison clued you in to where he stashed Ric? Take you at your word? Whatever that's worth. My estimate is five cents. Hell no, I'm not going to represent you. Call Diane. There are other attorneys in this town, Julian. Look them up because you're going to need one of them.
JULIAN: Alexis, just the person I wanted to see. I've been working out in my cell and boy am I ripped! Put my shirt back on? Surely you jest! I know plenty of women who would feel differently about that. You're here about your daughter. How's Sam? Is everything okay with Danny? Oh, Molly. The one who hates me. It's not as if she doesn't have good reason to. I regret what I did to Ric. I made the choice and I'm sorry he had to die and Molly had to lose her father. What? Ric is alive? How? So I've been feeling all guilty about his death and he's still alive? How would I know where he is? I just found out two seconds ago that he was alive. I swear to you, Alexis, that I do not know a thing about his disappearance from Witness Protection. Aren't they supposed to "protect" the "witnesses"? So are you going to represent me or what? Diane refused because she's repping Sonny. But those other attorneys aren't YOU!
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