Ava and Nina sparred over Bionic Baby Jamie from their PCPD jail cells. Morgan wants to know once and for all whether he is Bionic Baby Jamie's dad or big bro. Johnny holds Ric's life in Sonny's hands and a three-family megamob alliance is in the offing. Olivia gets in touch with her nutty side while serving Ned & Alexis breakfast at the MetroCourt. Carlos makes Julian an offer he can't refuse. Carly visits Franco in jail for the sole purpose of taunting and threatening him.
AVA & NINA: I want my baby back, baby back baby back! I want my baby back baby back baby back! I want my baby back baby back baby back. BABY BACK RIBS! Guard! Guard! When can I see MY BABY!
AVA: She's MY BABY! I gave birth to her. You KIDNAPPED HER! You're crayayayayazy! Nutty McNutface. Bonkers. Certifiable. You gave me not one, but TWO so-called "needles of evil" and STOLE MY BABY GIRL RIGHT OUT FROM UNDER ME! I never got to hold her. I never got to see her sweet, innocent, angel face. Careful Nina, your cuckoo's showing and you're delusional. Franco's not coming to your rescue. Or is he? Franco, why do you have to keep screwing my life up. Really, shacking up with that whackjob? See, Nina? He can't help you now. You NAMED my baby? What makes you think you can name a baby who doesn't belong to you? So you're playing the murderer card? I killed Connie Falconeri because my back was against the wall. By the way, you tried to murder your own mother with a hotel lamp, so there! Your escapades will ensure that you will NEVER raise a baby of your own. And you've already gone through The Change, so there's no having one naturally. Too bad, Nina. So sad. NOT!
NINA: I miss my baby! Franco and I had it all figured out. We had a bitchin' little family with him, me and our little Bionic baby girl. By the way, it's Needles of Badness. Get the name of my weapons right, AVA! Poor thing. You're going to the Big House while I'm going to raise my beautiful baby with Franco. Franco, you're here! You're getting me out of this place right? We're going to be a family again. A bitchin' family! Franco, don't leave! FRANCO! FRANCOOOO! I'm getting out of here with or without Franco's help and I will be reunited with my precious Jamie. Hello, Ava! You don't even know the baby's name? I named her after the Bionic Woman because she's my little bionic baby. I will be raising her while you go to the Big House because you are a MURDERER! You murdered Connie Falconeri in cold blood. And you call ME crazy? WHO'S CRAZY NOW, AVA? WHO'S CRAZY NOW? You're a murderer and I'm a kidnapper so that makes me better than you because I never took anyone's life. What do you mean I will never have a baby? THAT'S NOT TRUE! (throws prison chair against wall).
FRANCO: Carly? What do you want with me, Carly? I have no use for you anymore because you LIED TO ME and CHEATED ON ME! I'm not sorry for blowing apart your adulterous little life with Sonny and the son who makes you forget you actually have other kids, like sweet, sweet corny Joss. Well, if I'm headed to P-ville, I can always torture Sonny! That's almost worth the price of admission. Hey, don't you DARE talk about Nina like that. You don't know her and the agony she has been through. See you, Carly. Wouldn't wanna be you! Ha ha ha! Guard! I gotta pee. I gotta go so bad that if you don't let me use the toilet, you're gonna need a maid service. You don't want my lawyers suing the PCPD for not letting the prisoners answer nature's call now, do you? Nina, how's your side of lockup? I'm a little lonely over there. Ava, butt out! It's not all about you. Nina, I'm sure Bionic Baby Jamie Sommers is safe. I can't promise you we can be that family. I wish I could, but no can do. Bye Nina. Gotta go or this dude will never let me pee again.
CARLY: Poor, poor Franco, locked up in a cell. Things ain't going well, Franco. Locked up in a cell. Who knew I was into Bible-based Broadway musicals? I just wanted to see you behind bars after you RUINED MY LIFE! You DESTROYED my relationship with my FAVORITEST son and got Sonny sent away for life. You happy with yourself, Franco? Maybe I should thank you for kinapping my daughter or (shudder) granddaughter and getting caught because now you're in the pokey where you belong. You're just as crazy as that unhinged Nina. The two of you deserve each other. Crazies of a feather flock together. (at the hospital) Oh, look at this precious angel! Hi Morgan. Look how pretty she is! Thanks, Kiki, for agreeing to the paternity test, but only if I'm her stepmother. I'm not quite ready to be called grandma.
MORGAN: She's so quiet. I hope she's okay. She may look like a three-month old, but she's really a premature baby. Silas did us a solid, tricking his wacko wife into handing over this angel. I hope all her tests come out okay. Hey Dr. Clay, I mean, Silas, how's the baby? Is she going to be okay? Can you run one more test? Not on this little girl, but on me. I need to find out whether I'm her dad or her brother. Why not? You already have the baby's DNA on file. It can't be too hard. Kiki, I'm confused. How are you the baby's guardian? Okay, can you okay the paternity test? Hi Mom. Meet this adorable little baby whose name I don't know. It would be nice if I knew I was the dad so I could give her a name. We can't keep calling her The Baby. Why would a paternity test take weeks? Don't you just poke some blood out of me and see if it matches hers? Ooookay. Mom, will you let Silas poke you too?
KIKI: She is an adorable baby, isn't she? How weird would it be if she was both your little sister and mine? It wouldn't make us related, would it? I'm sure she's okay. She's just happy to be away from the crazies and in her home country, right sweetie-pie? My dad will take good care of her. So, Dad, how is she? Thank God she's okay! Why can't you run a paternity test? I think I might be her temporary guardian. This friend of mine had a little brother whose parents were both in the slammer. Yada yada yada, he's the kid's guardian. So, yeah, Morgan. You can do the paternity test. How long would it take? Weeks? There's another way? Carly, will you do it, even if Morgan's not your favoritest son?
SILAS: Good news! This little girl has a mild ear infection but she's otherwise healthy. You want to run another test? I'm afraid a paternity test is not on the table. You need the mother's permission. I know you're frustrated, Morgan. I don't blame you. If I were in your position, I'd want to know too. Seeing that Ava's in jail, there is another way. Her temporary guardian can authorize it. Okay, we can set it up, but I have to warn you, it can take awhile for the results to be conclusive. Why? Because it's a question of who between two related people is the father. The DNA markers for Morgan and Sonny would be too similar to rule out either one. Unless we test someone who's not related to the baby. Carly, you're not afraid of needles, are you?
NED: Alexis, thank you for meeting me for breakfast. How are things going? You saw Julian? Why did you feel the need to keep this hidden from me? I'm not the paranoid jealous type, you know. Any news on Ric? Hi Liv. Yes, you got my breakfast pegged. Alexis, you worry too much. Olivia was just joking. She said the EGGS are easy, not you. Olivia, are you okay? Okay, she comped our breakfast. Bye Alexis. Knock 'em dead in court today.
OLIVIA: Hi Ned, Alexis. Welcome to the New and Improved MetroCourt. It was Carly's idea. She had all the decor laid out around the time her life imploded. Okay, let's see how well I know the two of you: Ned, you are a steak and eggs guy and Alexis, over easy for you, for obvious reasons (wink wink). Here we go! Actually, Alexis, I have a HUGE PROBLEM WITH YOU! YOU are with the man I LOVE! That's right, Ned. We have so much in common. We like action movies! Alexis likes that arthouse stuff with subtitles. We're MADE for each other. JUST KIDDING! That was totally my LSD-aided daydream. If you can't have a sense of humor about being drugged by a madwoman, you're nowhere. Here are some lox for you Alexis. Sorry for my faux-pas. You don't like lox? I figured you liked cold fish because...well, never mind. I'm comping your entire breakfast because I'm kind of a lovesick mess right now.
ALEXIS: Good morning, Ned. Yeah, I kind of went to see Julian but not to see him doing shirtless handstands in the clink. I needed to know if he knew about what happened to Ric. He's missing and I was just about to tell Molly he's alive. Julian and I are history. Hello, Olivia. Hey, Ned, what's with Olivia. Is she upset with me? She just called me easy! I thought we were all friends, you know? Now she just called me a cold fish! Olivia, do you have a problem with me? Olivia? Something is up with that woman. Ned, you shouldn't be picking up the check every time we go out. What? It was comped by Olivia? That was nice of her. Still, something is definitely up with her. She hasn't had another run-in with Heather Webber, has she? Julian? You're going back into the business. It figures.
JULIAN: Carlos, is that a briefcase full of dough you're carrying? You're gonna post my bail? To what do I owe this show of generosity? You want me to join the MegaMob? The JohnnyMob? As in Zacharra? Sorry, pal. I'm going straight. I've got me a woman now and she has a strict no-mob policy. Hmmmm, money, power, adrenaline rush versus Alexis admiring my six-pack and keeping me warm at night. Tough call. Hey, don't talk about Alexis that way, man. We may go way back, but you trash talk my lady, all bets are off. I plead...dammit, what should I do. WHAT SHOULD I DO?..not guilty. I'm throwing in, Carlos. This had better be worth it. Alexis. Well, you said we're a no-go so what do I have to lose going back into the business?
CARLOS: Julian, look what I've got? Enough greenbacks to spring you from the slammer, but only if you throw in with me and the JohnnyMob. What's the JohnnyMob, you say? It's a three-family alliance with the Corinthos, Jerome, and Zacharra families spearheaded by none other than my prison bro Johnny Zacharra. We became besties in P-ville and we're gonna take over the entire eastern seaboard, Julian! Imagine that! The power! The money! The influence! The adrenaline rush of THE LIFE. You goin' straight? No way, man! Don't tell me it's for that uptight lawyer chick Alexis Davis. Don't you miss the live fast, die young lifestyle? The thrill of being hunted? Come on, Julian! All you gotta do is plead not guilty and join the Johnny Mob. We're going to be the badasses who corner the market on badassery. Whaddaya say, Julian? I knew you'd throw in. Enjoy ruling this town with the best of 'em, Jerome!
SONNY: Johnny, what's the deal with Ric? Tell me or your workout will come to a tragic end. Death by prison barbells, how does that sound, Johnny? Why would I want to help that sonofabitch brother of mine. He was working against me. Come on, Johnny, quit messing with me or I'll go find that toothbrush. Better yet, I'll strangle you with floss. So Ric was set up as a patsy for the Big Boss. What made him get mixed up with the likes of you? How do I know, Johnny, how do I know that you and Ric aren't in cahoots to take me down? Trust you? Are you on drugs? You're gonna kill my brother, my niece's father, if I don't join this absurd JohnnyMob?
JOHNNY: Sonny, whoa man, let a guy breathe now, will ya? Your brother is with me and his life is in your hands. All you have to do is let me in on your territory and join our three-family alliance. Let's call it the JohnnyMob for argument's sake. You throw in with me, your brother lives. You refuse, he dies. It's that simple. I have proof Ric wasn't working against you. He was set up by Jerome's boss and the lovely police commissioner faked his death and put him in Witness Protection. Read it and weep, Sonny. If you don't call your men Duke and Sean, then you can kiss your little brother goodbye and then try facing your niece and telling her you're responsible for his death. You don't want to do that now, do you Sonny? Your cooperation or your brother's life. Which is it gonna be?
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