Knock Knock!

Who's there?   It's RIC!   He's FREE and he's home to his daughter in time for Christmas.   Maxie shares her good news with Nathan as they exchange gifts before she leaves for Portland to see Georgie.   Sonny gets nasty when Franco shows up in P-ville.   Julian mistakes a doppelganger for the real thing.  Carly spills her guts to Jake.  Again.  

 MAXIE:  Like Oh. Em. Gee.  Nathan, Judge Walters changed his mind and I CAN SEE GEORGIEEEEE!   HOW did you make him CHANGE HIS MIND?   You totes have to come to Portland with me.  Oops, forgot.  Gunshot wound.  Okay, let's just have our Christmas here.   Check it out: Ribs for Life at my dad's restaurant!    You got me something?   SHOES!!!!   SHINY SHOES!!!!!   EXPENSIVE SHINY SHOES!!!!    And all I got you was a coupon for ribs?   I so need to raise my Christmas game.  This is the best Christmas EVER!   I have an awesome boyfriend and I get to see my baby!   Off to Portland. 

 NATHAN:  He did?  Maxie, that's awesome!   No, I didn't have anything to do with it (fingers crossed behind his back).   Go with you?  I would love to, but, you know, gunshot wound and all.  Besides, you want to focus on your kid, not my hot, bandaged bod.   Let's just have Christmas here in the hospital.  See, I got a Micro Tree from my cop buddies.  Mutter won't allow anything bigger in my room.   I told her I wanted a huge Tannenbaum but she said nein.  Unlimited ribs!  Sweet!   I got you something too.   Check it out.    Let's just say Lulu pulled some strings and got me a hot cop discount.  Just kidding!  But she was a big help.  Now go see that little girl of yours.  Merry Christmas, Maxie!  

 CARLY:  So, Jake, as I was saying, the DNA test proved that Sonny is the father of that nameless little baby girl.  Yeah, her whackjob kidnapper named her, but that doesn't count.  I'm just glad I'm not a grandma.  And that Morgan's not the father because he and Kiki are WAAAAY too immature to take care of another human being.  Now Michael, who walks on water, could take care of a baby in a heartbeat, but I'm still DEAD TO HIM so he's not going to step up.  I just wish I could tell Sonny he's a father again, but he banned me from Pentonville.   Thanks, but no thanks, Jake.  I'll just tie her picture to a carrier pigeon and he'll get the message. 

JAKE:  Carly, what's up?  You look puzzled by that piece of paper.  Is it in a foreign language like German or something?  Knowing who is Chief of Staff here, I wouldn't put it past her.   Oh yeah, that nameless baby without a guardian.   I can relate.   The Jake thing is just a guess.  I have no idea what my real name is.  Back to that Jason guy again.   Why do I keep hanging out with women who were obsessed with him?   If you want me to hop on over to the Big House to let your Sonny guy know he has a baby girl, I'll do it for you.   Ok, just thought I'd ask.

SONNY:   I'mma kill you, Johnny!   Franco, wanna be next?   I got no use for either one of you.   Look at Franco, trying to make friends in prison!   Not going so well?   Let's just say you're gonna pay for what you did to Michael when he was here and you're gonna pay big.   Here, take this toothbrush.  You're gonna need to brush those chompers while you've still got 'em.  

JOHNNY:   So your brother should be biting the dust any moment now, Sonny.   Hey who's this loser?   Just kidding.  I know who the dude who strapped my Lulu to a bomb is.   Sorry pal, prison friend request DENIED!   Sonny, I hear your goon and his girl sprung Lansing.   My boys got it in for you!  

FRANCO:  Guess who, Sonny?   Don't shank my future prison buddy with a toothbrush.  Not cool.   What?  You don't wanna be my friend?   But we'd have so much fun hating on Sonny!   Oh yeah, the bomb thing.  Sorry, man.  The tumor made me do it.   Sonny, Sonny, Sonny.   You slept with my girlfriend so you DEFINITELY cannot be my prison buddy.   Whoa whoa whoa!   That's harsh, man!   Gimme that toothbrush weapon so I can go hide in solitary and be alone with my thoughts.  NOT, I don't want your filthy toothbrush!  Guard, it's not mine!   Sonny boy did it! 

LUKE-ALIKE:  Yoohoo!  Julesy Toolsy, where are you?   Howz 'bout I shoot you for making me find a new place to stash Luke Spencer.  That's right.  It's me, the NotLuke, the same guy you know from witness protection.   I didn't tell you my name then and I ain't telling you now.   Equals?  You want to be my equal?   That's cute.   Now go bump that pretty little Jordan off for double-crossing us and teaming up that muscle goon of Sonny's to free Lansing.  

JULIAN:  It looks like you're a free man, Luke.   Why take the chance of shooting me and losing that freedom?   So you're not the real Luke Spencer.   You're the fake again.   Just who the hell are you anyway?   If you're not Faison in a mask, how do you look just like Luke Spencer?   Look, nameless boss man, I'm committed to staying in the mob as long as we're equal partners in this thing.   Together we can take down Corinthos' territory if we work as a team.  You in?   Carlos, what's the story?   You can tell my partner over here that you took care of Lansing.  You didn't?   Uh oh.  Well, at least Alexis will be happy and Molly might not hate my guts quite so much...Me?  Off Jordan?  

CARLOS:  Lansing, sorry man, but the jig is up.   Gonna have to kill you now.  Any famous last words?   Whoa whoa whoa, Jordan Ashford, what are you doing in bed with Sonny's goon?   Johnny gave the order.  Ric Lansing's gotta be plugged.  Or not.   You're a lucky S.O.B., Lansing.   Jordan, not so much once the boss finds out you switched sides.   I'm outta here.   Sorry, Julian.  Ric's a free man.  It was either spring him or get myself killed. 

SHAWN:  Drop the gun, Rivera.  You kill Ric and you're as dead as he'll be.   You have your orders.  I have mine, now drop the gun if you want to live.   Lansing, I did this for your brother.   He says Merry Christmas, by the way.   We better get you checked out at the hospital. 

JORDAN:  Ric was an innocent man, Carlos.  He did not deserve to die.   Yes, you should get checked out at the hospital, Ric, but I can understand wanting to be home with your family, especially your daughter, who is my son's girlfriend.  

SAM:  Molly, I wasn't expecting you home so early.  Julian was just leaving.  Wanna help me wrap some presents?   Mom, don't look.  Elves at work!   Okay, safe to look now.   Look, Mom, you really need to tell Molly the truth about Ric.   She has a right to know, just like I had a right to know that Jason survived being shot on the pier, but Patrick kept that from me.   Molly, hear Mom out.   This is very important.  Ric????

ALEXIS:  Yeah, yeah, I know I'm early.   Julian was here?    Sam, should I tell Molly that Ric is alive?  Or he was alive and put in Witness Protection to try to smoke out Julian's boss, but he's missing now and he could be dead.   I don't want Molly to have to grieve her father all over again.   Molly, I need to tell you something I tried to tell you before.  It's about your father.  RIC????

MOLLY:  What is HE doing here?   I still hate him because he had my dad killed.   I don't want to talk about me and Mom.  I just want to wrap Christmas presents and hang out with my adorable nephew.   Hey Mom, you just missed your BOYFRIEND!   What do you have to tell me this time?   What about my father?   Wait, I'll go get the doorbell.   I bet Julian's back and he's dressed in a Santa suit.  Or make that a satan suit.  OH. MY. GOD!   DAD?????  

RIC:  Dernt kerl mer!   Gert mer ert erf ders ker ner!   Pffff!   You saved my life!    My brother, as in Sonny Corinthos?  That's a good one.  He could give a crap if I live or die.   Man, my right foot's asleep.  And my left.   I don't need to go to the hospital.   I just want to go home to see my daughter.  (rings doorbell at Sam's) Look who's not dead!