Bang Bang! He Shot Me Down.

Shots were fired as Jake/Jason distracted the cops from delivering Faison to the Super Max.   Carly & Patrick talked Jason, Robin, & Sam at the Floating Rib.   Johnny reminded Sonny of what life in the hoosegow is like.   Maxie & Lulu kibitz at Kelly's as Maxie prepares for her custody hearing.  Nikolas chastises Liz for allowing a stranger to live with her.   Helena, Obrecht & Britt get a surprise visit from Spencer.

 JASON/JAKE:  You're coming with me!   (to Anna & Dante) Gimme the keys!  (To Helena) Okay, I did my homework.  I shot a cop but it wasn't a kill shot so he'll make it.  But hey, Faison's free and that was the whole idea, right?   Okay, I'll try to remember to forget what happened.   (to Liz) I'm back.  Yeah, about the job hunt...well...

 SAM:  (upon being abducted by Jason incognito) Nooooooo!  (to Anna) Forget about me.  Shoot this son of a bitch dressed in black who I don't know is Jason!   Don't give him the keys!  NO KEYS!   Oh my god, is he alright?   I'm not exactly a nurse but I'll try to keep him from bleeding to death.  

 ANNA:  Let's go, Cesar.  (after Faison is put in the criminal transfer van):  Good.  Now, watch out for Faison.  No one slips through the cracks in the justice system like him.  Dante, I don't blame you for wanting to make sure Faison gets delivered to the Super Max.  Nathan, you haven't heard any top secret plans from your mad mother, have you?   And you don't think she's up to no good?   Sam, do what the thug says so no one gets hurt.   Here, take the keys, just don't shoot!  Too late.  Sam, put pressure on Nathan's wound.  Dante, can you do me a favor and find Faison and the masked thug who shot your partner?  Good.  Nathan, you're in shock.  Stay with us.   Since when do you call me ma'am???  No time for the ambulance.  We need take him to the hospital ourselves.   Dante, what's the word on Faison?   Dammit!   Of course he would escape again!   

DANTE:  Hey, I want to make sure ol' Caesar's ass gets thrown in the Euro Prison.  Hey, thug in black, what do you want?   Oh man!  Nathan's down!   Hunt down Faison & the thug?  Sure thing, Anna!   Bad news:  the thug ditched the van and not a trace of Faison.   Lulu!   Faison at three o' clock on the pier.   Gotta go.

 NATHAN:  My mother?  No I haven't heard from her since yesterday.   You don't think she has anything to do with what's going down, do you?   I'm okay.  I'm okay.   I'll be fine, ma'am, I mean Anna.  Just a little bleeding from my chest, that's all.   Lulu, what are you doing here?   Tell Maxie she's going to be a great mom.    

HELENA:  So this is your famous daughter, Liesl?   Finally, a woman I who is reasonably suitable for my grandson.   Don't get carried away.  I said reasonably.   Why are you leaving town?   I hear you and Nikolas have gotten very close.   I have spies, my dear.   I always have spies.   I admire your determination and devotion to Nikolas, but I do NOT approve of you using my great-grandson to win him back.   Fair warning, young lady, you do NOT want to do something I don't approve of.   Over my undead and defrosted body!   Such insolent language coming out of such a small mouth!   Those supposed snakes only appear when children are naughty and do not mind their manners.  Are you a naughty, naughty boy?   If so, I have some elves from the North Pole on my payroll.   He has potential, but he needs a lot of work.   Now, Spencer, you must return home to your father and find more suitable attire.  You are heir to the Cassadine dynasty and must never be seen without the proper neckwear.   I see my soldier has done his duty.   May I inquire as to the damage, Mr. Morgan?   Good, we can't have you put a target on your back by killing a police officer.  Now you will go home to Elizabeth and forget what happened.   Now now, Liesl.  My soldier only shot at your son because your son shot at him first.  He informed me that he didn't use a kill shot, so your son will be just fine. You have your Faison back, so be grateful.  Let's say our goodbyes and get out of here before Faison is tracked. Now now, Liesl.  I feel somewhat human right now seeing such familial affection so I'll give you what qualifies as reassuring pat on the shoulder.  

LIESL OBRECHT:  Helena, zis is my daughter, Britta.  Now, Helena, zere is no need to chastise my daughter.   Spencer, young child, zis is Helena Cassadine, your great-grandmozzer.  Cesaaaah!   Vat is zis?   NASSAN VAS SHOT BY HELENA'S GOON?   ZAT WRETCHED WOMAN!   Your goon shot my Nassan!   He had better be okay!   I cannot leave now, Cesaaah!  Nassan is hurt and he needs me.   Britta, go vis your fozzer!   You vill be prosecuted if you stay here.  Zere is nossing in zis town for you, Britta.   I love you, Schattzi.   Auf wiedersehn!    

BRITT:  Famous?  I don't know about that. Mrs. Cassadine, your grandson has kicked me out of the castle.  He says I'm a bad, bad person and wants nothing to do with me.   Not only that, but he is suing me for child endangerment.  You see, I conspired with your nine-year-old great grandson.  He would run away and I would console Nikolas as he worried about his son and I would be the one to find him.   The truth came out that I had a role in Spencer's kidnapping and Nikolas was not pleased.  Okay, she's getting all up in my face now.   Spencer!   What are you doing here?  I miss you too, buddy.  I don't live with Brad, or with anyone.  I'm kinda homeless right now.   I'm leaving town, Spence.  Hey, I wouldn't run afoul of that woman, kiddo.  She's your powerful great-grandmother.  She's right.  You need to go home to your dad.  He's very worried about you.  Here's a little parting gift.  This is the ring you helped your dad pick out.  You have way better taste in jewelry than him, by the way.  I love you too, Spencer.   What?   Nathan was SHOT?   I need to go see him!  He needs me.  I can't leave now.  Oh yeah, Nikolas is suing me.  Guess I have to go with my terrorist father now. 

SPENCER:  Bwitt, you didn't think I'd let you leave that easily, did you?   I miss you and I want to live with you and Bwad.   He's kind of cool, for a townie.   I'll even watch the Golden Girls with him if it means I can live with you.  You're like, the only mommy I've got.   You're leaving town???   I guess I'll just go off and explore the world, then.   Excusez-moi!   Butteth Outeth, lady!  That was Fwench.  Oh, she's the one my dad warned me about.  He said she has snakes in her haiw.   No, gweat-grandmothew, ma'am, I'm not a naughty boy.   Townie  Now you're speaking my language!  Fozzer means fathew, wight?  Why do I have to live with my fozzew?   He's no fun and he was mean to Bwitt.  You got me a pwesent, Bwitt?   But that ring is yours!   Thank you, Bwitt!  I'll miss you so much.  I love you.  

NIKOLAS:  Put guards everywhere around town.  Tell them to be on the lookout for a tall, well-dressed, elegant woman in a fur coat.   She may look like a sweet old lady, but be not fooled.  She's Medusa incarnate.   So, Liz, what were you thinking letting a random guy live at your house?  I can see picking up a stray cat, but a stray person?   By the way, does he have all his shots?   He could be a homicidal maniac for all you know!   You're a compassionate person and that's why I love you, but you're also ridiculously naive.   Oh, so you're going to throw Britt in my face now?  

LIZ:  Jake needed a place to stay.  He has no memory of his past and Dr. Scary released him before he was able to walk on his own.   He has that trustworthy face, Nikolas.   Besides, he reminds me of Jason.  Sorta kinda.   A happier, more jovial Jason, but without a memory.  So if you're going to judge me for giving someone a chance, then you're fair game.  How could you let Britt into your life AGAIN?   You knew what a lying, manipulative bitch she could be!   Jake, how was the job hunt? 

LULU:  Nathan was arrested?   Was it for indecent exposure, showing off that HOTT bod of his?   He is sooo ripped!   Come on, who in Port Chuckles hasn't seen Nathan shirtless?   Come on, Maxie, anyone with a heart will award you custody of Georgie.   I'm so glad Faison is headed off to the European dungeon.   He gives me the creeps and what he did to my dad...thank God he's headed out of town.  Nathan!   OMG, you've been shot!   Stay with us, Nathan.  My bestie needs you!    Dante, be careful!  

MAXIE:  I'm so nervous.  This hearing is coming up and I have to put together a testimony on how I've changed.   By the way, Nathan's headed to P-ville.  Relax, it's on police business.   Hey, how would YOU know how hot Nathan is?   I hear Dante's got himself a six-pack too.   Just sayin'.   Thank God, creepy Faison's on his way out of town.  I'd hate to think I'd run into him on the way to your place to borrow sugar.   Thanks for stopping by, Lulu.  So glad we're besties again.  Okay, now how have I changed?  

CARLY:  Patrick, what's up?   You're talking about Robin, right?   Sam?  Are you guys together now?   I thought she was with Silas.  I've kinda been distracted lately with the man I love being hauled away to P-ville and my son writing me off.   What did you do to piss off Sam?   What do you mean Jason didn't die on the pier?  He was ALIVE?   Why couldn't Robin save him?   Of course her treatment failed.  To think, Jason was ALIVE for months and I didn't know.   Don't worry, Patrick.  I'm not pissed at you.   Don't give up on Sam.   It's too late for me and Sonny, but it's not too late for you and Sam. 

PATRICK:   Hey, Carly, what are you doing at some place where you have to PAY for a drink?   I thought booze was on the house if you owned the MetroCourt.   Robin and I are finished.   Sam and I are friends.  Well, we were friends until she ripped into me for not telling her about Jason.  He didn't die on the pier that night.  He was alive, but unconscious at the Crichton Clark clinic.  Robin tried to revive him.  She did all she could, but he's dead.  I know Jason meant a lot to you, Carly.  Sam is pissed because I didn't tell her right when I found out.   Whatever I had with her, it's probably gone right now.  How are things with you and Sonny?  

FAISON:  Liesl, Is has returned.  Now let us have our family reunion.  Is see our daughter is joining us.  Yous son has been shot, Liesl.  Helena's soldier shot at him as he was trying to help me escape.  But Is here, Liesl.  We can run away together, yous, me and our daughter.   Alright, Liesl.  See to yous son.  Britta and Is will be waiting for you.   Come now, Britta.  

SONNY: Well if it isn't Johnny Zacharra, the man who murdered his own father.   So, you want to compare crimes, Johnny?   Alright, Johnny I'm touched by your support.  What else you got to say for yourself?  You think you were important to Carly?   Nah, I don't think so.   Don't you DARE mention Connie's name, you hear?   How would you know what kind of person she was?   You were just using her to stick it to me.   How do you know all this? You got a subscription to the ToddJulian times delivered to your cell?   Hey, I don't need your help keeping in touch with the outside world.   I've got people too.  Thanks, Johnny, for you concern about my tiny female relative.  Hey hey hey, what's this all about?   What the hell, Johnny?  

JOHNNY:  Hey there, Sonny boy.  I'm back!  Oh yeah, I didn't know you and Anthony were so close.  But how about you murdering your son's bio dad?   How's that working out for you? But good on ya for letting Carly go free.  She was always loyal to you, Sonny.  Even when we were together, I was second banana to the great Sonny Corinthos.   Same thing with Connie.  I'm sorry she got killed.  She was a good person.  I got to know her as a friend and it's a shame that she met her demise at the hands of Ava Jerome.  I should have known she was behind that gambling ring.  I hear your little daughter or granddaughter is MIA.  Sorry about that.   How's life in the hoosegow treating ya?   I've gotten used to it, but it helps to find yourself a posse like I have.  Those boys have my back.   See, Sonny?   This is why you need a posse.  Welcome to the rest of your life.