Starts With F

This blog is going to be brief because life and workplace Christmas parties happen.   Here goes:

NINA:  OMG, where's the BIONIC BABY?  She's GONE!   How could I lose a whole BABY?   Does she have bionic powers of invisibility?   Franco, you blockhead, you scared the schadenfreude out of me!   That's a word I learned from Auntie Liesl.  Where do you go off taking our Bionic Baby Jamie without telling me?  Oh, you wrote a note.  My bad.   Who's that at the door?   Don't let her in.  She could be a spy for Silas or Ava or Sonny.   Ugh, she won't leave us alone!   Make her disappear, Franco!  

FRANCO:  Whoa whoa whoa, crazypants!  Dial it back a little.  Bionica is with me!   She needed a little fresh air.  Someone's knocking.  Should I answer?   Oh, hey random person.  Thanks for the mitten.  Bye now.   What, did you find the other mitten?  Yeah, I'm Franco.  What's it to ya? 

DANTE:  Hey, bearded fisherman guy, what do you know about Faison?  Did you help him escape?   Your buddy helped the Fake Aussie kidnap my wife and her bestie and he's in the clink now.  Wanna join him?  You know something about Franco?   Where did ya take him?   You're  gonna play it that way, make me sign some papers?   Fine, but you'd better tell me where Franco, Nina, and that baby are or you're in the slammer with your buddy. 

SILAS:  Ava, I have an early Christmas present for you.  Meet your adorable three-month-old bionic preemie.   Ha ha, just a dream.  But I do know of a random person who agreed to meet us at your mom's diner.   Kiki, Morgan, what are you doing here? 

AVA:  What a beautiful little baby I have!   Look at that smile!   Dammit, Silas, why do you and the baby have to be a dream?   That's just playing dirty.   Kiki, Morgan, fancy meeting you here.   What do you mean, Morgan?  You wanted your father to kill me?   Let's stop fighting and work together to find my baby. 

KIKI:  Whoa, coffee lady, startle much?   Yeah, I guess that makes you my grandma.  Hello, grandmother I never met because my mother kept you hidden all my life.   No, Morgan and I aren't together, but we used to be married before I dumped him for his brother.  Then his brother dumped me and now Morgan and I are just friends.   Silas--Dad, what are you doing here with my murderess mother?   Are you illegally harboring a fugitive?   Whatever, let's just find this baby.

MORGAN:  Kiki and I were married for five minutes, then I banged her mom and I could be the father of the missing baby.  Or my dad could be the father and I'm just the big brother.  If it isn't the woman who killed my dad's girlfriend, but who i might have had a kid with.   Ava, I'm pissed at you, but I didn't want you dead.  That's just going to have to be good enough.

DELIA:  (drops coffee pot) Is. That. My. Granddaughter?   OMG!  Lauren, it's so great to finally meet you!   This must be Michael. Morgan?  I knew it was an M name.   What, you and Michael broke up?  So you're with Morgan now?  You were MARRIED to Morgan?   What a coincidence, Ava's baby is missing.   Well well well, what a tangled family web you Corinthoses weave!  

SONNY:  Hey, Carly.   Nah, it was just a little dust-up.  I can take care of myself.  Don't go trying to get help for me because that's a no-no with the P-ville crowd.   Any word on my daughter or granddaughter?   She's out there with a maniac and a psychopath.  We need to find her.  Do me a solid and stop coming around here.  Just help find my tiny female relative, okay?

CARLY:  OMG, Sonny, what happened to you?  You're all black and blue!   I'm gonna tell the higher-ups in P-ville to get you some protection.  I CAN'T HAVE YOU ALL BLACK AND BLUE!!!   What?   YOU are banning ME from visiting you?   What the hell, Sonny? 

LUKE-A-LIKE:  Fluke, Flukity Fluke!   It's no fluke that I'm here.   Don't the ToddJulian times know that Fluke was the nickname for my pairing with Bubba's wife Felicia back in 2000?   I guess mobsters don't have time to do their research.   Hey Mikey.  You mind letting me count beans at ELQ.  I promise I won't make passes at your girlfriend KoKo.   Man, the stuff ol' Faisy pulled when he was pretending to be me!   Correction, while he was pretending to be the real Luke Spencer all duct-taped and tied to a chair.   But I'll be damned if all of Port Chuckles doesn't think I'm the genuine article and Faison was the one in the Luke suit and mask all these months.   Hey, co-conspirator.  Just for the record is this Jerry?  Larry?   Queen of the Damned?   Hail Cesar?   What's your handle, buddy?

MICHAEL:  Hello, "Luke"  I'm still not 100% sure you are Luke, so no grabsies on ELQ quite yet.   Kiki and I are finito.  She's DEAD TO ME, as are Sonny, Carly, and Morgan.   Hey, I thought you and Sonny were tight.   What gives, "Luke"? 

SAM:  Nice new look at the MetroCourt.   Hey Spin, I've got some hacking for you to do.  There's some Director's Cut quality cell phone footage of me being held hostage by a masked assailant.  Can you help me figure out who's behind the mask?   Thanks.   Hi Jake.  Why do those eyes look so familiar to me?   How did you find this place?  Did Elizabeth tell you?   So you're looking for work?  Well, Carly's in charge here.  You know her?   How did you know I was held hostage?  Were you THERE or something?  Oh, you saw it on the news.   I'm trying to find out who the gunman was.   That phone call I was making when you walked in, that was to my friend, Spinelli, hacker extraordinaire.   If he can't help me figure out who was behind that mask, no one can.

JAKE:  This seat taken?  Hi Sam.  Remember me?   Yeah, I heard you had been taken hostage.  Any idea who the masked gunman was?   Me, I'm just on a job hunt.  I thought I'd apply here.  Who's in charge?  Oh, I know Carly.  I saw her at the hospital right before she was about to marry that Franco guy.  It fell through?  I guess that's a good thing because, truth be told, I don't think she was that into him.  Good luck with finding the guy who abducted you.  It's gonna be tough, with the mask and all.