Chasin' Jason

      Spinelli helps Jason locate the compound on Cassadine Island.  Patrick reluctantly accepts Sam's decision to follow Jason to Greece.  Liz wants in on Operation Chasin' Jason and the two get ready to leave for Greece together.  Maxie and Lulu hack into Dante's work email and find a suspicious-sounding note from Valerie.  Dr. Maddox runs into Anna at the hospital.   Unbeknownst to Michael, Sabrina cancels her sonogram appointment.

   
        SPINELLI'S APARTMENT, PORTLAND, OREGON

        SPINELLI:  Stone Cold?
        JASON:  Isn't that an ice cream place where they make your sundae on some cold rock?
        SPINELLI:  Many apologies.  I failed to take into consideration your current amnesic state.  I am most gratified that you are Jason Morgan and you are alive in more than merely the metaphysical sense.
        JASON:  Yeah, I kinda need your help, Spinelli.  I need to find Helena Cassadine.  She stole my life and my memory of being this Jason Morgan character away from me.
        SPINELLI:  And you require my assistance to hack into the Cassadine mainframe in order to ascertain the location of this diabolical, yet most elegantly attired octogenarian?
        JASON:  Yeah, something like that.

  
        PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE

        SAM:  I haven't heard from Jason.  That means he must have skipped town.  I have to follow him and help him find his answers.
        PATRICK:  What if he doesn't want your help?
        SAM:  He'd never actually ASK me for it.   That's not who Jason is.
        PATRICK:  But Jason has FORGOTTEN who Jason is.  Isn't that the whole point of his journey to find himself?
        SAM:  He shouldn't be traipsing around Cassadine Island by himself.  That place is probably rigged with booby traps.
        PATRICK:  Nice turn of phrase there, Sam.  What about us?  What about you, me, and my brokenhearted daughter Emma who thinks you and Danny will be leaving her forever?


        METROCOURT

         LULU: O to the MG!  Just when I thought maybe, just MAYBE Dante and I could talk and work things out and stuff, I see him and Valerie CANOODLING in his cop car.  CANOODLING, Maxie!
         MAXIE:  Shut the front door!   CANOODLING?!?  That SLUT!  Did you walk up to that car and bitch slap her into next week?   If you did and you got it on video, it would SO go viral!  
         LULU:  No, I just rage-skulked away.  I bet he's been banging her for months.  
         MAXIE:  I know a way to find out.  Being friends with Spinelli really comes in handy in times like these.   OMG, check this out.
         LULU:  That's it!   I'm going to take a little field trip over to the PCPD and cut someone.  Maybe two someones.  Wish me luck.

   
        Q MANSION

         MICHAEL:  I can't wait to see our baby for the first time.
         SABRINA:  (to Michael) Well, you're not going to SEE much. (to herself) Michael CANNOT see how far along I am.  What if the baby looks like Carrrrrrrrrrrlos?
         LIZ:  Where's Jason?
         MICHAEL:  You mean he's not with you?
         LIZ:  No.  He's not with you either?
         MICHAEL:  Nope.
         LIZ:  I bet I know where he is AND who he's with.

      
       
       PCPD

         VALERIE:  We nailed a perp AND I LIKED IT!  
         DANTE:  Valerie, allow me to explain the concept of OBSERVATION.
         VALERIE:  Aw, come on, we had FUN busting that perp, didn't we?
         MICHAEL:  So, Dante, will you be arresting Nikolas anytime soon so I can get ELQ back?
     

       HOSPITAL

        ANNA:  (on the phone with Patrick) How's Emma?  Have they found her stranger danger lady yet?
       PATRICK:  Not yet.  Nobody who fits her description comes up in the criminal database.   I sure wish you were still commish. 
       ANNA:  We need to talk.  I'll see you when you come in.
       DR. MADDOX:  Drop something?
      ANNA: Thank you.
      DR. MADDOX:  What do we have here?  Self-medication?
      ANNA:  Save your questions for your actual patients, Dr. Maddox.
       DR. MADDOX:   You need to confront your demons, Ms. Devane.  Particularly the ghost of Carrrrrrrrlos.

   
      METROCOURT

      MAXIE:  The Homewrecker strikes again!  I know you and Dante were CANOODLING in his cop car last night and I KNOW you sent him a sappy lovey-dovey email this morning.
     VALERIE:  Break the law much, Maxie?   Count your lucky stars I'm not a cop yet.
      MAXIE:  At least I'm not banging my cousin's hubby.   Seriously, Valerie, she's YOUR COUSIN!
     VALERIE:  And she's acting like a little bitch.  Not that it's any of your business, but I'm a cadet at the police academy and they ASSIGNED me to ride along with Dante and work a stakeout and I'll have you know we NAILED that perp.   THAT'S what the email was about.   The thrill of nailing perps.  YOU HAPPY NOW, Lulu's vigilante BFF???
 

      PCPD

      LULU:  Dante Falconeri, you are a lying, cheating ASS and I KNOW you've been snuggling up to my cousin.  I KNOW about the email.   
     DANTE:  Lulu, can we not do this here?   Come into the interrogation room.
     LULU:  So now you want to INTERROGATE ME?   I'm the one who should be interrogating YOU!

 
    HOSPITAL

     PATRICK:  (on the phone with Sam) So what did you decide.
     SAM:  I have to find Jason.  I have to help him recover his Jason-ness.
     PATRICK:  Be careful with those Cassadines.  That step-grandmother of yours has more knives than this whole hospital has scalpels and she has guns too.
      SAM:  I AM a Cassadine.   That's why Jason needs my help.  I know all the secret Cassadine handshakes from back when I didn't loathe Nikolas.  
 

    PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE

    LIZ:  Where's Jason?
    SAM:   That's what I'm about to find out.
    LIZ:  No you ARE NOT!   YOU are staying home and I am going to go find Jason because he loves ME and he FORGOT about loving you.
    SAM:  I am TOO going to find Jason and I'm leaving right now
    LIZ:  Then I'm coming with you.
    SAM:  (sighing loudly) FINE. But you're Ethel.  I'm Lucy.  Are we clear? 


    INTERROGATION ROOM

    LULU:  So, you don't want me throwing shade at you in front of your cop friends?  Boo-freakin'-HOO!
    DANTE:  I was trying to save you from confessing to a crime in front of "my cop friends".   You're welcome.
    LULU:  I committed a crime?   ME?   BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
    DANTE:  Last I checked, hacking is illegal.
    LULU:  Last I checked, people in the 17th century who cheated on their spouses got stoned and hanged.  That is, after they wore a big red A on their chest for ADULTERY! 
   DANTE:  As far as I know, your brother Nikolas's family still believes in that sort of punishment.  Around here, we just throw people in cells and occasionally give them juice boxes.  And that's only if they ACTUALLY COMMIT CRIMES.  Look, I only slept with Valerie ONCE.   ONCE on July 4th.   She's in the police academy and she got assigned to me for a stakeout, which was successful, by the way.   Catching perps took a lot out of her on her first day, so she dozed off, that's all.

 
    HOSPITAL

    PATRICK:  So, Sam's gone chasin' Jason.
    ANNA:  Good for her.
    PATRICK:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
    ANNA:  She needs to find out if there's anything left between the two of them.  It wouldn't be fair to either of you if she didn't.   Have a little faith in Sam, Patrick.

      SABRINA:  Hey, Stephanie, right?   Stephanie, can you cancel my appointment with Dr. Lee.  I can't have my boyfriend knowing that I'm further along than he thinks and I might be carrying my ex's baby.
      STEPHANIE:  Ooooooookay.

     ANNA:  Hello, Sabrina.  Is everything okay with the baby?
     SABRINA:  Everything's fine.   Any word on who killed Carrrrrrrrrrrrrlos?  (to herself) whose baby I might be having
    ANNA:  (to herself) It was ME! (to Sabrina) That case is colder than a dead Cassadine in a cryo lab.  See ya.
    GHOST CARRRRRRRRRLOS:  (clapping slowly)  Muy bien, Anna!  Fantastico!   Carrrrrrrrrrrlos lives forever IN YOUR MIIIIIIIND!  

    ANNA:  Dr. Maddox, I'm ready to face my ghosts--I mean my demons.
    DR. MADDOX:  Come on in.  This town has to have the most entertaining patients I've ever had.   No wonder they call it Port Chuckles!