Maxie has a makeover project in her new "boss" Nina. Dr. Maddox interviews Franco and is not lost for questions. Franco and Morgan inspire Kiki to look for a job. Alexis asks a favor of Olivia. Carly hires Epiphany as Sonny's physical therapist. Valerie begins her first day as a police academy cadet by working a stakeout with Dante. Olivia appeals to Lulu to try to work things out with Dante. A visit from Carly brings out rage in Ava.
CRIMSON OFFICE
MAXIE: We need to save Crimson from going down the toilet.
NINA: Yeah, we need to do that. How are we doing to do that?
MAXIE: I'm confused. Who is whose boss here?
NINA: I hired you to tell me what the hell to do, so I'm your boss and I'm telling you to tell me what to do.
MAXIE: Glad we got that cleared up. Here. Read this magazine and get some inspiration.
NINA: We need to do a photo shoot in an African country just like this magazine.
NINA/FRANCO/KIKI'S APARTMENT
FRANCO: You need to get a job and be nicer to Nina.
KIKI: Okay, whatever.
DR. MADDOX'S OFFICE
DR. MADDOX: So, Franco, you call yourself? It says here you are a serial killer artist obsessed with death.
FRANCO: That's when I looked like this other guy and I had a serial killer tumor in my brain.
DR. MADDOX: Intriguing. However, you have been involved in some criminal activity since said tumor was removed.
FRANCO: That resulted in no loss of life, thank you very much. I was just trying to help my friend, well she's my girlfriend now even though all we've done is make out, and things got out of hand when she lost her mind and thought another woman's baby was hers.
DR. MADDOX: I see. So you helped this girlfriend of yours kidnap a baby and flee the country.
FRANCO: We went to Canada. Big deal. I had to help her realize that it wasn't her kid without all those pesky distractions around.
DR. MADDOX: Here's another interesting tidbit from your fascinating history: Just this year, you injected yourself with a disturbingly high dose of LSD.
FRANCO: Come on, doc! My crazy mother was about to shoot up my girlfriend with a lethal dose of the stuff. I saved her life, doc.
DR. MADDOX: Are you, or have you ever, affiliated yourself with the Pastafarians and/or worshiped the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
FRANCO: The thought crossed my mind, but do you see a colander on my head?
DR. OBRECHT: Now zat's enough of zat! Zis session is over. Velcome back to vork, Franco!
METROCOURT
LULU: Alexis, I want to file for separation with Dante. Please make it happen.
ALEXIS: Sure. Just call my people and we'll set something up.
OLIVIA: OMG, Julian! Leo just said his first full sentence!
JULIAN: Please tell me it was "Where is Da-Da?"
OLIVIA: Close, it was "Cannolis are yummy, Mama."
ALEXIS: He's, what, five months old?
OLIVIA: Oh and he can speak some Italian too.
JULIAN: As long as he knows who his Papa is, right?
AVA'S PENTHOUSE
PAUL: Now don't go all domestic on me, Ava. Your next assignment is to sex some information out of Morgan about his father.
AVA: Real mature, Paul. Morgan already thought of that one. Nobody pimps Ava Jerome out.
PAUL: Well, you'd better rustle up some of that killer instinct before I rustle up a certain flash drive with a certain recording that can get you sent right back to the pen.
SONNY'S HOUSE
EPIPHANY: I'm here and I'm ready to get your ass outta that wheelchair.
SONNY: Say WHAAAAAAAAAT? What the hell, Carly?
CARLY: You want to walk again?
EPIPHANY: I'll take it from here, Mrs. Corinthos. As for you, scram!
CARLY: But...but...
EPIPHANY: You don't mess with Piph!
DANTE'S COP CAR
VALERIE: You know how I just started cop school? Guess who gets to train me?
DANTE: This isn't going to be awkward at all.
VALERIE: So, how's Lulu? Does she still hate both of our guts?
DANTE: Basically, yeah.
NINA/FRANCO/KIKI'S APARTMENT
KIKI: Franco says I need a job.
MORGAN: It couldn't hurt. What can you do?
KIKI: Hmmm...good question. I can sell crabs.
MORGAN: Seeing that my mom owns half of the MetroCourt, you could always wait tables.
NATHAN: Knock knock
KIKI: Nina's not here. She's at "work".
NATHAN: I'm here for Franco.
KIKI: He's at work too. Sort of.
METROCOURT
OLIVIA: Lulu, you've got to talk to Dante and work things out with him because he loves you SO SO SO SO much.
LULU: I'm still WAY too pissed at Dante over that little thing he did called cheating on me WITH MY COUSIN.
AVA'S PENTHOUSE
CARLY: Are you happy you psycho BITCH, for that stunt you pulled in court with my hubby?
AVA: It's not like I was the one threatening to riddle HIM with bullets.
CARLY: There's no way in HELL you are keeping Sonny's little girl. We're coming after you, AVA. Oh, and stay away from Morgan while you're at it.
AVA: As IF he could stay away from ME.
CRIMSON OFFICE
NINA: Julian, can we go to Africa and take some pretty pictures for the magazine?
JULIAN: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You have a budget of two dollars and forty-five cents. Good luck with that.
NINA: Maxie, what are we going to do? I have no idea how to run a magazine on a shoestring. I'm a friggin' HEIRESS for crying out loud!
MAXIE: You're going to be the new face of Crimson. MAKEOVER TIME!!!!!
SONNY'S HOUSE
SONNY: What the hell are we doin' here?
EPIPHANY: Making sure your legs don't turn to jello while your brain can't make them move, that's what.
SONNY: Make sense, I guess. How long is this gonna take?
EPIPHANY: Didn't Drake, Jr. explain to you how the brain and spinal cord work? It's up to ME to make sure you do your exercises so you got legs to walk on again.
SONNY: (phone rings) I gotta take this.
EPIPHANY: (grabs phone and tosses it) What did I say about messin' with Piph? YA JUST DON'T DO IT!
AVA'S PENTHOUSE
AVA: TO HELL with Sonny and Carly! They WILL NOT take my daughter away from me
and they will most certainly NOT take away MY TERRITORY!
PAUL: The fire's back, Ava Jerome. THE FIRE IS BACK! (Has sex with Ava)
METROCOURT
ALEXIS: Um, Olivia, do you and Baby Leo want to come over and have some turkey at my brand spankin' new house? I would really love to hear him speak Italian.
OLIVIA: Sure, we'll drop by. Maybe Rocco can hang out with his little baby uncle.
KIKI: My fake dad and my ex-boyfriend think I need a job. Can you help me?
DANTE'S COP CAR
VALERIE: Stakeouts are exhausting (falls asleep on Dante's shoulder)
OUTSIDE DANTE'S CAR
LULU: OMG! They just can't stay AWAY FROM EACH OTHER! Screw separation! I am SO filing for divorce now.
"DR. MADDOX: Are you, or have you ever, affiliated yourself with the Pastafarians and/or worshiped the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
ReplyDeleteFRANCO: The thought crossed my mind, but do you see a colander on my head?"
ROFL! You heard about that woman who put a colander on her head didn't you? :)
"OLIVIA: Oh and he can speak some Italian too."
Hahahaha! Little uncle Leo can speak Italian! YAY! ROFL!
"ROFL! You heard about that woman who put a colander on her head didn't you? :)"
ReplyDeleteYeah, I did and I seriously thought it was something from The Onion. Absolutely hilarious and it totally sounds like something Franco might do. At least Roger Howarth's Franco. Especially if he was on Heather Webber's LSD ;)
"Hahahaha! Little uncle Leo can speak Italian! YAY! ROFL!"
Baby Uncle Leo is a teeny tiny genius, at least according to his gramma Olivia.
"Yeah, I did and I seriously thought it was something from The Onion."
ReplyDeleteHahaha. Well, life is stranger than fiction. :)
"Absolutely hilarious and it totally sounds like something Franco might do. At least Roger Howarth's Franco. Especially if he was on Heather Webber's LSD ;)"
ROFL! True! :)
"Baby Uncle Leo is a teeny tiny genius, at least according to his gramma Olivia."
Gramma Olivia! ROFL!