Talkin' Turkey, Part II: Let's Get Pizza!

      Dillon and Paul's experiment with a deep fryer goes awry and the Q Thanksgiving disaster tradition continues.   Thus, the Qs have their annual Turkey Day pizza.  At the Drakes, Patrick invites Dr. Maddox, who has an awkward encounter with his patient, Anna.  At Alexis and Julian's brand spankin' new lake house, the Davis girls, minus Sam, Julian, Leo and Olivia, and Ava and Avery put aside differences and partake of a ginormous feast.   Laura has a quiet Thanksgiving with Lulu and Rocco.  Dante is joined by Valerie and they continue a rather disturbing tradition. 

       Q MANSION

         DILLON:  Get ready for some deep-fried turkey.  Dad and I are going do some much-belated father-son bonding with a deep fryer and whip up a Q Thanksgiving feast for the ages.
         TRACY:  This can't end well.
         PAUL:  I think I'm insulted!   Who says a district attorney can't fry a turkey and mash some yams? 
        MONICA:  The same people who know exactly what will happen when Lucy holds a football for Charlie Brown to kick. 
        MICHAEL:  Where's Jason?   I want to tell him he's going to be a great-uncle.
        SABRINA:  (to herself)  I hope Carrrrrrrrrrlos isn't still camped out on my couch.

     
       PATRICK & SAM'S HOUSE

         PATRICK:  Guess who's coming to Thanksgiving Dinner?   The new town shrink, that's who.  Dr. Andre Maddox, meet the fam.  My daughter Emma, my fiancee Sam, Sam's boy Danny, and my ex mother-in-law Anna.
         ANNA:  (to herself) Thanksgiving with my shrink.  Awkward much?  (to Dr. Maddox) Nice to meet you. 
         DR. MADDOX:  (to himself)  So much for professional distance from my patients.  (to Anna) Nice to meet you too. 
         EMMA:  Hi Andre.  I'm Emma.  Are you single?
         DR. MADDOX:  I tend to like my women a little older.
         EMMA:  You like older women?  You should date my grandma! 
       

         ALEXIS & JULIAN'S LAKE HOUSE

         JULIAN:  Who wants Italian food for Thanksgiving?
         ALEXIS:  The Quartermaines?   They always end up ordering pizza.
         OLIVIA:  I come bearing chicken parm ...and cannolis.   I'm never without cannolis.
         BABY UNCLE LEO:  (translated from Baby) Have I been here before?   Is this guy my daddy?  I'm so confused.
          MOLLY:  Mom, do I have to be nice to Julian because it's Thanksgiving?
          ALEXIS:  No.  You have to be nice to Julian because it's Thursday.  And tomorrow you'll have to be nice to him because it's Friday.  And on Saturday...
          MOLLY:  I get it, mom.  I get it. 
          KRISTINA:  Well, he did get you this amazing brand spankin' new house. 
          MOLLY:  Only because he blew the other one up.
          KRISTINA:  You have a point.
          ALEXIS:  To be fair, Julian didn't blow that house up himself.  Luke did when he was being inhabited by the evil ghost of his horrible, bigoted, abusive father. 
        

          METROCOURT

          AVERY:  (translated from Baby) Thanksgiving in a HOTEL RESTAURANT?   Seriously, Mom? 
          AVA:  You have a point, sweetie.   Let's crash your uncle Julian's Thanksgiving at that brand spankin' new lake house he bought Alexis. 
      
          LULU:   I did it.  I dropped the separation papers off at Dante's.
          LAURA:  And?   Did he sign them?
          ROCCO:  Where's Daddy?
          LULU:  No, but he didn't rip them to shreds like I secretly wanted him to either. 
          LAURA:  How very passive-aggressive of you, honey.   Do YOU want to separate from Dante?
          LULU:  I despise his cheating cheaterface, but I also still love him.   I'M SO CONFUSED!
          LAURA:  You can always un-separate from him. 
          LULU:  That's what I'll do.  I'll have Alexis file the un-separation papers and I'll surprise him.

 
         DANTE'S APARTMENT

         DANTE:  How did I know it would be you, Valerie?   Oh, yeah, it's a holiday and Lulu and I are on the outs.
         VALERIE:  I kinda wanted to make you Thanksgiving dinner because, let's face it, where the hell else was I going to go?  Aunt Bobbie and Carly are with your dad.  Lulu hates me.   I barely know Lucas.  Wyndemere is still creepy.  That leaves you.
          DANTE:  Like football?
          VALERIE:  Hell yeah.  Go Bills!  Someone has to beat the Patriots. 
          DANTE:  Stick around.  Just to watch the game.   It's no fun yelling at the TV and hating on all things Boston sports by myself.

       
          Q MANSION

           MICHAEL:  Jason, you came!  Great news!  You're going to be a great-uncle.  Me and Sabs are having a brand new Q.  
           JASON:  Congrats!   At least this will be one member of this Q family that I will actually remember.
           MICHAEL:  No luck there?
           JASON:   Helena bought the farm before she could tell me anything of use.  She was too busy cursing Sam and arguing with Elizabeth to fill me in the first however many years of my life I've completely forgotten.
           JAKE:  The Empress is dead?  (drops crystal decoration that somewhat resembles The Ice Princess)
           LIZ:  What  the?    Jake, are you okay?
           SPIRIT OF HELENA:  Fear not, my child.  Cassadines do not die.   Death is for peasants.   The Empress lives.   My silly grandson merely laced my tea with a little something-something to make me sleep for awhile.
         

          SAM & PATRICK'S HOUSE

          EMMA:  I'm going to play Tiny Tim in A Christmas Carol.  It's about this guy Scrooge who hates Christmas and these ghosts that show him his future and make him a nicer person.   It's kind of like the Grinch, but more old-timey and stuff.
          ANNA:  (to herself) Speaking of ghosts, is Carrrrrrrrrrrrlos still a ghost or is he alive and I'm off the hook?
         DR. MADDOX:  (to himself) Ms. Devane has unresolved ghost issues.  Maybe she should skip this play.  I think she just turned a shade of green. 

       
         ALEXIS & JULIAN'S LAKEHOUSE

         AVA:  Would you deny this adorable baby a cozy family Thanksgiving dinner?
         OLIVIA:  Um, yeah.  (slams door in Ava's face)
         AVA:  (rings doorbell again)  If at first you don't succeed, Avery, you need to try, try again. 
         JULIAN:  Come on in, sis.  Hey there, Avery.
         AVERY:  Baby! 
         JULIAN:  This is your baby cousin Leo.  
         AVERY:  Baby!
         KRISTINA:  Hi Avery.  I'm your big sister Kristina.  Your mommy won't let you see your daddy, who's my daddy too. 
         AVERY:  BABY BABY BABY!
         BABY UNCLE LEO:  (Translated from Baby) What's a cousin?  Does that mean I'm her uncle too?  I'M SO CONFUSED!!!! 
       
       
           Q MANSION

            SAM:  OMG, Jason, what are YOU doing here?
            JASON:  They tell me I'm a Quartermaine and this is where the Quartermaines live.
            DANNY:  DADDY!!!! 
            LIZ:  Sam, can we, like, try not to hate each other too much on Thanksgiving? 
            SAM:  I don't know, Elizabeth.  Can we?
            LIZ:  Hey, at least I tried to not mention the cranberry sauce stain on your shirt. 
            JAKE:  Hey Danny, my grandma told me a secret about our daddy. 
            TURKEY FRIER:  BZZZZZZZTTTTTSSSSSSSSSSS crackle crackle crackle.  Who needs electricity anyway? 
            EVERYONE AT THE Q MANSION:  What the????
            PAUL:  Sorry guys.  We lost an argument with a turkey and the deep fryer blew a fuse. 
            DILLON:  Looks like the grid got deep fried instead.
            JASON:  I'm feeling like some pizza. 
            LIZ:  (to herself)  CRAP!   He remembers the Q Thanksgiving traditions and soon he's going to remember EVERYTHING! 
            MONICA:  Did you just REMEMBER something, Jason? 
            JASON:  What?  I was just more in a mood for pizza than turkey. 

        
           ALEXIS & JULIAN'S LAKEHOUSE

           ALEXIS:  Ladies, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, let's pretend not to hate each other for, I don't know, at least an hour. 
           AVA:  I'm in if Italian Mama is in.
           OLIVIA:  It's probably not a good idea to go Real Housewives in front of the babies. 
           AVERY:  BABY!  
           OLIVIA:  Let's all join hands and bless the turkey.
           AVERY:  NO!
           JULIAN:  Hey, it's okay Avery.  We're open to all spiritual beliefs here, right Baby Mama?

         
           DANTE'S APARTMENT

           DANTE:  Don't look now, but your team might just actually win this game.
           VALERIE:  OMG!   Touchdown!
           DANTE:  It's a holiday.  Lulu served me separation papers so I won't technically be cheating if we have sex.
           VALERIE:  I'll have holiday sex with you anytime.  And we don't have to wait another 4 months because Christmas is just around the corner. 
         

           Q MANSION

            MONICA:  Pizza's here.
            DANNY:  Let me at it! 
            TRACY:  First we sing, then we eat.
            EVERYONE AT THE Q MANSION:  We gather together...
            JASON:  Is this sing along and pizza shindig a thing every year?
            MICHAEL:  Pretty much.