He's Not That Into You

    Carly reunites Jason and Sonny, but Jason is not feeling it.  Nina goes on a job interview.  Julian does something that shocks Alexis.   Franco wants his hospital job back.  Maxie confronts Dillon on his public humiliation of Lulu.  Laura gives Dante some advice on how to deal with a Spencer.

   
   LIZ'S HOUSE

   CARLY:   Jason, I need you to show your face to Sonny so you can be Sason again. 
   JASON:  What's a Sason?   And why do I want to be one? 
   CARLY:  You and Sonny were like peas and carrots, peanut butter and jelly, macaroni and cheese, need I go on? 
    JASON:  Do I have to?  
    CARLY:  Sonny needs you to be a stand-in for his daughter.  
   
   
    NINA/FRANCO/KIKI'S APARTMENT

     FRANCO:  Hey Nina, let's go torment Olivia by our mere presence at the MetroCourt.
     NINA:  No can do.  I have a job interview.  
     FRANCO:  Who needs a job when you're filthy rich?  
     NINA:  My life needs a purpose.
     FRANCO:  So does mine, so I'm going on a job interview too.
     NINA:  Copycat.


     HAUNTED STAR

      MAXIE:  That was a total sleazebag move humiliating my best friend and making this party an utter DISASTER!
      DILLON:  But...but...I saw Dante with Valerie and I got all the bad feels!  
      MAXIE:  Been there, done that.   Welcome to the Selfish Idiot Club.  
      DILLON:  Hey, at least I have company.   I was getting lonely all in the doghouse.  
      MAXIE:  So, where are we going to shoot the movie now?
      DILLON:  There will be no movie.  
      MAXIE:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?   You were supposed to make me into a hip, edgy, independent movie CELEBRITY!  
     

      WYNDEMERE

       LULU:  Dante and I are history
       LAURA:  I'm so sorry, honey.   What happened?  
       LULU:  The rat bastard slept with my COUSIN!  
       LAURA:  I'm so sorry, honey.  At least he kept it in the family.
       LULU:  I want a divorce.  
       LAURA:  Don't rush into anything, sweetie.  
       ROCCO:  Why does this scary castle place look so familiar?  

     
      SONNY'S HOUSE

      CARLY:  Sonny,  I want you to meet someone. 
      SONNY:  I'm still pissed at you for choosing your friend's wedding over my custody hearing. 
      CARLY:  I know, but this person might make you feel better. 
      SONNY:  What's that Jake dude doin' here?   Shouldn't he be on his honeymoon with Elizabeth? 
      JASON:  About that...I'm sorta still married to someone else.  Whodathunkit? 
      SONNY:  What the hell, Carly?   What's up with this clown? 
      JASON:  Apparently I'm Jason Morgan.  
      SONNY:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???? 

     
      JULIAN'S OFFICE

      ALEXIS:  What's all that on your computer, Julian? 
      JULIAN:  Uncle Sam's after me. 
      NINA:  I'm here for a job interview. 
      ALEXIS:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? 
      NINA:  I have an amazing fashion sense and I want to work for Crimson. 
      JULIAN:  That's all I need to know.  You're hired.  
      ALEXIS:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?  

     
      NINA/FRANCO/KIKI'S APARTMENT

     LIESL OBRECHT:  Vy did you call me here, Franco?  Vat is ze matter?  
     FRANCO:  I want to be an art therapist again.  Can I have my old job back? 
     LIESL OBRECHT:  Ah, Liebchen, as much as I vould love to vork viss you again, I need you to see ze new shrink for a psychological evaluation.  It is new hospital policy.  
     FRANCO:  What gives, Liesl?  Are you upset that I haven't come over to watch the Hoff with you because we could totally still do that. 
     LIESL OBRECHT:  It vas not my idea.  If ze shrink sinks you are sane, I vill gladly give you your job back. 

    
     WYNDEMERE

      DANTE:  Hi Lulu.  Remember when you didn't hate me? 
      LULU:  Get away from me you cousin-boinker.  I'm outta here.  
      DANTE:  Lulu!   We need to talk about how I will never cheat on you ever again. 
      LAURA:  Let her go, Dante.   Spencers need time to simmer down.  I know.  I was married to one too, you know.
      DANTE:  But how are we going to get past this if we don't talk about it?  
      LAURA:  By pretending she doesn't exist for awhile.   It's called giving her space.  

   
     NINA/FRANCO/KIKI'S APARTMENT

     MAXIE:  Here's Nina's check.  The movie's off.
     FRANCO:  What do you mean it's off?   Nina was looking forward to being Madame Producer.  
     NINA:  I got the job!   I'm the new editor-in-chief at Crimson! 
     MAXIE:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?   Have you ever even READ Crimson?  
     NINA:  I was kind of in a coma for 23 years so no.  
     MAXIE: I used to help Kate Howard run this place back when she was Kate Howard and before her personality got all split in two and then she died. 
     NINA:  Okay, I'll be the editor and you can do all the work.  Deal?  

   
      SONNY'S HOUSE

      SONNY:  Let me tell you a little story about Jason Morgan and how he was my right-hand man and the best hitman I have ever seen in my entire life. 
      JASON:  Thanks, but no thanks. 
      SONNY:  Whatsamatter?   You don't want to be my friend?  
      JASON:  I'm not sure I want to be this Jason Morgan everyone talks non-stop about in this town.  
      CARLY:  Jason!  Sonny NEEDS you!  
     
     
      HAUNTED STAR

     LULU:  You scumbag! 
     DILLON:  So I wanted to expose your lying, cheating hubby, so sue me. 
     LULU:  And HUMILIATE ME in the process!   Let's make out. 
     DILLON:  Dreams really do come true.