Emma takes a bite out of a potential kidnapper. Patrick and Sam begin to drift apart. Jason demands answers from Nikolas as Tracy urges Hayden to hurry up and do her job. Liz confronts Sam about Jason. Lucas gives Carly some advice on dealing with Sonny. Morgan disobeys his father and pays a visit to Ava. Paul urges Ava to put the momming on hold in favor of the mobbing.
PORT CHUCKLES PARK
STRANGER: Please help me find my teeny tiny miniature chihuahua puppy. She's one inch tall, weighs two ounces and is practically invisible and SO SO SCARED!
EMMA: I'm sure she's around here somewhere.
STRANGER: But you're closer to the ground. Can you help me look. Her name is Bella.
EMMA: But you're a stranger and I really shouldn't be talking to you.
STRANGER: Stranger shmanger! Lets go.
EMMA: (bites the stranger) STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!
STRANGER: AGGGGHHHH You REALLY ARE A VAMPIRE!
TRACY: Will you hurry up and get ELQ back for me? What's taking so damn long?
HAYDEN: You can't hurry love...er...seduction. You just have to wait. Because seduction don't come easy. It's a game of give or take.
TRACY: Well I can't TAKE it anymore. If you don't get your hands on MY FAMILY'S COMPANY I'll tell your bed buddy that a certain wannabe princess in his castle is working for the other side.
HAYDEN: Oh PLEASE! I have the perfect leverage over Princey Pie.
SONNY'S HOUSE
SONNY: There will be NO RAMPS, NO RAILINGS, AND NONE OF THOSE SEAT THINGIES THAT TAKE MY TEMPORARILY CRIPPLED ASS UP THE STAIRS!
CARLY: Well good luck getting around this place, stubborn hubby!
CONTRACTOR: Great, what am I supposed to do now?
CARLY: Just get lost and put whatever the hell ramps you want. The man's gotta bathe.
SONNY: Max, I need you to keep an eye on Ava. Look, but don't touch.
MORGAN: I can do that, Dad. I'll pretend to want to jump her bones again and she'll sing like a canary. She knows she can't get enough of this.
MAX: (rolls eyes)
SONNY: Thanks, but no thanks, son. STAY OUTTA DA BIZNESS!
PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE
SAM: Patrick, I kissed Jason, but it didn't bring back his memories.
PATRICK: Remind me to explain neurological phenomena to you sometime. What did you expect would happen?
SAM: I don't know.
PATRICK: Do you love Jason more than you love me?
SAM: I don't know.
PATRICK: Well, you obviously want him to get his memory back so he'll come running into your arms.
SAM: Well...
PATRICK: That's all I need to know.
SECRET CASSADINE LAB
GOON: I hope you learned your lesson, Dr. Scorpio-Drake. If you play by Madam's rules, your daughter is safe and sound and snug as a bug in a rug. If you disobey...well, your spirited daughter may not be able to bite her way out next time.
ROBIN: Not like any of this matters. Jason knows he's Jason now so he will come after you with all of his Jason-ness.
GOON: Yeah, good luck with that.
WYNDEMERE
JASON: Spit it out, Cassadine. You knew who I was all along.
NIKOLAS: PFFFFFFFT! The only one who knew was my sweet diabolical frail, dying grandmother who is living out the remainder of her days in Greece. Her vocal cords were removed so she can't give you the answers you're looking for.
JASON: Frail vocal cord-less grandma my ass! My memory may be on the blank, but I know my way out of here and to the airport.
AVA'S PENTHOUSE
PAUL: Look what I brought for you too-adorable one-year-old future operative. A teddy bear with a spycam. It's what every future toddler mobster needs!
AVA: How sweet. Now why did you really stop by?
PAUL: To tell you go get back to work. The mob stops for no mother.
AVA: What do you want me to do? Attack Sonny's shipments while Avery is down for her nap?
PAUL: No, just facilitate some transactions for me.
AVA: What are we transacting? Guns? Drugs? The must-have toy of the 2015 holiday season?
PORT CHUCKLES PARK
TRACY: Emma, sweetheart, what happened?
EMMA: A stranger lady tried to make me help her find her one-inch puppy and then yanked on my arm so I bit her, she called me a vampire, and she ran away. I bit her on the hand, Mrs. Quartermaine. Even I know vampires bite people on the neck!
TRACY: You GO girl! Maybe YOU should be the one helping me get my family's company back. Your daddy's on the way to pick you up.
SONNY'S HOUSE
LUCAS: Here's what you should do about Sonny, sis. Hire a badass physical therapist to whip him into shape and piss him off so the heat is off of you.
CARLY: And where do I find one of those? Sonny wants nothing to do with the hospital. No offense.
LUCAS: I'll find one. I have connections there.
CARLY: Thanks, Lucas.
AVA'S PENTHOUSE
MORGAN: Let me in, dammit! I have toys for Avery.
AVA: Let him in.
MORGAN: These are her favorite PJs. And here's her blanket. You know we are never never never getting back together, right?
AVA: Never say never.
MORGAN: Because Kiki is still pissed at both of us and we're on opposite sides of a mob war and all.
AVA: If you think you can sex my mob secrets out of me, Morgan, you have another think coming.
PORT CHUCKLES PARK
EMMA: Daddy, are Sam and Danny going away with Danny's daddy?
PATRICK: How did you know about Danny's Daddy?
EMMA: Spencer told me.
PATRICK: And where was Spencer when Stranger Lady came after you?
EMMA: Chandler made him leave. But is it true, Daddy? Am I going to lose Sam and Danny like I lost Mommy?
PATRICK: I don't know, sweetie. Sam and Danny have to figure it out for themselves. But you'll always have your Daddy.
PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE
SAM: Elizabeth, what do you want?
LIZ: I want YOU to leave MY FIANCE alone and stop making him remember stuff he can't remember and is better off not remembering.
SAM: So this is a "hands off my man" warning. Where have I heard that before?
LIZ: Jason does not have a tattoo on his forehead that says "Property of Elizabeth Webber".
SAM: Not YET but it's only a matter of time, right?
PROBABLY SOMEWHERE ALONG RTE 31
JASON: See ya, Port Chuckles!
Monday, November 16, 2015
Friday, November 13, 2015
Disconnect
Robin's efforts to communicate with Patrick are thwarted by what is assumed to be Helena's goons. Jason and Sam share a kiss, but he still can't remember being her husband. Hayden crashes Laura, Nikolas, and Liz's discussion of keeping their secret from Jason. Emma worries to Spencer that she could be losing Sam and Danny if Sam gets back together with Jason. Tracy disapproves of Paul hiring Anna.
SECRET CASSADINE LAB
ROBIN: (over phone) Patrick, I need to tell you something about Jason.
PATRICK: That he's alive. I know. Sam knows. Elizabeth knows. Hell, all of Port Chuckles knows that Jason's alive.
ROBIN: There's more to it. Jason--
PATRICK: Robin? Robin? What the hell?
HELENA GOON #1: Step away from the phone. Hang up. NOW!
PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE
SAM: Jason, I know that deep down in your unconscious mind you remember loving me.
JASON: Well, I WAS frozen, unfrozen, then run over by an SUV, then had two brain surgeries, one to remove a Cassadine brainwashing chip from my head, so stuff got lost along the way. Unfortunately, my being your husband completely dropped out of my brain.
SAM: Is it because I left the dragon and the phoenix at Noodle Buddha? Because I can go there and get the back.
JASON: I think I'm remembering something. (kisses Sam)
PARK
EMMA: Daddy's been acting really weird lately. He told me after Jake Doe and Elizabeth's wedding that something happened that I wouldn't understand.
SPENCER: Hayden told me that Jake Doe isn't really Jake Doe. It's Jason Morgan.
EMMA: Jason Morgan is Sam's husband! That means she can't marry Daddy and she can't be my new mommy.
SPENCER: But Father tells me Jason doesn't even remember being married to Sam. Something about freezing and unfreezing his brain and being run over by a car.
EMMA: But what if Sam makes him remember? Then she will go back to live with him and take Danny with her and I'll lose my little almost brother.
PAUL'S OFFICE
PAUL: Drop the Sonny investigation, Anna. That's an ORDER!
ANNA: Why are you so hell-bent on not finding out who shot Sonny?
PAUL: (to self) Because I shot him (to Anna) Because I'm trying to cover YOUR ass.
TRACY: Don't mind me, Anna. I'm just asking my ex-hubby on a lunch date. So, ex-hubby, what do you say? (Anna leaves)
PAUL: What do YOU want?
TRACY: First of all, to know what the hell THAT woman was doing in your office and second, to go out to lunch with you. Remember how we have a son together?
PAUL: Anna works for me.
TRACY: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
WYNDEMERE
LAURA: Does Jason know you've been hiding his identity for all these months?
LIZ: No and he's never going to find out if I have anything to do with it.
LAURA: Remember how I used to like you?
NIKOLAS: It's best that we leave well enough alone, Mother. Jason knows who he is now, so there's no need for him to know how long we knew.
HAYDEN: I'm inclined to agree. That is, until I find myself inclined to disagree.
LAURA: (As if she were Jerry Seinfeld greeting Newman) Hello, Hayden.
HAYDEN: So, the three of you in a little huddle about your BIG BAD SECRET? How adorable!
LIZ: Eat dirt, Hayden!
HAYDEN: I've been told to eat worse things.
LIZ: I bet you have.
HAYDEN: Nikolas and I have a little arrangement. I won't tell as long as he doesn't give me a reason to.
LAURA: Smells like blackmail to me.
SECRET LAB
GOON: You disobedient little scientist you! Hand me the phone!
ROBIN'S PHONE: RING RING RING RING RING!
ROBIN: Pick it up! It's my husband. PICK MY DAMN PHONE UP!
GOON: I have a better idea. (turns the phone off and puts it in his pocket)
ROBIN: So do I (knocks the goon upside the head with a beaker)
HOSPITAL
PATRICK: (over phone) Robin, what is it you wanted to tell me about Jason.
ROBIN: That I'm sorry I told you he was dead. Or something like that.
PATRICK: Not buying it. There's more. Spit it out.
ROBIN: I'm so sorry about what Jason has been through. I've gotta--
GOON #2: Tsk Tsk Tsk! Madam wishes to punish you now.
OUTSIDE WYNDEMERE
HAYDEN: Sorry I'm late. I was having too much fun munching on invisible popcorn and listening to a highly entertaining conversation. Living in this place is better than Netflix!
TRACY: I do not tolerate lateness. Did you do what I asked?
HAYDEN: Yes, I did. We're in business.
TRACY: Don't you forget that.
PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE
JASON: Sam, I'm really sorry none of this being your hubby stuff is coming back to me, but you're going to have to let it go. I am going to strongarm some answers out of some Cassadines.
SAM: Let me come with you. I AM a Cassadine. You may not remember, but I have badass ninja skills.
JASON: This is a job for me and me alone.
PARK
STRANGER LADY: I've lost my dog. Can you help me find him? He's so tiny he might as well be invisible.
EMMA: Okay, but I really shouldn't be talking to strangers.
SECRET CASSADINE LAB
ROBIN: (over phone) Patrick, I need to tell you something about Jason.
PATRICK: That he's alive. I know. Sam knows. Elizabeth knows. Hell, all of Port Chuckles knows that Jason's alive.
ROBIN: There's more to it. Jason--
PATRICK: Robin? Robin? What the hell?
HELENA GOON #1: Step away from the phone. Hang up. NOW!
PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE
SAM: Jason, I know that deep down in your unconscious mind you remember loving me.
JASON: Well, I WAS frozen, unfrozen, then run over by an SUV, then had two brain surgeries, one to remove a Cassadine brainwashing chip from my head, so stuff got lost along the way. Unfortunately, my being your husband completely dropped out of my brain.
SAM: Is it because I left the dragon and the phoenix at Noodle Buddha? Because I can go there and get the back.
JASON: I think I'm remembering something. (kisses Sam)
PARK
EMMA: Daddy's been acting really weird lately. He told me after Jake Doe and Elizabeth's wedding that something happened that I wouldn't understand.
SPENCER: Hayden told me that Jake Doe isn't really Jake Doe. It's Jason Morgan.
EMMA: Jason Morgan is Sam's husband! That means she can't marry Daddy and she can't be my new mommy.
SPENCER: But Father tells me Jason doesn't even remember being married to Sam. Something about freezing and unfreezing his brain and being run over by a car.
EMMA: But what if Sam makes him remember? Then she will go back to live with him and take Danny with her and I'll lose my little almost brother.
PAUL'S OFFICE
PAUL: Drop the Sonny investigation, Anna. That's an ORDER!
ANNA: Why are you so hell-bent on not finding out who shot Sonny?
PAUL: (to self) Because I shot him (to Anna) Because I'm trying to cover YOUR ass.
TRACY: Don't mind me, Anna. I'm just asking my ex-hubby on a lunch date. So, ex-hubby, what do you say? (Anna leaves)
PAUL: What do YOU want?
TRACY: First of all, to know what the hell THAT woman was doing in your office and second, to go out to lunch with you. Remember how we have a son together?
PAUL: Anna works for me.
TRACY: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
WYNDEMERE
LAURA: Does Jason know you've been hiding his identity for all these months?
LIZ: No and he's never going to find out if I have anything to do with it.
LAURA: Remember how I used to like you?
NIKOLAS: It's best that we leave well enough alone, Mother. Jason knows who he is now, so there's no need for him to know how long we knew.
HAYDEN: I'm inclined to agree. That is, until I find myself inclined to disagree.
LAURA: (As if she were Jerry Seinfeld greeting Newman) Hello, Hayden.
HAYDEN: So, the three of you in a little huddle about your BIG BAD SECRET? How adorable!
LIZ: Eat dirt, Hayden!
HAYDEN: I've been told to eat worse things.
LIZ: I bet you have.
HAYDEN: Nikolas and I have a little arrangement. I won't tell as long as he doesn't give me a reason to.
LAURA: Smells like blackmail to me.
SECRET LAB
GOON: You disobedient little scientist you! Hand me the phone!
ROBIN'S PHONE: RING RING RING RING RING!
ROBIN: Pick it up! It's my husband. PICK MY DAMN PHONE UP!
GOON: I have a better idea. (turns the phone off and puts it in his pocket)
ROBIN: So do I (knocks the goon upside the head with a beaker)
HOSPITAL
PATRICK: (over phone) Robin, what is it you wanted to tell me about Jason.
ROBIN: That I'm sorry I told you he was dead. Or something like that.
PATRICK: Not buying it. There's more. Spit it out.
ROBIN: I'm so sorry about what Jason has been through. I've gotta--
GOON #2: Tsk Tsk Tsk! Madam wishes to punish you now.
OUTSIDE WYNDEMERE
HAYDEN: Sorry I'm late. I was having too much fun munching on invisible popcorn and listening to a highly entertaining conversation. Living in this place is better than Netflix!
TRACY: I do not tolerate lateness. Did you do what I asked?
HAYDEN: Yes, I did. We're in business.
TRACY: Don't you forget that.
PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE
JASON: Sam, I'm really sorry none of this being your hubby stuff is coming back to me, but you're going to have to let it go. I am going to strongarm some answers out of some Cassadines.
SAM: Let me come with you. I AM a Cassadine. You may not remember, but I have badass ninja skills.
JASON: This is a job for me and me alone.
PARK
STRANGER LADY: I've lost my dog. Can you help me find him? He's so tiny he might as well be invisible.
EMMA: Okay, but I really shouldn't be talking to strangers.
Thursday, November 12, 2015
How To Be Jason Morgan
Little Jake is all "Duh!" when Jason introduces himself as his father. Meanwhile, Danny has taken to calling Patrick "Daddy". Jason reunites with Monica, who refuses to pressure him into remembering being her son. Liz tries to convince Patrick to keep Sam away from Jason. Jordan is surprised to see Anna working for Paul. Lulu calls a halt to her makeout session with Dillon. Dante wishes Valerie luck at the police academy.
LIZ'S HOUSE
JASON: Hey, I've got a new name now. I'm Jason Morgan and I'm your daddy.
JAKE: Well DUH!
JASON: That's one way of putting it. So, tell me what did Helena--I mean the Empress of Cassadine Island--say about me to you while you were living there?
LIZ: Well look at the time! Jake, we have to get you to school.
JAKE: She called you Soldier Boy and talked about how you could shoot guns really, really good.
PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE
ALEXIS: We need to discuss the legalities of your situation, honey. Like you needing to divorce Jason.
SAM: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????
ALEXIS: If you're going to marry Patrick, you need to divorce Jason first. Bigamy is illegal, sweetie.
SAM: How do I get Jason to remember being married to me?
ALEXIS: Aside from the Cassadine Method, a.k.a. mind control, I'm not so sure you can. What about Patrick? Where does he fit into all this?
SAM: I love Patrick. Danny loves Patrick. Danny thinks Patrick is his daddy. And then there's Emma. But I also love Jason and all of the Jason-ness that he once was and I hope he will be again.
JORDAN'S OFFICE
PAUL: Commish, meet my special investigator Anna Devane.
JORDAN: We've met.
PAUL: I hired her to keep a lid on organized crime in this city.
JORDAN: Shouldn't be too hard, with Julian de-mobbed and Sonny down for the count.
PAUL: Just giving you a heads-up. We're gonna clean this town up once and for all (to self) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
PCPD
VALERIE: Wish me luck at the police academy.
DANTE: Good luck, Valerie. You're gonna be a great cop.
VALERIE: While I'm off learning how to do cop things, maybe you can work things out with Lulu (to self) Or not.
DANTE: My mother-in-law says I just need to give her space.
LIZ'S HOUSE
MONICA: Jason! You're ALIVE! That's two sons I've had come back from the dead, but the other one had to go and die again.
JASON: Yeah, it's me, apparently. But I can't call you Mom yet because I don't know how to be Jason Morgan. Everyone sure is in a hurry to try to teach me, though.
MONICA: Don't worry. I won't be giving you any lectures from Jason 101.
JASON: Thanks, Jason's mom.
HOSPITAL
LIZ: Patrick, I need you to do me a favor and forbid Sam to see Jason.
PATRICK: Not. Gonna. Happen. It would ruin my image as the Good, Understanding Fiance. Besides, they have a kid together, you know.
LIZ: Oh yeah, Danny. But I have a kid with Jason too. If Jason sees Sam, he will instantly remember being married to her and they will get back together and I'll left at home crying in my glass of Merlot.
PATRICK: Insecure much? What if Sam still wants to marry--I don't know--ME?
JORDAN'S OFFICE
JORDAN: Anna, don't take this the wrong way, but what gives?
ANNA: Boredom got the best of me and started causing hallucinations. I need to keep busy.
JORDAN: I'm jazzed about having you back, but watch out for Paul. He's a slippery one.
ANNA: That's one way of putting it.
HAUNTED STAR
LULU: Why am I making out with you?
DILLON: Because you're super pissed at Dante and you want to be with a guy who tells the truth?
LULU: You WISH! I hate Dante right now but I still love him.
DILLON: Look, I'm pissed at myself for what I did to you and I hope we can still be friends.
LULU: Dream on. I'm outta here.
PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE
SAM: Danny, your other daddy's here.
DANNY: Hi other daddy. Having two daddies and one mommy is pretty cool.
JASON: Hi other son. Having two sons is pretty cool too. Now if only I could remember how to be your daddy.
HOSPITAL
MONICA: Elizabeth, thank you for reuniting me with my son.
LIZ: I know the feeling.
MONICA: He told me how everyone is trying to pressure him to be the Jason Morgan they remember. They're all lining up to read to him from the "How To Be Jason Morgan" book. You people need to back off and let Jason rediscover his Jason-ness on his own time.
PCPD
VALERIE: (over phone) I'm working with who? Detective Falconeri? No, I'm TOTALLY cool with that. (to self) YYYYYYEEEEEESSSSSSSS!
HOSPITAL
LULU: I won't be needing these hormone pills. The jig is up. There will be no Falconeri Baby #2.
HAUNTED STAR
DILLON: I'm returning your half million bucks, Dad. The movie's off. My muse has left me.
PAUL: Another muse will come along. Trust your newfound dad on this one.
LIZ'S HOUSE
JASON: Hey, I've got a new name now. I'm Jason Morgan and I'm your daddy.
JAKE: Well DUH!
JASON: That's one way of putting it. So, tell me what did Helena--I mean the Empress of Cassadine Island--say about me to you while you were living there?
LIZ: Well look at the time! Jake, we have to get you to school.
JAKE: She called you Soldier Boy and talked about how you could shoot guns really, really good.
PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE
ALEXIS: We need to discuss the legalities of your situation, honey. Like you needing to divorce Jason.
SAM: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????
ALEXIS: If you're going to marry Patrick, you need to divorce Jason first. Bigamy is illegal, sweetie.
SAM: How do I get Jason to remember being married to me?
ALEXIS: Aside from the Cassadine Method, a.k.a. mind control, I'm not so sure you can. What about Patrick? Where does he fit into all this?
SAM: I love Patrick. Danny loves Patrick. Danny thinks Patrick is his daddy. And then there's Emma. But I also love Jason and all of the Jason-ness that he once was and I hope he will be again.
JORDAN'S OFFICE
PAUL: Commish, meet my special investigator Anna Devane.
JORDAN: We've met.
PAUL: I hired her to keep a lid on organized crime in this city.
JORDAN: Shouldn't be too hard, with Julian de-mobbed and Sonny down for the count.
PAUL: Just giving you a heads-up. We're gonna clean this town up once and for all (to self) BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
PCPD
VALERIE: Wish me luck at the police academy.
DANTE: Good luck, Valerie. You're gonna be a great cop.
VALERIE: While I'm off learning how to do cop things, maybe you can work things out with Lulu (to self) Or not.
DANTE: My mother-in-law says I just need to give her space.
LIZ'S HOUSE
MONICA: Jason! You're ALIVE! That's two sons I've had come back from the dead, but the other one had to go and die again.
JASON: Yeah, it's me, apparently. But I can't call you Mom yet because I don't know how to be Jason Morgan. Everyone sure is in a hurry to try to teach me, though.
MONICA: Don't worry. I won't be giving you any lectures from Jason 101.
JASON: Thanks, Jason's mom.
HOSPITAL
LIZ: Patrick, I need you to do me a favor and forbid Sam to see Jason.
PATRICK: Not. Gonna. Happen. It would ruin my image as the Good, Understanding Fiance. Besides, they have a kid together, you know.
LIZ: Oh yeah, Danny. But I have a kid with Jason too. If Jason sees Sam, he will instantly remember being married to her and they will get back together and I'll left at home crying in my glass of Merlot.
PATRICK: Insecure much? What if Sam still wants to marry--I don't know--ME?
JORDAN'S OFFICE
JORDAN: Anna, don't take this the wrong way, but what gives?
ANNA: Boredom got the best of me and started causing hallucinations. I need to keep busy.
JORDAN: I'm jazzed about having you back, but watch out for Paul. He's a slippery one.
ANNA: That's one way of putting it.
HAUNTED STAR
LULU: Why am I making out with you?
DILLON: Because you're super pissed at Dante and you want to be with a guy who tells the truth?
LULU: You WISH! I hate Dante right now but I still love him.
DILLON: Look, I'm pissed at myself for what I did to you and I hope we can still be friends.
LULU: Dream on. I'm outta here.
PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE
SAM: Danny, your other daddy's here.
DANNY: Hi other daddy. Having two daddies and one mommy is pretty cool.
JASON: Hi other son. Having two sons is pretty cool too. Now if only I could remember how to be your daddy.
HOSPITAL
MONICA: Elizabeth, thank you for reuniting me with my son.
LIZ: I know the feeling.
MONICA: He told me how everyone is trying to pressure him to be the Jason Morgan they remember. They're all lining up to read to him from the "How To Be Jason Morgan" book. You people need to back off and let Jason rediscover his Jason-ness on his own time.
PCPD
VALERIE: (over phone) I'm working with who? Detective Falconeri? No, I'm TOTALLY cool with that. (to self) YYYYYYEEEEEESSSSSSSS!
HOSPITAL
LULU: I won't be needing these hormone pills. The jig is up. There will be no Falconeri Baby #2.
HAUNTED STAR
DILLON: I'm returning your half million bucks, Dad. The movie's off. My muse has left me.
PAUL: Another muse will come along. Trust your newfound dad on this one.
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
He's Not That Into You
Carly reunites Jason and Sonny, but Jason is not feeling it. Nina goes on a job interview. Julian does something that shocks Alexis. Franco wants his hospital job back. Maxie confronts Dillon on his public humiliation of Lulu. Laura gives Dante some advice on how to deal with a Spencer.
LIZ'S HOUSE
CARLY: Jason, I need you to show your face to Sonny so you can be Sason again.
JASON: What's a Sason? And why do I want to be one?
CARLY: You and Sonny were like peas and carrots, peanut butter and jelly, macaroni and cheese, need I go on?
JASON: Do I have to?
CARLY: Sonny needs you to be a stand-in for his daughter.
NINA/FRANCO/KIKI'S APARTMENT
FRANCO: Hey Nina, let's go torment Olivia by our mere presence at the MetroCourt.
NINA: No can do. I have a job interview.
FRANCO: Who needs a job when you're filthy rich?
NINA: My life needs a purpose.
FRANCO: So does mine, so I'm going on a job interview too.
NINA: Copycat.
HAUNTED STAR
MAXIE: That was a total sleazebag move humiliating my best friend and making this party an utter DISASTER!
DILLON: But...but...I saw Dante with Valerie and I got all the bad feels!
MAXIE: Been there, done that. Welcome to the Selfish Idiot Club.
DILLON: Hey, at least I have company. I was getting lonely all in the doghouse.
MAXIE: So, where are we going to shoot the movie now?
DILLON: There will be no movie.
MAXIE: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? You were supposed to make me into a hip, edgy, independent movie CELEBRITY!
WYNDEMERE
LULU: Dante and I are history
LAURA: I'm so sorry, honey. What happened?
LULU: The rat bastard slept with my COUSIN!
LAURA: I'm so sorry, honey. At least he kept it in the family.
LULU: I want a divorce.
LAURA: Don't rush into anything, sweetie.
ROCCO: Why does this scary castle place look so familiar?
SONNY'S HOUSE
CARLY: Sonny, I want you to meet someone.
SONNY: I'm still pissed at you for choosing your friend's wedding over my custody hearing.
CARLY: I know, but this person might make you feel better.
SONNY: What's that Jake dude doin' here? Shouldn't he be on his honeymoon with Elizabeth?
JASON: About that...I'm sorta still married to someone else. Whodathunkit?
SONNY: What the hell, Carly? What's up with this clown?
JASON: Apparently I'm Jason Morgan.
SONNY: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????
JULIAN'S OFFICE
ALEXIS: What's all that on your computer, Julian?
JULIAN: Uncle Sam's after me.
NINA: I'm here for a job interview.
ALEXIS: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
NINA: I have an amazing fashion sense and I want to work for Crimson.
JULIAN: That's all I need to know. You're hired.
ALEXIS: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
NINA/FRANCO/KIKI'S APARTMENT
LIESL OBRECHT: Vy did you call me here, Franco? Vat is ze matter?
FRANCO: I want to be an art therapist again. Can I have my old job back?
LIESL OBRECHT: Ah, Liebchen, as much as I vould love to vork viss you again, I need you to see ze new shrink for a psychological evaluation. It is new hospital policy.
FRANCO: What gives, Liesl? Are you upset that I haven't come over to watch the Hoff with you because we could totally still do that.
LIESL OBRECHT: It vas not my idea. If ze shrink sinks you are sane, I vill gladly give you your job back.
WYNDEMERE
DANTE: Hi Lulu. Remember when you didn't hate me?
LULU: Get away from me you cousin-boinker. I'm outta here.
DANTE: Lulu! We need to talk about how I will never cheat on you ever again.
LAURA: Let her go, Dante. Spencers need time to simmer down. I know. I was married to one too, you know.
DANTE: But how are we going to get past this if we don't talk about it?
LAURA: By pretending she doesn't exist for awhile. It's called giving her space.
NINA/FRANCO/KIKI'S APARTMENT
MAXIE: Here's Nina's check. The movie's off.
FRANCO: What do you mean it's off? Nina was looking forward to being Madame Producer.
NINA: I got the job! I'm the new editor-in-chief at Crimson!
MAXIE: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? Have you ever even READ Crimson?
NINA: I was kind of in a coma for 23 years so no.
MAXIE: I used to help Kate Howard run this place back when she was Kate Howard and before her personality got all split in two and then she died.
NINA: Okay, I'll be the editor and you can do all the work. Deal?
SONNY'S HOUSE
SONNY: Let me tell you a little story about Jason Morgan and how he was my right-hand man and the best hitman I have ever seen in my entire life.
JASON: Thanks, but no thanks.
SONNY: Whatsamatter? You don't want to be my friend?
JASON: I'm not sure I want to be this Jason Morgan everyone talks non-stop about in this town.
CARLY: Jason! Sonny NEEDS you!
HAUNTED STAR
LULU: You scumbag!
DILLON: So I wanted to expose your lying, cheating hubby, so sue me.
LULU: And HUMILIATE ME in the process! Let's make out.
DILLON: Dreams really do come true.
LIZ'S HOUSE
CARLY: Jason, I need you to show your face to Sonny so you can be Sason again.
JASON: What's a Sason? And why do I want to be one?
CARLY: You and Sonny were like peas and carrots, peanut butter and jelly, macaroni and cheese, need I go on?
JASON: Do I have to?
CARLY: Sonny needs you to be a stand-in for his daughter.
NINA/FRANCO/KIKI'S APARTMENT
FRANCO: Hey Nina, let's go torment Olivia by our mere presence at the MetroCourt.
NINA: No can do. I have a job interview.
FRANCO: Who needs a job when you're filthy rich?
NINA: My life needs a purpose.
FRANCO: So does mine, so I'm going on a job interview too.
NINA: Copycat.
HAUNTED STAR
MAXIE: That was a total sleazebag move humiliating my best friend and making this party an utter DISASTER!
DILLON: But...but...I saw Dante with Valerie and I got all the bad feels!
MAXIE: Been there, done that. Welcome to the Selfish Idiot Club.
DILLON: Hey, at least I have company. I was getting lonely all in the doghouse.
MAXIE: So, where are we going to shoot the movie now?
DILLON: There will be no movie.
MAXIE: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? You were supposed to make me into a hip, edgy, independent movie CELEBRITY!
WYNDEMERE
LULU: Dante and I are history
LAURA: I'm so sorry, honey. What happened?
LULU: The rat bastard slept with my COUSIN!
LAURA: I'm so sorry, honey. At least he kept it in the family.
LULU: I want a divorce.
LAURA: Don't rush into anything, sweetie.
ROCCO: Why does this scary castle place look so familiar?
SONNY'S HOUSE
CARLY: Sonny, I want you to meet someone.
SONNY: I'm still pissed at you for choosing your friend's wedding over my custody hearing.
CARLY: I know, but this person might make you feel better.
SONNY: What's that Jake dude doin' here? Shouldn't he be on his honeymoon with Elizabeth?
JASON: About that...I'm sorta still married to someone else. Whodathunkit?
SONNY: What the hell, Carly? What's up with this clown?
JASON: Apparently I'm Jason Morgan.
SONNY: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????
JULIAN'S OFFICE
ALEXIS: What's all that on your computer, Julian?
JULIAN: Uncle Sam's after me.
NINA: I'm here for a job interview.
ALEXIS: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
NINA: I have an amazing fashion sense and I want to work for Crimson.
JULIAN: That's all I need to know. You're hired.
ALEXIS: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
NINA/FRANCO/KIKI'S APARTMENT
LIESL OBRECHT: Vy did you call me here, Franco? Vat is ze matter?
FRANCO: I want to be an art therapist again. Can I have my old job back?
LIESL OBRECHT: Ah, Liebchen, as much as I vould love to vork viss you again, I need you to see ze new shrink for a psychological evaluation. It is new hospital policy.
FRANCO: What gives, Liesl? Are you upset that I haven't come over to watch the Hoff with you because we could totally still do that.
LIESL OBRECHT: It vas not my idea. If ze shrink sinks you are sane, I vill gladly give you your job back.
WYNDEMERE
DANTE: Hi Lulu. Remember when you didn't hate me?
LULU: Get away from me you cousin-boinker. I'm outta here.
DANTE: Lulu! We need to talk about how I will never cheat on you ever again.
LAURA: Let her go, Dante. Spencers need time to simmer down. I know. I was married to one too, you know.
DANTE: But how are we going to get past this if we don't talk about it?
LAURA: By pretending she doesn't exist for awhile. It's called giving her space.
NINA/FRANCO/KIKI'S APARTMENT
MAXIE: Here's Nina's check. The movie's off.
FRANCO: What do you mean it's off? Nina was looking forward to being Madame Producer.
NINA: I got the job! I'm the new editor-in-chief at Crimson!
MAXIE: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? Have you ever even READ Crimson?
NINA: I was kind of in a coma for 23 years so no.
MAXIE: I used to help Kate Howard run this place back when she was Kate Howard and before her personality got all split in two and then she died.
NINA: Okay, I'll be the editor and you can do all the work. Deal?
SONNY'S HOUSE
SONNY: Let me tell you a little story about Jason Morgan and how he was my right-hand man and the best hitman I have ever seen in my entire life.
JASON: Thanks, but no thanks.
SONNY: Whatsamatter? You don't want to be my friend?
JASON: I'm not sure I want to be this Jason Morgan everyone talks non-stop about in this town.
CARLY: Jason! Sonny NEEDS you!
HAUNTED STAR
LULU: You scumbag!
DILLON: So I wanted to expose your lying, cheating hubby, so sue me.
LULU: And HUMILIATE ME in the process! Let's make out.
DILLON: Dreams really do come true.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
What Now?
Sam feels lost in the aftermath of the Jason reveal, as do Patrick and Jason himself. Liz nearly blows her cover trying to convince Jason to go through with the marriage. Ava's taunting causes Sonny to do something that costs him custody of Avery. Sonny is disappointed in Carly for choosing to go to the church with Jason before showing up a the courthouse. Nikolas finds out that Hayden has been faking her amnesia.
CHURCH
SAM: What am I going to do? Jason is alive, but he doesn't remember being my husband. On the other hand, Danny thinks you're his daddy now and Emma's all into me being her new mommy. I'M SO CONFUSED!!!!
PATRICK: This Jason thing would be blowing my mind right now if I didn't just go through the same thing two years ago with Robin.
SAM: And you chose Robin.
PATRICK: Yeah, and look how that turned out. We got divorced.
SAM: So are you saying that once Jason remembers he's married to me, he'll want to divorce me? Thanks A LOT, fiance.
BRIDGE
LIZ: We can still get married, Jason. It's not like you can remember being married to Sam or anything.
JASON: But stuff's all complicated now that I'm Jason. I'm not so sure I WANT to be Jason. The dude killed people for a living.
LIZ: But he only killed the bad guys!
JASON: Look, I'm still into you and all, but I gotta wrap my mind around this Being Jason Morgan thing. People in this town think he's Jesus or something and I'm not looking forward to the idea of being nailed to a couple of pieces of wood.
LIZ: I always knew you were Jason.
JASON: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??????
LIZ: I mean, on some subconscious level deep down in my inner psyche.
JASON: Oh, that makes sense. For a minute there I thought you were going to tell me you were hiding my true identity from me or something heinous like that.
COURTHOUSE
AVA: Poor, crippled Sonny. Too bad your personal cheering section is going to grow to resent taking care of your weak ass. Especially Carly. Give it time and she'll ditch you for someone who can---
SONNY: I don't have to be standing up to riddle you with bullets, AVA!
AVA: Did you just threaten to make Avery a motherless child?
SONNY: Try me.
CARLY: Bad Sonny!
SONNY: Bad Sonny? What about Bad Carly? Why do you wait until NOW to show up at the custody hearing to GET OUR DAUGHTER BACK???
CARLY: Maybe these cuts and bandages will give you a clue. Some lunatic driver ran me off Rte 31!
SONNY: What were you doin' on Rte 31??? They don't call it Death Wish Drive for nothin'.
WYNDEMERE
NIKOLAS: Sounds like you were enjoying the show, what with your invisible popcorn and all.
HAYDEN: Who makes that stuff? Best. Popcorn. EVAH!
NIKOLAS: Some supposedly-reformed serial killer named Franco.
HAYDEN: I was just enjoying watching it all play out. I could see this coming from a mile away.
NIKOLAS: So you were faking your amnesia? Go figure.
HAYDEN: You're surprised? I faked being someone's WIFE, for crying out loud.
COURTHOUSE
SCOTT: I have in my possession some new evidence that could blow this custody hearing wide open. Check out this recording that was made just minutes ago in this very courtroom.
RIC: Objection!
JUDGE: Overruled. I'll allow this evidence. Let's hear this so-called recording.
SCOTT: (plays recording) Now is THAT the kind of man you want to see caring for a little girl? JUDGE: This court finds in favor of Ava Jerome.
RIC: No fair!
AVA: I may let you come to Avery's high school graduation in a few years. You know how fast kids grow in this town.
CARLY: I have good news. Jake is Ja--
SONNY: Screw you, Carly! I don't wanna hear it. Take me home, Morgan.
CARLY: As I was saying, Michael, Jake is Jason. I have a DNA test to prove it.
MICHAEL: Maybe you need to stop by the hospital and get checked out for a concussion.
CARLY: No, I'm SERIOUS! Just ask Jason himself.
PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE
SAM: What am I going to tell Emma about the non-wedding?
PATRICK: We live in Port Chuckles. Pretty much every wedding is a non-wedding these days.
LIZ'S HOUSE
LIZ: Some wedding day. I'm going to bed.
JASON: I need to do some more thinking about this Jason thing.
SAM: (riding up in a motorcycle) Look what I found, Jason? Maybe this thing of beauty will help you remember being married to me.
LIZ: (looking out window) DAMMIT! Not the motorcycle! He'll remember EVERYTHING the nanosecond he sees that thing.
WYNDEMERE
NIKOLAS: Let's have sex.
HAYDEN: Maybe tomorrow.
NIKOLAS: You may not have lost your memory, but that bullet sure put a hole in your libido. HAYDEN: (on phone with someone I hope is Helena but is probably someone else) We need to meet ASAP. In person.
CHURCH
SAM: What am I going to do? Jason is alive, but he doesn't remember being my husband. On the other hand, Danny thinks you're his daddy now and Emma's all into me being her new mommy. I'M SO CONFUSED!!!!
PATRICK: This Jason thing would be blowing my mind right now if I didn't just go through the same thing two years ago with Robin.
SAM: And you chose Robin.
PATRICK: Yeah, and look how that turned out. We got divorced.
SAM: So are you saying that once Jason remembers he's married to me, he'll want to divorce me? Thanks A LOT, fiance.
BRIDGE
LIZ: We can still get married, Jason. It's not like you can remember being married to Sam or anything.
JASON: But stuff's all complicated now that I'm Jason. I'm not so sure I WANT to be Jason. The dude killed people for a living.
LIZ: But he only killed the bad guys!
JASON: Look, I'm still into you and all, but I gotta wrap my mind around this Being Jason Morgan thing. People in this town think he's Jesus or something and I'm not looking forward to the idea of being nailed to a couple of pieces of wood.
LIZ: I always knew you were Jason.
JASON: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??????
LIZ: I mean, on some subconscious level deep down in my inner psyche.
JASON: Oh, that makes sense. For a minute there I thought you were going to tell me you were hiding my true identity from me or something heinous like that.
COURTHOUSE
AVA: Poor, crippled Sonny. Too bad your personal cheering section is going to grow to resent taking care of your weak ass. Especially Carly. Give it time and she'll ditch you for someone who can---
SONNY: I don't have to be standing up to riddle you with bullets, AVA!
AVA: Did you just threaten to make Avery a motherless child?
SONNY: Try me.
CARLY: Bad Sonny!
SONNY: Bad Sonny? What about Bad Carly? Why do you wait until NOW to show up at the custody hearing to GET OUR DAUGHTER BACK???
CARLY: Maybe these cuts and bandages will give you a clue. Some lunatic driver ran me off Rte 31!
SONNY: What were you doin' on Rte 31??? They don't call it Death Wish Drive for nothin'.
WYNDEMERE
NIKOLAS: Sounds like you were enjoying the show, what with your invisible popcorn and all.
HAYDEN: Who makes that stuff? Best. Popcorn. EVAH!
NIKOLAS: Some supposedly-reformed serial killer named Franco.
HAYDEN: I was just enjoying watching it all play out. I could see this coming from a mile away.
NIKOLAS: So you were faking your amnesia? Go figure.
HAYDEN: You're surprised? I faked being someone's WIFE, for crying out loud.
COURTHOUSE
SCOTT: I have in my possession some new evidence that could blow this custody hearing wide open. Check out this recording that was made just minutes ago in this very courtroom.
RIC: Objection!
JUDGE: Overruled. I'll allow this evidence. Let's hear this so-called recording.
SCOTT: (plays recording) Now is THAT the kind of man you want to see caring for a little girl? JUDGE: This court finds in favor of Ava Jerome.
RIC: No fair!
AVA: I may let you come to Avery's high school graduation in a few years. You know how fast kids grow in this town.
CARLY: I have good news. Jake is Ja--
SONNY: Screw you, Carly! I don't wanna hear it. Take me home, Morgan.
CARLY: As I was saying, Michael, Jake is Jason. I have a DNA test to prove it.
MICHAEL: Maybe you need to stop by the hospital and get checked out for a concussion.
CARLY: No, I'm SERIOUS! Just ask Jason himself.
PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE
SAM: What am I going to tell Emma about the non-wedding?
PATRICK: We live in Port Chuckles. Pretty much every wedding is a non-wedding these days.
LIZ'S HOUSE
LIZ: Some wedding day. I'm going to bed.
JASON: I need to do some more thinking about this Jason thing.
SAM: (riding up in a motorcycle) Look what I found, Jason? Maybe this thing of beauty will help you remember being married to me.
LIZ: (looking out window) DAMMIT! Not the motorcycle! He'll remember EVERYTHING the nanosecond he sees that thing.
WYNDEMERE
NIKOLAS: Let's have sex.
HAYDEN: Maybe tomorrow.
NIKOLAS: You may not have lost your memory, but that bullet sure put a hole in your libido. HAYDEN: (on phone with someone I hope is Helena but is probably someone else) We need to meet ASAP. In person.
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