Still October 30th in Port Chuck

Nina: So, Mommy, where's Ava? I just KNEW that BASTARD daughter Freaky Kiki was hiding her. Freaky Kiki, where have I heard that before? So, if you know where she is, Mommy, why is she not bound and gagged and in this room? Auntie Leisl! Welcome to my League of Loonies! Nice room, by the way. Best plotting and scheming room in the entire hospital! How sweet, Mommy, you're waiting until she goes into labor to steal her baby. Guess what, MOMMY? That ain't gonna cut it! If she knows we know where she is, she's gonna skip town and NO BABY FOR NINA!! I'll tell you what you're gonna do. You're gonna put HER in a coma and cut that baby out of her YOURSELF!!!

Madeline: I got the lowdown on Ava from Rosalie. Her daughter Kiki--what a godawful name--is stashing her at some random brownstone at the waterfront. Now that we know where she is, we can wait until she goes into labor and put our plan into motion then. Hello, Leisl. Thank you for letting me and my unhinged daughter camp out in here while we plot and scheme about how to steal Ava Jerome's baby. You know something about stealing babies, don't you, Leisl? Just when I thought you couldn't get any nuttier, Nina, you suggest that I put Ava in a coma to steal her baby?

Dr. O: Hello nurse Webber. Where is that vagrant Jake Doe? I hope he's not bozzering that artistic genius Franco. Franco is such a visionary. As for you, I hear you used to finger paint. Magda, Nina, turn down ze volume on your plotting and scheming. I have some work to do, like keeping indigent patients away from ze genius zat is Franco and giving the zeitgeist strudel gesundheit to incompetent nurses who prescribe the wrong medication to pregnant women. Nurse Webber, what the aufweidersehn are you doing wis zat Jake Doe?

Jake: So this is Franco. No wonder you're getting cold feet, Carly. Okay, okay, I'm out of here. It smells like serial killer in here anyway. Hey, Dr. O. I'm back from that room where the whackjob artist works. Elizabeth, can you help me climb those stairs. The sooner I can climb stairs and get out of the Nina chair, the sooner I can get away from Dr. Third Reich. Gonna miss you, though. I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!! Now if I could only remember who my subjects are...

Liz: Don't worry, Dr. O, I was just taking Jake on a little tour of the hospital. He was getting bored in that room talking about Jason 24/7. Hi Jake. So you met Carly and liked her? Oookaaay. I don't think you're ready for those stairs yet. Your insides were just renovated and you can barely walk. Okay, alright, but no funny business. You did it, Jake! Maybe you don't need the Nina chair either?

Tracy: What fresh hell? Luke is in a body bag! Is he alive, Ned? Ugh, it's Larry Ashton! Ever heard of a shower, dude? Now WHERE THE HELL IS LUKE???

Lulu: Is that Daddy in the body bag? OMG!!! Um, who the hell is he? How many husbands have you had, Tracy? WHERE IS MY DADDY????

Ned: He's alive, but he's not your dad, Lulu. He's mine! Kinda would have preferred Luke, believe it or not. How does it feel to be double-crossed, Mom? You gave away ELQ, but Luke's still nowhere to be found.

Olivia: Hey, Alexis. Ned wasn't in Mixed Martial Arts at the gym today. Any chance he was canoodling with you?

Alexis: Ned takes Martial Arts? Who is he trying to beat up? If Julian lies to me again, Ned could come in handy.

Michael: Hey, Dad Sonny, why are you hanging with Dad AJ in the crypt. Oh, you're here to see Jason. I miss him too. I wanna know who killed Dad AJ. Was it Ava? No, I'm not going to kill anyone, Dad, but I'm going to be best man at Mom's wedding to Franco tomorrow. I miss you Dad AJ. When I find out who killed you, all bets are off.

Sonny: Hey Michael. I'm not here to guilt-mourn AJ. I'm here to stare at the plaque of a guy who's not as dead as we all think, but underwent a personality transplant on the operating table. Now don't be killing anyone, son, and I won't judge you for standing up for Franco tomorrow.

Kiki: Hello, Roooosalie! Whaddaya want? I should have known I wouldn't be able to trust you. So you DIDN'T TELL NINA??? Ok, but I still don't like you.

Ava: Don't mess with Ava Jerome, Rosalie. You will live to regret it. That is, if you live.

Rosalie: Just wanted to let you know, Ava, that you must BEWARE THE NINA. No, I didn't tell NINA where you are. I'm outta here. You two creep me out.

Shawn: Hey Heather, I've got a treat for you! Now tell me what Franco's up to.

Heather: Hello handsome black man! When will I be reunited with my favorite son? Just to keep you up to speed, this week it's Franco. Mmm, BLT!!! Shall I tell you what Franco's up to? Nah, he might not approve. Best to stay on that one's good side.

Franco: Hey, Bride to Be! Who's this loser? Hey, messed-up dude! Get lost. My FIANCEE and I need to have a little chat. Ok, that punk is gone. I have some surprises up my sleeve tomorrow! It's going to be a wedding you will never forget. Oh, the change of venue. The haunted star is where you said you hated me and wanted to kill me, so I was like, "What better place for a wedding!"

Carly: Hey, I liked that Jake guy. He had a trustworthy face. Yeah, I know about the change of venue surprise. What about our guests? Oh yeah, not many of those because few people in the Chuckles can stand you. No videos, do you hear me? No videos!