Back To Business As Usual

     The two live shows were fun, but it's back to the land of the pre-taped today.   Nina's wedded bliss is cut short by Ric being called to duty.  Lawyers gotta lawyer.   Valerie overhears Nik talking to his goon about eliminating Hayden.  Liz is very nervous about Hayden spilling the truth to Jake before she goes in for surgery.   Ned and Olivia tell Julian that Gin Baby has died.  Julian is skeptical and asks to see the body.  Dr. O says that the baby was cremated.  Once Julian is out of earshot, we learn that Gin Baby lives and he was transported to, presumably, another hospital in exchange for Ned donating some Quartermaine $$$ to the hospital.   Carly and Sonny argue about Jake.  Jordan comes clean to TJ about being undercover.  

      NINA'S SUITE

       NINA:  Scram, Franco!   Ric and I have to consummate our marriage. 
       FRANCO:  That's hilarious. 
       NINA:  I mean it, Franco!  Get lost!   YOU thought I was a crazy kidnapper.  Ric didn't.  He wins.  You LOSE!   Deal with it. 
       RIC:  Sorry, new wife o' mine, but duty calls.  I have to go do my lawyering thing for my brother's goon.  
       NINA:  No problem, HUBBY!   See, Ric and I UNDERSTAND each other.  

      HOSPITAL

      JULIAN:  Where's my kid?  
      EPIPHANY:  What you looking at ME for?   I don't keep track of your adult children, Mr. Jerome.  If Sam or Lucas wanted you to know where they were, they'd have told you.
      JULIAN:  I'm talking about my premature baby son.   Look, I know he's microscopic and invisible to the human eye, but someone took him from this NICU and I wanna know where he is!
      EPIPHANY:  Ask his parents.  Mr. Ashton and Ms. Falconeri are right over there.  

      WYNDEMERE:

      NIKOLAS:  Are you sure Hayden's good and dead?
      GOON:  I put a bullet in her brain, Mr. Cassadine.   Any more questions?  
      NIKOLAS:  As long as she has been silenced, we're in the clear.  She knows some very damaging information.  
       GOON:  It's been taken care of.   Can I get back to crushing candy now?  
       VALERIE:  What's this about Hayden?  

      SONNY'S HOUSE

     CARLY:  You don't understand, Sonny!  Jake did not kill Duke.   He's only working for the Jeromes because it's the only way out of all of those murder charges--
    SONNY:  Gotta take this call, Carly.   (Picks up his phone)  Ric, what's up?  
    RIC:  (over the phone) Shawn's got himself into some trouble.  He shot Hayden Barnes when he was supposed to shoot Jake.  
   SONNY:  Say WHAAAAAAAT?  

     HOSPITAL

     PATRICK:  Hey Jake, your fake wife wants to talk to you.  
     LIZ:  Don't go, Jake.  Let Hayden rest before her brain surgery.
     SAM:  Don't listen to Elizabeth, Jake.   Hear what Hayden has to say about who you really are.
     JAKE:  I think I'll listen to Sam this time.  Sorry, Uhlizabeth.
     SAM:  Whatsa matter, Elizabeth?   Afraid you're gonna lose your Jakey-poo?   He might have a REAL wife out there.  Maybe even a kid.  
     LIZ:  Mind your own business, SAM! 

     PCPD

     JORDAN:  Blame me for arresting me all you want, Shawn, but YOU chose to work for Sonny.  
     SHAWN:  You are SO DEAD TO ME, Jordan.   Once TJ finds out you lied to him, you'll be dead to him too.  
     JORDAN:  Save it, Shawn. TJ will be GLAD I'm on the right side of the law instead of being a drug-dealing mobster.  
    
     HOSPITAL

     NED:  Sorry, Julian, but the baby got an infection and died.
     JULIAN:  Yeah, and I'm the king of France.   I bet you had that kid spirited away somewhere to keep him away from me.
     OLIVIA:  (sobbing)  It's...true...Julian.   He's...dead...and I...didn't have...the chance...to give him...a...name...yet.
     JULIAN:  I want to see him.  
     NED:   Would we lie to you....Never mind.  Go ahead.  Hey, Dr. Obrecht!  
     LIESL:  Yes, Mr. Ashton?  How may I be of service to you?
     NED:  Julian, here, wants to see his dear, departed son.
     LIESL:  I am afraid zat is impossible.  Ze baby has been cremated.  
     NED:  (fingers crossed behind back)  Say WHAAAAAAT?   
     LIESL:  Zere vas a mistake and I am very sorry.  
     JULIAN:  Look, I just want to see my kid, in whatever form he might be in right now.   Point me to his urn, please, doctor. 
     LIESL:  Ze ashes are in ze morgue.   I am so very sorry, Mr. Jerome. 

      NINA'S SUITE

    FRANCO:  Now that Rickerydickerydock is gone, I can make this mistake of a marriage disappear. 
    NINA:  Well, who's out of touch with reality now?   The marriage was NOT a mistake, FRANCO and you need to leave before I call CARLY and have HER kick your ass out of here.  
    FRANCO:  Maybe your Auntie Liesl was right about you, crazypants!  
    NINA:  Get OUT and take your HIDEOUS PAINTING with you. 
    FRANCO:  It's not MY hideous painting.  IT'S MY MOTHER'S!   I SAVED YOUR WACKADOO ASS FROM HER!  
    NINA:  See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!  Don't let the door hit you on the way out! 

    HOSPITAL

    JAKE:  I feel bad.  Hayden had a seizure when she was trying to tell me who I really am. 
    LIZ:  (to herself)  Whew!   Dodged one there! 
    SAM:  Don't worry, Jake.  Patrick is the BESTEST BRAIN SURGEON IN THE WORLD!   
    JAKE:  Hayden got shot because of me.  
    SAM:  Hayden was in the wrong place at the wrong time. 
    LIZ:  I'll say she was! 

    WYNDEMERE

    VALERIE:  Sorry for interrupting.  I was looking for my copy of "A Field Guide To The Spoon Island Catacombs," just in case I should, I don't know, accidently find myself in an underground labyrinth here.   
    NIKOLAS:   No worries.  I was the one to say make yourself at home. 
    VALERIE:  What was that I overheard about making Hayden disappear?  
    NIKOLAS:  She was a most disruptive houseguest.   I wanted to make sure my security guy kept her out of your hair.  
     LIZ:  Nikolas, I need to either talk to you or bitch-slap you.   Vanessa, do you mind?
     VALERIE:  It's Valerie, and I'll get out of your way.  
     LIZ:  So, I was at the hospital and who shows up with a gunshot to the head but our mutual enemy Hayden Barnes?  
     NIKOLAS:  Get out of town!  Hayden got SHOT?   Is she going to make it?  
     LIZ: Patrick is performing brain surgery on her as we speak.  
     NIKOLAS:  Remember what happened when Patrick operated on Jake?   His memory was zapped.   Stranger things have happened.   Maybe Hayden wakes up thinking she's my grandmother and I can have HER exiled to Greece too.  

    JORDAN'S APARTMENT

    JORDAN:  I'm sorry I had to lie to you about being a cop, TJ, but it was for your own good.  
    TJ:  By the way,  MOM, thanks for ARRESTING MY FATHER FIGURE! 
    JORDAN:  He was collateral damage, TJ.  I was trying to bring down Julian and Sonny.  
    TJ:  I'm pissed, Mom!   I'm REALLY, REALLY SUPER PISSED at you, Mom.   You LIED to me my WHOLE LIFE!  
    JORDAN:  So you'd rather I be a mobster and a drug dealer?   I thought you would be relieved that I'm on the RIGHT SIDE of the law. 
    TJ:  Not if you had to throw Shawn under the bus to get there.  

    HOSPITAL

    NED:  Thanks, Dr. Obrecht.  I think we convinced Julian 
    LIESL:  You will be happy to know that ze baby has been transported and he is getting excellent care.   Sank you for your donation to zis hospital, Mr. Ashton.  
    OLIVIA:  Poor Julian.  He thinks his son is reduce to ashes in an urn. 
    NED:  It's for the best, Liv.  The kid won't get caught in Julian and Sonny's crossfire now.  He is safe.