Two By Two

    This blog will be a rather short one because today's show was a snoozefest.   Jake and Liz talk about Jake quitting his job as Sloane's rat.  Sam and Patrick talk about Sam staying away from Jake.  Julian and Alexis talk about Julian quitting the mob.   Anna and Sloane talk about Duke's death and Anna killing Carrrrrrrrrlos.  Sabrina and Michael talk about Puerto Rican food and Carrrrrrrrrrlos.   Morgan and Kiki have sex, then talk about their relationship.  This was most definitely a filler day. 

     LIZ'S HOUSE

     JAKE:  Uhlizabeth, I can't be with you because I'm quitting my job as Sloane's rat.   Therefore I am going to prison. 
      LIZ:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAT?  
      JAKE:  Sloane made a deal with me:   Get the goods on Julian Jerome or go to prison for all the stuff I did when Helena's chip was in my head.  
       LIZ:  Well THAT totally sucks.  
       JAKE:  Tell me about it.  My job put Hayden in a coma.  
       LIZ:  If you have to go to prison to not be a mobster, then let's just have a ton of sex tonight.   Are you ready for some Petit Mort? 
 
       SAM AND PATRICK'S HOUSE

       PATRICK:  I don't like you standing next to that bullseye named Jake. 
       SAM:  Who ELSE was I supposed to shoot the breeze with while you were in surgery for, like, 15 hours?  
        PATRICK:  Jake is dangerous and I don't want you to die because some crappy goon can't shoot straight. 
        SAM:  Yeah, that would totally suck.  

         JULIAN'S PENTHOUSE

       JULIAN:  Please, please PLEASE stay with me tonight so I don't stick my head in the oven and turn it up to 350.   Hell, I'll quit the mob if you spend the night with me. 
       ALEXIS:  You've said that before. 
       JULIAN:  Okay, so giving my notice might take longer than two weeks, but I promise.  This time it's for real. 
        ALEXIS:  I really wish I could believe you.  
        JULIAN:  Look, you wanted me to choose between you and the mob.  I choose you.   Stay with me Alexis.   Misery loves company.  

           SILAS'S APARTMENT

          MORGAN:  Kiki, let's get back together. 
          KIKI:  But we're so good at being friends. 
          MORGAN:  So, we'll be friends with benefits.  No pressure.  
          KIKI:  Okay, I'll get back together with you.   Let's have more sex.  

           SABRINA'S APARTMENT

            MICHAEL:  Man, that Puerto Rican food is spicy.  
            SABRINA:  Carrrrrrrrrlos always liked spicy food.   I wonder if he's in his jail cell yet.  Should I call Anna? 
            MICHAEL:  It's been a long day.  Wait until tomorrow. 
            SABRINA:  Michael, thank you for somewhat sort of distracting me from Carrrrrrrrrlos.  
            MICHAEL:  Anytime.   

             ANNA'S ROOM

             ANNA:  I miss Duke.  I'm a murderer.   Lock me up and throw away the key. 
             SLOANE:  I don't wanna send you to prison because I'll miss you.   Remember how I kind of sort of have a crush on you?  
             ANNA:  But Jake doesn't deserve to have Sonny gunning for him.  
             SLOANE:  Jake is plenty capable of handling himself.   Just ask Helena Cassadine.  Get some sleep.  You've had a long day.  
             ANNA:  I'll say.   Vigilante justice is not all that it's cracked up to be.  
             SLOANE:  Sweet dreams, Anna.