Car Trouble?

    Johnny puts his attack plan against Valerie into motion.   Jason drops by Liz's house...to pick up his stuff.   Lulu is irritated by Dante's presence on the Haunted Star, while Monica is similiarly irritated with Tracy's sucking up to Paul.   Nikolas walks in on Hayden and Curtis plotting and scheming.  Jordan is suspicious of Curtis's motives for being in Port Chuckles and Curtis points out that TJ is his nephew.  Are Curtis and Jordan brother and sister?  

    METROCOURT LOBBY

           TRACY:  You need a keynote speaker for the so-called "Nutcracker Gala"?   Look no further than the man gracing us with his presence.  What do you say, Mr. District Attorney? 
           MONICA:   Mr. ACTING District Attorney, Tracy.   I don't recall him ever--I don't know--WINNING AN ELECTION. 
           TRACY:  PFFFFFFFFFT!   He'll do it because I SAID he'll do it.  Right, Paul?
           PAUL:  Let me just check my schedule...

   
     HAUNTED STAR

           JOHNNY:  Hey Lulu, you didn't tell me this Valerie chick was hot.  
           LULU:  And you were telling ME to focus?   Forget her looks.  She's the SLUTTY MCSLUTFACE  who stole my husband. 
           JOHNNY:  Fine.  I'll wear a blindfold when I go after her.  What does her voice sound like?
           LULU:  Just picture an annoying cousin who lusts after your significant other and you'll get the idea.

     
     LIZ'S HOUSE

         LIZ:  Jason, you're back!  I KNEW you'd come running back into my arms!
         JASON:  Don't flatter yourself.  I'm here to get my stuff.
         LIZ:  But...but...you LOVE me!
         JASON:  LOVED.   Past tense because, you know, 7 months of lies.   See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.

     
      FLOATING RIB

          CURTIS:  Be prepared to fork over some serious dough for this job, Ms. Barnes.  This piece o' ass don't come cheap.  
          HAYDEN:  How serious?
          NIKOLAS:  Am I interrupting something?
          HAYDEN:  Only my surprise renovation of the ELQ offices.   How do fuchsia and lime green sound for the walls of the CEO's suite?  
          NIKOLAS:  Like a toxic Slurpee of plebeian kitsch.   Who's your friend?
          HAYDEN:  Only the world's sexiest interior designer.  
          CURTIS:  The name is Curtis Good and I'm Good in more ways than one.  
         

       PCPD

         DANTE:  I think me and Lulu are over.  
         JORDAN:  When it's over, it's over.  Turn the page.  Move on.  Start fresh.  Tabula rasa.  You get my point. 
         DANTE:  So it's okay if I...move on in my personal life?  
         JORDAN:  It's your life.   C'est la vie. 
         VALERIE:  Hi Dante. 
          DANTE:  C'est la vie!  

      
      HAUNTED STAR

         JOHNNY:  Gotta go stalk your cuz.   Catch ya later, Lulu. 
         LULU:  Hello?  Did you look in the mirror this morning and see a wanted fugitive?  
         JOHNNY:  I'll wear a disguise.  It'll be fun.   Have any wigs or crazy glasses I can borrow?  
         LULU:  What are you going to do to her?  
         JOHNNY:  Wouldn't you like to know...so you could be charged as an accessory?  

     
       FLOATING RIB

         NIKOLAS:  So, what was that charade with your shady-looking companion all about?  Don't tell me it was about bright purple carpeting because I don't trust you as far as I can throw you.  
         HAYDEN:  So much for the SURPRISE!  
         NIKOLAS:  You aren't SERIOUSLY firing half the company, then redecorating the ELQ offices to look like Franco's LSD trip, so tell me what the hell is up? 
         HAYDEN:  What's up with YOU?   Princes don't randomly appear at rib joints without some sort of reason, so spill it. 
         NIKOLAS:  Jason knows that Elizabeth and I lied to him and he's out for blood.  Yours, mine, it is going to get ugly. 
         JASON:  Hey Princey, the jig is up.  (Punches Nikolas and a brawl ensues) 

       
       LIZ'S HOUSE

         DIANE:  Will you give your fiance these most important papers he requested?  
         LIZ:  Maybe.  What are they?  
         DIANE:  Ever heard of attorney-client privilege? 
         LIZ:  Privilege-Schmivilege!  I'm just gonna look at them once you get the hell out of my house. 
         DIANE:  I should have known not to trust YOU.   Just tell him I dropped by. 
         LIZ:  Tell him yourself.  He ain't comin' back to me.   He dumped me, so you, Carly, Sam, and Sonny won.   Merry merry merry F&$#%ing Christmas!   Now go to hell!  
         DIANE:  My my!  Such language from a mother raising three impressionable young boys. 
  
      
         HAUNTED STAR

        DANTE:  Just wanted to let you know that I let Valerie watch Rocco for five seconds while I teleported myself to the store to get some meds for his hypothetical fever. 
        LULU:  Save it.  Your mother beat you to it. 
        DANTE:  Go figure.   Well, I'll make sure I get a signed affidavit from you before I let Val get within 3 feet of Rocco. 
        LULU:  Whatever.  Just get lost. 
        DANTE:  Bah Humbug!  

      
        PCPD

        JORDAN:  Curtis, what are you doing at my station?   You know I'm top cop here and I don't play favorites.
        CURTIS:  Congrats on that, by the way.   How's my nephew? 
        JORDAN:  What's it to you? 
        CURTIS:  Maybe you missed the "nephew" part.   Hey, I'm just doin' my thang here.   Strictly business. 
        JORDAN:  Just keep your distance from Port Chuckles, Curtis.  I know your kind of trouble. 

    
       SOMEWHERE POSSIBLY ALONG RTE 31. 
   
       VALERIE:  STUPID FRIGGIN' CAR! 
        JOHNNY:   Car trouble?   Johnny B Quick is at your service? 
       VALERIE:  Aren't you the window replacement, air conditioning and heating guy?