Pill Counting

    Carly and Sonny are worried about Morgan, but Morgan feels suffocated by them, especially Carly.  Ava begs Kiki to spend Christmas with her and Avery.  Tracy is in the dark about Paul's shady doings.  Dr. Lee warns Sabrina that lying to Michael is hazardous to her health.  Paul pays Carrrrrrrrrrlos to leave Port Chuckles.  Anna and Mac's investigation of Paul is interrupted by an urgent call from Patrick, who is in Paris with Emma searching for Robin.  Jerry runs out of patience with Robin and her research.

       SONNY'S HOUSE

                CARLY:  Morgan, where have you been?  Who were you with?   I need names, ages, possible organized crime affiliations and social security numbers.
                MORGAN: And I'M the one who's supposedly unhinged?   
                SONNY:  What your mother means, Morgan, is that we were worried about you.
                CARLY:   (in the voice of Estelle Costanza from Seinfeld) Have you been taking your medication, Morgan?
                 MORGAN:  Yes, MOMMY!  And I took my Flintstones vitamins too.
                 CARLY:  (dumps pills out on the table and starts counting them) 1, 2, 3
                 MORGAN:  6, 9, 12, 57, 120, YOU'RE GONNA SEND ME RIGHT BACK TO THE PSYCH WARD BECAUSE YOU'RE DRIVING ME BONKERS!

      
          METROCOURT

              AVA:  Please come home for Christmas, Kiki, or bells will be ringing sad, sad news and your baby sister Avery will have the blues.  Come on, Kiki.  I'll have a blue, blue Christmas without you.
              KIKI:  First of all, Avery is a year old and knows about 5 words.  She DOESN'T EVEN KNOW I EXIST so how can she miss me?  Second, you kinda sound pathetic.
              AVA:  But...but...remember when you were little and projectile-vomited gumdrops?
              KIKI:  That visual is not helping, mom.  Do me a favor and stop using my baby sister to manipulate me.
              AVA:  Will you at least CONSIDER coming home for Christmas, if only in my dreams?   I can even conjure up some snow and mistletoe and presents by the tree.   I say conjure up snow because, you know, global warming.
              KIKI:  Maybe.
          

           PARIS

           PATRICK:  Let's go see the Eiffel Tower and take a stroll down the Champs Elysses.
           EMMA:  Where's Mommy?   I wanna see Mommy!
           PATRICK:  Turns out she doesn't live in an antique shop after all, but we can still grab some croissants.
           EMMA:  Call Grandma Anna and tell her go find Mommy.

      
           CASSADINE ISLAND

            JERRY:  Robin, have you found a cure for death YET?   How long can a simple task like achieving human immortality take?
            ROBIN:  Well, we can upload people's minds and souls to a computer.
            JERRY:  Somehow the idea of a Robo Jerry does not appeal to me.  Besides, it would take decades to upload all of MY thoughts.
            ROBIN:  You asked for immortality.  I'm giving you a way to be immortal.   Ever heard of The Cloud?   Social media?   Rome wasn't built in a day, Jerry.
            JERRY:  It would have been had I had anything to do with it.

       
           METROCOURT

            ANNA:  My friend the Medical Examiner has his own suspicions about the body Paul claimed was Carrrrrrrrrrrlos.  All we need to do is run a DNA test on that necklace.   Too bad we don't have any of Sloane's DNA to prove that body was his and not Carrrrrrrrrrlos's
            MAC:  That's where you're wrong.  I snatched Sloane's toothbrush from his apartment.
           ANNA:  You're a GENIUS, Mac!  Why didn't I think of that?  Maybe I was too busy thinking about how I shot Carrrrrrrrrrlos 4 times instead of just 2.
           MAC:  We make a great team, Anna.  Two ex-commishes gettin' it done.

      
           PARIS

          ANTIQUE SHOP LADY:  Ze woman you aah looking for, a Madame Scohpio?  She does not leev in my shop, you see.  Zere is anozzer shop on ze ozzer side of ze ceety wiss ze same name.
          EMMA:  Nice necklace.  My friend Spencer has the same one.
          PATRICK:  Thank you, Madame.   You may just have been more help than you know.
          EMMA:  She was a nice French lady.
          PATRICK:  Did you say Spencer Cassadine had a necklace just like the one that woman had?
          EMMA:  Yeah.  Weird, isn't it?   Not that Spencer wears necklaces, but that he has the same one as some lady in Paris.
          PATRICK:  I need to call your grandma. (dials Anna's number)

 
        METROCOURT

        ANNA:  Patrick, is that you?
        PATRICK:  Emma and I are in Paris, but Robin isn't.  We have reason to think the Cassadines have her.
        ANNA:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAT?
        PATRICK:  Emma saw the Cassadine insignia on some French antiques lady's necklace.   She has to be one of their minions.  
        ANNA:   You stay put.  I'll teleport myself to Paris right away.

    
        HOSPITAL

        MICHAEL:  Dr. Lee, is the baby going to be humongous or what?
        DR. LEE:  Rest assured, Michael, the baby tested negative for gigantism.  He or she is just the right size for how far along Sabrina is.
        SABRINA:  See.  No huge baby.  No problem.
        MICHAEL:  But the sonogram said...
        DR. LEE:  I get why you're worried, but the baby is just fine.
     

       METROCOURT

       KIKI:  Morgan, you're alive!   When you didn't answer my texts, I checked all the hospitals.
       MORGAN:  Will everybody in my life just CHILL THE HELL OUT???  First my mom counts my pills, now you're calling hospitals because I had a night out with some friends.
       KIKI:  Was Barbie one of those friends?
       MORGAN:  Her name's Darby and so what if she was?   You put me clearly in the friend zone.
       KIKI:  Yeah, well, I'm kinda being a friend right now and worrying about you like friends do.  By the way, my co-worker found some pills when he cleared your table.
       MORGAN:  You want to count my pills too?   I went to Dr. M and got replacements.  No harm, no foul.

   
      PARK

     TRACY:  Paul, you are such a good person now.   I'm stunned by the transformation.
     PAUL:  Well, I wouldn't canonize me just yet, Tracy.  It might hurt my image.
     TRACY:  Baby, it's cold outside.  Keep me warm.
     PAUL:  Your hands are cold as ice.
     TRACY:  My sister-in-law might be suspicious, but boy, your lips look delicious.
     PAUL:  What can I say?   It's that time of year when the world falls in love.
     LURKING CARRRRRRRLOS:  Gag me!
  
  
     SONNY'S HOUSE

      MICHAEL:  Dad, I think Sabrina's hiding something from me.
   
   
     HOSPITAL

       DR. LEE:  You know, big secrets can weigh more than babies, Sabrina.  Carrying such a lie around, you might was well be having triplets.

 
     PARK

      CARRRRRRRLOS:  Well, that sickening scene was long enough.  What's up?
      PAUL:  This is rush money, Carrrrrrrrrrlos.  As in rush the hell out of town before you blow my plans up in smoke.
      CARRRRRRRLOS:  No can do.  I'm having a baby.
      PAUL:  I never would have guessed.  You're not showing yet.
      CARRRRRRRLOS:  Ha ha!   Zabrrrrrrrrrina is having my baby.
      PAUL:  No, you idiot, she's having MICHAEL QUARTERMAINE'S baby.
      CARRRRRRRRLOS:  She's having MY BABY.  Who's the idiot now?
      PAUL:  Who cares?  Just get the hell out of Port Chuckles and catch the first flight to Zimbabwe.  NOW!

 
    METROCOURT

    CARLY:  Morgan, I'm sorry I counted your pills and acted like your guard dog.
    MORGAN:  Yeah, yeah, it's okay as long as you sign a no-pill-counting contract I wrote on this here napkin.
 
   
    CASSADINE ISLAND

    JERRY:  Your time's up, Robin.   Get ready to meet your maker.   Had you only come up with a cure faster, you could have created your own robo-clone to give you immortality.