Judges Be Judgy

     That's what Franco told Nina, not in so many words, after she came up empty at her arraignment.   Meanwhile, Ric wiggles his way out being charged with Silas's murder and shows up at the courthouse after Nina is denied bail with Madeline's prized document in his hand.   Franco tells Kiki that her mother and Morgan had been doing the deed behind her back.   Carly and Sonny try in vain to convince Morgan to get screened for Bipolar disorder.  Dillon wants Lulu to play the female lead in his movie, but Lulu has other ideas.  

       COURTHOUSE

        JUDGE ROTH:  How do you plea, Mrs. Lansing. 
        NINA:  Not Guilty.  On behalf of Franco, I also plead not guilty. 
        JUDGE ROTH:  Has no one in this town watched a single episode of Law & Order?  There seems to be an abundance of confusion about how courtrooms work.  
         NINA:  I didn't kill Silas.  Neither did Franco.   I appreciate the juice boxes and all, but me and Franco should be playing duck-duck-goose outside of a jail cell. 
         ALEXIS:  Do you ever SHUT THE HELL UP, Nina?  
         NINA:  But...but...but...somebody else killed Silas!   
         JUDGE ROTH:  Bail is denied. 
         ALEXIS & NINA:  CRAP!  
         MADELINE:  Poor, babbling, desperate Nina.  
         NINA:  Mother, what are you doing here?   And where's my husband, your lapdog? 
         MADELINE:  I'm only here to support you, darling.   Do you miss the looney bin?  
         NINA:  Not as much as I miss my money, MOTHER. 

       PCPD JAIL

        FRANCO:  Here's the deal, Kiki.   Silas knew that Morgan and your mother were screwing behind your back.  
        KIKI:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAT?   Where's the proof?   
        FRANCO:  She TOLD ME.  
        KIKI:  Oh REALLY.  When were you planning to tell ME what was going on between my boyfriend and my mother who was pretending to be my aunt?   I need some brain bleach, like NOW!
        FRANCO:  Well, Ava bribed me to keep my mouth shut by helping me get Nina back, so I was like, what the hey?   What Kiki doesn't know won't hurt her.  
        KIKI:  Seriously, Franco?   You chose that sister-stealing PSYCHO over ME, your almost-daughter?  
        FRANCO:  Hey, I came clean in the end, didn't I?  Want a juice box?   I can throw in some animal crackers.  

       HAUNTED STAR

       DILLON:  Lulu, will you please be my Marjorie? 
       LULU:  N and O!   I'm not an actress, Dillon!   I didn't even try out for a school play.   So not happening. 
       DILLON:  Come ON, Lulu!   At least I know YOU won't ditch me for Game of Thrones!  
       LULU:  Here's an idea.  How about you dress up in drag and play Marjorie yourself.  
       DILLON:  I'm already playing Declan.  
       MAXIE:  Bad news.   Reeves is out.  
       LULU:  You mean Keanu Reeves doesn't want to play Declan?   Well, he is a little, well, mature for the role...
       MAXIE:  I MEANT Reeves, the shoestring-budget fashion designer. 
       DILLON:  Maxie, will you help me convince Lulu to play my leading lady?  
       MAXIE:   Come on, Lulu!   Think of all the amazing Hollywood parties you can bring me along to.  
       LULU:  You want to party in Hollywood, Maxie?  How about YOU play Marjorie and leave me the hell out of this.  

      SONNY'S HOUSE

      CARLY:  Morgan, you may want to sit down for this.   We are worried about you.  We think you might be going off the deep end.  We think you might be...
      SONNY:  Bipolar
      MORGAN:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAT?   You think I'm bonkers like my old man?   
      SONNY:  Hey!   Do I look like a lunatic to you, son?  
      MORGAN:  I'm just fine because I dumped Ava and all my problems are solved because they were all Ava's fault. 
      CARLY:  I hate Ava as much as the next sane person in this town, but you've been out of control since before you hooked up with that tramp. 
      SONNY:  Son, you can get help for this.   You can take meds, just like me.   It sucks to have to set a pill alarm, but it sucks worse to hurt the people I love because I'm acting all bipolar-y.  
      MORGAN:  I'm SO not seeing a friggin' SHRINK!   Kiki will solve all my problems.  All I need is Kiki. 
      CARLY:  So what you're saying is that one Jerome is the cause of all your problems, from gambling to drugging your brother, to being an all-around loose cannon, and another Jerome is the solution?   What is so wrong with getting help?   Have you become a scientologist all of the sudden?  

    PCPD

      JORDAN:  Lomax is putting the screws to me, detectives.  Why did you let Lansing go? 
      NATHAN:  Because he Ric Lansing-ed his way out of the charges. 
      JORDAN:  Really?  
      DANTE:  We did what we could, but he's covered in as much teflon as my dad.  
     
     COURTHOUSE

      RIC:  Hi Mad Maddie.   Trying to buy Nina a Get Out of Jail Free card so you can send her back to the funny farm?  
      MADELINE:  Do you have the DOCUMENT?  
      RIC:  Have I let you down, Mads?   Here it is.   By the way, how did you get Silas to sign it?