2015 Year in Review

       Here it is, better late than never:

                                           Sung to the tune of Billy Joel's "Piano Man"
                   

On New Year’s Day in Port Chuckles, Liv and Julian in the same bed

Maxie and Nathan had finally met up, and Alexis was still dating Ned.

Fluke hid out in the sad basement of his old family home on Elm Street

Helena controlled Jake, her Soldier Boy.  She made a spy of Rosalie

                                               

Sonny was sitting in prison, with Ava and Franco there too

And let’s not forget about Johnny.  Turns out he was working for Fluke.

                                                                         CHORUS

       Sing us a song of Port Chuckles

In the year twenty-fifteen

The highs and the lows and who comes and who goes

The stories unfolding onscreen.  

Fluke, he was planning a party, a soiree on the Haunted Star

Helena made Jake put a bomb on the boat.  It was planted behind the bar.

Sonny and Julian plotted a jailbreak to save both their sons. 

 Franco and Ava were tagging along but she ran into Carrrrrrrlos’s gun.

Heather met Nina at Shadybrook.  Tried to kill her with LSD

Then Franco showed up and injected himself, to save his girl Nina, you see.

CHORUS

Sonny jumped into the harbor with the bomb that was on the boat

He saved all the Haunted Star’s passengers.  But he was not gonna gloat.

The mayor then gave him a pardon. And Michael flew into a rage

 He took custody of baby Avery, all that did was set up the stage

For Michael to be drugged by Morgan and Kiki so that he would lose

Custody of Baby A.J. for looking all strung out on booze.

CHORUS

Tracy and Lulu went searching for answers on Luke’s long lost sis

They found her and she said Luke killed his dear mom, he wished that he had swung and missed.

Luke’s sister Pat had a daughter.  Valerie was the girl’s name.

After Pat died in that Elm Street house, Val began staking her claim

On Dante who showed her such sympathy, while Lulu gave her a wide berth

Because Val attacked Luke in the hospital, she’s the worst cousin on Earth. 

CHORUS

The Nurses’ Ball brought the drama.  Ric’s lie was outed onstage

Hayden was not Jake Doe’s hubby.  Liz left the ballroom in a rage.

Nik told Liz that Jake was Jason, for he was back from the dead

Because she wanted Jason all to herself, the truth from Jason she hid.

Olivia went into labor.  Duke Lavery was rubbed out.

Anna put four bullets in Carrrrrrrrrrlos’ chest, which did fill her with grief and doubt.

CHORUS

Silas told Ava some bad news.  She had cancer and she’s gonna die.

Unless she got bone marrow from Crypt Baby, for her life the finish was nigh.

Nina got so pissed at Franco, when he thought she snatched Ava’s kid

She dumped him and married Ric Lansing, and gaslight his new wife Ric did.

Ava survived her lymphoma.  To Port Chuckles she had returned.

 Disguised as one Denise DiMuccio.   Ava was dead as far as she was concerned.

CHORUS

Madeline Reeves silenced Silas.  DiMuccio’s cover was blown

Kiki found out Morgan was cheating, with her mother Ava Jerome!

Paul Hornsby returned for son Dillon.  Dante had fireworks with Val

Lulu skipped town to save Lucky.  Li’l Jake had been Helena’s pal.

Luke left Port Chuckles to find himself.  Laura moved in with her son.

Hayden awoke from her coma.  Sonny was felled by a gun.

CHORUS

Sam and Patrick made wedding plans.  Liz and Jake made them as well.

Spinelli returned to help figure Jake out.   Carly found out and did tell

Jake that his real name was Jason.  He was her long lost best friend.

They went to the church to tell everyone the wedding to Liz had to end.

Jason’s still missing his memories such as being married to Sam

Liz lied to him for all of seven months.  Nik, he was in on her plan.

CHORUS

Sonny is now in a wheelchair.  Paul Hornsby’s gun put him there

Because he was after Corinthos mob turf and now Avery’s in Ava’s care

Helena supposedly bit the dust.  Her grandson, he took a swan dive.

Sent sailing o’er a MetroCourt balcony.  It’s because of Liz that he survived.

Robin was rescued from Jerry by Patrick and her mom and dad.

The Scorpio Drake family’s whole once again and Emma is no longer sad.

CHORUS 

Anna did not murder Carrrrrrrrlos.  He turned up alive, in one piece

But Anna and Mac know what Paul Hornsby did.   He’s in trouble, to say the least.

Nina and Maxie run Crimson, determined to save the sinking ship.

Alexis is living with Julian because they are now joined at the hip.

Lulu is hiding a fugitive.  Her ex-lover Johnny is back.

He’s camped out on the Haunted Star with a task: Put Val’s career under attack.

FINAL CHORUS: 

So that is what went down in Port Chuckles.

In the year twenty-fifteen.

What troubles and joys will those girls and those boys

Find in the year twenty-sixteen?

Photos courtesy of Lisa's GH Screencaps and General Hospital Snark.