D-I-V-O-R-C-E

   Dante tells his mama Liv that he and Lulu are headed to divorce court.  Lulu has some parting advice for Johnny as he gets sent off to the hoosegow.   The rooftop of Sam and Jason's romantic memories is the site of a Crimson photo shoot.  Julian asks Lucas to be his best man.  Sonny has a surprise for Epiphany and Epiphany only. 

     METROCOURT LOBBY

     REPORTER:  Ms. Falconeri, the world doesn't need to see your boob on display, regardless of whether it is giving life-sustaining nutrients to your infant son.   Get a ROOM! 
     OLIVIA:  If you have a problem with my boob nourishing my kid, DON'T LOOK AT MY FRIGGIN' BOOB!   'Nuff said.
     DANTE:  My mother has a point, lady. 
     OLIVIA:  So, Dante, have you made up with Lulu yet?  I hear she went into a BURNING BUILDING to save Valerie.
      DANTE:  With all due respect, Ma, you don't know the half of it.

  
      PENTHOUSE ROOF

      MAXIE:  OMG, this the PERFECT spot for our photo shoot.  It could be part of a series:  The Roofs of Port Chuckles.   After all, Nina wants us to think outside the box and this is, well, on top of the box, so to speak.
      DILLON:  So to speak.   How's Lulu?  
      MAXIE:  Well, Johnny saved her from getting sent to The Big House, so there's that.   I feel sort of guilty about kinda lying to Nathan, though. 
      NATHAN:  So, I was on a doughnut run and picked up some liquid refreshment.   Dillon, since I don't hate you anymore because you're helping my sister, you can have one too. 


       PCPD

       LULU:  Johnny, thank you for going to prison for me, for not telling the cops that siccing you on Valerie  was ALL MY IDEA.  I'm having so many guilt feels about this.
      JOHNNY:  Hey, when you've been in lockup as many times as I have, you get used to it. 
      LULU:  Seriously, Johnny, I owe you big-time.
      JOHNNY:  When you put it that way, howz 'bout busting out of here and hanging with Sabrina and Carrrrrrrrrrrrlos in Canada?
      LULU:  Sorry.  Can't.  I just remembered I have Rocco.  Seriously, why can't I remember his existence for more than five minutes at a time? 
   
   
     HOSPITAL

      SONNY:  Epiphany, come quick.   I have surprise for you.
      EPIPHANY:  A surprise from Sonny Corinthos?   Should I be excited or nervous?
      SONNY:  Check this out.   I can sorta stand on my own two feet. 
      EPIPHANY:  HALLELUJAH, SONNY HAS RISEN!
      SONNY:  A little favor:  Keep this on the down-low until I can actually put one foot in front of the other. 
      EPIPHANY:  Say WHAAAAAAAAT?   You're not gonna tell Carly or your own kids that you can stand? 
      SONNY:  I gotta lull my enemies into complacency, Epiphany.   They can't know that I'm on my way back and Carly has a mouth as big as all of Port Chuckles. 

   
      JULIAN:  So, son, you and Brad gonna get married anytime soon?
      LUCAS:  He still has that pesky secret wife problem, so nope.
      JULIAN:  Those damn secret wives!   Well, I hope you're not too bummed that Alexis and I are tying the knot because I'd kinda like you to be my best man.
      LUCAS:  I'm SO not bummed about that, Dad!   That's awesome, man!   I'll totes be your best man. 
      JULIAN:  Good to hear, son.  Remember when I was all in your face about being gay and you and Alexis helped bring my mind into the 21st century?   And now, you're going to stand up for me at my wedding.  I'm getting the sentimental feels now. 

    
      METROCOURT LOBBY

      OLIVIA:  What don't I know? 
      DANTE:  Lulu just got away with attempted murder.   It was all her idea to set Valerie up.   Her own COUSIN, Ma!   Johnny took the rap for her or she'd be headed to P-ville right along with him. 
      OLIVIA:  LULU wanted to have someone KILLED?   When did YOU get hit by the crazy stick?   There's no WAY Lulu would try to kill anyone.  
      DANTE:  She wasn't trying to get Valerie killed as much as run her out of town by getting her kicked out of cop school.   When she involved a DESPERATE and DANGEROUS FUGITIVE, the plan went awry and Valerie found herself tied to a chair in a burning building.  Johnny texted Lulu with his location, so she showed up just in time to save Valerie from roasting in a burning ring o' FIRE!
    

       PCPD

     LULU:  Word of advice, Johnny: Use your time in the slammer to become the best Johnny you can be!
     JOHNNY:  If I do that, will you have sex with me when I get sprung?   Just kidding!  Sorta. 
     LULU:  Just stay out of the chain gangs and I'll think about it.  


     PENTHOUSE ROOF

     MAXIE:  I'm sorry I told some half-truths about Johnny.
     NATHAN:  Well, you were protecting Lulu and you did tell us he was on the loose, so we're cool. 
     MAXIE:  Really?   Remember how it used to be ME who did the crazy, reckless stuff that would always blow up in my face?   That's before I had Georgie and got together with a sexy doer-of-right-things like YOU Nathan West. 
     NATHAN:  Let's get off this roof and into a bed to have some sex. 
   

     HOSPITAL

      JULIAN:  Hey Sonny, remember how last year at this time, we were prison besties?   You and me and a jealous Franco who kept wanting to tag along?   Those were some good times, aside from the being in prison part.   Whaddaya say we be besties on the outside this time?
      SONNY:  Two words:  Duke Lavery.
      JULIAN:  That was on Carrrrrrrrrrrlos, Sonny.   I've gone mob-free now, remember.  My doc said mobs are bad for my cholesterol.  When Leo was born, then "died", then showed up alive and feeding from Olivia's boob, it gave me a new lease on life.  I promised Alexis and my kids that I was going straight-up and legit. 
      SONNY:  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!   You don't understand how the mob works do you, Julian?   You don't just leave your two-weeks notice and get the hell out.   Mobs are like roach motels.  You check in, but you don't check out. 


      PCPD

     DILLON:  Hey Lulu, I'm sorry I didn't bust Johnny's ass the moment I saw him on the Haunted Star the first time.   I was remiss in my duty to save you from yourself.
     LULU:  I'm sorry for being such a crappy friend. 
     DILLON:  Well, I DID kinda publicly humiliate you and Dante at your Halloween party. 
     LULU:  You were just being a Teller of Truths. 
     DILLON:  Friends?
     LULU:  Yeah, friends.
     DILLON:  Good, because I miss the capers like saving your brother from the bad guys.  We should go on more capers.  Platonic capers, but capers all the same.