It was not a good day to be a mother in The Chuckles. While Nathan and Nina washed their hands of Murderous Maddie, Kiki wrote off her boyfriend-boinkin' mama Ava. Michael gives brotherly advice to a reeling Morgan. Julian and Alexis have sexy time before she leaves to visit Kristina. Sonny and Carly get some pre-wedding cuddling in with adorable Avery in tow. Maxie's good news is overshadowed by Nathan's arrest of Madeline.
PCPD
MAXIE: OMG, I have the most amazing news! I'm going to be a---
NATHAN: I just had to arrest my mother-aunt for murder. AGAIN.
MAXIE: OMG, Nathan! I'm so sorry. I bet it sucks to have to keep arresting your family members.
MADELINE: I'VE BEEN FRAMED!
NATHAN: Save it, Mother-Aunt. We have your confession in a tidy mp3 file. It hits iTunes this week.
MAXIE: Arrested for murder AGAIN, Madeline? And you thought I was unsuitable? By the way, orange is SO not your color.
MADELINE: It was all a big misunderstanding, James. I'm not a murderer.
NATHAN: James Shmames! My name is Nathan. And you are a MURDERESS! Liesl Obrecht is my mother and you're my crazy aunt Madeline who will wither away in Pentonville for the rest of her days.
MADELINE: You are my SON because I SAID YOU'RE MY SON!
HAUNTED STAR
MORGAN: Me. Booze. NOW!
BARTENDER: You've had enough, dude.
MICHAEL: Just give us a bottle of Perrier. I'll try to convince my kid brother that it's gin and tonic.
MORGAN: My life is OVER, man. Kiki dumped me and Mom and Dad think I'm nuts.
MICHAEL: Wait a minute, Kiki dumped you?
MORGAN: Well, I kinda slept with her mother when I thought I was sleeping with her aunt.
MICHAEL: Yeah, girlfriends tend to frown on that.
MORGAN: I tried to resist Den--Ava, but my little brain on the other end wasn't up to the job, man. Do you think I'm bipolar too?
MICHAEL: It's worth getting checked out. Mom's really worried.
MORGAN: Mom told YOU? Are you sure it's not a case of Early 20s Male Syndrome?
MICHAEL: Only one way to find out. See a shrink, man!
MORGAN: Maybe you should see one too. It might help you forgive Dad.
PCPD JAIL
KIKI: Hi MOM! I know what you did. I know you were sexing up my boyfriend behind my back.
AVA: It wasn't like that, Kiki. Morgan just appeared and estrogen flooded my brain.
KIKI: And I'm the Queen of France.
AVA: Morgan is IRRESISTIBLE. You know that as well as I do. IRRESISTIBLE.
KIKI: Morgan is DEAD TO ME and so are you!
AVA: No, Kiki! NOOOOOOOOO!
JULIAN'S APARTMENT
ALEXIS: I'm leaving town. Kristina broke up with another boyfriend and she needs me.
JULIAN: Bummer. I'm gonna miss the sex. But I totally get that she's your daughter, so go do your motherly duty. But first, we've gotta go a few rounds of horizontal tango.
ALEXIS: Can't turn that down. By the way, if you need another lawyer while I'm gone, I can call Diane for you. She's really good at getting mobsters--and ex-mobsters--off the hook.
JULIAN: You're the best lover/lawyer I've ever had. Let's get NEKKID!
PCPD JAIL
FRANCO: Good news, Nina. They found Silas's real killer and we're busting this joint TOMORROW!
NINA: So they're finally putting Ava away?
FRANCO: It wasn't Ava. It was your murderous MOTHER.
NINA: Why does that not shock me? Oh, I know. Because she put me in a 20 YEAR COMA!
FRANCO: People think WE'RE crazy, they should see our MOTHERS.
MADELINE: Nina! NINA! YOUR HORRIBLE HUBBY FRAMED ME!
NINA: Come off it, MOTHER! You killed Silas. YOU killed SILAS! He was an innocent man, mother. You killed him like you TRIED TO KILL ME! YOU ARE NO MOTHER TO ME. YOU MUST REPENT REPENT REPENT! No, you are BEYOND repenting. You're DEAD TO ME! DEAD, MOTHER! JUST LIKE SILAS! DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD!
MADELINE: For crying out loud, Nina, stop being so HISTRIONIC! I will always be your mother.
NINA: Take her away, guard! GO TO HELL, NON-MOTHER!
FRANCO: Hey, Nina, forget about Madeline. We're gonna be FREE AS BIRDS tomorrow! You can kick sick Ric to the curb and kiss catatonic Heidi goodbye. Tomorrow, we become Franco and Nina 2.0. Now who can we blackmail for a 5-star hotel suite...
SONNY'S HOUSE
SONNY: Ric's off the hook. Nina's nutty mother Madeline did Silas Clay in.
CARLY: Madeline? No way! She and I were just comparing notes on our unstable kids.
SONNY: Turns out she's just as wacked out as her daughter.
CARLY: Guess so. But I'm still worried about Morgan. He's on the super high-speed train to Bipolar Town and he needs help ASAP!
SONNY: At least he's got Ava out of his life. She's going DOWN for what she did to Connie.
CARLY: And I'm so happy to be this adorable little girl's mother. Cutest 10-month-old EVER!
PCPD
NATHAN: Sorry I interrupted your good news earlier, Maxie.
MAXIE: Oh, it's nothing. I'm just going to be a movie star. That's all.
NATHAN: Say WHAAAAAAAAT?
MAXIE: I'll tell you all about it over some fancy French wine that only you can pronounce.
" NATHAN: Save it, Mother-Aunt. We have your confession in a tidy mp3 file. It hits iTunes this week."
ReplyDeleteITunes huh? Well, I will just have to check it out! Hahahaha!
" NINA: Come off it, MOTHER! You killed Silas. YOU killed SILAS! He was an innocent man, mother. You killed him like you TRIED TO KILL ME! YOU ARE NO MOTHER TO ME. YOU MUST REPENT REPENT REPENT! No, you are BEYOND repenting. You're DEAD TO ME! DEAD, MOTHER! JUST LIKE SILAS! DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD DEAD!"
ROFL!
"MADELINE: For crying out loud, Nina, stop being so HISTRIONIC!"
I thought she was going to say stop saying dead! ROFL!
"I thought she was going to say stop saying dead! ROFL!"
ReplyDeleteThat too! LOL
ROFL!
ReplyDelete