Julian & Alexis's Wedding Part I: You're Sick

    Sonny gives Morgan a reality check.  Kristina tattles on Molly as they are getting Alexis ready for her big day.  Dixon and Ava meet for the first time.  Paul needs Anna's help.  Lucas gives the groom-to-be a letter from his teenage self.   Kiki tells Ava that she and Morgan are history.  Lulu decides to move out of the Haunted Star but is it too late? 

    SONNY & CARLY'S HOUSE

     MORGAN:  Fine, Dad, I'm off my meds and Little Morgan is back on the job.  Are you happy now?  Stupid question.  You fired me. 
     SONNY:  Morgan, you're outta control, son.   You're shagging some chick during work hours and I'd be a bad boss if I didn't fire you.   Not to mention, a bad dad.  A very bad dad.   So if you're gonna go on a self-destructive, unmedicated rampage, I'd rather not have you around my baby daughter.  
     MORGAN:  Fine, maybe I WILL move out and get my unmedicated ass away from the parental gazpacho.  Or was that gestapo.  That's what it was.  The Parental Gestapo. 
     SONNY:  You're one sick, sick puppy, Morgan.  


      ALEXIS & JULIAN'S HOUSE

     MOLLY:  Here's your something blue.   My old hair ribbons.   Doesn't that bring back all the nostalgic feels? 
     ALEXIS:  Those pigtails!    (starts to sob) 
     KRISTINA:  Here's your something new.   A pic of all of us Davis Girls.   All happy and smiley with no deep dark secrets between us.   
     ALEXIS:  All the happy feels!   (starts to cry tears of joy)  
     SAM:  Here's something old.  
     ALEXIS:  How cute!  You wrapped up one of Danny's toy cars!   Well, Leo's at the stage where he puts everything in his mouth so--
     SAM:  Hello, Mom?  It's a mini version of the car you and Julian had sex in!   The sex that led to my very existence!  
     ALEXIS:  All the nostalgic horny feels!!!!
     KRISTINA:  Speaking of horny, guess who just cashed in her V card. 
     MOLLY:  KRISTINA!!!!  
     KRISTINA:  Yes, your little darling pigtailed Molly gave Little TJ the keys to her kingdom.   Or, shall we say, Queendom?   You go, Molly! 
     ALEXIS:  All the mixed-emotion-nostalgic-appalled-relieved-gonna-ruin-all-my-makeup feels!  (sobs uncontrollably) 
     DIANE:  I guess now's a s good a time as ever to lend you my 50 Shades of Wedding Night kit, but you'd better return it, just in case Max grows a pair and puts a ring on it.  


     PCPD

     DANTE:  Any intel on this Raj character, Anna?  
     ANNA:  I'll let you know as soon as I know. 
     PAUL:  Go scrub toilets, Falconeri!   I have to talk to my Special Investigator.
     ANNA:  You want to know if I'm going to bust you for killing Sloane, don't you?   You're nothing if not predictable.  
     PAUL:  Well, are you?   I'd hate to have to tell you BFF Ms. Ashford that you put 4 bullets in Carrrrrrrrrrrrlos' chest. 
     ANNA:  What do you know about the gun deal going down tonight on the pier?   Stupid question.  YOU'RE BROKERING THE DEAL!!!!   
     PAUL:  Now what gave you that cockamamie idea?  
     ANNA:  I'm going to make the educated guess that it was my cerebral cortex.  
     PAUL:  PFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!   You might want an upgrade on that cortex because I'm trying to trap those gun runners in a sting.  You've heard of those, haven't you?   I sure hope so because I'm going to need your help making this town safer and free from the likes of Raj the Gunrunner. 


    PIER 54

     DIXON:  So this is Ava Jerome.   Do you always dress like this to intercept arms deals?  
     AVA:  As if this is any of your beeswax, I'm dressed for a wedding.  You know, when two people who love each other exchange rings and drink an ocean of champagne?  
     DIXON:  Wedding Schmedding!  You gotta be at the gallery to make this look legit.  
     AVA:  If I'm missing at this wedding, people are going to start talking.  Now if you'll excuse me...


    METROCOURT RESTAURANT

    LUCAS:  Here's to my real dad, who de-mobbed himself for his family! 
    AVA:  Lucky S.O.B! 
    OLIVIA:  Sorry I went all Psychic Friends on you last night.   
    JULIAN:  Ooooooookay. 
    LUCAS:  Hey Dad, when I was 14, I wrote a note to you, before I even knew who the hell you were.  (hands Julian an envelope) 
    JULIAN:  Oooooookay. 
    LUCAS:  You can read this after the wedding.  No pressure. 


    KIKI:  I caught Morgan screwing another girl at his dad's coffee warehouse. 
    AVA:  Awwwww, Kiki, I'm so sorry.    And relieved it wasn't me this time.  


    PCPD

   LULU:  You were right.  I shouldn't live on the Haunted Star.   Who am I kidding?   I can't sail a friggin' YACHT!   I'll just go live in my brother's castle instead.   Maybe if I make use of Google Maps and learn all the secret passageways, I can avoid Hayden altogether.  
  DANTE:  Good thinking. 
  LULU:  I just have to go grab my toothbrush.  Can't neglect my oral hygiene.  


  HAUNTED STAR

  LULU:  Hey Mr. Roy The Stranger Who Booked At The Last Minute.   Just going to get my toothbrush.  
  RAJ:  Think again, blondie!   (grabs Lulu and ties her up)  

 
  PCPD

   DANTE:  (leaving message for Lulu)  Hey Lulu, let me know if you need help finding that toothbrush.