Julian & Alexis's Wedding, Part IV: Sonny Gets Vertical. Carly Throws Guns.

      The blood, guns, hostages, and hysteria continues today, as does February 19.   It's beginning to remind me of October 31, 2014, which lasted about two weeks.   Dixon threatens Alexis's daughters and holds Kristina at gunpoint.  Nathan continues to bleed on the floor of the church as Kiki is taken by ambulance to GH.  Of all the times for the medical teleporter to be on the fritz!   A hysterical Morgan is desperate to see Kiki.  Dante comes to Lulu's rescue.  Jordan is upset when Andre intervenes in the Morgan situation.  Anna is super pissed at Paul.  

       CHURCH

     DIXON:  I have a fun idea!  How about I piss Corinthos off by killing his daughter right in front of him!   Which one of you three chickadees calls Sonny her daddy?  
     MOLLY & KRISTINA:  OMG OMG OMG!  
     SAM:  That would be me. 
     DIXON:  Sorry!  Try again!  
     ALEXIS:  (to herself) OMG MAKE THIS STOP MAKE THIS STOP MAKE THIS STOP!!!!!
     MAXIE:  Hello?   Hot boyfriend bleeding to death down here!  
     LUCAS:  Come on, Mr. Bad Guy With A Gun, can't you let me do my doctoring here so this dude my cousin's in love with doesn't die?  
     DIXON:  SIDDOWN AND SHADDUP OR YOU'RE A DEAD DUDE TOO!!!
     NINA:  Um, excuse me, Mr. Scary Gun Guy, but the man you shot is my brother.  
     DIXON:   I SAID SIDDOWN!!!!!
     FRANCO:  Have you ever considered anger management?   Perhaps art therapy could help.  

     
      PIER

      PAUL:  Damn, Ava's gonna be super pissed at me now that her kid got shot because Sonny's kid's off his rocker.  
      CARLY:  For your information, Morgan is SICK!   Sick as in bipolar.   Little Morgan made him go off his meds.  
     ANNA:  This operation has been an EPIC FAIL!  
     PAUL:  You can say that again.  If the Corinthos kid used the right organ to think, we'd be shutting down a massive arms deal right now.  
     CARLY:  I don't have to listen to this!  (Storms away)

   
    PCPD

   MORGAN:  KIIIIIIKIIIIII, oh KIIIIIIKIIIII!  You gotta let me outta here so I can see KIIIIIKIIIII!   
   MICHAEL:  (to himself)  My ears are bleeding.  MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP!!!  (to Morgan)  You gotta calm down, little bro.   Like, seriously. 
   JORDAN:  Put him in a holding cell. 
   ANDRE:  Not. Gonna. Happen.  Kid's my patient.  He's coming to GH with me.  
   MORGAN:  WHO THE HELL CALLED MY SHRINK????   
   MICHAEL:  Hello, Morgan?   You know who else is at the hospital right now?   KIKI! 
   MORGAN:  My KIIIIIIKIIIIII!  
   ANDRE:  Morgan's coming with me. 
   JORDAN:  Who do you think you are, marching onto MY TURF and stealing MY SUSPECTS? 
   ANDRE:  Um, hello?   Suicide risk.  He needs to get admitted to the psych ward STAT!  
  
  
   HAUNTED STAR

   DANTE:  MARCO!  Lulu, that's your cue.  You gotta yell POLO so I can save your life. 
   LULU:  Glug glug glug...polo...glug glug glug. 
   DANTE:  OMG, LULU!   (jumps into Port Chuckles Harbor, swims around, finds Lulu floating helplessly in the water, grabs her, and pulls her up onto the boat)  Damn, who never taught you how to swim?   Come on, LULU!   Look alive!   BREATHE!!!!!   
   LULU:  Glug glug spit spit
   DANTE:  YOU'RE ALIVE!!!!  


  CHURCH

  SONNY:  $2 million for you to disappear and leave us all the hell alone!
  JULIAN:  Make that $5 million.
  AVA:  I volunteer as tribute!  
  NIKOLAS:  I'm a Cassadine with helicopters at my disposal. 
  DIXON:  FOR THE LAST DAMN TIME WHERE'S SONNY'S DAUGHTER???
  KRISTINA:  Dammit, I'M SONNY'S DAUGHTER! 
  MOLLY:  OMG OMG KRISTINA ARE YOU INSANE???
  DIXON:  Prepare to DIE, girlie!   PREPARE TO DIE!!!!
  MOLLY:  OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
  ALEXIS:  OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
  SONNY:  (stands up from his wheelchair and knocks Dixon to the ground ) THE SONNY HAS RISEN!!!   Who's powerless NOW!   
  CARLY:  What the HELL, SONNY?   SINCE WHEN ARE YOU VERTICAL??? 
  SONNY:  CAN'T YOU SEE I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING???   
  CARLY:  Ava, by the way, Kiki's been shot.  My jacket is covered in her blood. 
  AVA:  KIIIIIIIIIKIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!    (Runs out of church in hysterics) 

 
 HOSPITAL

  MORGAN:  I gotta see Kiki.  I gotta see Kiki.  I gotta see Kiki. 
  ANDRE:  You're going nowhere, kid.  Consider yourself admitted.  
  PARAMEDIC:  Female, early 20s, gunshot wound to chest, this don't look so good.  
  MORGAN:  KIIIIIIIIIKIIIIIIII!  
  MICHAEL:  You can't go in there!  
  MORGAN:  SCREW YOU!   I'M COMING KIIIIIKIIII!!!! I'M COMING!!!! 

  PARAMEDIC:  Male, early 30s, GSW to shoulder.  I think this one's gonna live.  
  NATHAN:  See, I'm just fine!  It's not like I haven't done this before.  Does December 2014 ring a bell?  

  DANTE:  Can a dude get a gurney????  I have a waterlogged wife here!   Not like she weighs more than 90 lbs soaking wet, but you guys have to make sure she's all de-glugged and everything.  

 
  CHURCH

  KRISTINA:  OMG, thanks for saving my life, Dad.  Literally!  
  SONNY:  What, no "Hallelujah, Dad has risen?"  Nah, just kiddin'.  
  HAYDEN:  For the record, I liked our wedding, with Burger King and The Clown a LOT better.
  NIKOLAS:  What can I say?  A Cassadine wedding wouldn't be the same if it didn't take place in some sort of castle.
  PAUL:  How 'bout the two of us, keeping the casualty count at two?
  ANNA:  Go to hell, Hornsby!  
  JORDAN:  That goes double for me.  
 
  
  PIER

  CARLY:  THIS ASSAULT RIFLE WENT TO MARKET (throws a gun from the crate into the harbor) THIS ASSAULT RIFLE WENT HOME (throws another gun into the harbor) THIS ASSAULT RIFLE HAD ROAST BEEF. (throws a third gun into the harbor)  THIS ASSAULT RIFLE HAD...
  SONNY:  What the hell, CARLY??? 
  CARLY:  Liar, liar, pants on fire! 
  SONNY:  But if I didn't lie, that awesome scene where I rose from my wheelchair,  kicked Dixon's ass and saved Kristina's life never would have happened.   It's the element of surprise, Carly!   The element of surprise!  
  CARLY:  SCREW the element of surprise, SONNY!   You KNEW this gun deal was going down and YOU KNEW Morgan was unhinged because Little Morgan said NO to drugs.  
  SONNY:  Come on, Carly!  No "YAY, you can walk!"?   No congratulatory nookie? 
  CARLY:  Kiki was SHOT, Sonny!   She's at the hospital with lead in her chest and she might DIE because of mobs and guns and territory and Morgan's erectile dysfunction!  

 
  HOSPITAL

   AVA:   Kiki's in there dying and IT'S ALL MORGAN'S FAULT!!!!!
   MORGAN:  I didn't hurt Kiki!   Big Bad Gun Guy did!   It's all HIS FAULT I might lose my KIIIIIKIIIIII!  
   AVA:  YOUR KIKI????   YOU DITCHED HER FOR SLUT BARBIE, YOU BASTARD.  SHE'S MY KIKI AND SHE MIGHT DIE AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!!!!
 

  ER CUBICLE

  AVA:  Kiki, it's Mommy.  PLEASE LIVE, KIKI!   PRETTY PLEASE WITH ANYTHING YOU WANT ON TOP!!!!  

 
   CHURCH

  ALEXIS:  That was one HELL of a wedding.  The only thing missing was my demented and thankfully departed stepmother.
  JULIAN:  No kidding!    At least we got to say our vows before it all hit the fan. 
  ALEXIS:  Just so you know, this is SO not your fault because I believe you're still 100% mob free.