Sorry Your House Exploded

      Hayden grows concerned when Tracy spaces out during their meeting.  Sonny and Griffin come to an understanding.  Sam visits Jake to let him know she's still among the living.  Liz and her exploded house are the subject of a hospital-wide email.   Nathan's not cool with Dillon taking pix of Maxie.  Sonny and Alexis confront Kristina on why she's AWOL from school.  Nikolas does a little research on the guy who called Hayden Rachel in Las Vegas. 

      METROCOURT RESTAURANT

       HAYDEN:  Tracy, what the what?   You were in the middle of yelling at me when you went all space cadet.  
       TRACY:  I'm as healthy as a horse, RACHEL.  Save your concern for your dear father. 
       HAYDEN:  WHAT father?   The one I've disowned?  
       TRACY:  How can you disown your own FATHER?   I may have played fast and loose with my daddy's heart medication once, but I never pretended he didn't exist.  
   

       FLOATING RIB

      NATHAN:  Isn't this cozy?   The question is, why?  
      MAXIE:  Dillon was just showing me the pictures he took.  
      DILLON:  Maxie is a REAL WOMAN!
      NATHAN:  No kidding?   Here I thought she was a very cute, sexy robot.  
      MAXIE:  What Dillon means is that he arm-twisted me into modeling for the Crimson photo shoot.  But don't worry--not one square inch of boob was showing.
     

       SAM'S HOSPITAL ROOM

      SAM:  I wanna go HOME!
      JASON:  Hey, I feel ya, Sam.  I mean, when I was in the hospital being force-fed Dr. Obrecht's NutriGruel slop, I was ready to jump out the nearest window, but I stayed put until Dr. O shoved bills in my face that I couldn't pay because I didn't have insurance, because I didn't have the foggiest idea who I was.  
      SAM:  How fast can I get my insurance to drop me so Dr. O will kick me out? 
      JASON:  That was SO not the point of that story.  
      ALEXIS:  I come bearing sisters.  
      MOLLY & KRISTINA:  Surprise! 

    
     JAKE'S HOSPITAL ROOM

     JAKE:  I'm sorry I hurt Sam. 
     LIZ:  Are you sorry you lied?   Lying is REALLY REALLY BAD, Jakey.   I should know.  When I lied, Daddy got mad and broke up with me.  
     JASON:  But I'm still your dad, kiddo.   Just put the kibosh on the lying, destruction of picture frames, and creepy drawings, okay?  
    JAKE:  Is Sam dead?  
    SAM:  SO not dead! 
    JAKE:  She's wearing white.  SHE'S A GHOST!!!!!


    EXAM ROOM

    GRIFFIN:  Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't lying to your wife not a good thing? 
    SONNY:  If Carly knows I can stand, the EVERYBODY knows I can stand.   She's my wife and I love her, but she's got the biggest mouth in all of Port Chuckles.   I can't have my *ahem* business rivals *ahem* knowin' I'm on the rise, you see.
    GRIFFIN:  Coffee importing is a lot more competitive than I'd ever imagined.  
    SONNY:  I have to let The Jer--I mean Starbucks--think I'm chained to a chair so they won't see me coming. 
    GRIFFIN:  If you say so. 

   
    METROCOURT RESTAURANT

     DILLON:  Don't stop talking on my account.  It looks like I walked in on a very juicy scene. 
     HAYDEN:  Just ELQ shop talk.   Tracy, get thee to a doctor STAT.   Gotta go back to my castle and my prince of a hubby. 
     DILLON:  Mom, what's up?  Why does Hayden want you to see a doctor?  
     TRACY:  Doctor Schmoctor!  I'm fine!   Hayden is under the delusion that I had a seizure or a stroke or something!  Isn't that crazy?   Maybe SHE should be the one seeing a doctor. 

 
    JAKE'S HOSPITAL ROOM

    JAKE:  Sam, I'm sorry I left you for dead and bolted.  
    SAM:  I'm sorry you got run over by another car.  
    JAKE:  Mom says it's not your fault that she and Daddy aren't together and that lying is very very bad.  
   SAM:  It's not your fault I wear such high heels and trip and fall a lot.


    WYNDEMERE

    NIKOLAS:  (siting at his computer) Baxter Corbin, who the hell are you and why did you call my wife Rachel? 

   
    OUTSIDE JAKE'S HOSPITAL ROOM

    NURSE:  I'm sorry your house exploded, Elizabeth.  We nurses brought some Sorry Your House Exploded toys for the kids.  
    NIKOLAS:  Liz, I heard your house exploded.   Come live at Wyndemere with me, my mother, Spencer and...oh yeah...Hayden. 
    DR. MUNRO:  I don't know you, but I read in an email that your house exploded.   Tough break.  Let me know if you need some help.  
   LIZ:  All the gratitude feels!!!!  

   
    HOSPITAL LOBBY

    KRISTINA:  Hi Dad.  How's Project Ditch This Wheelchair?
    SONNY:  Aren't you supposed to be in school?
    KRISTINA:  Well, Sam almost got blown up when Elizabeth's house exploded.  I guess you don't watch the news because everyone in town knows that Elizabeth's house exploded.  
    SONNY:   Is Sam okay?  
    KRISTINA:  Thanks to SuperJason, who burst in there two seconds before the house went KABOOM! 
    SONNY:  That's my Jason!   Now get back to school. 
    ALEXIS:  What he said, Kristina.  Back to school.  
    KRISTINA:  No can do.  
    SONNY & ALEXIS:  Say WHAAAAAAAT? 
    SONNY:  You better start 'splainin' NOW!
    KRISTINA:  My prof that I engaged in some...extracurricular activities...with said I should study independently.  You know, away from parties and dorms and all that college stuff.   See ya!