Julian & Alexis's Wedding, Part II: The "Marriage Is Stupid" Club

     Franco is the latest member to join Maxie in the "Marriage is Stupid" Club, as we learned when Nina brought up the M word to him at the wedding.   Josslyn's continued existence is confirmed when she blurts out to her mom that she knows Sonny's a mobster.  I guess it's recess time in the Kiddie/Tween/Teen Witness Protection Program.  Michael wants to know why Anna's poking around his dad's house.   Morgan lurks as Paul and Dixon oversee the gun shipment.  Olivia's vision about Julian's bloody hands sort of comes true.   Nikolas brings his new bride to his aunt's wedding.  Alexis is stunned to see Sonny at the church. 

     
     CHURCH

   ALEXIS:  So THIS is what a church looks like!   I almost forgot!  Wait, what is HE doing here? 
   KRISTINA:  Daddy!!!!  
   SONNY:  My daughter invited me and I will do ANYTHING for my children, right, Alexis? 
   ALEXIS:  But you loathe Julian and profess to have no memory of your brief prison bromance. 
   SONNY:   What are you afraid of, Alexis?  That I'll roll over him with my chair?  

  
    METROCOURT RESTAURANT

    JULIAN:  Hey, Liv, can we have another bottle of your best bubbles? 
    OLIVIA:  Sure thing.  
    JULIAN:  OW!   The wire cage BIT me! 
    OLIVIA:  BLOOD!!!   DAMN that LSD has staying power.   My visions are still spot-on! 
   
    JOSSLYN:  Can Uncle Sonny come to my school on Career Day and talk about his life in the underworld? 
    CARLY:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?????    You KNOW your uncle Sonny is a coffee importer. 
    JOSSLYN:  Sometimes you can be SO dense, Mom.   I KNOW Uncle Sonny's a mobster as much as I know how much corn grows in Iowa and you know how much I know about corn. 
   

    DRESSING ROOM

    ALEXIS:  Champagne all around!  Well, almost all around. 
    MOLLY:  Hey, I had sex, so I deserve some adult beverages too! 
    ALEXIS:  What the hey! 
    SAM:  It looks like Dad left you a note.  

   
    WYNDEMERE

     HAYDEN:  The higher the thread count, the better Le Petit Mort! 
     NIKOLAS:  You're really getting into this princess thing, aren't you? 
     HAYDEN:  Hey!  Princess fantasies aren't just for 4-year-olds!  
     NIKOLAS:  Too bad we have to get up and go to Aunt Alexis's wedding.   You know us Cassadines and our family obligations, like weddings, christenings, Bacchanalia balls, cryogenic freezings, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. 
    
    
     SONNY'S HOUSE

    MICHAEL:  Anna, what are you doing here?
    ANNA:  You know what we spies say, Michael.  If I tell you, I'm going to have to...
    MICHAEL:  ...Kill you.   I get that, but it's not like my dad has been able to do much mobbing lately, being in a wheelchair and all.
    ANNA:  It's not his organization I'm worried about.
    MICHAEL:  That makes sense, since he's just a coffee importer.   That is, unless Starbucks is experiencing a shortfall.  


   PIER 54

   PAUL:  GODDAMNIT!  What's taking so long?  
  DIXON:  Lots of guns, my friend.  Lots and lots of guns.  So are we opening a Guns R' Us off Rte 31?
  LURKING MORGAN:  (to himself)  Guns R' Us?   Saweeeeeeeet!   
   PAUL: Nah, we're just going to set up a weaponry and ballistics exhibition at Ava's gallery and call it The Art of The Hit.  
   DIXON:  Sounds like a plan.   Any chance you can swing a few tickets for Raj and me?  I promise we'll show up in disguise.  

 
   PCPD

    MAXIE:  Whose white glove is that in your tux?   Are you getting a little something on the side with a MetroCourt chambermaid?  
    NATHAN:  I haven't worn this tux since my mother-aunt dragged me by the ear to her charity balls.  
   MAXIE:  So it was a debutante!   Oh well.  It was like WAAAAAAY before we were together, so whatevs!   Let's go to my boss's boss's wedding!

 
   CHURCH

    FRANCO:  Churches scare the crap out of me.   It's like the Guy Upstairs is all up in my beeswax.     NINA:  Yeah, you kinda need to get over that because I've already booked our wedding at St. Patrick's Cathedral.  On St. Patrick's Day.  
    FRANCO:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAT????   Marriage is STUPID!   I mean, we're already living together and having all the sex, so what's the point of us putting some dumb rings on our fingers?
   NINA:  First no baby, now no wedding?   Remind me, why am I shacked up with you again?  

  
   PIER 54

   PAUL: (on phone with Anna) Guns at six o'clock.  
   ANNA:  Feds all around the pier.  As soon as you see the green stuff, say "Benjamins" and here come the Feds.  
   PAUL:  Got it.   I'd do our secret handshake, but it's not the same over the phone.
   DIXON:  Who's your phone-a-friend?
   PAUL:  The cops.  Who else is going to send them on a wild goose chase?  
   LURKING MORGAN:  (to himself) Countdown 'til SHOWTIME!

 
   DRESSING ROOM

    ALEXIS:  (reading Julian's letter) Dear Alexis,  Remember when I saved our grandson's life while I was still using my fake name Derek Wells?   Or when you remembered it was me your 16-year-old self had sex with in the back of that Camaro and conceived our daughter?   And when you walked in on me in that exam room where I was stripped down to my skivvies?   And when you told me to choose between you and the mob?  And when I thought Leo died and so I quit the business without even giving my two weeks notice?   And when I proposed to you the same night your nephew got thrown off a balcony?   What a crazy town we live in, Alexis.   I'm so glad I could replace the lakehouse I indirectly blew up with a brand spankin' new one for the two of us to begin our life together.   Love, Julian.  

 
   CHURCH

   SAM:  Hi Nikolas.  Hi Haychel--I mean Hayden.   Congrats on your quickie Vegas wedding.
   HAYDEN:  I'm going to sign my new married name on the guest book.  
   NIKOLAS:  Way to be subtle, Cousin Sam.  By the way, have you heard from Baxter Corbin? 
   SAM:  Not yet.   I promise I won't call her Haychel again.  Not until I know the truth.  

  
   SONNY'S HOUSE

   CARLY:  What's Anna doing here? 
   ANNA:  Ask your son.   I have work to do, like stopping 200 guns from coming into this town. 
   JOSSLYN:  What's in this weird box?   Does it play music or something? 
   CARLY:  Well, if you're one of the unhinged types who call gunshots music, maybe.   Why is Sonny's gun not in the box?  He didn't take it to the wedding to cause trouble with Julian, did he?  
   MICHAEL:  Speaking of unhinged, I think it was Morgan who took Dad's gun.  
   CARLY:  He's off his meds.   We need to stop him. 
  
  
  CHURCH

   KIKI: (over phone) Morgan, pick up, dammit!   Don't do anything stupid!  
   BRAD: Lookee here, hubby-to-be!  Divorce papers.  Rosalie and I are no longer inconveniently married.  
   LUCAS:  What, did she give you a Get Out of Our Marriage Free Card?  
   SAM:  Listen up everyone!  I'm going to wax poetic and read Molly's favorite sonnet in honor of Mom and Dad.  
      
 
  PIER 54

  MORGAN:  OOOOOH I HATE YOU WABBITS!!!!! 
  DIXON:  What's Elmer Fudd doing here?  
  MORGAN:  Morgan's the name and stopping arms deals is my game.   Sonny's my dad and he ain't doing so bad.  Stay off his turf or I'LL SHOOT YOU WASCALLY WABBITS!!!!!  
  PAUL:  Hey kid, get the hell out of the way.   Does Sonny even know you're here playing cops and robbers after the dinner bell has rung?  
  DIXON:  Scram, Junior!  
  MORGAN:  WABBIT!!! WABBIT!!!  IMMA SHOOT YOU, WABBIT!!!  


  CHURCH

   MINISTER:  We are here today to celebrate the union of Julian Jerome and Alexis Davis.  I must admit the names were rather unfamiliar to me, as a man of the cloth...


  OUTSIDE CHURCH

   KIKI (On phone with Michael):  Michael, it's Kiki.  Trouble's a-brewin' with Morgan.   He's at the pier and he might be foaming at the mouth.