Jason rescues Sam before Liz's house blows up, but not before Hallucci-Jason makes a return appearance. Franco comforts Liz and gives her a reality check. Anna entertains Jordan's date Andre Maddox while Jordan is detained by Paul. Sonny and Carly convince Michael not to go chasing Sabrina. Paul pleas with Dillon not to write him off.
JAKE'S HOSPITAL ROOM
JAKE: I killed Sam. Video game...bad guys...Sam...kill bad guys...
LIZ: Poor confused Jakey! I know you're on a ton of drugs right now, but you do know Sam's not a video game character, don't you, Jakey?
JAKE: Nap time.
LIZ: Jakey? Jakey? What did you do to Sam?
LIZ'S BASEMENT
HALLUCI-JASON: Run to me, Sam! This joint's gonna BLOW!
SAM: I'm coming, Jason! I'm coming! Jason? Crap, I'm hallucinating again and I'm really lying on the floor ready to burst into smithereens.
VOICE OF REAL JASON: Sam? Sam? Where are you? Answer me!
FLOATING RIB
ANDRE: Anna, you're back in town! How's the search for the guy you didn't kill?
ANNA: Robert's still on the case. I was just getting in the way, what with crooked DAs on my tail and all. By the way, big props for placing Carrrrrrrrrlos and Sabrina in Halifax.
ANDRE: How does it make you FEEL to be back in Port Chuckles?
ANNA: There is unresolved business with Carrrrrrrrrrlos and Julian. I wanted to be the one who busted the both of them, but I couldn't chance it. If Carrrrrrrrrrlos is to be found, Robert is the one to do it. It took one night in a Halifax jail to make me see that.
PAUL'S OFFICE
PAUL: By the way, Jordan, what's the 411 on Anna? Since you two are besties, have you been in touch? How is Anna liking *ahem* California?
JORDAN: Am I Anna's keeper?
PAUL: Yeah, you kinda are. If you guys are so close, why didn't she text you with deets about how Emma has grown in the past 2 weeks?
JORDAN: What's it to you?
PAUL: I'm merely concerned about a *ahem* friend.
JORDAN: Yeah, that's it.
DILLON: Is it a bad time to come yell at you, Dad?
HOSPITAL
FRANCO: I heard Jake got run over by a car and now that I care about people other than myself, I wanted to say how sorry I am.
LIZ: OMG, Franco, IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!!!
LIZ'S BASEMENT
JASON: Sam? Are you down there? Holy CRAP she picks the WORST places to catch up on her sleep! (grabs Sam and carries her up the stairs)
GAS LEAK: SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! SPARK! SPARK! FIIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
OUTSIDE LIZ'S HOUSE
JASON: Sam, are you alive?
SAM: Jason? I have a feeling I'm not in the basement anymore.
FLOATING RIB
RANDOM PERSON #1: Look, it's the Port Chuckles Godfather.
RANDOM PERSON #2: And he's in a WHEELCHAIR! What's he going to do now? Roll over anyone who tries to take over his territory?
CARLY: M to the YOB, random peeps I don't know! Sonny is HELL ON WHEELS!
MICHAEL: Thanks for coming Mom, Dad. I called you here to tell you I'm headed to Puerto Rico to get Sabrina back.
CARLY: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?
HOSPITAL CHAPEL
LIZ: Jake told me he killed Sam.
FRANCO: Now why doesn't that surprise me?
LIZ: Why does HE hate Sam so much?
FRANCO: I don't know. Maybe because YOU hate Sam.
LIZ: OMG, you're right, Franco. I transferred my hatred of Sam onto poor, innocent Jakey! I'm a HORRIBLE mother!
FRANCO: My fake mother Betsy Karen Frank Anderson Whatever and my real mother Heather Webber are horrible mothers. You've got nothing on those crazy bitches, so snap out of your self-loathing pity party and help your kid.
LIZ: You know, that just might work. Thank you, Franco. You're not as demented as I made you out to be. (answers phone) Hello? WHAT'S happening at my house? Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAT???? EXPLOSION??? (to Franco). OMG, Franco, my house exploded!
FRANCO: Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT???? Did it just spontaneously combust or something? That's been known to happen.
HOSPITAL LOBBY
JASON: Can someone spare a gurney to save the wife I'm just starting to remember having?
RANDOM DOC: What happened to her?
JASON: I saved her from a house that was 2 seconds away from blowing sky-high.
LIZ: (to herself) OMG, Jake really DID try to kill Sam! THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!!!!
FLOATING RIB
JORDAN: Sorry I'm late for yet another one of our dates, Andre. You know, being interrogated by questionable D.A.s and all.
ANDRE: No problem. Anna here has been keeping me entertained with her exploits in a Canadian jail.
JORDAN: Yeah, about that, Anna, can I have a quick word?
ANNA: What is it?
JORDAN: Paul was all up in your beeswax just now. That's why I'm late for my date with your new best friend.
ANNA: Why does that not surprise me? I guess I'll have to put Robert's plan into motion after all.
JORDAN: And what is that?
ANNA: Trust me, you don't want to know.
PAUL'S OFFICE
DILLON: Here are your cufflinks, Dad. I'm still SUPER PISSED at you for what you did to Mom.
PAUL: But I still want to be your dad, Dillon. I like your movie-directing, creative, passionate energy and I want us to still be simpatico.
DILLON: Been there, done that. got screwed over.
PAUL: To be fair, I only screwed over your mother and that's because she wanted us to shack up only with each other, like going steady or something. Besides, I hardly see my other kids, Sarah and D.J. Or was that Susan and P.J.?
DILLON: Sorry, Dad, but no dice. Your track record of offspring neglect speaks for itself. I'm outta here. I've got damsels in divorce to comfort and their cousins they hate but are sort of my friends.
FLOATING RIB
SONNY: I know I was all about you fighting for Sabrina, son, but that was before the postcard that said to leave her the hell alone.
MICHAEL: A friggin' POSTCARD changed your mind, Dad?
CARLY: Sabrina chose Carrrrrrrrrrrrlos, Michael. It was a crappy choice for sure, but it's her choice.
MICHAEL: Fine, I won't go to Puerto Rico because I'm such an obedient son. Someone has to maintain their status as the Golden Boy, right?
ER CUBICLE
SAM: Jason, I knew you'd save me! Halluci-Jason kept trying and I knew that eventually Real Jason would pluck me from that cesspool of toxic fumes before I was blown to bits!
JASON: So did Halluci-Jason keep telling you to run to him?
SAM: Yeah! But only REAL Jason could get me out of there and that was YOU.
LIZ: (to herself) THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!!!!
"HALLUCI-JASON: Run to me, Sam! This joint's gonna BLOW!
ReplyDeleteVOICE OF REAL JASON: Sam? Sam? Where are you? Answer me!"
Yeah it's very confusing isn't it? Hahaha.
"LIZ: OMG, Franco, IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!!!"
ROFL!
"RANDOM PERSON #1: Look, it's the Port Chuckles Godfather.
RANDOM PERSON #2: And he's in a WHEELCHAIR! What's he going to do now? Roll over anyone who tries to take over his territory?"
Yeah those random people just came out of nowhere!!! Hahahahaha!
"SAM: Yeah! But only REAL Jason could get me out of there and that was YOU.
LIZ: (to herself) THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!!!!"
Liz is going to say that for years!! Hahaha.
"Yeah it's very confusing isn't it? Hahaha."
ReplyDeleteJason has many superpowers, including being two places at the same time and saving wives he doesn't remember having from buildings that are seconds away from exploding. Now if only he could find his long-lost memory ;)
ROFL!
ReplyDelete