Don't Look A Gift Bike In The Mouth

    Jake is ready to leave Shriners and he gets a big surprise from a friend--no, make that a Franco.   Maxie gives Nina some advice.   Liz is none too thrilled to see Jason and Sam in the same hotel room.  Michael pleads with Morgan to face reality.   Diane has a plan to keep Morgan out of jail, but Carly's not on board.

      SHRINERS HOSPITALS FOR CHILDREN

   LIZ:  Guess what, Jakey?  You're getting sprung today!   We're going back home.  Well, maybe not home home because, you know, KABOOM, but we get to live in a castle.   By the way, your bike is history.  Just remember:  CASTLE!  
   JAKE:  I get to go home?   That's cool, I guess.  I'll miss the playroom theme park and the doctors and nurses who let me do anything I want. 

   
      HOTEL IN PHILLY

  SAM:  Wakey wakey, Jason! 
  JASON:  Oh look, I'm in a daybed with my wife.   How did that happen?
  SAM:  I read Danny's book to you about kings and Cassadine property rights and you were out like a light.

   
      MAXIE'S APARTMENT

     MAXIE:  Come look at this cover layout, Nina.
     NINA:  What's the appeal of a rubber giraffe?   Where's the cute little fuzz? 
     MAXIE:  It's Georgie's teething giraffe, because teething rings are SO twentieth century!
     NINA:  (reading a book for babies) "Here's Baby.  Here's Potty.   Baby sits on potty.  Sit, sit, sit.  Baby checks facebook feed on potty.  Scroll, scroll, scroll.   Baby's a little backed up..."
     MAXIE:  Yeah, we're not getting anything done today.
     NINA:  Baby needs more fiber in her diet. 
     FRANCO:  Why did I get a call from an adoption agency telling me they'll give us a baby when hell freezes over and the Cubs win the World Series? 
     NINA:  I sorta kinda put in an application and conveniently forgot to tell you about it.
     FRANCO:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?????

   
     MORGAN'S HOSPITAL ROOM

      MORGAN:  Again with these stupid crazy person straps! 
      MICHAEL:  Well, you DID haul ass up to the roof and try to kill yourself.
      MORGAN:  I was just getting some fresh air!  
      MICHAEL:  On the ledge of a building, Morgan?   You were hallucinating Kiki! 
      MORGAN:  She was up there, Mikey!   Maybe you need to get your eyes checked. 
   

      SONNY & CARLY'S HOUSE

      SONNY:  So, what color do you want to paint Avery's room?   I picked up some paint chips the other day at Home Depot.
       CARLY:  How 'bout we not count our chickens before they hatch?
       SONNY:  So you're thinking yellow? 
       CARLY:  I think you've been inhaling paint fumes at Home Depot.  
       DIANE:  So, I came up with a plan to keep Morgan out of the hoosegow. 
       SONNY:  Let's hear it, Diane.
       DIANE:  We say he's a sick kid, then make you two his full-time babysitters. 
       SONNY:  Works for me.
     
    
       HOTEL IN PHILLY

    LIZ:  Jason, what are you doing in Sam's room?
    SAM:  Hello?  I'm his WIFE!   And here I thought Jason was the one with the memory problems.
    LIZ:  Whatever.  Jake is being released today!  Just thought you'd like to know. 
    JASON:  He got sprung from Shriners Hospitals for Children, the greatest hospital on Earth?   Awesome!   I'll be right over. 

    
      SHRINERS HOSPITALS FOR CHILDREN

      JAKE:  (over FaceTime) Hi Franco!   You're my BFF, so I thought you'd want to know I'm getting out of the hospital today.   Are you coming to my big, huge Welcome Home party?  
     FRANCO:  Tell me the deets and I'm there!
     JAKE:  I guess it's at Wyndemere because my house went KABOOM!   I'm gonna miss my bike, even though I was really, really bad at riding it.   We walked everywhere on the island.
   

       MAXIE'S APARTMENT

    NINA:  Wow, I just realized I've never had a female friend in my life.   Well, there was Allegra, but all my conversations with her were one-way, you know.
    MAXIE:  She was really shy?
    NINA:   You could say that.  It's not like she could have talked to me, even if she wanted to.   No one can talk to a horse, of course.  That is, of course, unless the horse is the famous Mister Ed. 
    MAXIE:  I can totes be your first female HUMAN friend. 
    NINA:  Have you ever wanted to have a baby, but you were blacklisted from every adoption agency that ever existed?
    MAXIE:  No WAY!  The same thing happened to Lulu and Dante!   Lulu had a weird uterus and so I was their surrogate.  Except I lost their baby and got knocked up by Spinelli, the guy I was with before Nathan, and tried to pass that baby off as Dante and Lulu's.   Except I wanted my baby for myself.  Then Lulu UN-BFF'ed me and there was this whole custody battle and I was banned from seeing my baby for like a year, so yeah, I wrote the book on baby drama.
   NINA:  And all I did was steal a woman's baby and flee the country with Franco! 
   MAXIE:  Speaking of Franco, does he even WANT a baby?
   NINA:  He will when I get through with him.   But what if we can't adopt?
   MAXIE:  Well, you're not that old.  Have one of your own! 
   NINA:  Yeah, well the coma fried my uterus.  Or at least that's what Cousin Britt said.
   MAXIE:  This is the same woman who stole an embryo to hang onto a man!    Her credibility is kinda shot.  

   
      SHRINERS HOSPITALS FOR CHILDREN

    FRANCO:  Make way for Franco on Wheels!
    JAKE:  Look out, Franco!
    FRANCO:  EEEEEEEEEEE WIPEOUT!!!!!  You're not the only one who needs practice.  By the way, this sweet set of two wheels is all yours.  
    JAKE: You got me a BIKE?   Best BFF EVER! 

    LIZ:  Franco, fancy meeting you here at the magnificent Shriners Hospitals for Children.
    FRANCO:  Do you know if there's such a thing as Shriners Hospitals for Grown Men Who Can't Ride Bikes? 
    JASON:  Go home, Franco.  You might be drunk.
    LIZ:  Franco is Jake's art therapist/BFF.   It's not like YOU didn't bring a plus-one.

   
     SONNY & CARLY'S HOUSE

     CARLY:  I am SO not on board with babysitting Morgan.   Look how that's worked out so far?   I think we should have him committed to Shadybrook.
     SONNY:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????   No son of mine is gettin' locked in a padded cell.
    CARLY:  But I've heard the rec room is a blast, with catatonics who let you beat them at checkers every time!   
  
   
      MORGAN'S HOSPITAL ROOM

    DIANE:  I've got your Get Out of Jail Free card right here.  All you have to do is relinquish your adulthood to your parents/full-time babysitters because you're too mentally unstable to make any decisions and you stay out of the Big House.
    MORGAN:  See, Mikey?   You don't need to worry about a thing, cuz every little thing is going to be alright.