Thursday, March 31, 2016

The Backstory of A Service Lizard

     Dr. Finn tells Carly how Roxy became his Service Lizard.  Emma's spending Spring Break with Grandma Anna and meets Griffin at Kelly's.  Sonny tells Julian that Carrrrrrrrrlos is still walking the face of the earth.  Sonny and Anna's plan to tap Paul's phone is a success.  A sudden noise makes Kiki jump out of her skin.  Ava wants to know what kind of deal Julian made with Hammer.  

       KELLY'S

         GRIFFIN:  There you have it.  Proof that I am Duke's kid.  
         ANNA:  As long as this test was run anywhere other than GH, this is very good news.   No offense to the place where you make your living, but DNA tests run there are done by soap opera writers, which means they are wrong 99.9% of the time. 
         GRIFFIN:  Do my rugged good looks and secret desire to wear a kilt make up for the apparently dubious results of the DNA test?  
          EMMA:  Kilts are so cool.   They're the only skirts boys can wear and not get laughed at.   I'm Emma, by the way, and my grandma's the most amazing grandma that ever existed.  
          GRIFFIN:  I'm Griffin and I never got to meet my dad.  
          EMMA:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?????  


        FREEDMAN CLINIC

         MORGAN:  I'm telling you, Keeks, I'm bad news.   I'm dangerous to be around.   Not to mention, my feels are broken and so is Little Morgan.  
         KIKI:  But there is GOOD in you Morgan.   Once you get your meds all straightened out, Good, Fun Morgan can be set free.  
         MORGAN:  What if the meds turn Good, Fun Morgan into Flat, Boring Morgan?  
         CLINIC WORKER:  (drops tray) Oops!  
         KIKI:  AAAAGGGHHHH!!!!    Am I dead, Morgan?   Who shot me?  
         MORGAN:  It's okay, Keeks.  The clumsy orderly guy just dropped a tray.   Nobody got shot. 
         KIKI:  Nobody...(pant, pant, wheeze, wheeze) got...(pant, pant, wheeze, wheeze) shot?  
         MORGAN:  Remember to BREATHE, Keeks.  
         KIKI:  Wow, I totes freaked, didn't I?   Maybe I belong in this place too.   Wanna be roomies? 


        HOSPITAL

      DR. FINN:  Nurse Johnson, do you have the specimens I requested? 
      EPIPHANY:  Crickets for the Service Lizard?  Here you go. (hands a bag to Dr. Finn)
      DR. FINN:  Thanks, Nurse J.  
      PAUL:  So, are you the doctor who diagnosed my ex-wife with brain worms? 
      DR. FINN:  Not for me to say.  Ask your ex-wife.   Gotta go feed my Service Lizard.  

     
      SONNY'S HOUSE

       SONNY:  Remember how you had this goon called Carrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlos shoot my BFF Duke?  
       JULIAN:  No, because I never ordered him to shoot Lavery.   Carrrrrrrrrrrrrrlos had a mind of his own.
       SONNY:  Has, Julian.  Present tense.  Carrrrrrrrrrrrrlos alive.  
        JULIAN:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAT???   Wasn't his carcass pulled out of the harbor a few months back?
        SONNY:  Don't believe everything you print in that newspaper of yours, Julian.   He's sucking up oxygen just like you and me.
        JULIAN:  I know you sent that black rose to Ava, by the way.  
        SONNY:  When do I send Ava roses?   Ain't got no TIME for that!  
     

        FREEDMAN CLINIC

       AVA:  Um, thanks for keeping Kiki alive after she was shot on the pier.  
       CARLY:  Um, you're welcome.   I actually LIKE Kiki.  
      

        KELLY'S

        SONNY:  Hey there Emma!  Long time no see!  
        EMMA:  Hi Mr. Sonny.   Mommy and Daddy told me to hug you.  (Hugs Sonny)
        SONNY: You here visiting your grandma?
        EMMA:  Mommy and Daddy are in Morocco.  

        ANNA:  Hello Paul!   Put down that cell phone for 5 seconds so I can introduce you to my new friend Griffin.  
        PAUL:  Introducing me to your friends now, Anna?   Does this mean something?  
        ANNA:  Paul, this is Griffin Munro, brain surgeon and Duke Lavery's long lost son.  Griffin, this is Paul Hornsby, our esteemed District Attorney. 
        PAUL:  Hey there, Griffin.  Do you know anything about brain worms?  You see, my ex-wife--
        GRIFFIN:  That's a conversation for another day, Mr. District Attorney.   We are, after all, in a dining establishment.  

         SONNY:  You got it done, Brick? 
         BRICK:  Hell yeah I did, Boss.   Next time Carrrrrrrrrrrlos calls the D.A., you'll hear every word.  

         
          DR. FINN'S METROCOURT ROOM

         CARLY:  I was thinking you and your Service Lizard might need some fresh towels. 
         DR. FINN:  The owner comes by to bring me new towels?  To what do I owe this service?  
         CARLY:  I brought a little present for Roxy.   Whole foods was having a sale on Lizard Lettuce Lunch so I thought, what the hey?  
         DR. FINN:  Roxy only does organic.   She has a discerning palate and understands climate change.  
        CARLY:  How does someone go about getting a Service Lizard? 
        DR. FINN:  Roxy crawled into my sleeping bag while I was camping Down Under.   She was in a bad way, so I did my doctor thing and made a little splint for her broken leg.   You should have seen it.   I set her free, but she came right back like a boomerang.   After all, we were in Australia.   So, I smuggled her into the States and the rest is history.  
      

        HOSPITAL

      AVA:  So, how was Hammer Time? 
      JULIAN:  I took care of it. 
      AVA:  Can you be a little less vague? 
      JULIAN:  You're safe from your goons. 
      AVA:  What did you have to do to make that happen?  Sell your firstborn?   Sam and I have never been close, but I don't want to see her sacrificed to The Organization.  

      
       

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