I Am Quartermaine, Hear Me Roar!

OBRECHT:  Britta!   It is your mutter!   How dare you ignore my call!   You must come to ze hospital immediately or you vill regret it!   Dr. Drake, what is SHE doing viss you?   You Americans and your need for support!   Dr. Drake, despite your poor judgement and your confessing to considering murdering young master Kovich on ze operating table, you have been reinstated.   Don't let it go to your head, Dr. Drake.  One arrogant doctor in zis hospital is enough and zat arrogant doctor is ME!   Britta, vere aah you!   Zis is an EMERGENCY!   Zere you aah!  Vat took you so long?  I had a little chat viss Agent Sloane and he said you REFUSED TO COOPERATE viss him to bring down Anna Devane in ze murder of your fozzer!   Zat vill not be tolerated!   You vill cooperate viss Agent Sloane or I vill tell Nikolas all about how you helped young Spencer disappear!   Cesaah vas your FOZZER!   You vill help Agent Sloane or lose Nikolas. 

 BRITT:  Hmm, Agent Sloane.  To call or not to call?   Dammit!  It's my demented busybody "mutter".  That's what ignore buttons are for.   Hi Nikolas.  I was just burning Agent Sloane's card.  That poor S.O.B. is on his own.  Oh, mother, do you have to be so melodramatic?  I'm headed to work right now.  I'm here, mother.  What's the big "emergency"?   My so-called father never gave a damn about me so why should I lift a finger to bring justice for him.   Um, hello, mother?  It was YOUR IDEA to use Spencer to win Nikolas back in the first place.  Alright, FINE!  If it will get you off my back I'll do it.  

 NIKOLAS:   Britt, are you on your way to work?  Still thinking about helping that Sloane guy?   Whatever you do is fine with me.  See ya later.   No, Spencer, you cannot have chocolate for a snack.  On second thought, I'm proud of you for telling the truth about Franco knowing you were hiding out at Josslyn's house.  You learned your lesson about honesty so you deserve a piece of chocolate.  What do you mean you don't deserve it?   Someone else knew?  Who was it?   Well of course Josslyn knew!  That's it?   Hey, Spencer, why the tears?   I'm afraid Uncle Sonny belongs in jail because he did a very bad thing.

 SPENCER:  I'm hungry.  I want some chocolate.  Why not?   You're proud of me?  But I don't deserve the candy.  I didn't tell you the whole truth.   Someone else knew.   Uh oh.  I don't want to blow the whistle on Britt!  Then Dad will throw her out and she'll NEVER forgive me.  It was...Josslyn.  I'm bummed about Uncle Sonny being in the slammer.   Uncle Sonny is only the coolest uncle EVER!   At least if he's in the pokey, Luke can't hurt him.

 MICHAEL:  I AM QUARTERMAINE, HEAR ME ROAR!   I will do my REAL father proud and finish what he started, restoring ELQ to greatness.  And, I would like to move in.   That means TRACY has to stay as far away from ELQ as possible.  Why, Tracy?  Because you gave yours and Alice's shares to JERRY JACKS, that's why!  Luke was not my favorite person, but this guy, this LUSH is on another level.  LORDE is more of a Lord than he is.  I bet he's even working for Jerry.   Thanks for the recording, Shawn, but you're not my bodyguard anymore because I AM NO LONGER A CORINTHOS!   I'm sorry you had to hear the gunshot that killed my father, grandmother, but this recording exonerates him in Connie's shooting.   Hey Commissioner!   Get a load of this!   I have nothing to say to you, Kiki.   Remember?  DEAD TO ME!

 MONICA:  Michael, I couldn't be more thrilled that you are taking the Quartermaine name but are you sure you want to go Q all the way?   Welcome to full-blown Q-hood, Michael.  You can have whatever room you'd like.  We can stash the drunkard somewhere else.  Oh my god, the gunshot!   I know AJ is gone, but that was hard to hear.   It does let AJ off the hook!  Hallelujah!   Michael, you're the Best. Grandson. Ever.

 TRACY:  What, no love for your great auntie?   I only gave Jerry my shares to save Luke's life.  Instead, I get this bumbling boozer.   And Luke is STILL MISSING! 

  NED:  You'll have to excuse my father, Michael.   Too many dead brain cells.   We're happy to have you in full Q glory. 

 LORD ASHTON:  Hey, don't let that young whippersnapper in my bedroom!   And don't let him drink MY booze!    Take this, young buck!  (attacks Michael)  Now you scurry along, Tracy.   Ask Luke's daughter Lola about the whereabouts of her father.   Jerry, we've got ourselves a problem.

 PATRICK:  Well, here goes nothing.  Sometimes ignorance is bliss.  I'm not sure I want to know whether or not I'm reinstated.   Hello, Dr. Obrecht.   I'm reinstated.  Good to hear.   Thanks Dr. Obrecht.   Ok, I'm free for the rest of the afternoon, then back to work tomorrow.   Let's spy on Larry Ashton, shall we? 

 SAM:  Don't worry about me, Dr. Obrecht.  I'm here as Patrick's friend...with benefits.   You're reinstated, Patrick!  Congratulations!   What do you want to do to celebrate?   Spy on the Qs?  Let's do it!   A ha!  He IS talking to Jerry!

 ANNA:  Agent Sloane.  Long time, no see.   How is my former protegee?   You seem awful interested in local police business, Sloane.  What's it to you?   Just what are you here for?   I'm sorry, Kiki.  No word yet on the baby.  We have APBs out all over the place.   Michael.  What is this?   Let's give it a listen.   Ava Jerome we're here on police--DAMMIT!   First Nina Clay disappears, now Ava Jerome too!

 KIKI:  Now that you're not in grave danger, Mom, I'm real pissed off at you for killing an innocent woman.  Connie Falconeri.  Remember her?   You killed her and left her to bleed to death.  That makes you a murderer, Mom!   Sonny told Morgan and Morgan told me.  Sonny has a recording of you confessing to killing Connie right before AJ was shot.  You killed her and let AJ take the fall.  He started drinking again because he couldn't live with the guilt, even after he was acquitted!   I'll look for my little sister, but I'm doing it for her, not you.   Hi Michael.   How are you? 

AVA:  Yes, I killed Connie and it was wrong.   It was back when Julian was still going by his Derek Wells alias and Connie found out who he really was.  She started to call Sonny and I panicked and shot her.   It was wrong and I feel very bad about it.  We were trying to get a foothold on ELQ at the time.   Right now all of that is unimportant.  We need to focus on finding your little sister.  

SHAWN:  I'm sorry I screwed up yet another hit.  Jordan's life was in danger so I couldn't kill Franco.   She's TJ's mother.   I have the recording and my next stop is to deliver it to Michael.  I'm sorry all this went down, Sonny.   Get your hands off Michael you old dude I don't know!   Michael, here's the recording.  I'd best be on my way.   Kelly's is closed.  TJ, your mother and I need to talk turkey with you. 

JORDAN:  TJ!  It's so good to see you even if you are still pissed at me a little for dealing drugs.  Yes, I was trapped in Sonny's warehouse, first by Franco's loony mother Heather and then by Franco himself.  But I'm okay now.  See.  I'm alive and in one piece.   TJ, can you stick around for a bit?   Shawn and I have some truth-telling to do.  Once Shawn gets here.   Ok, he's here now.  We need to talk to you about your father. 

 TJ:  Mom, I'm so relieved to see you alive.  I heard what went down in that warehouse.  Something about Franco and a bomb?   Even though I wholeheartedly disapprove of your drug-dealing lifestyle, you're still my mom and I still love you.   I have to go study.  French isn't getting any easier.   What do you want to talk about?  It sounds serious.