Will November Ever Come?

 Longest. Halloween. Ever.   The Port Chuckles calendar remains stuck on October 31.   

 MICHAEL:  Your apologies mean nothing to me, Sonny.   Dammit, I should have pulled the trigger.   Mom and Sonny lied to me for MONTHS!   MONTHS!!!  And they PRETENDED TO COMFORT ME!   Morgan, Kiki, don't try to justify their lies by saying they were trying to protect me because that's the biggest lie of all.  They only care about THEMSELVES!   What now, Kiki?   You KNEW?  Morgan, you knew too?  FOR HOW LONG?   HOW LONG???   OVER A MONTH???   So you were all in on this.   I saw you getting all conspiratorial with each other, keeping secrets from me.   CONSIDER YOURSELVES DISOWNED!    I am DISOWNING both of you!   Hey, bartender.  Booze.  Stat.   Hi Rosalie. 

 KIKI:   Oh, MICHAEL, I was so WORRIED that you were going to KILL Sonny.   Where's the body?   Oh, so Dante hauled him off to the station.  WHEW!    Morgan, we have to confess our own conspiracies to Michael now cause my conscience is bugging me something fierce.   So Michael, we knew about Sonny killing AJ too.   We just wanted to PROTECT you, MICHAEL!    Please forgive us!  Puh-puh-puh-lease!    Oh, by the way, Morgan, my mom had a little girl, but that nutbag Nina took off with her.  Just thought you'd want to know.

 MORGAN:  Mikey, you know you didn't really want to kill Dad.   He and Mom were just trying to protect you.  You already lost AJ and they didn't want you to lose another dad too.  Not everyone has two dads, you know.   Yeah, Kiki and I knew for a little over a month.  Ava told us.   You can't disown me, Mikey, I'm your BROTHER!   What?  I have a little daughter or sister?   Where's Ava?   The baby is MISSING?   We've gotta find her! 

 SONNY:   Thank you for defending me Morgan.   Dante, I know you're just doing your job.  Michael, for what it's worth, I'm sorry I hurt you and I love you.   Just a heads up, Dante.  Heather Webber is on the loose.  You need to find Carly.   Oh, and my daughter or granddaugther too.  

 DANTE:   Ok, Sonny, let's go.   Hey, Nate, what's up?   Nina stole my sister or niece?    Man, if it isn't one thing, it's another.   Sonny, what's this text about the job being done.   Heather?   Isn't she locked up at Ferncliff?  I checked and she was.   She's on the loose?  How?  I have to warn my mother.   Carly too?   I'm on it.    Hey Lulu, can't talk now.   On Heather patrol.  Say night night to Rocco for me.  

 NATHAN:  (texting)  Hey Maxie!  What's up?   I miss you too.  (to Rosalie, at PCPD) What do you want, Rosalie?   You lied to me.  You said you didn't know where Nina was.  YOU TOLD MADELINE where Ava Jerome was?   She's as wacked out as my sister-cousin!   Bad Rosalie!   Bad!   That baby is premature and in danger!   What secret?   So you put your secret ahead of that baby's safety?   Get out of here, but don't leave town.   You're in big trouble, sister.   Got the all clear, Dante?   Let's open that door. 

 ROSALIE:  Have you found Mrs. Clay yet?   I really didn't know where she was.  Yes, I told that Madeline woman where Ava was.  Mrs. Clay knew a secret about me and Madeline used it to blackmail me.   I didn't know Mrs. Clay would actually go as far as to STEAL Ava's BABY!   Just keep me posted okay?   Alright, alright, I'm gone.   Michael, what are you doing here? 

 LULU:   OMG, that Nina lady stole Sonny's baby.  Or Morgan's.  Poor Dante.  That's his little sister.  Or niece.   Olivia, just because Ned and Alexis were hugging, doesn't mean they're hooking up!    OMG OMG!   Sonny got arrested for murder!    Poor Dante.  POOR MICHAEL!    Dante, sweetie, what happened?  I heard you had to arrest your dad.   Ok, okay, see you later. 

 OLIVIA:  TMZ Port Chuckles is fascinating TV.   That's the deranged lunatic who...stole SONNY'S BABY?   Poor Sonny!   So Ned's father, this drunken British guy named Lord Larry Ashton shows up instead of your dad.   He can drown his sorrows with Alexis.  I'm not going to horn in on those two like a third wheel.   Whoa whoa whoa whoa!  Hold the phone!  SONNY GOT ARRESTED!   And DANTE had to cuff him?  

 CARLY:  Stuff it, Heather!   Your son's a freak just like his MOTHER!   Speak of the devil, and I mean that literally.   So, Freaky Franco, what'll it be?   You haven't changed.  Once a sick sociopath, always a sick sociopath.  Another mind game.  So typical.  DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR, HEATHER!   Shawn, Jordan and I have too much to lose if we die.  

 HEATHER:  Need.  BLT.  Now.   Hello, son.  Are you going to shoot us now?   You're going to let us go?   I'm not going back to Ferncliff.  I'M GONNA OPEN THAT DOOR!   (tied up) Lert mer ger!  Lert mer ger!  

 FRANCO:  I'm baaaack!   Nah, I'm not going to SHOOT you.  That would be BORING.  I'm going to do something a little different.  I'm going to let you go.   I'm going to leave the door unlocked.  Of course there's a catch!   There may or may not be a bomb attached to that door.   Things could get EXPLOSIVE in here, or they could not.  Is your freedom worth the risk?   That's up to you to decide.   I've got my artistic mojo back.   Hey, anyone home?   Carly?  I don't know where Carly is.   I guess you didn't get the memo.  Carly and I are history.  She slept with Sonny and blew what we had to hell.  I'm just here to get my stuff.  Oh, Maxie, how I miss messing with that pretty little head of yours.   Say hi to Josslyn for me.   Bobbie!   It's really too bad I don't get to call you Mom. 

 LUCAS:  It really sucks that you and Nathan can't be together.  That judge is totes abusing his power.   Chin up, Maxie.  December will be here soon enough.  In the meantime, what's your favorite episode of The Golden Girls?   Brad and I have the ENTIRE SERIES on DVD.   Holy freakshow, Franco's here.   Where's my sister, Franco?  What did you do to her?  

MAXIE:  (texting) I miss you so much, Nathan.  (to Lucas) No news on the election yet.  How weird is it that Election Day is on Halloween now?   I was texting with Nathan.  That's the only way I can have contact with him until my custody hearing.   I talked to Diane and she says there might be a way to stop Judge Walters but it could backfire and it's too big a risk.  I have to wait until the end of December.   Franco?  What are you doing here?  

BOBBIE:  (gesticulating wildly) Scott, you're such as hypocrite.  You play favorites with your psycho son, but you can't play favorites with my DAUGHTER?   If anything happens to CARLY, there will be hell to pay!  I hope Lucy Goosey keeps your bed warm at night.  Franco, get lost, will ya? 

SCOTT:  Hey hey hey, Bobbie, I'm the District. Attorney.  It was my JOB to turn in that recording.  I can't play favorites.   Hey, it's TMZ Port Chuckles!   I'm VERY confident I can get a conviction of the most notorious gangster in the Chuckles!   It WILL happen or my name is not Scott Baldwin.  Carly?, um, no comment.   Sonny, smile for your mugshot!   Show us the dimples!  

SHAWN:  There's got to be a way out of here.   Jordan, did you study how Heather tied you up?  

JORDAN:  Sure did.   Let's do it.  Come on, Carly.  If three strong, sane people can't tie up one nutcase, I don't know who can.