Revenge Wedding Part III & Nina's Diabolical Delivery

Big episode today, with both Franco's and Nina's insane revenge plans in full swing.

Franco:  You heard right, ladies and gentlemen.  My so-called bride is a lying, cheating whore who's screwing around with her ex.   No, not Crocodile Blondee, the other one.   Her mobster sweetheart Sonny Corinthos.   By the way, Carly, Little Miss Corn Girl is a brat!   Yes, Michael, Carly and Sonny have been doing the deed while we've been engaged, and even before then.  Just ask Kiki!   Better yet, let's check out my special Revenge Wedding surprise footage!   Where did I get it?   Hmmm, let's see.  What's hideous, creepy, and hanging around your neck, Carly?   Ding ding ding!   A spy cam!   I had find a way to keep my EVIL EYE on you to make sure you were eating pizza with Bobbie and not, how do I put this, full of SONNY'S PEPPERONI!   But wait!  There's more!   Michael, you're gonna want to see this, seeing as you're chomping at the bit to find AJ's killer.   Your MOM and SONNY had CRYPT SEX!  Think about it, Michael.  CRYPT.  SEX.   Why?   Because, let's let Sonny tell you himself.   Did you hear that?  HE KILLED AJ!   Mystery solved! 

Carly:  What the hell, Franco?   Just SHUT UP!  SHUT UP!   DON'T TALK TO MY CHOSEN SON LIKE THAT!!!  DON'T TALK TO MY CORN-DAUGHTER LIKE THAT!!!   Why are you doing this, Franco?   You don't have to defend me, Michael, but it will earn you more Chosen One points.   Where did you get that footage?   Do you have a spy cam in Michael's apartment?   AROUND MY NECK?   THAT'S WHAT THIS UGLY NECKLACE WAS FOR???   I should have known.   Michael, go home, you've seen enough!   Franco, you can hate me all you want, but please stop this video right now!   You promised NO VIDEOS AT THE WEDDING!    OMG, NO!  NO!  NO!  NO!

Michael:  Shut up, Franco!  Is this why you wanted me to be your best man, so you could ambush my mom and go all TMZ on her?   Hey, I'm glad she's sleeping with my dad.  Better my dad than YOU, Franco!    OF COURSE MY DAD'S A GREAT GUY!   No, mom, I want to hear what Franco's trying to say about AJ.  Wait, why would Dad and Ava have crypt sex by Dad AJ's grave?   WHAT THE---

Josslyn:  Mom, you're getting back together with Daddy?  Awesome!   Oh, uncle Sonny.   At least it's not FRANCO!    I can kick him if you want, Mom.

Scott:  Bobbie, did you, or did you not have pizza with Carly the night she slept with Sonny?

Brad, Lucas, Lucy, & Felix:  We're so outta here. 

Nina:   It's showtime, Ava.   Needle is ready to play.  (Plunges Needle of Badness #2 into Ava's arm).  I love a good syringe.   That's one thing my dear mother passed down to me, even if she did use one to put me in a 20 YEAR COMA!   Think, Nina, think.   You need towels, disinfectant, Jaws of Life, and oh yeah, ICE CHIPS!   I'll be back, Ava.  Don't move.  Hee hee!  As if!   Ava, Ava, Ava, you weren't trying to make a run--sorry, CRAWL, for it, were you?   Who's coming to your rescue?  Not Morgan.  Not Freaky Kiki, not SILAS!  It's just you, me, and MY BABY!   Awesome, Needle of Badness #1 is wearing off just as Needle of Badness #2 is kicking in.   LET'S HAVE A BABY!

Ava:  You're not sticking that thing in me, Nina.  You'll be caught.  Morgan should come back any minute, after he puts Sonny in a cage.   It's too soon for my baby to be born!   Good, I can move my foot.  Let's just slide off of this couch and crawl to the door before Nina Crazy-Pants comes back.  Good job, Ava.  Now scream HELP as if someone could actually hear me.   Hang in there, baby.   We're not going to let this psycho steal you from me.   Surely Silas has another Needle of Goodness on him.   Oh, crap, she's back and my uterus is doing the Harlem Shake again!

Silas:  Hey, lab tech, put a rush on this kid's blood tests.  What?  Who said no rushes?   Of course, Frau Frankenstein.   Obrecht, I need to talk to--Madeline?  What the hell are you doing here?  WHERE'S NINA???

Madeline:  Good to see you again too, Silas.  NOT!   I don't know where my sister is and I don't know where Nina is either.   Alright, alright, she came to me at James's apartment all upset and unhinged and I felt guilty for the 20 year coma thing and helped her.   She's...

Dr. O:  You will leave zis hospital today, Herr Doe!   Nurse Webber, I don't have ze time for your lovesick ramblings about your favorite patient.   I see you've been doodling on company time.   We are a hospital, not ze MetroCourt.   Herr Doe no longer needs treatment.  He is vell enough to make fun of me, so he is vell enough to be discharged.  Your bill is due in ten days, Herr Doe. 

Liz:  You can't discharge Jake yet.  He can barely walk.  He was exhausted just climbing the stairs.  What happened to all patients deserve to be treated?   Where is he going to go?  He has no money, no job, no last name.   But he sure is cute and reminds me of Jason!   Jake, you can come live with me!   It will be so much fun.  I will wait on you hand and foot and regale you day in and day out with stories about Jason.  Who knows, maybe it will jog your memory?

Jake:  Don't mind me, ladies.   I'm just a broke dude who can't pay $80 for a sponge bath.  Uhlizabeth, I appreciate you going to bat for me, but can we put the kibosh on the Jake is a weak, homeless, nameless schmuck talk?   It's bad for the recovery of my ego.   Move in with you?   Who am I, the English Patient? 

Anna:  Duke, were you with Sonny the night of AJ's murder or weren't you?  You can tell me the truth.  It's not like you're working for him anymore.   Okay, have it your way, but if it turns out Sonny's guilty, you're going down with him.

Duke:  Oh how I enjoy Emma!  She does love that candy, though.   I already told you, I was with Sonny the night of AJ's murder.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Sonny:  You see now why I have to kill Ava?   I have to honor Connie's memory, even though Ghost Connie showed up in the crypt--when was it, yesterday?--and told me not to.  So is Ava alone in the brownstone?  What was Silas doing with her?   Don't worry, I'll handle Silas.   We need to go get her and bring her back here.   Who's this Nina woman?   WHAT THE HELL?   Who got shot?

Morgan:  I know you are angry with Ava and want to kill her, but I still kinda like her, even though all she's done is lie to me.  I also kinda like this kid, whether it be my son, daughter, brother, sister, whatever.   I've been hiding her at the brownstone since you and Shawn tried to get her from the penthouse.  She was scared and had no place to go.   Silas is there with her.  She had some cramping because some nurse gave her bad pills and Silas gave her a needle of good medicine to stop the bad medicine.   You might wanna know that Silas's deranged wife is after Ava too.   WHAT WAS THAT?  Who got shot?