Carly and Sonny are in the slammer beating dead horses (poor Allegra!) and Dr. O's bidding good riddance to Jake. Oh, and a Fed shows up at Wyndemere.
SONNY: Michael hates me, Carly. I'm DEAD TO HIM, which is Corinthos for having been disowned. I don't blame him, seeing that I offed AJ but the pain and the angst of losing my CHOSEN SON are real, Carly. I don't care about being sent to P-ville, or that other son--what's his name--Morgan, still loves me. I LOST MICHAEL FOR GOOD!!! Carly, you have to stop blaming yourself for what Franco did and for what I did. I should have killed that bastard the moment he came back into town. Say WHAT? HE HAS THE BABY???
CARLY: Oh, Sonny! It's all MY FAULT that our FAVORITEST SON hates our guts. I wore that hideous spy cam around my neck! I convinced myself Franco was a changed man and the tumor made him do what he did before. EVERYONE warned me about Franco. Even LITTLE CORN GIRL!!! Even little corn girl! Everything went to hell in a handbasket when Jason died. I bought into the lie that Franco was Jason's twin and that he had a little sliver of Jason in him. No, he's 100% Franco! By the way, that freak has your daughter-or-granddaughter. God, I hope she's your daughter because if Morgan's the father, that means I'm a GRANDMOTHER, Sonny! A FREAKIN' GRANDMOTHER! I'd rather believe that baby was born out of your crypt sex with Ava than that I'm a GRANDMOTHER!
ALEXIS: Here's the deal, Duke. You either deliver Sonny's head on a stick or you're sharing a cellblock in Pentonville. Take it or leave it. Sorry, Lucy, but my client does not want to help himself. That's all I can say. Ever heard of attorney/client privilege? Didn't think so.
DUKE: I will NOT give up Sonny for freedom. There has to be some other way. On the other hand, bromance is in the air! I gave Sonny my word and in our world, your word is everything. Hello, Lucy. Thank you for having my back, but I'm kind of too busy having Sonny's back right now. WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT PEPPERONI???
LUCY: Anna! I need to see DUKE! You know, the good looking Scottish guy you dumped? Why can't I talk to him? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY? Oh, he's talking with Alexis. Ok, I'll just stay here and bug you until he's done, 'kay? Hi Dukie-pie! Did Alexis bust you out of here? No? Well I'm going to tag along to the arraignment and pester some sense into you.
NIK: Cattle trade. The Dow. Stocks and bonds. Verrry interesting. Good morning, Britt. Don't we look like an old married couple, all reading our print newspapers over breakfast? What has Obrecht done this time? I swear she and my grandmother used to be mahjong buddies. Let's go have some sex, shall we? Damn doorbell! Why did I ever let Alfred negotiate vacation time. So un-Cassadine of me. What can I do for you, Agent Sloane? Oh yeah, Victor. I didn't know ANYTHING about whatever crazy experiments he was up to in the WSB. Or the cryo-lab for that matter, unless he was trying to defrost my father for the 5,000th time. Is it true he defrosted grandmother too? Oh, it's BRITT you want to talk to. What have you done, Britt? Am I going to have to kick you out of Wyndemere and break Spencer's heart AGAIN?
BRITT: What's up in the financial world, Nikolas? Oh, crap, what has my mother done this time? Another scandal? Mother, mother, mother! Ok, let's hit the sheets. Or get the door. It's a Fed. Me? Is this about my...mother? Please don't let it be about the disappearing thing with Spencer. Oh, it's about Daddy Faison this time. I thought he was back at that German super-max. He's not? He's dead? Should I be sad or should I be scared? Commissioner Devane and Robin's dad killed him? What do I have to do?
AGENT SLOANE: Hello. I am agent Sloane. I have a few questions for you, Mr. Cassadine. It's about your late uncle Victor. He was up to no good as head of the WSB. Do you know anything of his dirty dealings? Dr. Westbourne, it has come to my attention that your father was killed by rogue WSB agents Anna Devane and Robert Scorpio. We need you to help throw the book at Devane. Scorpio is still MIA. However, there is a man who looks just like him a few soap towns away...
OBRECHT: Herr Doe! Vat aah you still doing here? I sought you were discharged last night? I see Nurse Webber is still super-glued to your hip. I trust you have spoken wiss Social Services and found a nice homeless shelter to to go? You aah taking in ze stray, Nurse Webber? Vy am I not surprised? I vill not miss your insolence, Herr Doe. You vill use ze Nina Chair to leave zis hospital. Ve can't have you getting injured and suing us. Anna Devane, mortal enemy of mine! Vatch vere you aah going!
JAKE DOE: I'm still here, Dr. O. And you're still a German battleax. Chill, doc! I'm on my way out. I'm going home to be Uhlizabeth's English Patient. Check out this awesome cane! Bye, Dr. O. What, the Nina Chair again? I liked my cane better. Hey, whoa, back up the bus. Who's that dude? And that old guy? And the old lady? It's that old deja vu feeling again. It's really creepy. Am I a Nicklemaine--I mean a Quartermaine? I feel like that name fits. Nah, I'm just some random stranger in a Nina Chair. I'll stick with Doe for now. Nice digs, Uhlizabeth. What do we have here? The guy in that picture looks like a Jason.
LIZ: Relax, Dr. O. We're on our way out. We're turning in the release papers right now. He's coming home with me. Why? Um, in case you haven't noticed, Dr. O, I'm in lurve with him! Let's get out of here, Jake. My boys can't wait to meet you. You recognize him? He's Alan Quartermaine. He was Chief of Staff here once upon a time. Way better at it than Obrecht. He died a few years ago. That's Edward, his dad and Lila, his mom. They died too. We're home!
KIKI: Michael! What the hell are you doing with Rooosalieeee? You're MY boyfriend, not HERS! Go away, ROOOOSALIEEEE! Get out of MY BOYFRIEND'S bed! Michael, I know I lied to you about everything including Santa Claus, but I STILL LOOOOVE YOU!!! YOU HAVE TO TAKE ME BACK PUH-PUH-PUH-LEASE!!! You can't throw away what WE HAD just because I lie like a rug! OH MIIICHAAAEELL!
MICHAEL: What does it LOOK like I'm doing, KIKI? I'm having SEX with ROSALIE and I wanted to KEEP HAVING SEX with ROSALIE but YOUR DEAD-TO-ME ASS came barging into MY APARTMENT instead! You're a liar. You lied about everything, now you made Rosalie disappear. WE'RE DONE, KIKI! How many ways do I have to say it? YOU'RE DEAD TO ME. GO BACK TO MY EX-BROTHER MORGAN. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. HELLO, EX-FATHER. HELLO, EX-MOTHER. How's life in the hoosegow?
ROSALIE: I gotta go. Sorry about all this drama, Kiki. You guys need to talk.
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