Revenge Wedding Part IV/Nina's Diabolical Delivery Part II

Things came to a head (and a hoof?) today in The Chuckles.  Carly faced the wrath of Michael, Nina was the midwife from hell, and Heather had a nasty trick for poor Max.   Buckle up, cuz the ride's going to be extra-bumpy today.

 Michael:  I am speechless.  No, I'm not speechless.  I AM PISSED LIKE I'VE NEVER BEEN PISSED BEFORE!   Mom, you KNEW ALL ALONG THAT DAD KILLED AJ?   Wait, so AJ didn't even mention me on his deathbed.  He just said that Sonny shot him.   MOM, YOU LIED TO ME while you comforted me at AJ's funeral.  YOU LIED TO ME when I was searching for AJ's killer.   AJ was right about you and dad all along!   HE WAS MY ONLY REAL PARENT!   YOU AND SONNY ARE "DEAD TO ME"!!!! 

 Carly:  Michael, don't you see, this is just one of Franco's mind games.  I thought he had changed and all that stuff before was because of the tumor, but I was wrong!   I LIED TO PROTECT YOU!!!   You had already lost one parent and I couldn't bear to see you lose another one AND I couldn't bear to lose my FAVORITE SON!    Michael, Sonny and I are your parents and we love you!   MICHAEL!   MI-I-I-CHAEL!!!!

 Franco:  You see, Michael!  Your beloved mama Carly has been lying to you all along.  I didn't have to tell you the truth about what happened to AJ.   IT CAME STRAIGHT FROM THE WHOR-SE'S MOUTH!!!   Man, am I hilarious!   This is no trick.   This is no mind game.  Dad Sonny shot Dad AJ and Mom Carly helped cover it all up.   This imaginary popcorn is delicious!  

 Nina:  It's time, Ava.   It's time to deliver MY BABY.   You know I am eminently qualified to deliver a baby.  I've done this before.   When I was 13, Allegra was giving birth and making all sorts of inhuman noises.   Do you know why these noises were so inhuman, Ava?   It's because the baby's hoof was caught in the birth canal.   YES HOOF!  ALLEGRA WAS A HORSE!   If I can birth a horse baby--a foal--I can birth a human baby.  When I pulled that foal out of Allegra, I SAW GOD!   Keep pushing, Ava.  No, I don't have any needles left.  Big Pharma has come and gone, sister!   I'm not going ANYWHERE until MY BABY is born!   One more big push!   IT'S A GIRL!!!!  I HAVE A BABY GIRL!!!   ISN'T SHE BEEYOOTEEFUL, AVA???   No, you can't hold her.  SHE'S MINE!!!  Here's my ride.  Look, Mommy.  You're a grandmother now.   What shall I name her?   Nina, Jr.?  Zyrtec?  Decisions, decisions.   I just want to hold MY BABY!!!   SHE'S MINE and she's already 4 months old! 

 Ava:  How are you qualified to deliver my baby?   You're not a doctor.   I need SILAS!!!  Call Silas, please, Nina.   A HOOF?   Go figure!   AAAAAHHHH!!!  I need pain meds, Nina.   Go get me some pain meds!    I'm too tired to push!   Too...tired!   AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!   It's my baby!   She's a girl!  Another daugther!   Can I hold her?   She needs to hear my heartbeat.  Can I hold her?   Please, Nina!  You can't just take MY BABY!!! 

Madeline:  I took care of Silas, Leisl.  I sent him on a wild goose chase.   YOU are hardly in a position to judge what Nina and I were doing with your prescription pad, you mad scientist you!  Maybe I should just start calling you Dr. Frankenstein!   What Nina and I do is none of your beeswax!   Nina, pick up the damn phone!   Silas is on the loose.  I sent him to James's apartment, but it's only a matter of time before he comes looking for you or Ava.   Well, thank God, you finally got that baby out of Ava.  Now we have to get out of dodge before you-know-who catches us.  We can name the kid later. 

Dr. O:  Magda, vat have you and Nina been up to?   Vere is my prescription pad?   Vat kind of prescriptions have you been writing in my name, Magda?   Sleeping pills for Nina?  I don't sink so!   Mr. Corinsos, Mr. Giambetti vas shot in ze upper sorax.   It is ze price he has to pay for working for a mobster like you, Mr. Corinsos.   Nassan, my dear son.  Dr. Clay.   Magda vas here, zen I had to talk to a patient, zen she was gone.   Nina is up to no good.  You must find her and stop her before she does somesing very bad.  

Silas:  Nina, open up or I'm going to kick this door down and sic the guys in white coats on you.  Oh, hi Detective West.  Where's Nina?   Madeline said she would be here, but then again, consider the source.   We have to go find her and get her some help.  She's on a rampage and I have a hunch for who she's after.  Obrecht, where's Nina?

Nathan:  Nina's not here, Dr. Clay.  I'm afraid she's out doing something violent.   We have to find her.  Hello biological mother.  Where's my sister-cousin? 

Heather:  Trick or treat, Max!  I think I'll go with trick! (shoots Max, takes lollipop, and leaves).  I'm back and you'd better have dreamed up some BLTs for me.  You don't have any?   All this time I was sending a message to Sonny and you couldn't conjure up one measly sandwich?   Oh well, I guess that means I'll have to shoot the both of you. 

 Shawn:  Jordan, why did you come looking for me?   I had to not kill Franco because of you.   Of course I lied to the boss and said the deed was done.   How did Heather get the drop on you?   She's back and she's hungry.  I'm guessing it's for blood this time.   Take me, Heather.  Leave Jordan alone.  She has a beloved son just like you!

Jordan:  I had to find you to stop you from telling TJ about Tommy.   For a woman who lives on BLTs she has some Jedi moves.   Speak of the devil...

Sonny:  Max!  Hang on, Max!  Help is coming.  WHO SHOT YOU?   You can recover on the special island if you tell me who shot you.   How is he, Doc?   Yes, I know he was shot in the chest.   Is he going to live?   I know Ava did this, Morgan.   He said it was a woman who shot him and that means it has to be Ava.

Morgan:  Max!   Dad, don't make him talk now.   Well, duh, German doc!  Of course we know he got shot in the chest.   Is he going to make it?   Dad, I know Ava is a liar and a murderer, but she was scared of you.  She wasn't going to risk going to your house.   Plus, she's kinda heavily preggers right now.