Generally Confused

Just who is this faux Luke?   Is it Larry Ashton?  Is it Faison?  Is it this guy Julian was talking about?  

 LUKE:  So, Evil Twin--can I call you E.T.?--who the hell are you anyway?   You certainly ain't me.   Are you that bozo Larry Ashton that you claim you and Jerry Jacks sent to Tracy instead of me?   Come on, E.T. everyone knows that plastic surgery is rampant in The Chuckles.   Hell, my own son looked like this one kid, was captured by Helena, then came back looking completely different.   He turned into another guy a few years later, and then back into an older version of the kid who was captured?  My daughter's had a couple of faces as well.   Helena herself looked like Elizabeth Taylor eons ago and now she's thinner, blonde, and about four inches taller!   There's also the high-tech mask route that Faison used to pretend he was Duke.  He even fooled Anna!    So tell me, ET, are you Ashton or what?   Son of a bitch!  He locked me in the padded cell and took off again.   DAMMIT!  

EVIL TWIN (Can't do "Fluke" because it reminds me of a nauseating GH pairing from the early 2000s):   Not so fast, Spencer!   I gotta gun and you...don't.   Though I must say you're a lot more lucid than the last time I saw you.  Who am I?  I'm you!   I've .living La Vida Luke.   I had to disappear for awhile and your wife started getting antsy so Jerry and I played a little trick on her and sent her "her husband" for ELQ shares.   We just didn't specify WHICH ONE!   Isn't that hilarious?   We sent "Lord" Larry Ashton instead.   Me?  Ashton?  Surely you jest!   I look like YOU, or is your eyesight failing you?   A mask?   Now that's gonna give Jerry and me a lot of laughs.    Sorry, gotta go.  You're gonna hang out here or Original Recipe Luke is going BANG BANG. 

 TRACY:   OMG, what's TAKING PATRICK AND SAM SO LONG!    Come on, Sam, I could crack open a safe faster than you.   WHERE IS LUKE???   What does FAISON have to do with any of this?   Well, plug your damn phone into the computer and let's see what's on the flash drive!   Is that a mask?   Of LUKE?  

  LULU:   Sam, what does any of this have to do with my father?   OMG, it's a blueprint for a mask!   Who are they making a mask of?   It's just a blue head.   So Larry Ashton wants to join the Blue Man Group? 

  PATRICK:  We got there in time to get into the safe deposit box and open it, but there was a lockbox inside.  Then Larry showed up and we had to go hide behind a wall.   When he left, we went back in.  

  SAM:  I couldn't get the lock box open before Larry came.  Tracy, could you hold your tongue for TWO SECONDS and let me explain?  Once Larry left, we went back in and found a picture of Faison in the lockbox and a flash drive.   I copied the drive onto my phone.  (connects phone to laptop) Here goes.  

  MOLLY:  Hi TJ.  What's wrong?   OMG, really?   So is Shawn your father?   Hey, TJ, your dad was a good guy.  I know it's hard when people are saying that he did bad things.  That happened with my dad too, remember.   But your dad wasn't himself when he attacked Shawn.   Remember him for the great dad he was.   Hi Shawn.   I guess you can come in.   TJ, go with Shawn.  I have to study-slash-re-read my dad's letter.  I love you.   

 TJ:  Molly, thank God you're home.  I need a shoulder to cry on.   Ok, that's out of my system.  My mom cheated on my dad with Shawn.  No, I'm not Shawn's kid.  Mom had a DNA test done.   But when Dad found out what Shawn did, he attacked him and Shawn had to shoot him to defend himself and that's when Dad died.  It wasn't about a tragic accident.  Dad didn't die a hero.  He died because he went all psycho and flew into a jealous rage.  Mom and Shawn DESTROYED my memory of my dad just to ease their consciences.   I can't even look Shawn in the eye now because he ruined my Dad's life before he killed him.   Shawn?   Sorry Shawn.  Molly and I were going to hang out.   Fine, Shawn.  Let's go.

SHAWN:  Still haven't found Ava's baby.  Look, Jordan, we did what we had to do.  TJ will come around.   He's a strong kid.   Maybe if I talk to him a little, I can get things back on track and make it easier for you.   Molly?   May I come in.   TJ, I know you're still pissed at me.  Can we go somewhere and talk about it?   Thanks, Molly, for having my back.  

 JORDAN:  I know Ava killed Connie Falconeri, whoever she was, but I could empathize with her as a woman.   She was scared for her life and her baby's.   Now, I think I've lost TJ FOREVER!   Bob?  What are you doing here?   Look, I know it's taking a long time to find Jerome's boss, but I got a little sidetracked.  Undercover work takes time, Bob.  Patience is a virtue.   Besides, I want to tell my son that I'm not really a drug dealer.  

 BOB:  We'd better hide because if someone sees you, you're toast.   What's taking so damn long?   You've had MONTHS to figure out who Jerome's boss is.   There's a guy in Witness Protection who is waiting for this to be resolved so he can come home.  

 ANNA:   What do you mean, Faison's not down there?  He HAS TO BE!   How could he have escaped.  When I last saw him a year ago...LET GO OF ME OBRECHT!   (Catching her breath)  There was a stable hand who was reporting to Robert on Faison.  Ask him.   Stable hand guy, why have you been filing false reports on Faison to Robert?  

 OBRECHT:   HE IS NOT ZERE!  ICH ZEITGEIST LIEBFRAUMILCH BUNDCHEN!   I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ANNA DEVANE!   A YEAR AGO?   A WHOLE YEAR!  (lunges toward Anna and puts her hands around Anna's neck)   ICH TANNENBAUM VERKLEMPT HEFEWEISEN!  

 AGENT SLOANE:  So where IS Faison, Commissioner?   When did you last see him?   May we speak to this stable hand?   We're not finished, Anna.   

 STABLE HAND:  Yes, I've been filing false reports to Robert.  For the past year.   What's it to you?  By the way, German lady, what does Ich Var Eine Berliner really mean? 

 NIKOLAS:  I had a stable hand who was helping hide Faison?  Why wasn't I informed of this?

 JULIAN:  Okay, Alexis, here's the story:  When I was in the Witness Protection Program, I met this guy Peter somethingorother.  But that wasn't his real name.   It turns out he looks just like a guy in The Chuckles.  This guy wanted to help me rebuild the Jerome name and for that, we had to take this town away from Sonny.   The guy's a dead ringer for Luke Spencer, so he just assumed Luke's identity and made sure Luke was stashed away in an undisclosed location.  That ersatz Luke is my boss.  He ordered the hit on Lucas when I tried to cut my ties and go legit.   So I had to go back into the mob or he would keep going after my family.  He needed a fall guy and so we set up Ric.   I had no choice.  It was either find a fall guy or watch him off my family one by one.   Please, Alexis!  I was backed into a corner here.   If you let me out of the clink, I'll take you right to my boss. 

 ALEXIS:  Slow down, Julian.  So there are two Lukes.   How did this "friend" of yours happen to look like Luke?   If he's not Luke, then WHO IS HE?   WHAT?  YOU SET RIC UP?   YOU TOOK MOLLY'S FATHER WAY FROM HIM????   Maybe you didn't have him killed directly but would it have been any better if he had been left to rot in jail for a crime he didn't commit?  You FRAMED AN INNOCENT MAN, JULIAN!   Don't you DARE use my family as an excuse.  There is ALWAYS A CHOICE.    So if I get the charges dropped, you will show me this imitation, genetically altered Luke?  

 FAISON:  (smoking his cigarillo)  I's ALIIIIVE!!!!  And I's not in no hole in Wyndemere.