What the...?

  Today's episode came completely out of left field and featured randomness, disturbing Levi flashbacks, and Prince Nikolas burnin' ballots for his where-did-this-come-from buddy Battleax Lomax.  For the first few minutes of the episode, I actually thought I was watching a repeat.    So here goes: 

  MAXIE:  Get out of my head, stupid Levi flashbacks where I was wearing hideous hippie clothes!   GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY!   You're having sizzling hot sex with Nathan now, Maxie.  Keep your head in the game!   Mom, what is this all about?  Why is Mayor Lomax accusing you of election tampering?   If it's about putting those posters up on the pier without a permit, I'm soooo sorry!    

 NATHAN:  Maxie!  Maxie, stop having Levi flashbacks.  You're past that now.  You're with me and Levi was never Levi to begin with and now he's dead by his own weapon.   Maybe if we have more sex, you'll get that phony new-age jewel thief out of your head.   Wait, what's this about the missing ballot box at Wyndemere?   Spencer, buddy, nine years old is a little young to start a rap sheet, so just tell us what happened with the ballot box and how it ended up in your toy chest.   For what it's worth, Felicia, I voted for you.   Being the mother of the woman of my dreams may have had a little to do with it, but you would have made a great mayor. 

 NIKOLAS:  So, Lulu, you came all the way over to Wyndemere to discuss preschool?   Of course, had I sent Spencer to preschool to become socialized, maybe I'd have a more obedient and less spoiled rotten entitled nine-year-old, but I'm kinda busy right now trying to hide a ballot box.   Dante, Nathan, go ahead and arrest me.   Spencer, what are you doing?  Seriously, have you thought of trying out for the drama club at school?   Congratulations, Mayor Lomax.  Roasting those ballots as we speak.

  SPENCER:  DON'T ARREST DADDY!   It was all my fault.  I stole the ballot box but I didn't know it was a ballot box.   My grand-my babysitter thought I went to bed so she left and I bribed my driver into taking me to the pier to watch the fireworks.  I saw this man who looked like an action hero and this woman with curly black hair toss this box into the water and they mentioned Uncle Sonny's name.  I thought that box could get Uncle Sonny into trouble so I had Chandler fish it out of the water and I could keep it until Uncle Sonny got out of jail.   I have no idea what is in that box.   Am I grounded for eternity?  

 SLOANE:  If it isn't my favorite target.   I have a search warrant here to search Wyndemere.   It looks like your friend, Felicia Jones, whose ex-husband happens to be the new head of the WSB, has gotten herself into trouble.  Election tampering.  There is a missing ballot box we believe is in the possession of her biggest campaign contributor, Nikolas Cassadine.  I would be honored to become the new police commissioner, Mayor Lomax.   Whodathunk Cassadine would end up in our corner, roasting those ballots for Ms. Scorpio Jones in his cozy fireplace at Wyndemere.

 ANNA:  You can't seem to stay away from me, can you, Sloane?   I thought the head of the WSB ordered you to drop your investigation?   Now this is a doozy:  you're investigating Felicia Scorpio-Jones for election tampering?   On what grounds?   And what does Nikolas Cassadine have to do with any of this?    As much as it pains me to say it, congratulations, Mayor Lomax.   You're FIRING ME?   Good thing I have an attorney three feet away from me who can fight this!   Alexis, you're hired.  

 LOMAX:  What we have here is election tampering!   Felicia Scorpio-Jones stole one of the ballot boxes, the one from Elm Street, otherwise known as Lomax Territory.   Or maybe it wasn't Felicia herself, but her biggest campaign contributor, Nikolas Cassadine.   Ha ha!   I won!  I won!   Buh-BYE, Felicia!   First order of business:  Firing YOU, Anna Devane!   You walked on the wrong side of the law when you hid Cesar Faison in that hole and I can't have those kinds of shenanigans tainting MY office!   The next police commissioner of Port Charles will be Special Agent Kyle Sloane!   Thank You Nikolas Cassadine!  

JORDAN:  I can't believe we did that, Shawn.   We tampered with an ELECTION!   All those poor people on Elm Street have been ROBBED of their voice!   Psst, Dante!   Shawn dropped the ballot box in the harbor.   I mean, Shawn and I had NOTHING to do with that missing ballot box.  

SHAWN:  So we tampered with an election.  It's the price of admission into the organization.  You wanted in and you proved your loyalty by helping me bury the ballot box.  It's not like some nine-year-old kid who was up way past his bedtime saw us throw it in the harbor.   Jeez, Jordan, you can be so paranoid.  It can really put a damper on sexy time.

LUCY:  Thanks for covering from me, Duke, even though you knew I stole the ballot box.  On the night of the election, when it all hit the fan on the Haunted Star and you got cuffed, I was beside myself.  These two cops were in a hurry to chase after Franco and Nina so they HANDED me the ballot box.  I hid it in my car for TWO MONTHS because I knew those votes would seal the election for that Battleax Lomax and the guilt drove me BANANAS so you bailed me out and hid it in your car.  I could be in so much trouble if this is all traced back to me.  

DUKE:  Of course I covered for you, Lucy.  I will always protect you.  Anna has ditched me on her hypocritical moral grounds, but you accept what I do for a living and you have taken my mind off of losing Anna.   So I had Shawn get Jordan to help him dispose of the ballot box, to prove her loyalty to the organization.  

DANTE:  Hey, Spencer, election tampering is serious business, kiddo.  Why did you take that ballot box?   You didn't know it was a ballot box?  What did you think was in it?  Action figures?   Stuffed animals?   So this was all for Uncle Sonny.  I hate to break this to you, kid, but Uncle Sonny's going to be in jail for a long time.  

LULU:  Nikolas, did I come at a bad time?  I need your advice on preschools for Rocco.  I know you never sent Spencer to preschool but these applications for private preschools are INSANE!   What three year old knows their multiplication tables and how to diagram sentences?   Dante?  Nathan? What's this all about?   Nikolas, why do you have a ballot box on your coffee table?   Spencer, honey, stealing ballot boxes is not a good thing.   Nikolas, see what happens when you don't send your kid to preschool!   

FELICIA:  Election tampering?   I would NEVER do such a thing!   Neither would anyone who helped me in my campaign.  This accusation is ridiculous!    It looks like you won the election fair and square, Mayor Lomax.  Congratulations.  

MAC:  Felicia would never do this!   Who is behind this nonsense?   I oughta punch that person!