Housewarming

   Julian has a big and beautiful surprise for Alexis.  Brad seeks Alexis's legal advice as he hands over the DNA results on Baby Uncle Leo's binky.  Sonny has unrealistic expectations for his recovery and balks when Patrick attempts to give him a reality check.  Anna has a session with the hospital's resident shrink Kevin Collins.  Lulu kicks Dillon's movie production off the Haunted Star.  Olivia tells Dante that she and Ned are over. 

     HOSPITAL

     BRAD:  Here are the results of Operation Binky Grab.  Kinda badass of you to snatch a binky right out of a baby's mouth. 
     ALEXIS:  BWAHAHAHAHAHA!   I didn't have to.  The binky was left on the bar counter.   It was too easy, really.  
     BRAD:  So can you get me divorced from Rosalie without going to jail for a crime I'm not ready to tell you about yet? 
     ALEXIS:  I can see not wanting to talk about it in a public place like this, but you're going to have to tell me what you did so I can free you from Rosalie. 

     
     HAUNTED STAR

      DILLON:  What's with the fake spiders and Halloween crap on my set? 
      LULU:  It's MY GODDAMN BOAT and I'm kicking YOUR STUPID MOVIE out of here.  
      MAXIE:  Hey, watch it, Lulu!  My ACTING CAREER is tied to his stupid movie.  No offense, Dillon.  
      DILLON:  This is because I declared my unrequited love to you and kissed you, isn't it?  I told you I was sorry. 
      LULU:  No, it's because you trash-talked my husband.   AND came on to me.  AND kissed me.  Go get your Tarantino on somewhere else.
      DILLON:  But I'm BROKE!
      MAXIE:  HELLO!   What's your last name again?  
      DILLON:  I'm not groveling for more Q cash for this movie, okay. 
      MAXIE:  Fine, then crowdfund it on the interwebs and turn the Halloween party here into a benefit.  Lulu would be happy to do that, right bestie? 
      LULU:  I don't think so. 
      MAXIE:  Don't do this for Dillon.   Do it for ME!  Your best friend in the ENTIRE WORLD!  
     
    
      HOSPITAL
  
      SONNY:  I'm itchin' to get outta this hospital bed, Max.  Getting a little stir crazy in here.  
      MAX:  Brought you some wedding cannolis.  Maybe these'll cheer you up. 
      SONNY:  So who went rogue and offed Rrrrrrriverrrrrrra?
      MAX:  I'll get on it.  
      SONNY:  Thanks, Max.   Oh, here's the doc to spring me from this joint.
      PATRICK:  No can do, I'm afraid.  
      SONNY:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAT?    I gotta get outta here, Patrick!   I've got business to do.  Coffee to sell.   Daughters to get back from female mobsters.  I can't do this while I'm stuck in here with wires all up in my personal space.  
      PATRICK:  If I send you home today, you could have another seizure and die.
      SONNY:  Or I could learn how to walk and become a whole man again.  That can't happen while I'm stuck in here chained to a hospital bed.  

     
       JULIAN:  Hey there, Lucas.  How goes it with your wedding plans?  
       LUCAS:  As soon as Brad can get himself out from under Rosalie, we're good to go.
       JULIAN:  Well, that's great news, son.  I just want my kids to be happy.  I know somewhere up there in the heavens, your baby brother is smiling down on us.
       LUCAS:  I really like this mob-free, enlightened version of you, Dad.  

     
       KEVIN COLLINS' OFFICE

      KEVIN:  Anna!  Long time, no see.   So sorry about Duke.
     ANNA:  Thank you, Kevin.   I'm here because I keep seeing a ghost.
     KEVIN:  Is it Duke's ghost?  If so, give him my best.
     ANNA:  It's not Duke.  It's Carrrrrrrrrrrlos.  The man who murdered Duke.   The man who I...never mind.
     KEVIN:  You can tell me, Anna.  Doctor-patient confidentiality, you know.
     ANNA:  I can't go two seconds without hearing gunshots and rolled R's.  Carlos is stalking me from the afterlife and now I'm a crazy person and I HATE IT, Kevin.  I HATE IT!  
     KEVIN:  Here are some sleeping pills.  Take some of these and call me in the morning.  

   
      DANTE & LULU'S APARTMENT

      OLIVIA:  Ned dumped me, Dante.   He didn't want to be part of my web of lies about Leo.  
      DANTE:  I'm sorry, Ma.   Where is Leo?   Hopefully nowhere near Julian. 
      OLIVIA:  Leo is safe.  But for how long.  I mean, Alexis seemed awfully suspicious the other day when I had him with me.   I'm not sure she bought the Mateo story.  By the way, one of his binkies is missing. 
      DANTE:  Do you think it's safe to have him in The Chuckles?  
      OLIVIA:  That's where my life is, Dante.  It's where my family is.  Speaking of family, you look tense.  How are things with you and Lulu? 
      DANTE:  Well, things were rocky for awhile but we're going to have another baby and I hope that will fix a lot of what's broken between us.  

     
      HOSPITAL

      JULIAN:  (over phone)  Is it done?   I need to know if it's done.   Thank you.
      ALEXIS:  Please tell me I didn't hear mob-speak from your end of that conversation. 
      JULIAN:  Want to find out what I was talking about?   Come with me.  


      ALEXIS'S NEW HOUSE

      JULIAN:  Remember how your old lake house blew up because of me?    I got you a new one, but with a pool instead of a lake. 
     ALEXIS:  This house is MINE?  
     JULIAN:  Damn straight it is!   And I'm about to throw you a housewarming party.