I Need A Brain Surgeon

    Laura's surprise visit to the Drake household makes her the first to know that Sam and Patrick are engaged.  Spilling the beans about Jason suddenly looks a lot more dicey, so Laura comes up with another reason to head straight to the Drakes from the airport.   Liz gets increasingly nervous as Jake describes his experience at Noodle Buddha with Sam.  Hayden is freaked by Nikolas's controlling ways.  Anna's conscience gnaws at her when Emma picks her as the subject of her hero essay.   Tracy is unnerved by Michael's newfound devotion to Sonny.  Franco rescues Kiki from a creeper at The Floating Rib

     PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE

      SAM:  Laura?   OMG, you're mad I'm on the outs with Nikolas, aren't you?  
      LAURA:  PFFFFFT!   Nikolas has been a bad boy lately.  My next stop is Wyndemere to give him a spanking.  
       SAM:  You tell him, Laura!  So when did you get back in town? 
       LAURA:  About 5 minutes ago.  You're my first stop after the airport. 
       PATRICK:  We're honored, especially since we're not related, unless I missed something.  
       SAM:  Patrick and I just got engaged.  See my ring...pop!  
       LAURA:  You're engaged!   I have a knack for crashing engagement parties.   This won't take long.  I need a brain surgeon.  Well, maybe not a surgeon, but any neurologist will do.   Anyone who can keep me from going catatonic at any given moment. 
       PATRICK:  I think something can be arranged. 

     
    OUTSIDE KELLY'S

      EMMA:  Can you help me with my homework, Grandma?  I have to write an essay on my hero and I chose you.
      ANNA:  Me?  What about your brain surgeon father?  
      EMMA:  I love Daddy and all, but he's kinda boring, just fixing brains all day.  You get to shoot guns and fight the bad guys.   You were a spy AND a cop.  
      ANNA:  But I can't cook to save my life!   What else am I utterly atrocious at...? 
     
     WYNDEMERE

        NIKOLAS:  Step AWAY from the laptop, Hayden.  I don't want you reading some tabloid run by a mobster. 
        HAYDEN:  Controlling much?  I don't tell you what you can't read!  Besides, I'm trying to figure out what the hell it is I can't remember.  
        NIKOLAS:  There is no need to remember anything. 
        HAYDEN:  Why do you care what I remember?   Are you afraid I'll spill one of your SECRETS? 
       NIKOLAS:  Just shut up and go swimming with me. 
       HAYDEN:  Screw swimming!  It's friggin' October!  

    INSIDE KELLY'S

     JAKE:  Funny thing happened to me at Noodle Buddha.  Some old Chinese lady thought I was Jason.  Granted, she was blind, but after Sonny thinking the same thing, I'm a little spooked. 
     LIZ:  How many times do I have to tell you?  Sonny was hopped up on MORPHINE!  As for the Chinese lady, you said it yourself: She was BLIND!  
     JAKE:  Excuse me for thinking something Twilight Zone is going on in this town.  
     LIZ:  (to herself)  This is not good.  This is not good.  I have to keep him away from Sam if it means chaining him to my bed.  

    Q MANSION

      MICHAEL:  Hey, Hornsby, any progress on hunting down Carrrrrrlos Rrrrrrrrriverrrrrra?
      PAUL:  Nothing yet, but we won't rest until we bring him to justice. 
      TRACY:  Am I missing something here?  Since when is finding a MOBSTER'S shooter the top priority in this town?
      MICHAEL:  Since said mobster is my father.
      TRACY:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAT?   He may not have been at top of my list, but AJ QUARTERMAINE was your father and SONNY killed him.   Where's all that righteous anti-Corinthos indignation I have come to love?  
      MICHAEL:  You can thank Carrrrrrlos for that, Tracy.  Once he fired that shot, Sonny instantly became my dad again.  

     OUTSIDE KELLY'S

    SABRINA:  Anna, I have some questions for you about Carrrrrrrrlos.   Why is he being accused of shooting Sonny?   If he was back in town, he would have called me or texted me or made me hide him.
    ANNA:  Maybe he wanted to slip in and out of town completely undetected.   Carrrrrlos moves in mysterious ways.
    SABRINA:  But I'm the ex-girlfriend he's still hung up on.   I would have heard from him.  

     INSIDE KELLY'S

    LIZ:  (over phone) Hayden?  What do YOU want?  
    HAYDEN:  Why did I throw a temper tantrum back in, what was it, May, and destroy one of Nikolas's priceless Russian vases? 
   LIZ: (to herself)  CRAP!  She starting to remember stuff!  Must. Shut. Her. Down.  (to Hayden) What vase? 
   HAYDEN:  Hello, Elizabeth!  I'M the one with amnesia here!   You were THERE and you saw me throw that vase.   What was I so pissed off about?  
   NIKOLAS:  You don't have to answer that, Liz.  I'll keep Hayden in line.   Bye. 
  
   WYNDEMERE

   HAYDEN:  NOW you're bugging my phone calls?   What the hell, Nikolas?  
   NIKOLAS:  Just shut up and have sex with me.  

   FLOATING RIB

   KIKI:  Hey, dude, back the hell off!  
   FRANCO:  Hey kid!  Don't mess with my daughter or you'll have to find out how I once was a serial killer. 
   KIKI:  THAT went well.
   FRANCO:  You're coming with me, Kiki.   You me and Nina, we'll all go back home and play a game of Scattergories and forget this ever happened.  
    KIKI:  I'm not going anywhere with you and your psycho girlfriend whose murderous mother killed my dad.  

   PATRICK AND SAM'S HOUSE

    PATRICK:  We have an announcement to make.  
    EMMA:  And I have some COOKIES!  
    DANNY:  I want a cookie!  
    SAM:  As soon as Patrick and I tell you we're GETTING MARRIED!
    EMMA:  YAY!!!!!
    DANNY:  Cookie time!  

    SILAS'S APARTMENT

     KIKI:  So I lied about my job so you wouldn't feel sorry for poor Kiki, whose dad is dead and whose mom banged my boyfriend.   I'm all alone in this crazy world with no place to go. 
     FRANCO:  You're not all alone.  You have your fake dad, yours truly.   I mean, I thought you were my kid for two decades.  That has to count for something.   How's about you, me, and Nina live in this house together like a happy family. 
     NINA:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAT?  

    Q MANSION

    SABRINA:  I come bearing cookies! 
    MICHAEL:  Sabrina, you're the best girlfriend ever!   
    SABRINA:  What's up with Tracy?  
    MICHAEL:  She's upset that I've switched to Team Corinthos.