Find Ze Baby NOW!

  Obrecht is back!   How I've missed her and that German accent!  It appears that Silas doesn't have Crypt Baby either.   But he does have Ava's Kevorkian drugs.  Olivia is fed up with Julian's show of concern for her and the bun in her oven.   Ned asks Michael to step down from ELQ and it's an understatement to say that didn't go well.   Luke and Sonny clear the air.   Beside herself with worry over Avery, Kiki regrets what she and Morgan did to Michael.    Franco tries to reconcile with a distant Nina.

   HOSPITAL

   REPORTERS:  Where's the damn baby, Dr. Obrecht?  Who leaves a child unattended in an exam room?   Do security cameras exist in this hospital?
   LIESL:  Ze answers vill be in ze press release.

    SECRET GREEN ROOM OF DEATH

     SILAS:  Avery is missing?  She was there when I left her alone in the exam room.
     KIKI: (over the phone) Do you think your whackjob ex-wife took her?
     SILAS:  Nina?   I'd like to think her crazy is cured.
     KIKI:  It could have been Michael.  At least Morgan thinks so.
     SILAS:  Color me skeptical.  He can't win back custody of her if he goes and kidnaps her.
     KIKI:  Then WHO HAS HER, Dad?
  
     FRANCO & NINA'S SUITE

     FRANCO:  Nina, hop on the table.  It's couples massage time!
     NINA:  But we're so not a couple.  You don't trust me.
     FRANCO:  Sorry, Sven.  Nina's not up for the shiatsu today.  She's in a mood.
     NINA:  Screw you, Franco!  You still think I took that baby.

      METROCOURT

      JULIAN:  Any news on the baby front?
      OLIVIA:  Julian, how many times do I have to tell you (fingers crossed behind back) YOU'RE NOT THE FATHER.  You're not my OB either, so nonnayadamnbizness.
       JULIAN:  I was talking about my niece, Olivia.  It's not always about your bun in the oven.
       OLIVIA:  Avery?  Half the town is looking for her.   I guess the best thing about being preggers is that you always know where your baby is.
        JULIAN:  Rumor has it, one of your guests may have snatched her.  One who has a history of snatching that very same baby.   Does the name Nina Clay ring a bell?
        OLIVIA:  Again beating the Franco and Nina horse.  Come on, Julian, don't you have any original material?  Why don't you go somewhere away from me and think some up.  This concern-trolling is getting really old. 
         JULIAN:  Just don't sleep on those two going after your baby to get to Ned.
         

      LUKE'S HOSPITAL ROOM
 
     TRACY:  So, your transfer to the funny farm has been arranged and you will get the help you so desperately need to remove Fluke from your brain once and for all.
     LUKE: Okay, whatever.
     SONNY:   Luke, you rang?
     TRACY:  YOU asked Sonny here?   You really don't have to be such a glutton for punishment, Luke.

       Q MANSION

     NED:  Michael, you're sorta kinda fired as CEO of ELQ.  At least temporarily.
     MICHAEL: You're firing me because AJ got kidnapped?
     NED:  The drunken scene at the MetroCourt that had AJ removed from your custody didn't help.
     ALEXIS:  Here are the papers you need to sign, Michael.
     MICHAEL:  So who's going to be CEO now?
     NED:  That would be me.
     MICHAEL:  You backstabbing son of a bitch!
     NED:  It's for your own good, Michael.  And for the good of the family and the business.
     MICHAEL:  Screw your papers!  I'm NOT giving up my seat at the head of EL---AAAAATCHOO!   Gotta take my allergy meds and have a good stiff drink.
      NED: The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I see.
     MICHAEL:  Screw all of you!  I'm outta here.  Who knows, maybe I'll run into the baby I supposedly kidnapped.

       HOSPITAL

     NATHAN:  Things have certainly been eventful at this hospital, haven't they, Mom?
     LIESL: Zose reporters are VULTURES!  Make zem disappear, Nassan!  Go arrest zem!  Better yet, go find zat baby! 
     NATHAN: We are doing everything we can to bring Avery home safely.  We have a few suspects.
     LIESL:  I hear one of zem is your sister Nina.
     NATHAN:  If it was Nina, she had to have had some help from her bonkers bestie with benefits Franco.
     LIESL:  Franco vouldn't do such a sing, Nassan!
     NATHAN:  Still crushing hard on that lunatic, are you mother?
     LIESL:  How about Silas Clay?   He vas ze last person to see ze baby before she disappeared.
     NATHAN:  What's his motive?  Besides, going vigilante on Silas is so 2014.
     LIESL:  You must at ze very least question him, Nassan.   Ve need to find zis baby and get rid of zat vild beast Luke Spencer so zis hospital can have some peace.

      LUKE'S HOSPITAL ROOM

     LUKE:  What's this about your daughter, Sonny?   How many kids do you have these days anyway?  I kinda lost count when I was letting that monster Fluke run things up in the ol' noggin.
     SONNY:  Avery is missing.  She was kidnapped from this hospital.
     LUKE:  I want to assure you I didn't do it.  Neither did Fluke.  I'm sure she's a lovely baby but Fluke never had much use for infants.   Anyway, I want to apologize for all the things I did to you while Fluke was in charge.  
     SONNY:  What I don't get was why you went after me?  I thought we were simpatico.
     LUKE: We were.  We go back a long way.   Part of me, the part that ol' Fluke embodied, was always jealous of you and your power.  You got to have your cake and eat it too.  Me, I had to choose between my love for power and my love for Laura.  Fluke got stuffed so deep inside of me, but he didn't care much for containment.
      SONNY:  Look, I respect you, man.  This spill of guts, it's a good thing.  You have to face Fluke head on and tell that son of a bitch that he ain't running your life.
      LUKE:  You respect me?   You really respect me?   Well, that does it.  We're besties again!
      SONNY:  Damn straight we are.

      SECRET GREEN ROOM OF DEATH

      AVA:  Is it Avery?   Is she okay?
      SILAS:  Take a look-see.   (shows Ava the pic of Avery on his phone)
      AVA:  She's already eating solid food at five months!  She's on the fast track, just like her mama.  Only I'm on the fast track to the morgue.  Which reminds me, where are my death drugs?
      SILAS:  Ava, I'm still not cool with this.
      AVA:  But you brought them, right?   You promised me.
      SILAS:  They're right here.   (pulls two small vials out of his pocket)
      AVA:  Those two little itty bitty vials can do me in?
      SILAS:  It's strong stuff.  Are you sure you want to go through with this?

       METROCOURT

      KIKI:  I think I might have just realized how stupid me and Morgan are, Uncle Julian.
      JULIAN:  That's Morgan and I, and what do you mean by stupid?
      KIKI:  Our plotting and scheming put Avery in danger.
      JULIAN:  You think?   On the other hand, Michael was out of control.  It's not like he was safe over at Casa Quartermaine.
      KIKI:  Me and --Morgan and I drugged Michael.

       FRANCO & NINA'S SUITE

      NINA: I'm still pissed at you for not trusting me, Franco.
      FRANCO:  Look, Nina, I believe you didn't take the baby.  What else do I need to do to un-piss you off?
      NINA:  I don't trust that you trust me.  After Jay left, you asked me if I took that baby.
      FRANCO:  What if I told you that I have some shares of ELQ in my pocket thanks to one fake baby daddy Ned Ashton?
      NINA:  Why do I care about ELQ shares? 
      FRANCO:  Because I'm EXTORTING them from Ned and I'm TRUSTING you to keep that secret.  See?   What more proof do I need that I trust you?
      NINA:  Still not convinced.
      FRANCO:  Have you ever seen the Q mansion?   It's enormous.  It's humongous.
      NINA:  Please, I was born into a rich family.  I've seen my share of mansions.
      FRANCO:  If we get our hands on Q money, we won't even have to blackmail Olivia.  We can do whatever the hell we want with all that dough.

       Q MANSION

      NED:  So, how do we deal with our Michael problem?
      TRACY:  Any son of mine can outmaneuver a drunken twenty-something or is name is not Ned Ashton.  Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a husband to commit.
      ALEXIS:  Just keep your fingers crossed that we don't have to tangle with Helena.  
      OLIVIA:  Alexis, fancy meeting you here.  Can you get your obnoxious boyfriend off my back?
      FRANCO:  Hello, Qs.  Am I late for the meeting where you hand me my ELQ shares?

       FRANCO & NINA'S SUITE

       OBRECHT:  Nina, vere did you stash ze baby?