LOOF LIRPA

     Here I thought the random ballot box episode a few months ago was bizarre!   It turns out Jake was wearing a maxi pad for a reason!   While he was at Crichton Clark, those mad scientist Cassadines not only implanted a mind-control chip in his brain, but a robotic uterus in his abdomen!   Not only was the synthetic womb implanted, but a Stavros-Lulu embryo like the one in Helena's prized thermos, one that was created when Lulu was held on Cassadine Island, was implanted inside. 
       In other bizarre and shocking news, Carly comes down with laryngitis and all of Port Chuckles goes silent.  As in a silent movie, with old-timey music and black text screens.   Franco and Nina start their own country within Port Charles called The Kingdom of Chocolate Champagne and appoint themselves Emperor and Empress.  (F)Luke's dark secret is that he believes he was, at one point in his life, a grizzly bear and he still has that beast inside of him. 
       Maxie decides to ditch both Spinelli and Nathan and join the Cult of Jake Worshipers.   Heather Webber escapes Shadybrook AGAIN, breaks into Kelly's at 3 a.m. and makes 200 Special LSD-laced BLTs.   Dr. Obrecht frees Helena from exile and open a Goon Training Academy in the catacombs of Wyndemere.   Silas cures Ava's cancer with a concoction of ostrich blood, Robitussin, and maple syrup.   Anna sends Jordan into the Bermuda Triangle to hide from Duke.
         If these aren't enough (port) chuckles for you, write the title of this post on a piece of paper in all caps and hold the paper up to a mirror.   Or just read it backwards.