Fritta-ta-ta

    Dante convinces Valerie not to depart The Chuckles while Lulu tells Maxie she wishes her newfound cuz would just skip town.  Ellie has an awkward encounter with Nathan at Kelly's and they end up accusing each other of trying to break up each other's relationship.  Just as Carly was about to accuse Ric of creating the fake wife ruse with Hayden, Spinelli tells her that he saw another man meeting with Hayden.   Nikolas freaks when he finds Jason's wedding ring missing while Sam tells Jake and Patrick that the ring under the couch is Jason's.  

     DANTE & LULU'S APARTMENT

     DANTE:  Don't leave Port Chuckles, Valerie!  Your long-lost family is here.  
     VALERIE:  Lulu hates me.  
     DANTE:  What about Bobbie, Lucas, & Carly?  
     VALERIE:  They were pretty nice.  I guess I'll stay.  
     DANTE:  You made the right call.   Now I need to take a shower, then get back to finding my baby sister.  
    VALERIE:  One fritta-ta-ta coming up!

     MAXIE'S APARTMENT

     LULU:  My cousin Valerie is driving me BANANAS!  
     MAXIE:  Hold up!  Since when do you have a cousin Valerie?
     LULU:  Since, like, five minutes ago.  She tried to kill my dad.  
     MAXIE:  Have we really not hung out for that long?  
     LULU:  Totally.  I still don't know whether you chose Nathan or Spinelli.
     MAXIE:  Spinelli, but Nathan broke up with me first.  Until he showed up and tried to un-break up with me but it was too late.  I was back with Spinelli. 
     ROCCO:  Um, Hello?  Where's Georgie?  Totally thought this was a play date.  

    KELLY'S

    ELLIE:  Sincerest apologies for my momentary lack of hand-eye coordination!
    NATHAN:  No worries.  It happens in this town more often than you'd think.  
    ELLIE:  You possess a most impressive physique. 
    NATHAN:  Thanks.  Wait a minute, aren't you Ellie? 
    ELLIE:  Your skill in correctly ascertaining my identity is also admirable.  
    NATHAN:  It's all your fault that I lost Maxie.  If you hadn't sent Spinelli after her, Maxie and I would still be together right now. 
    ELLIE:  I merely desired to determine whether Damien was still in possession of feelings for the mother of his child.  However, you saw it appropriate to end your relationship with Maxie so that Damien might once again seek her affections. 
   NATHAN:  I saw Maxie, Spinelli, and Georgie as a family and I didn't want to mess with their loving family unit vibes so I stepped aside.  
   ELLIE:  So what are we going to do now?  
   NATHAN:  Either we reclaim the people we love or have sex and make them jealous.  Your call. 

   METROCOURT

   CARLY:  Well if it isn't Slimy McSlimeball and Miss Ficklepants. 
   ELIZABETH:  Mind your own business much, Carly?
   RIC:  What?  Is Elizabeth supposed to sit at home alone pining for a married man?  
   CARLY:  Well, that depends...
   SPINELLI:  I have a matter of the utmost urgency to discuss with you. 
   CARLY:  Later, Spinelli. 
   SPINELLI:  This matter waits for no man.  I must converse with you at once. 
  
  DANTE & LULU'S APARTMENT
 
   VALERIE:  Voila!  It's Fritta-ta-ta a la Patricia Spencer. 
   DANTE:  That's like, Top Chef material. 
   VALERIE:  My mom was an awesome cook.  And she had this thing where she'd add an extra syllable to every dish just to make me laugh.  I miss my mom so much!  
   DANTE:  You and your mom had something really special.  I totally get that.  My mother is always making me cannolis.  
   VALERIE:  You TOTALLY get me, Dante.  I still can't believe my mom is gone! 

 MAXIE'S APARTMENT

   MAXIE:  If you ask me, I think you should kick your cuckoo cousin to the curb. 
   LULU:  I kinda sorta hope Dante does it for me.  I mean, I feel sorry for Valerie that Dad went all psycho on her and she had to watch her mom die and all, but she's really cramping my style. 
   MAXIE:  I hear you, sister.  Does the name Levi Dunkleman ring a bell?
   LULU:  So are you still jonesing for Nathan or is Spinelli the one?
   MAXIE:   I'm SO CONFUSED!  

 METROCOURT

   SPINELLI:  It does not appear that Ric Lansing is involved.
   CARLY:  What do you MEAN he isn't involved?  He's in this up to his eyeballs.  He wants Elizabeth back so he sics a fake wife on Jake to get him out of the way, simple as that.
   SPINELLI:  I was able to capture photographically an agreement of sorts between the alleged Mrs. Barnes and a fellow who bore little resemblance to Mr. Lansing.
   CARLY:  Well, show me already!   (looks at the pic of Fake Jake and Hayden shaking hands)  This proves nothing.  I can't see his face.
   SPINELLI:  I was loathe to be discovered, so I snapped this photograph without proper subject framing technique.
   CARLY:  Find this guy.  NOW!  

 WYNDEMERE

  NIKOLAS:  Where is that goddamn ring!  
 
  PATRICK'S HOUSE
 
   JAKE:  Check this out.  A ring.  
   PATRICK:  Looks like a wedding ring.  How did this get under my couch?
   SAM:  OMG!  IT'S JASON'S WEDDING RING!  
   PATRICK:  How the hell did it end up under my couch?  
   SAM:  I don't know?  Robin?  
   PATRICK:  She's been gone for months.
   SAM:  I never thought I'd see this again.
   PATRICK: Where did it come from?
   EMMA:  It came from Spencer.  He threw it at me because I wouldn't be his one and only.
   PATRICK:  That's interesting.  Why would Spencer Cassadine have Jason's ring?
   EMMA:  I don't know, but Spencer's been extra creepy lately.  

  WYNDEMERE

   NIKOLAS:  Grandmother, did you take Jason's wedding ring?   It was in the safe.  No, Grandmother, wi-fi was not part of the exile plan.  Goodbye Grandmother.   
   SPENCER:  I'm hideous.  My life is over.  Emma rejected me.
   NIKOLAS:  We really ought to fix that broken record of yours.  
   SPENCER:  Emma doesn't want a disfigured boyfriend.   That's why she threw the ring at me.
   NIKOLAS:  What ring?
   SPENCER:  Ummm....
   NIKOLAS:  WHAT RING, Spencer?  
   SPENCER:  The one in the safe.  
   NIKOLAS:  You're grounded.  I'm going to Emma's to find the ring.  

    DANTE & LULU'S APARTMENT

   LULU:  Hello!  Why is Valerie still here?  

    MAXIE'S APARTMENT

   SPINELLI:  Maximista, am I most delighted to lay my eyes on you.  
   MAXIE:  I'm going to cook dinner for us and we're going to be a happy family.
   SPINELLI:  I am trembling with glee.   I shall return with our young offspring!