Luke Is The Cow

    Luke and Laura run into former nemesis Jennifer Smith at the Triple L and Jennifer has a proposition for Luke.  Valerie overhears Dillon and Lulu vowing to keep a secret from Dante.  Sam confronts Nikolas about his plans for ELQ.  A cornered Rosalie gives Nikolas up to Michael, Jake, and Dante.  Tracy and Sabrina find out just how much of ELQ is in Cassadine control. 

    TRIPLE L DINER

    JENNIFER:  Look who's ba-ack!
    LUKE:  CRAP!  It's Jennifer Smith.  Unreal how many women want a piece of me.
    LAURA:  What are YOU doing here, Jennifer?
    JENNIFER:  I'm trolling for some nookie...WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING HERE? 
    LUKE:  If it's nookie you're looking for, YOU AIN'T GONNA GET IT! 
    JENNIFER:  Don't be so sure about that.  Lucky's life could depend on it. 

    ELQ OFFICE

    DANTE:  Rosalie, you are facing some serious corporate espionage charges. 
    ROSALIE:  Who?  Little ol' me?  Why would I be a spy? 
    JAKE:  Oh, I don't know, to please your "boss"?   Someone is putting you up to this, am I right?
    ROSALIE:  So what if someone is.  If I give him up to you, do you have any idea how much trouble I'd be in?  His people don't mess around. 
    MICHAEL:  If you name the guy who's after ELQ, I'll still be pissed as hell at you for betraying me, but you won't face any criminal charges.  If not, well, orange might be the new black for you.
    ROSALIE:  But he'll tell my SECRET! 
    DANTE:  Pentonville's a rough place, Rosalie.  If you think working for Nina Clay was hell, the ladies in Cellblock B will set you straight. 
    ROSALIE:  FINE, IT WAS NIKOLAS, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?
    MICHAEL:  Nikolas as in Cassadine? 
    ROSALIE:  Do you know any other Nikolases?   Yes.  Nikolas Cassadine.  But I suppose a beheading at the hands of his psycho grandmother beats 10 years in lockup.  At least it will all be over quickly.
  
   DANTE & LULU'S APARTMENT

   LULU:  Valerie, what are you doing here?
   VALERIE:  I came at a bad time, clearly.
   LULU:  Nonsense.  Come on in.  (Lets Valerie in, closes the door, then steps back out into the hall)
   DILLON:  Do you think she heard us?
   LULU:  I sure as hell hope not, but seeing that this is Port Chuckles, she's probably texting Dante as we speak.
   DILLON:  You have a point.  See you around, Lulu.
 
   Q MANSION

   TRACY:  Those Cassadines are all the same.  There is no such thing as a "nice Cassadine."  They are all ruthless, unscrupulous pirhanas and ELQ could be swallowed whole if we don't stop Nikolas in time.
    SABRINA:  Let's talk this out while we fold onesies, shall we?
    TRACY:  What else am I going to do?  Pace the floor while Michael and Jake question Rosalie?
    SABRINA:  Don't forget Dante.  They brought him in for reinforcement.  He'll throw the book at Rosalie if he has to.
    TRACY:  If they can get her to 'fess up, at least we'll know who's after ELQ once and for all.
    SABRINA:  In Michael I trust. 

   TRIPLE L

  LUKE:  So you want to have sex with me, Jennifer?  You kidnapped my son just so you could HAVE SEX WITH ME?   Why do I attract every wackadoo woman who has set foot in Port Chuckles?
  JENNIFER:  Now you're getting it, Luke.  You're the cow and your penis is providing the free milk.
  LUKE:  Moooooooooooo
  JENNIFER:  Now that's more like it!  One night shagging me and you may, just MAY get to see your Lucky again, live, IN THE FLESH. 

   DANTE & LULU'S APARTMENT

    VALERIE:  Here's the thing, cuz.  Dante and I are just friends.
     LULU:  Oooooookay. 
    VALERIE:  I know you saw the picture in the paper.
     LULU:  Julian's tabloid rag?  TMZ has more integrity. 
    VALERIE:  I'm glad you don't take it seriously because that picture made it look like I was cozying up to Dante and that's so not true.  (to herself) I don't think...
     LULU:  Good to know.  I mean, you have been hanging out with Dante an awful lot since you came here. 
    VALERIE:  Do you think I applied for the PCPD job JUST to get close to your husband?   I happened to major in criminology in college and I've binge-watched a TON of cop shows.
    LULU:  In that case, I'm glad you found some work in your field (to herself) I guess...
    VALERIE:  It's a good thing we cleared the air.  I've gotta get back to work.

   METROCOURT

      SAM:  Are you after ELQ or is this all just some big huge misunderstanding?  Please tell me it's the latter.
      NIKOLAS:  Fine, Sam, I'm trying to acquire ELQ to offset all the money I lost when my rogue relatives drained the Cassadine coffers with their sci-fi cryogenics factory.
     SAM:  And there weren't other companies you could raid, like, Apple, Netflix, The Houston Astros? 
     NIKOLAS:  Sorry, Sam. Time's a wasting and I couldn't let Spencer suffer the indignity of being a TOWNIE, now, could I?  We're Cassadines and we belong in creepy castles on spooky islands.   In case you've conveniently forgotten, YOU are a Cassadine too.
     SAM:  But since I married Jason, I'm also a Quartermaine.  You're stealing from MY late hubby's family.
     NIKOLAS:  Stealing?  Call it what you want, but I own half the company now. 
     SAM:  Like grandmother, like grandson. 
     NIKOLAS:  That's hilarious.   See you around, cousin. 
 

    PCPD INTERROGATION ROOM

    DANTE:  Here's paper.  Here's a pen.  Start writing, Rosalie.  I'll give you an opening sentence:  Nikolas Cassadine is worming his way into ELQ and I helped. 
     ROSALIE:  (to herself):  My time would be better spent getting my affairs in order and planning my last meal. 
     VALERIE:  Oh, Dante, you're back.  You're gonna want to sit down for this.


     ELQ OFFICE

     TRACY:  Michael, we are in crisis mode.  Nikolas Cassadine owns 50% of ELQ.
     MICHAEL:  50?   What the hell?  Last I counted it was 43.5%
     TRACY:  Brook Lynne was blackmailed into giving up her 6.5%. 
     MICHAEL:  CRAP!