Spencer Up!

    Dante asks Sonny to watch Rocco while he goes up to British Columbia to confront Lulu and Dillon.  Luke tells Lulu that Ethan was also kidnapped.  Laura and Holly receive a disturbing picture from the captors.  Liz panics when Jake turns down Nikolas's job offer.  "Denise" shows up at the Q mansion and demands to see Crypt Baby Avery.  Sabrina and Michael tell "Denise" where she'll have to go to see the baby. 

    SONNY'S HOUSE

      DANTE:  Hi little sis!  Please tell me she hasn't been kidnapped AGAIN! 
      SONNY:  It's all legit, Dante.  Michael returned her to me last night. 
      DANTE:  The things you miss when you find out your wife's been a-cheatin'.  
      SONNY:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?   Lulu wouldn't cheat on you.  She's nuts about you? 
      DANTE:  She's having an affair with Dillon Quartermaine.   I followed her to the Q mansion where Dillon greeted her wearing only a towel and then they took off. 
      SONNY:  Did you ask Lulu what was up? 
      DANTE:  She claimed she was helping her grandmother in Italy.  I did a little research and she LIED.  She fled the country with him and they're sharing a hotel room in British Columbia.  If that doesn't scream AFFAIR, then I don't know what does.  I was so pissed off at Lulu I revenge-kissed her cousin Valerie.  
      SONNY:  Revenge kissing?  Are you streaming Southwest General from your desk at the PCPD?
      DANTE:  Valerie talked me out of letting it go any further.  But I need a favor.  Watch Rocco while I go confront Lulu and that son of a bitch she's sleeping with.  
      SONNY:  Now you're speaking my language.   Playdates with babies and toddlers are what I'm all about.  

     HOTEL IN BRITISH COLUMBIA

      LUKE:  Now that was some menage a trois!  
      LAURA:  Very funny, Luke.  We're still missing Lucky. 
      HOLLY:  And Ethan.  
      LUKE:  And we're sick of waiting!  
      AUDIENCE:  SO ARE WE!  
      HOLLY:  I have an idea.  Maybe it's all connected to you, Luke.  After all, Ethan and Lucky are both YOUR sons. 
      LUKE:  You're right.  It IS all my fault.  I better make sure Lulu hasn't been kidnapped too. 

     LULU & DILLON'S ROOM

       DILLON:  I revised my script.  My cinematic persona is new and improved, with all new flaws!  
       LULU:  I hate lying to Dante. 
       DILLON:  Want to read what my flaws are?  
       LULU:  I hate lying to Dante.  
       LUKE:  I had to make sure you hadn't been kidnapped like Lucky and Ethan. 
       LULU:  ETHAN is kidnapped too?   OMG!  OMG!  OMG!  
       LUKE:  You can be scared for 5 seconds, starting now.   Then, it's time to Spencer up! 

      SABRINA'S APARTMENT

       MICHAEL:  I miss AJ. 
       SABRINA:  Let's have some more sex.
       MICHAEL:  Sounds like a plan.  

      Q MANSION

        TRACY:  Ever heard of knocking?
        AVA/"DENISE":   The doah was wide open!
        TRACY:  What do you want?
        AVA/"DENISE":  I wanna to see mah niece.  Didn't Michael tell ya?  Wheah is he? 
        TRACY:  Do I look like I strap a GPS to my nephew?  
        AVA/"DENISE":  What's yoah problem, lady?   I just wanna see dat cute li'l baby. 
        TRACY:  I don't think so.  Circus Circus called.  They're missing one of their acts.  You'd better head on back before you get upstaged by an elephant.  
        
         KELLY'S

         NIKOLAS:  Say, Jake, what do you think about staying on at ELQ and working for me?  Take a look at these numbers. 
         JAKE:  Say, Nikolas, how about HELL NO!  I wouldn't work for you if it were the last job on earth.  I'd go back to work with Julian Jerome before I went to work for you. 
         NIKOLAS:  But I paid for your brain surgery! 
         JAKE:  So now you 're my keeper?  Sorry, CassaSLIME!  You'll have to find yourself a new head of security.  What's your grandmother doing these days?  
          NIKOLAS:  Fine, if you don't want to work for me, I won't shed a tear.   Good luck making those kind of numbers anywhere else.  
          JAKE:  You're going down, man.  The Qs are going to get ELQ back and I'm gonna help them do it.   Lets' get out of here, Uhlizabeth.  
          LIZ:  You go.  You need your space.  I need to talk to my good friend Nikolas. 
          JAKE:  Yeah, yeah, I know.  You and that rat bastard go way back.  

          LUKE & LAURA'S HOTEL ROOM

         LAURA:  We don't have to hate each other, Holly.  Let's bury the hatchet.  
         HOLLY:  Okay.  For the record, I had no idea Luke was married when I conceived Ethan with him.  
          LAURA:  See!  We can let bygones be bygones and team up to save our sons.  
          VOICE:  Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be hostages!  
          HOLLY:  Come on, just tell us where our sons are!  
          VOICE:  Open the door and you shall see.  
          AUDIENCE:  (Eyeroll) 
           LAURA:  (takes paper out of envelope found outside the room)  OMG!  They're bound and gagged! 
           LULU:  Have no fear, Mom!  I have decided to Spencer up!   

          Q MANSION

         MICHAEL: Denise, what are you doing here?  
         AVA/"DENISE":  I cawled and left a message.  I wanna see my niece NOW! 
         MICHAEL:  She's not here.  I gave her back to Sonny last night.   She's with her father now. 
         AVA/"DENISE":  CRAP!  

          OUTSIDE LULU & DILLON'S ROOM

          DANTE:  (sees clothes strewn all over the bed and no Lulu or Dillon) CRAP!  
          HOTEL EMPLOYEE:  Was anyone hurt?  
          DANTE:  Not physically.   

          SONNY'S HOUSE

          AVA/DENISE:  Surprise!  
          SONNY:  SON OF A BITCH!!!!!