Who Wants To Raise Avery?

  Apparently half of Port Chuckles wants a piece of Crypt Baby.   After overhearing Michael offer Sabrina the job of the wee one's nanny, Kiki goes berserk and tries to convince her uncle Julian to fight for custody.   Meanwhile, Ava refuses to let Silas consider Avery as a bone marrow donor and wishes he would raise Avery with Kiki.   Jordan's cover is in danger of being blown and she wants out before she ends up on the wrong end of a gun.   Jake, who Spinelli mistakes for Jason, asks Sam to put in a good word for him with Julian. 

    SECRET GREEN HAND-WRINGING ROOM

   SILAS:  Good news, Ava.  There may be a way to save your life.  All you have to do is agree to let Avery be poked by a needle. 
   AVA:  No way, no how!   I will NOT have bone marrow cut out of my baby girl! 
   SILAS:  To be fair, they don't CUT it out.  The use a giant needle to suck it out.  
   AVA:  No giant needles either.   I'd rather die than have Avery suffer to save my life.   I hate that Michael and Sonny are playing tug-of-war over her and that Michael named her AJ.  AJ!   Here's an idea, Silas.  YOU raise Avery.   You and Kiki.  
   SILAS:  Kiki decided not to pursue custody.  Besides, Kiki and I are up the creek without a paddle competing against the Quartermaines, with all of their money and power and Quartermaine-ishness. 
   AVA:  So, let Julian fight the battle.  He's the better gangster anyway.  

    Q MANSION

   MICHAEL:  Sabrina, will you be AJ's nanny? 
   SABRINA:  Ummmm...okay. 
   KIKI:  Over my dead body will that baby-killing psycho be my little sister's nanny. 
   MICHAEL:  Who invited you here? 
   KIKI:   I brought something for Avery.  
   MICHAEL: It's AJ and she doesn't need anything from you.  Now apologize to Sabrina for calling her a psycho. 
   KIKI:  Like hell I will.  She gave my mother bad medicine to make her go into premature labor so Avery would DIE just like her dead baby.  
  SABRINA:  But...I tried to stop her and I said I was sorry.  
  KIKI:  SORRY isn't good enough, babykiller.   Avery would be much better off with her REAL family. 
  MICHAEL:  Like her two parents who are murderers?   Sabrina made a mistake and she regrets what she did.  SONNY never admits when he's wrong, SO THERE! 

    PIER

  SHAWN:  Jordan, remember when I suspected you were a cop?   I still do.  
  JORDAN:  This again?   Seriously, Shawn, could you repeat that one more time just in case I didn't hear you the first 5287 times? 
  SHAWN:  Prove you're not a cop. 
  JORDAN:  Check my phone.  
  SHAWN:  After you've covered your tracks?   No thanks. 
  JORDAN:  Fine, then go running to Sonny and Duke and tell them you're sleeping with the enemy.  I dare you. 
  SHAWN: Watch me. 

   HOSPITAL: 

   SPINELLI:  Stone Cold!  Jason is alive!  Long Live Jason!
   JAKE:  Come again?
   SPINELLI:  Deepest apologies, sir.  Your butt looked just like that of my dearly departed best friend.  
   JAKE:  Oooooookay.   Who are you? 
   SPINELLI:  Spamien Dinelli. 
   CARLY:  He means Damien Spinelli.  
   JAKE:  Nice to meet you.  I'm Jake Doe.   At least I'm going with that name because I haven't the foggiest idea what my real name is.  You know, amnesia and all. 
   SAM:  Hey, Spinelli, let's go get some jello in the cafeteria.
   JAKE:  Actually Sam, I kinda needed to chat with you, in private. 
   CARLY:  I'll wrangle Spinelli for you, Sam. 

   JULIAN'S APARTMENT

   CARLOS:  Jules, man, we gotta kill Lavery
   JULIAN: There has to be another way.   My main squeeze might frown upon the killing part.  She might withhold sex. 
   CARLOS:  How else are we going to take over this town.  That's what you wanna do, right? 
   JULIAN:  Can't we just set fire to his kilt collection?   Oh, that's the door.  It's Kiki.  Get lost. 

    SONNY'S APARTMENT

    DUKE:  Some stuff went down on the pier yesterday.  Julian and his goons started moving their shipments through our pier.  
    CLEAN SHAVEN SONNY:   Did you take care of business?  
    DUKE:  We fired off a few shots before Anna came sniffing around. 
    SONNY:   How did Anna know?  Someone tip her off? 
    DUKE:  That's the theory.   The question is, who? 

    HOSPITAL

   JAKE: Sam, can you help me get a job with your dad? 
   SAM:  You want to work for Julian Jerome?   After all you went through being Helena's RoboGoon you want to be a goon for the Jeromes? 
   JAKE: My resume kinda sucks, I have no car, no social security number, so the job market's slim pickings for me. 
   SAM:  I'll see what I can do.  

   JULIAN'S APARTMENT

   KIKI:  Uncle Julian, we have a problem.  Michael hired that baby killer Sabrina Santiago to be Avery's nanny.  She gave Mom the premature labor pills.   Avery is not safe.   You HAVE to fight for custody.
   JULIAN:  Look, Kiki, I get that you're worried about your little sis, but the judge decided against one gangster to raise Avery, so what makes you think he'd choose another?  
   KIKI:  YOU wouldn't have to raise her yourself.   I could, with my dad's help. 
  JULIAN:  I'll consider it. 
   KIKI:  OMG, Uncle Julian, you're the BESTEST!  Thank you! 
   CARLOS:  So, you still want to let Lavery roam the face of the earth? 
   JULIAN:  Nah, let's off him. 

    Q MANSION
 
    MICHAEL:  Sabrina, don't let Kiki get to you. 
    SABRINA:  I can't do this.  She called me a psycho.  
    MICHAEL:  She's a hypocrite who thinks AJ would be better off with a person who ACTUALLY murdered someone. 
    SABRINA:  But I did try to send Ava into premature labor.  For, like 5 minutes. 
    MICHAEL:  And then you told her not to take the pills and you apologized to her.   AJ's fine.   You didn't kill anyone.  Now will you PLEASE take the job so I don't have to hire one of those agency nannies?  
    SABRINA:  Oh, fine, I'll do it.  

    PIER

    JORDAN:  Shawn's onto me.  I'm screwed.  Let me out of this stupid undercover thing already. 
    ANNA:  If you blow your cover, you put your life in danger. 
    JORDAN:  If they find out anyway, my life's still in danger.  What's the diff? 
    ANNA:  There is still some strategizing to do.  We're THIS close to stopping organized crime in this town.