Jake, Meet Jake

    It's about to get mighty confusing around the Webber house, with both Jake/Jason and Li'l Jake living under the same roof.   What will Liz do to keep them straight?  Tell Big Jake that he's really Jason?  Assign them numb/ers?   Further confuse her traumatized son by calling him Jacob instead?   Big Jake meets Li'l Jake for the first time today and the two bond over--what else--motorcycles.

     Over in Dante and Lulu's studio of marital strife, Lulu catches Dante on the phone with Valerie and ponders voodoo on her newfound cousin.   Sonny and Carly talk Josslyn, Li'l Jake (who they don't know is alive and well at Liz's house), Jason, and, of course, Dante and Lulu.  Luke catches Tracy and Paul in the sack and comes clean with his ex-fiancee.  Meanwhile, downstairs, Dillon encounters his dad in a bathrobe after leaving Tracy's bedroom.  Nikolas tells Lucky that Big Jake is Jason and that Liz knows.  Lucky wants to come clean to Jake/Jason but he is conflicted about his role in Liz's and his sons' lives.  

     LIZ'S HOUSE

    LIZ:  Jake, I would like you to meet Jake, my son.  
    JAKE:  The one that...how is he still...
    LIZ:  One and the same.  Lucky brought him home to me.  It's a miracle!  
    JAKE:  I'll say!  Hey there, li'l Jake!  How cool is it that we have the same name?  
    LI'L JAKE:  Do you like motorcycles?  
    JAKE:  Are you kidding me?  I LOVE motorcycles!  I DREAM ABOUT motorcycles.
    LI'L JAKE:  Cool!
   
    DANTE & LULU'S APARTMENT

   DANTE:  (over phone) Bye.  See you tomorrow.
   LULU:  You're not talking to VALERIE are you?   I hate my cousin with the fire of a thousand suns!  
   DANTE:  She's your family, Lulu.  
   LULU:  I would so un-cousin her if I could.  As for you, you should un-coworker her.  
   DANTE:  You mean quit my job?  
   LULU:  I mean get Valerie fired.  
   DANTE:  While we're jettisoning people from our lives, how about un-friending Dillon Quartermaine?  
   LULU:  Like, SERIOUSLY?  Dillon is JUST A FRIEND who I DID NOT sleep with while I was in Canada.  I didn't even KISS him, unlike you and my bitch of a cousin! 

    Q MANSION

     LUKE:  Hey Dillon, where's your mother?  I need to talk to her.  
     DILLON:  Join the search party.  I've been looking all over this mansion for her. 
     LUKE:  Did you explain the situation to her?  
     DILLON:  I didn't get the chance.  I was too busy talking with Sabrina and her purse.  
     LUKE:  Screw it, I'm gonna go up to her bedroom and knock on her door. 

     SONNY'S HOUSE

      CARLY:  Hey, I got good news about Josslyn.  She's cancer free!  I'm still trying to wean her off the corn.  
      SONNY:  How did I not know she was getting checked?  
      CARLY:  Because I didn't want you to see my scared face. 
      SONNY:  I like all your faces, Carly.  I know all your faces.  Even the ones who want to kick my ass.  
      CARLY:  Thank goodness for Elizabeth and Jason for donating their little boy's organs.   Josslyn is alive today all because of little Jake.  
      SONNY:  Jason would have done anything for you, Carly.  He would have done anything for me, too.  
      CARLY:  I miss him. 
      SONNY:  So do I.  He was my best friend and my best enforcer.  Now, Duke's dead and Shawn's in Pentonville, I could sure use Jason right now . 

     WYNDEMERE

       LUCKY:  Mission accomplished.   Dad and I brought Jake back to Elizabeth.
       LAURA:  She must be rowing in a river of her own tears of joy right now.  
       LUCKY:  That pretty much sums it up.   Li'l Jake is taking it all in stride.  
       LAURA:  So why are you over here and not back there sharing in this joy? 
       LUCKY:  I'm giving Jake and Elizabeth some space.  Besides, she's got a boyfriend now. 
       LAURA:  Speaking of giving space, I'm going to let you and Nikolas get reacquainted.  

      LIZ'S HOUSE

      LIZ:  Hey Jake, it's getting close to bedtime.   (both Jakes look at her) 
      JAKE:  Yeah, we're going to have to work on that. 
      LI'L JAKE:  I don't have any pajamas. 
      LIZ:  Lucky for you, your brother Cam has some that don't fit him anymore.  Let's go up and find some.  

       Q MANSION

       LUKE:  (opens door and sees Tracy and Paul in bed)  Tell me I didn't just see you in bed with PAUL HORNSBY! 
       TRACY:  So what if I am?   You moved on with LAURA and I hooked up with one of my exes too. 
       LUKE:  About that, I didn't move on with Laura.  That was all an act. 
       PAUL:  I'm just going to put on a sad robe and get the hell out of here.   (leaves) 
       TRACY:  You humiliated me at our engagement party and IT WAS ALL AN ACT?  
       LUKE:  Our son was in danger, Tracy.  Laura and I were given orders to drop everything and fly up to British Columbia and who shows up but Jennifer Smith, wanting to get her groove on with me in exchange for my son's safety.   We went to her hotel room, I passed out drunk and we never did the deed.  It turns out she didn't have a clue where Lucky was, but she was in on the ruse because her daddy was involved.  The one and only Frank Smith.   He had both Lucky and my other son, Ethan.  A few gunshots later, Frank Smith is dead and I learn that Lucky staged the whole kidnapping in order to save his not-quite-deceased son Jake, who was being held by Helena on Cassadine Island for the past five years.  
       TRACY:  And you couldn't tell me this BEFORE breaking my heart because...
       LUKE:  We were specifically told not to.  
       TRACY:  Yet you told Dillon.  
       LUKE:  Only because he was there to beat the crap out of me for what I did to you.  Can you forgive me, Tracy? 
       TRACY:  Sorry, Luke.  No dice.  You promised me the whole enchilada and you held out on the tortilla that holds it all together. 

       WYNDEMERE

       LUCKY:  Long time, no see, Nikolas.  
       NIKOLAS:  It has been awhile. 
       LUCKY:  So you heard about little Jake. 
       NIKOLAS:  For the record, I had no idea my grandmother was keeping him there.  The less I know about her shenanigans on that island, the better.   I can have Patrick check him for brainwashing chips if it would make you feel better. 
       LUCKY:  Of course you didn't know.  You wouldn't keep secrets from your OWN FAMILY like that.  
      NIKOLAS:  (to himself) Oh yes I would!  (to Lucky)  So what are your plans?  Are you staying in town. 
      LUCKY:  I'm planning on facing some of my demons.  It's a Spencer male trait.   The last thing I want to happen to me and my family is for me to end up with a muzzle as I am transported to Shadybrook. 
      NIKOLAS:  But whose ear could you possibly want to bite off?  
      LUCKY:  I have a lot of angst, Nikolas.  I don't know if I can be a good father to my children.  
      NIKOLAS:  Technology is very helpful with that these days.   That is if you manage to keep your Skype dates.  
      LUCKY:  But then again, I don't want to abandon Jake when I know so little about the man Elizabeth is seeing. 
      NIKOLAS:  Actually, you kinda do know him because he's Jason. 
      LUCKY:  That's hilarious. 
      NIKOLAS:  I'm telling you the truth.  He was unfrozen, got in a car accident, had plastic surgery, and doesn't remember who he is.  The only people who know are Helena, me, and Elizabeth.  
      LUCKY:  If Elizabeth knows, why hasn't she told him?  
      NIKOLAS:  Because everyone has grieved him and moved on.  
      LUCKY:  This is ALL KINDS OF WRONG, man.  He has a right to know who he is and I just might tell him. 

       Q MANSION

        DILLON:  Dad, what are you doing here, in this living room, in a sad robe? 
        PAUL:  I came here to see you.  
        DILLON:  That's a new concept.  Is this fatherly concern or morbid curiosity.  
        PAUL:  Okay, so I slept with your mother while I was waiting for you to show up. 
        DILLON:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAT?   No, don't say anything more about that.  
        PAUL:  Why not?  I've been dumped, she's been dumped so, we thought, what the hey? 
        DILLON:  I'll pretend I didn't hear that.  
        PAUL:  But I really am interested in getting to know my son. 
        DILLON:  What brought this on?   I mean, it's not like you've seen me in two decades. 
        PAUL:  Yeah, sorry about that whole abandonment thing.  It wasn't working out so well, so I figured it was time to change my parenting strategy.  
        DILLON:  You think?

         LIZ'S HOUSE

         LI'L JAKE:  I forgot my motorcycle.  
         JAKE:  Hey, a former mob boss friend of mine has a motorcycle in his garage.  Maybe your mom will let you...sit on it.  
          LIZ:  Only if it's not turned on and I can bubble-wrap him first.  
          LUCKY:  (looking in window) (to himself)  Never mind.  

          DANTE & LULU'S APARTMENT

          LULU:  Okay, now that I have washed the seething resentment off of me, I want to work on our marriage.
          DANTE:  So do I.