Your Cheatin' Heart

     Dante confronts Lulu about her supposed affair with Dillon and Lulu sets him straight, only to find that he's the one who needs to make a confession.  Tracy runs into one of her many exes, Paul Hornsby (Dillon's daddy) at the airport.  Meanwhile Dillon wants to come clean to Tracy about Luke and Laura, but finds Sabrina in the Q mansion instead.   Liz panics when Patrick tells her Hayden's vital signs are improving. Sam and Jake find Hayden's driver's license in Nikolas's safe and run into Valerie, who tells them that Hayden shacked up with Nikolas after the Nurses' Ball.  So here's the recap, with a little help from country legend Hank Williams. 

      DANTE AND LULU'S APARTMENT

     DANTE: Your cheatin' heart will make you weep!  You'll cry and cry, and try to sleep. 
     LULU:  Listen to me, Dante!  That's SO NOT WHAT HAPPENED. 
     DANTE:  But sleep won't come the whole night through.  Your cheatin' heart will tell on you. 
     LULU:  But I WASN'T CHEATING!  I was trying to save my brother's life!
     DANTE:  By boinking Dillon?  
     LULU:  One of my dad's old enemies had him and he said NO COPS.  Guess what, Dante?  YOU'RE A COP! 
     DANTE:  Thanks for reminding me.  Still pissed that you didn't trust me.  You trusted Dillon instead. 
     LULU:  Dillon just happened to be on the Haunted Star when my dad told me what was going on.  He was in on the secret and so was I.  
     DANTE:  CRAP! 

      WYNDEMERE

      SAM:  Lookee here, Jake.  I found Hayden's driver's license. 
      JAKE: She was born in 1984?  Could've fooled me.   I had her pegged at 35, 41 tops. 
      SAM:  What was my cousin doing with Hayden's driver's license? 
      JAKE:  Was my fake wife cheating on me with Nikolas?   I guess it wasn't cheating if she wasn't really my wife, but still...
      SAM:  Well, that's about it, besides the stacks of bills he calls petty cash.  (closes and locks the safe) 
      VALERIE:  Are you guys supposed to be here? 

       HOSPITAL

   LIZ:  Patrick, how's Hayden?  It's so tragic that she was hit by a bullet meant for Jake.  Is she going to wake up?  Is she?  Is she?  IS SHE? 
   PATRICK:  (consults his Magic 8 Ball) Signs point to yes. 
   LIZ:  (to herself) CRAP! (to Patrick) Always good when patients recover. 
  
   LIZ:  Threat leavel RED!   Hayden MIGHT WAKE UP AND TELL JASON EVERYTHING!  
   NIKOLAS:  Maybe you can ask Patrick to prescribe you a Xanax.  

       Q MANSION

    DILLON:  Mom, I'm home!  Hi, Sabrina. 
    SABRINA:  How was your trip?  Where are you filming your next movie? 
    DILLON:  I'm looking into British Columbia.  Where's Mom? 
    SABRINA:  She's at the airport, headed 3,000 miles across the continent. 
    DILLON:  Say WHAAAAAAAAT?  
    SABRINA:  She's visiting her granddaughter, your niece Brook Lynn.  She wants to find out why she gave Nikolas her shares.  
    DILLON:  Yeah, I kinda need to talk to her.  Like right now.  
    SABRINA:  You still have time.  Her plane doesn't take off for another, like 2 hours.  Your mom and I are totally besties now so I know how she likes to leave crazy early for the airport. 
   

     AIRPORT

   TRACY:  What the...PAUL HORNSBY?   What rat hole did you crawl out of? 
   PAUL: Nice to see you again too, Tracy. 
   TRACY:  Wish I could say the same.   What the hell are you doing back in The Chuckles?   Who was President the last time you set foot in this town?  
   PAUL:  I'm here to see my son.  
   TRACY:  That's hilarious.  You remember you actually have a son.  
   PAUL:  And I remember his name too.  Dillon, isn't it?   I heard he was back in town, so I thought it would be a good time to catch up on the last 20-odd years.   How old is he now?  
   TRACY:  Very funny, Paul.  You are SO not one of my favorite exes.  I like the wacky lush Larry Ashton better than you. 
   PAUL:  What about Luke Spencer? 
   TRACY:  Okay, now you got me.  Between you and him, it's a draw.  
  
    WYNDEMERE

      SAM:  Hi Valerie!  How's life been treating you since the Nurses' Ball? 
      VALERIE:  Things have been...interesting.  What are you guys doing here? 
      SAM:  Just waiting to talk to my cousin Nikolas.   By the way, this is Jake.  Jake, this is Valerie.  I did a number with her at the Nurses' Ball and I haven't seen her since. 
      JAKE:  Hi Valerie.  So you live here?   Are you another Cassadine?  
      VALERIE:  That's hilarious.  I'm actually Lulu's cousin, so that would make me a Spencer. 
      SAM:  So do you know anything about Nikolas and Hayden Barnes?  
      VALERIE:  I know she crashed here after the Nurses' Ball.  
      SAM:  The plot thickens...  
      VALERIE:  Nikolas said she knew her from way back when, whatever that means.  
      JAKE:  (strokes his chin)  Hmmmm...
      SAM:  Well, thank you, Valerie.  
      VALERIE:  I'll let Nikolas know you dropped by. 
      SAM:  No need.  We'll catch up with him.  

      Q MANSION

         DILLON:  (over the phone)  Mom, I'm back from my trip.  I need to talk to you, like, YESTERDAY!  Ditch the L.A. trip and get home ASAP.  
       
       AIRPORT

        TRACY:  What do you know?  I have a voicemail from Dillon.   I bet he's filling me in on the exotic locations he's scouting for his next movie.   Let's listen.  

       DANTE AND LULU'S APARTMENT

     LULU:  What are you talking about Dante?  I screwed up and didn't trust you.  I'm SOOOOOOO sorry.  
     DANTE:  I'm the one who needs to be sorry.  I have a confession to make...

      HOSPITAL

    NIKOLAS:  Don't worry about Hayden, Liz.  I'll take care of her.  (to himself)  In the most Cassadine way possible. 
    LIZ:  I knew I could count on you, Nikolas!  

      AIRPORT

     DILLON:  That plane already left?  CRAP!  

      Q MANSION

     PAUL:  Thanks for sharing the cab with me, Tracy.  
     TRACY:  Go to hell, Paul.  Where's Dillon?