Mother and Child Reunion

       It was all about li'l Jake returning to his mama today and huge kudos to Becky Herbst, Jonathan Jackson, Tony Geary, and James Nigbor, the kid who plays li'l Jake.  Lucky knocks on the door, a relieved Liz greets him.  He sees Aiden, who spills the beans about "Mommy's new friend Jake".  Liz is in disbelief when Lucky tells her that Jake's alive, but cries tears of joy when her presumed-dead son shows up at her doorstep.

       Elsewhere in The Chuckles, the Jake who's really Jason has a nice sit-down with Monica about Jason, though neither of them know that Jake really is Jason.  How's that for a confusing sentence?   Dante 'fesses up to kissing Valerie, but the rest of the dirty deed is still top secret to anyone other than Dante, Valerie, and their boss, Jordan.  Jordan gives Val some tough love.  Sam and Patrick chat about Hayden and the subject of Nikolas comes up.  Nikolas, meanwhile, learns that his mother's reunion with Luke was part of a ruse to save Lucky.

       LIZ'S HOUSE

       LUCKY:  Knock knock!
       LIZ:  OMG, Lucky!  I was so worried about you!
       LUCKY:  Sorry about the missed Skypes with Aiden.  Totally forgot he was back from Kiddie Witness Protection.  That and I was kidnapped.
       LIZ:  Say WHAAAAAAAAAAT?   Hold that thought, I'm going to get Aiden.

      DANTE & LULU'S APARTMENT

     DANTE:  I made a huge, ginormous, epic mistake with Valerie when I thought you were cheating on me with Dillon.  Can you forgive me?
     LULU:  Maybe, maybe not.  Was it just a kiss?   Open-mouthed or closed?   How much tongue?
     DANTE:  Come again?
     LULU:  Carly said you and Valerie locked lips.  I need deets before I decide whether or not to forgive you. 

     PCPD

     JORDAN:  Listen, Valerie, I'm so not cool with this tawdry office affair thing.  Lomax has me on 24-7 surveillance and has a robot programmed to skip over the boring stuff and find the juicy footage for her to watch in her pajamas while drinking wine and eating bonbons.   How a robot knows what's juicy, I have no idea, but if there are two people talking, it flags that footage.   So, no more talk about "indiscretions" with one of my top cops, capiche?
     VALERIE:  Yes, Commissioner.  I apologize, Commissioner.
      JORDAN:  Now get back to work.
     VALERIE:  For the record, it's all over.   Lulu is back.  She didn't do anything with Dillon.  Lulu and Dante's marriage isn't over.
      JORDAN:  Let's keep it that way.   (to herself) I hope she doesn't call my bluff about the robot.  I totally made that up so she'd keep her trap shut!

     LIZ'S HOUSE

    AIDEN:  DADDY!!!!!!!
    LUCKY:  Hi there, kiddo!  How was Kiddie Witness Protection?
   AIDEN:  It was awesome!   We were in a cave filled with bouncy castles and ball pits and ate pizza all the time.  But the pizza had broccoli on it 'cuz we needed to eat our medgetables.  Oh, and Mommy has a new friend named Jake.
    LIZ:  Back to bed with you, sweetie-pie.  Maybe Daddy can read you a story that does not involve broccoli pizza.

     WYNDEMERE

     NIKOLAS: (to himself) Good, Hayden's driver's license is still in its proper place.  I still can't believe she bribed the DMV to say she was born in 1984.  (to Laura)  Mother.  How was your trip.  I still find it hard to believe you got back together with Luke.
     LAURA:  About that, it was all an act.  Lucky was kidnapped, or rather, he arranged to have himself kidnapped, in order to save Jake.
     NIKOLAS:  How does Lucky know Jake?   Besides, Jake isn't worth saving.  He joined forces with Michael to try to undo my takeover of ELQ.
     LAURA:  I don't think we're talking about the same Jake here, Nikolas.  The Jake Lucky saved is nine years old.   He's my grandson, Jake Spencer.
     NIKOLAS:  How can you save a child who has been dead for five years?   Should I be worried about you, Mother?

    HOSPITAL

    SAM:  Let's have a dinner date.
    PATRICK:  As soon as I find out if Hayden Barnes is waking up from that coma or not.
    SAM:  About Hayden, it appears that Nikolas knows her.  I ran into Lulu's very chatty cousin Valerie, who told me that Hayden shacked up with Nikolas at Wyndemere after Carly outed her at the Nurses' Ball.
     PATRICK:  Hayden and Nikolas, that's interesting...
     SAM:  Yes it is.   But what is most interesting is if she can tell us who Jake really is when she wakes up.
     PATRICK:  If she wakes up.

    LIZ'S HOUSE

      LUCKY:  My son's been raving about this Jake guy and his great voices.
      LIZ:  Yeah, Jake's kind of my new boyfriend.
      LUCKY:  Hey, I got no problem with that.  We've both moved on.  But it might get a little confusing around the house soon.
      LIZ:  Confusing?  Why is that?   By the way, Josslyn is cancer-free after five years.  Isn't that great news!  Our little boy gave her five years she wouldn't otherwise have.
      LUCKY:  Except he didn't.
      LIZ:  Of course he did.  The doctors harvested all of his organs.   We were both there, remember.
      LUCKY:  You need to listen to me, Elizabeth.  Jake did not donate his kidneys to Josslyn.  He couldn't have survived if he did.
      LIZ:  Survived?  This is SO not funny, Lucky.   Why are you saying these things to me?
      LUCKY:  Jake, our son Jake, is ALIVE, Elizabeth!   He's alive and I have proof.  You can see him for yourself.  He's right outside.
      LIZ:  O.  M.  G.   JAKE?   Is it REALLY you?
      LUCKY:  Jake, this is your mom.
      LI'L JAKE:  So I do have a mom.   Why is she so sad to see me?
      LIZ:  I'm not sad, sweetie.  I'm so HAPPY!   And so LUCKY!
      LI'L JAKE:  You're not Lucky.  (points to Lucky).  He is.  My dad is Lucky.  That's his name.  I'm Jake Spencer.  My Grammy Hella always said that life was like a box of the world's most expensive chocolates.  You never know which ones are poisoned. 
      LIZ:  Words to live by.   What I meant was that I am so lucky to have you back.  
  
     Q MANSION

      JAKE: Yeah, I'm just waiting for Michael.  My boss.  A little impromptu meeting.
      MONICA:  I'm afraid Michael's out on a date with Sabrina.   Was he expecting you?
      JAKE:  That's the thing, I should have called.  I'm sorry to bother you, Mrs. Q.
      MONICA:  It's no bother.  He'll probably be back soon, if you want to make yourself at home.
      JAKE:  Okay.  Sure, why not.  (picks up a picture of AJ and Jason)
      MONICA:  Those are my two dearly-departed boys.
      JAKE:  I'm so sorry for you loss, Mrs. Q.
      MONICA:  Please, call me Monica.   Allow me to tell you about Jason Quartermaine...

     OUTSIDE LIZ'S HOUSE

     LIZ:  OMG, I am so in shock right now!    I don't know what to say to my own kid.
     LUCKY:  You'll figure it out.   We both will.
     LIZ:  Why am I out here and he's in there?   I just abandoned him AGAIN!

    DANTE & LULU'S APARTMENT

    DANTE:  So can we kiss and make up?
    LULU:  Not yet.  I need to make some more angsty faces and erase the image of you kissing Valerie from my brain.  Got any more of those weird Frustrated Peacock beers?   They're curiously strong, like the Altoids of beer.
   DANTE:  And here I thought you were more of a wine gal.    
   LULU:  Valerie is SO gonna get it!  Wait until I tell Maxie about this.
   DANTE:  I started the kiss and Valerie stopped me, so don't got all vigilante on your cousin, please.

    PCPD

  VALERIE:  (to herself)  Back home to Wyndemere to drown my sorrows about losing a man who was never really mine to lose.   Dammit, Lulu, you couldn't just have a real affair so I could be your hot hubby's mistress, could you? (phone rings) Dante?
 DANTE:  Lulu knows about the kiss, but the rest of it's still top secret, got it?   That means no blabbing to anyone else, especially our boss.
  VALERIE:  Yeah, sure.   (to self) Too late for that.

  WYNDEMERE

  LAURA:  Nikolas, would you stop being a brooding Cassadine for two seconds?   You're giving me scary flashbacks of your father.
 NIKOLAS:  Sorry, Mother.  I was just thinking about how sad it is that Jason's not alive to see that his kid is alive (to self)  Thank GOD I got through that with a straight face)

  LIZ'S HOUSE

  LIZ:  Jake, are you hungry?   You and Daddy have my permission to raid the fridge AND the pantry.  How awesome is THAT? 
  LI'L JAKE:  Cool!    (Li'l Jake and Lucky go in the kitchen)
  LIZ:  Thanks, Luke, for bringing Jake home to me.  I used to think you were super-scary, but you're kinda awesome.
  LUKE:  Well, I'm glad I don't scare you too much anymore.  Take that second chance with Jake and run with it.

  LUCKY:  Dad, what if I have those same demons in me that you have in you.  I think I have them.  I don't want to become Flucky and try to blow boats up or take a bite out of anyone's ear. 
  LUKE:  If that happens, call me.  I know a few good shrinks who can straighten you out.  I also have the number of my tattoo artist.

  JAKE:  Hi Uhlizabeth.  I guess you have company.  Who's this kid?